My HbA1c was rarely below double figures for over 10 years - I had an eating disorder specific to diabetics, where you use (lack of) insulin to control weight. Not that that has ever been recognised by any of my consultants/nurses (I've never really told anyone) - it's only by joining some online support groups that I realised it even existed and with hindsight could see actually what my behaviour was IYSWIM. That and my DH was incredibly supportive and I found someone who would look at the issues I had fairly analytically and suggest ideas that had some chance of working (eg applying for pump funding) so here we are. I honestly don't know what would have happened by now if I hadn't been funded for a pump.
The feelings I had a few months ago about this pregnancy (which I posted a bit about at the time re not testing etc) scared me because they were similar to how I felt as a teenager when this eating disorder thing kicked off - I got very skilled at saying the right things to HCPs, not testing for weeks/months on end and making up fairly realistic BG readings :( To my shame I'm still very good at bullshitting HCPs and have to consciously decide not to...the leftovers of what went before, I suppose.
Eventually I came to the opinion that I couldn't change what I'd done in the past, only how I deal(t) with it now, and my control has been much more stable and I've been much more open/involved in treatment etc than ever before. Long hard road to travel though.