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Pregnancy

Anyone Else Pregnant Aged 44?

183 replies

LottieH · 20/02/2013 16:02

Is anyone else out there in their mid 40s & pregnant like me? Everyone else I know who is expecting seems to be in their 30s (which I was when I started having children) but now feel people think I'm a bit odd?! Have had some very strange comments when I've announced it to people.

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ExpatAl · 21/02/2013 14:11

Couldn't you ask your midwife?

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cyclecamper · 21/02/2013 14:12

Hi Rosie I think that any time you are worried it's ok to ask - isn't that what early pregnancy units are for? I would call the midwife for re-assurance, although from reading on here, it seems to vary enormously when people first feel the baby - some before 10 weeks, some at 25. And I think we get special dispensation to be neurotic, being what my dr calls 'an elderly lady' Grin.

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McGilly · 21/02/2013 21:00

Yes ask for check. Here in Australia a Doppler check is standard at each appt. I also went outsid appts a couple of times ... as they say, mum knows best. I would stop short of hiring your own Doppler though, then you really will never relax!

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MinkyWinky · 22/02/2013 16:28

Hi! 44 and 8 weeks pregnant. It's my third pregnancy, but I miscarried my first two Sad. I went to my GP this morning and she's organised a viability scan next Wed (fingers crossed for good news) as I couldn't face waiting until 12 weeks because of my previous history. She was very reassuring as I'm feeling sick, have sore boobs and am very tired and no bleeding this time - all positive signs Grin

Rosie I called my EPU direct and they told me to book it via the GP. Different units have different criteria, but if there's no harm in asking if you can have an early scan.

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LottieH · 22/02/2013 16:50

Big congrats Minkywinky! Those are all really good signs so as a fellow 44 year old a few weeks ahead of you am keeping everything crossed for you (hope the sickness isn't too unbearable). x

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MinkyWinky · 22/02/2013 16:54

Thanks LottieH. It's good to know I'm not the only pregnant 44 year old around! I'm probably jinxing myself here, but while I'm feeling sick, I'm not actually throwing up, which is a bonus Grin

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rosiedays · 22/02/2013 17:31

HI minky Congrats Wink

I called MW this morning, she was usless (i ended up in tears!) She said the EPU would not see me after 18 weeks (I'm 18+3) and i@m to early to go to the day assessment unit!!! Where am i supposed to go??? called GP as by this point i had worked myself into a complete paranoid state ( you'd think at our age we'd know better!!)
GP was great, sent me to EPU for scan. All is good Grin i feel so much better, DR at EPU was amazing and checked everythng. my placenta is low and at the front, Baby lying behind it. she said this is prob why i cant feel movement yet (she gave me a pic which they dont nrmally do at EPU Thanks
seeing baby wriggeling was so reasuring and helped so much.
Also found a loveely new flat (with a huge garden and veg patch!!!) did all paperwork there and then. huge relief. 1 month and i'll have a bath Grin

in arabic there is a saying yom assel yom bassel. means some days are honey some days are onions. today is a honey day. x

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ExpatAl · 22/02/2013 18:03

So glad you've had a honey day rosiedays
I can't believe your MW was so unhelpful. What are they for?

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soupmaker · 22/02/2013 21:31

Hi Minky. Just wanted to say I know how nervous and stressful these first weeks are. I've had 2 MC. I'm now 17 weeks and still not feeling confident. Keeping everything crossed for you.

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MinkyWinky · 23/02/2013 12:39

Woohoo rosie I'm glad your GP came through for you and it became a honey dayGrin

Thank you soupmaker, it's always reassuring to hear someone else has been in the same situation and it's turning out well!

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ExpatAl · 23/02/2013 12:45

I think you have a scan next Wednesday don't you Minky? It's amazing how just a few days can feel like months away. I had a couple of early scans at 6 and 7 weeks and would feel okay until the morning of the test and then it would seem as if all my symptoms had disappeared. Torture! I will have my NT scan next Thursday and I'm very very anxious. I have all my fingers crossed for you but symptoms and no bleeding are definitely a great sign.

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cyclecamper · 23/02/2013 20:09

Great news Rosie glad you were re-assured Thanks. I like the idea of honey days Smile.

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Lottielloyd · 24/02/2013 17:28

I'm 44 and 7 weeks pregnant. I'm terrified x

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littlepinkfizz · 24/02/2013 19:33

What a lovely thread of wonderful stories!!

I'm 42 but unfortunately not pregnant although trying desperately. Have 4 dc,15,15,13 and 2. Had mc in July past at 13 weeks and a chemical pregnancy last month.

Keep your little fingers crossed for an old timer .

You all sound so lovely,your babies have picked their mums well x

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rosiedays · 24/02/2013 19:36

HI LottieL welcome and crongrats Thanks
do tell your story, I was terrified and Horrified when i found out. took me some time to get my head round things.... i still have days now when i struggle. were you ttc? there are loads of us 'older' mums to be on here. x

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Squidwoman · 24/02/2013 20:31

Can I join this thread? I'm 41 and nearly 12 weeks with DC4. My others are 13,11 and 8 but this will be my DP's first. We weren't ttc but had wanted one.

Still it's a bit of a shock to find myself starting all over again now! I am secretly very excited about it all BUT very nervous about the NT scan and bloods I am having on Wednesday. Worried about CVS if it looks necessary etc.

It's good to know there are other 40+ women out there in the same position. We have told no one yet. For some reason I'm nervous about how people will react because of my age?!

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rosiedays · 24/02/2013 21:26

HI pink fizz hope you can join us soon Smile

Hi squid pull up a chair.... there is a fab 40 thread... it's very busy!!(i cant keep up!!)
I have 2 DDs 25 and 22 and a DGD 1.5 also just found out DD1 is expecting in november.
We wern't trying in fact i'd been told it would not happen without help HA it did. HUGE shock! it's DH 1st and he is SOOO over the moon i can't help but be happy.
Having had my first 2 in my late teens it feels like the first time again.

hi expat always read your posts! a wize woman, & cycle you seem to be coping so well! (i lurk on fab 40)

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MinkyWinky · 24/02/2013 21:57

Hi LottieL! It's sounds like you're only a week behind me. You're not the only one who's scared. Are you worried about anything in particular or just generally? We're here to hand holdGrin

Sounds like a few of us have scans this week. Fingers crossed for everyone.

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cyclecamper · 24/02/2013 22:05

Thanks Rosie! Coping is kind of what I do - I've been a nanny for 22 years and I think you just get into the habit of being the person who gets on with what needs doing, something that has continued with having a (lovely) husband who suffers from depression and anxiety as well as serious asthma. Mind you, today I have been feeling rubbish all day and have barely moved from the sofa!

Hi squidwoman - haven't had anyone say anything other than supportive things about my age (although my dr has told me that I'm an 'elderly lady' - bless her Grin). That maybe being in London and that most of the women I work for have had children at my age or later, but I don't think it is the big deal that it used to be.

Hi Lottielloyd and pinkfizz

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soupmaker · 24/02/2013 22:20

Hello squid. No-one has so much as raised an eyebrow at my age. Not even the health professionals. They all seem very relaxed about it.

I was really nervous about the NT scan too and was convinced that the screening would result in me being very high risk because of my age. But the results came back as low risk. I know it's no guarantee but was amazed.

Keeping everything crossed for us all.

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ExpatAl · 25/02/2013 13:53

Hi there Squid and Pink - good to have more maturable pregnant woomen as my MW says. Every time she sees me she says formidable and claps her hands. I love her even though I understand only about two words in ten.

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Squidwoman · 25/02/2013 19:32

I like the sound of being maturable. And actually I quite like the idea of doing it again with the benefit of experience of 3 DCs but a huge gap (9 years) to make it feel like starting again. It is DPs first so all new to him!

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rosiedays · 25/02/2013 20:11

when i went for my booking appointment and sugested to the MW my age might be a concern she laughed! 40 is the new 30 she said followed by loads of lovely comments about how young i look!!

squid i have a 22 year age gap!!! think this must be some sort of record!

meeting my parents for lunch tomorrow... it's going to be very dificult. they do NOT approve! hayho not like i did it on purpose LOL. i think they thought i'd finally stoped letting them down and embarrising them. I had my first at 18 whilst still at V expensive convent girls school!! OOPS. went on to have the first divorce in family history and topped it all a couple of years ago by getting married to my wonderfull DH on the beach in egypt without telling anyone! (12 years younger than me and MUSLIM (= terrorist to her!!) my mother has already started making comments re baby colour and what religious difficulties there might be!!! she took my daughter to the priest the first time i let her out on her own with her to have her baptised (and save her from the fires of hell!)
it's going to be a LONG day. x

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Sammi7169 · 27/02/2013 05:04

wow, great tosee so many other similar aged mums and mtb. Am 42 and 38 weeks pg with our first. Will look up the fab 40 post

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cyclecamper · 27/02/2013 10:28

Hi Rosie. How did the lunch with your parents go? I think my husband might break off all contact with my parents if they got the baby baptised! Fortunately they are a different flavour of religious (evangelical free), so do adult full submersion baptism. I have probably been a disappointment to them (dropped out of nursing; dropped out of uni; never finished anything, ever; married a divorced buddist/atheist/Quaker) but they have mostly kept it to themselves, possibly because I'm happy anyway. My sister did it properly: Qualified as a teacher, married at 20, got 5 children who she home educates and takes to church twice on Sundays! That is possibly why I get let off doing it right!

Waves to sammi and everyone.

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