Last week or two of pregnancy

[squidkid]

Just a place for advice/suggestions or a place to chat for those of us in the last couple weeks of pregnancy. I am on a brilliant antenatal thread but my due date is the first there and I don't want to bore them all with nonsense about braxton hicks and how to fill my days when lots of them are still at work... and I think they would prefer their babies to stay inside for now! I'm not quite at the "get it out of me" stage yet... but I'm definitely at the "if you came now you'd be very welcome" stage.... :)

I am 38+5 today and this is first baby. I know most first babies come late, so I've been trying to tell myself I'll be late throughout the pregnancy, but now I'm term it's hard not to be excited. In the last three or four days I've had long periods of continuous mild period-like pain, and some painful tightenings (sometimes very close together, but then they stop). Are these imminent signs, do these mean nothing... I don't really know. I haven't had a show.

Baby has been engaged since 34 weeks (uncomfortable!) I'm pretty sure his/her back is on the left side at the front (all the kicks are upper right hand side) which I think is ideal. I'm a little obsessive about keeping baby in a good position - I spend time on all fours, make sure I get plenty of walking/standing, sit on a gym ball when I'm on the computer, sleep on my side, I don't lie back on the sofa. I'm probably overthinking this.

I am doing pretty ok for late pregnancy - still walking at least a few miles a day, or swimming, or walking into town every day. I actually did a charity night hike last night! (Boyfriend carried maternity notes in his backpack through the woods - it was a bit stupid really!) I am slow, but I thought I'd be a lot heavier and more immobile by this stage to be honest. I stopped work a while back - a very busy, stressful, physically and emotionally demanding job - so I've had a lot of time to relax, nest, exercise, see almost all my friends, sort my flat out. Everything is neat and sorted and stocked and ready.

I'm grateful that I've had a troublefree pregnancy and hoping the birth will go fine too. Feeling positive and relaxed about it, just impatient!

How are other people doing? Staying busy, getting anxious, waiting, over-analysing every tiny sign!? Any suggestions for good things to do in the last week or two? Please no one tell me to 'get lots of sleep' as this is the one thing I am completely incapable of at the moment - up every 30-60 mins through the night...

Great analogy goldengirl.

I also was going to say that I don't know anyone who doesn't feel like a goddess after doing labour, no matter what extra help they needed. (if they did) I hope that is in someway reassuring.

Goldengirl that is a great analogy and weezl, that is very reassuring!

I guess for me personally it's more the mental aspect? When I think about what's required mentally to jump off high things, crawl along narrow things, get in the ring...I suppose I always kind of equated it with the mental aspect of childbirth - not being afraid, trusting your body etc. I don't feel like it's anything to be disappointed about if intervention is needed...but I also want that actively looking forward to giving birth to come back too.

Hahaha I think there is a massive amount of anticipation, over-thinking and worry going on that will dissipate during the birth because I suspect our minds might be on other things :)

Overthinking? That's me in a nutshell Orenishii ;)

Possibly a tad too over deep for a sunday afternoon, but one idea which helped me slightly after DS1 and DS2 (both of which very straightforward homebirths BTW) when hearing the vast range of women's experiences of what they had needed in labour in order to cope, was to hang on to the idea that labour isn't just one fixed thing.

It's not like woman A and woman B have the same labour, and woman A soldiers on with a hotwaterbottle, whilst woman B turns into a jelly and demands an epidural with no reason. (which I think is what women end up feeling when they feel a failure, 'why couldn't I manage without xxx, like susan up the road did?')

One key component of this, for me, is time. I used an impressive 9 cannisters of entonox in labour with DS1 and barely 1 with DS2. Had I acquired an amazonian resiliance in the interrim? Nope, DS2 took 1/6th the length of time to emerge of his brother

Also factors like how the baby is positioned, how full your bladder/bowel are etc etc all of which make it really different for every woman.

So I think in a nutshell I think that we will all do our very best with what happens at the time, and reach out for whatever resources we need to get us there.

Sorry if that all sounds a bit pontificate-y, it's probably the hormones! ;)

I was terrified about labour with ds - because it was fear of the unknown, and because I'd worked in obstetrics and seen a skewed proportion of complicated deliveries rather than straightforward labours like the majority are. My actual experience of labour was really positive though - despite having an epidural in the end, at no point did it feel unmanageable or did I start to worry that I wouldn't be able to get him out. The decision to have an epidural was a reasoned one because I was getting very tired and didn't know how long the labour would go on for. I had to push for 2 hours but it didn't feel anywhere near that long - thank goodness! Guess I must have been off in my own little zone. I think staying calm and not panicking is the key to a good labour - I know there are other factors, such as baby size and lie etc - but trying to stay relaxed helps your body to relax and do what it needs to do to get baby delivered. It sounds daft, but I was pleasantly surprised how my body just got on with it! There is so much talk about what to do during labour, how to breathe, what position to be in, but at the end of the day your body knows instinctively how to deliver a baby and will simply get on and do it! You have to join in at the end with some highly unglamorous pushing, but trusting in your body and letting it get on with it is the most helpful thing you can do! Hope that doesn't sound patronising - I'm not an expert, I've only done it the once - just wanted to give some encouragement. x

Nice posts, ladies. I am due today and am going thru many emotions!! But mostly I am excited and relaxed. My fears are there lurking, but mostly they involve afterwards!! Perhaps I hav woven myself a cloak of delusion but I hav come to the conclusion that baby has to come out, I hope to be relaxed and strong, but I will get it out however it will happen!! I do think the hypnotherapy and lots if reading up has got me here calmly and confidently but I think I hav also accepted that I hav no idea how labour will feel!!! Nothing I can do about it until it happens!! As for when baby does arrive and we hav to actually look after it, well that is a whole other kettle of fish!!! But again, I hope my instincts are good and DH does not crumble!!!!

Feeling rather positive, me!! Wonder how I will feel in 10 days if bubs has not decided to come out yet??!!!!

See these ladies put it a whole lot better than I!

These are all seriously warm, encouraging and lovely posts - and I thank everyone of you :)

It is the fear of the unknown - which is a lot around the actual baby and what to do with it, hahaha! I continue to have the same faith in my body as before - weirdly I am more afraid of not embracing the birth than I am of a long, tiring, complicated labour. It almost feels out of your hands at that point. One woman told me she'd done hypnobirthing, was at home and planned a water birth - but nine hours of vomiting forced them into the hospital for an epidural, the only thing that helped. And so you just think - well fuck yeah, nine hours of vomiting would make ANYONE crumble, sheesh!

Staying calm definitely seems to be the main thread in most birth stories so that's what I'll focus on :) I think once the bloody thing has started, it'll be OK - it's these pre-match nerves that are killing me!

I've found the discussion really useful too, thanks everyone for being really honest and thoughtful.

How is everyone this morning, are you all very fed up of pregnancy?! :)

Does anyone with older DCs find it really difficult to feel like the time is right to be able to go into labour because of the conflicting needs of your older ones? My youngest having asthma after suspected whooping cough this week, and my eldest having a random sickness bug (so DH and I are on a 6-7 night-time disturbances a night ATM) feels like it's really dented my ability to do this next big thing (labour and a newborn).

Just wondered if anyone has any thoughts about that. :)

Weezl, (EDD 23rd October, DC3, planned homebirth)

Morning all,

Wow, you've all articulated so well EXACTLY how I'm feeling at the moment. 40 + bloody 9 today.

Orenishii love your comment about pre match nerves! Mine have well and truly kicked in today and I'm feeling really, really anxious and sorry for myself :( Dtd last night and felt convinced that would do something but no, nothing. Also, someone I know had her baby 3 weeks early yesterday!

MY MW just phoned (I'd left a message last night as I wasn't able to be booked in for my induction at last appt with different useless MW) There's a bug on the ward meaning everything's bit chaotic at the moment - water pipes all being ripped out/replaced etc. I started bawling virtually as soon as I spoke to her but she's really helped, explained the process and given me a correct no to call on the day - gos to show what a difference having a kind, helpful MW can make.

DH has been working from home recently, in case anything starts but has given up and gone into the office today, in the hope that it might make something happen, I don't think there's any chance whatsoever (can you tell I'm feeling mightily sorry for myself!)

Spice17, eating pinapple rings, signing off desperately hoping the next time I post, I'll have my girl Good luck to the rest of you too!

Spice just a quickie! R pineapple rings tinned?? Think the enzyme that matters is bromaine or something, name irrelevant. But it is destroyed by juicing or canning!! Need fresh pineapple!! Even at that, prob need about 10!! Just had half pineapple for breakfast. Oof. Off now for membrane sweep, oh dear!

X

Ahhh, yes it's tinned - oops! Thanks for the tip.

Hope your sweep went OK, I found mine a little uncomfortable but totally manageable and fine. I think knowing you have to get a baby out of there at some point made me care so much less about the other stuff

Feeling a lot, lot better having spoken to DH and Mum - I'm going to have my baby by the end of this week!!

Just a note for all of you (and I know we all know this) but MW was very stong on reminding me that if I have ANY concerns about movement, to call the hospital.

Spice17 hope to hear your exciting baby news soon - every day must feel like a drag now but you are so close to having baby in your arms! :) Very true about movements - I had a 4am trip to labour ward last week as baby girl went quiet for an evening. She woke up on the monitor thankfully and gave me some good hard kicks, but the midwife told me off for not having gone in sooner. Part of you thinks "I'm just being paranoid" and you don't want to make a nuisance of youself, but the consequences of putting off going in are too great. Happened to my husband's colleague recently... shudder

Weezl74 that's tough about both your dc's having been poorly - and the bad sleep too. Hoping the sleep improves tonight and you can manage some rest. I'm anxious about who will look after ds while I'm in labour at the hospital - I have 3 neighbours I can call upon (no relatives nearby) and just hoping that one of them will be in and can take him when the need arises. Ds has feeding problems so I will have to give them a bag of food with instructions plus his medicines and just hope that he will eat something. I know I will worry about him though.

Sorry to post and run and not contribute to the ensuing discussion. Thank you so much for all your replies, felt bad for such an epic, me me me post, but feel lots better having got it all out there and knowing it's not just me feeling like that. Have spent day at wildlife park with DH and feel heaps better, think it wasn't helping that I was over-thinking due to having too much time on my hands. And I agree that too much preparation is maybe not the best thing. Maybe we should all step away from the research!

I like the harder climb/higher mountain analogy goldengirl, that's a good way of looking at things.

Weezl - the pain relief thing - I can't really give you a sensible answer, apart from an instinctive feeling that I want to experience the whole thing exactly as it is, however hard that is - I want to find out, I'm curious about what I can put my body through (in a physical challenge kind of way, not in a destroying myself kind of way). To use another climbing analogy - a few times, I have found myself on climbs that have turned out to be a great deal harder than I expected, to the point where I doubted I could finish them and had almost surrendered myself to falling off (and possibly not surviving the experience if my protection failed) and at that point I had no choice but to pull on inner resources, hope my strength held, and carry on for as long as I could. And I got to the top. In desperation, I found strength I didn't know I had - and proved to myself what I am actually capable of when I have to be. Those experiences have given me the knowledge that I can handle more than I think, and the ability, when things are difficult, to remember that there is always a way through, you just have to keep calm and find it - a tough situation won't go on forever. More of a "how am I going to do this?" attitude than an "I can't do this!" attitude, or an "inner-ness", as *Orenishii put it. So I guess I see labour like that, I want to give myself the opportunity to keep calm and find my way through by myself, however difficult it is, and however much I think at certain points that I won't be able to go much further. Deciding to go with an epidural or pethidine or things like that at the start will take that opportunity away. I don't know if that makes any kind of sense but it's the best I can describe it. I'm not averse to accepting other kinds of pain relief if it really does get too tough but I want to give myself the opportunity not to, and for me that means setting out with the intention not to and in a way, expecting myself to be able to cope. I probably sound either completely stupid, completely naive or completely arrogant

Spice, think you are saintly for still being fairly calm at 40+9!

weezl yes, yes! I feel exactly the same. I'm worried I'll never go into labour because the DC are around. I didn't last time until DS went to visit Nanna. I'm hoping to go into labour in the early hours of the morning so I can get MIL over by 8 then I go give birth in hospital say by 10?
That would be great and of course I know this will happen! Haha!

Will come back, worried my sausages are burning!

I'm 40+1
I was medically induced for my previous 2 children at 40 +10 despite in the few days before, trying any of the reasonable induction suggestions on the internet and 4 sweeps last time!

Just wanted to say, although all was going well, and being (I think!) a fairly laid back/ prepared person both times . . . . at around 40 + 4 I became quite worried about being incapable of giving birth/making decisions and overwhelmed. Its one of the few times I have blamed my hormones in pregnancy! But may be because I had ran out of things to do and had time to overthink!

Thought I was quite physically active but reading these posts feeling a bit of a lazy bones, having a haircut tomorrow - so think may go for a long walk after this - hopefully feeling gorgeous!

PS main reason for typing was to thank Orenishii very much
for the link towards the start of this thread.

Thanks for the thoughts on older DCs. I really relate to what has been said.

I have packed a big blue ikea bag for my sons with toys, magna doodles, snacks they love but don't get many of (!), clothes, nappies and all that, so that if they are suddenly somewhere unfamiliar I have done my best for them. Still feel very torn though, even though I know they are very excited about the baby.

Speaking of which, I am not sure if this is relevant to any of you, but our Doula lent us a fantastic children's book called 'our water baby' which describes a little boy having a brother by a home waterbirth.

It has been really useful here, because we have read loads of 'new baby' books to our sons, but they all felt slightly unrepresentative because there is a focus on going away to the hospital. (which may happen but is unlikely).

I also got a lot out of the discussion upthread, about our fears of the babies coming . It's nice to have a place to be honest about all that kind of thing.

Hope you are all well. Labour vibes for those who are very fed up and longing to get baby out!

Weezl (Due DS3 23/10/2012) xx

ps yompingJo

"I'm not averse to accepting other kinds of pain relief if it really does get too tough but I want to give myself the opportunity not to, and for me that means setting out with the intention not to and in a way, expecting myself to be able to cope. I probably sound either completely stupid, completely naive or completely arrogant "

no, to me you sound sensible, resourceful and clear on what you want. Those are good qualities IMO! I am rooting for you and Orenishii (and everyone on here!) to get the birth that you want. And I also believe that even if any of us don't, that that will somehow all be ok too.

Yes, doesn't sound daft yompingJo. I had an epidural in the end with ds, and my mum said to me the other day "you will ask for an epidural again, won't you?" I can guarantee that if I start labour with the intention of having an epidural that I won't be able to have one - because it'll be too early, or too late, or the anaesthetist won't be able to come straight away. I think it is always best not to plan anything, but to try to stay relaxed and remember our bodies are designed to give birth to babies, and just see how we get on in the knowledge that there are other options there if we need them.

40+10 today. All I want to say is arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Horrific story on DM website today about a woman being induced at 40+12 (which I should be on Thurs) the baby was very sadly stillborn and she died for inexplicable reasons 5 hours later (which her DH is saying was 'heartbreak') It really made me feel breezy this morning! Sorry if upsetting.

Also, at this stage how much movement is deemed enough? I get the odd shift, wriggle etc but there's not much room in there any more.

Seriously, what can I do with myself? I really think I'm going mad now. My mum is coming round later and can't decide if I'd rather lay on the bed and wallow in my own panic and self pity today.

Massive apologies for the me, me, me post!

Oh spice
Come on little spice baby! Hope you are ok. Such a sad story in the DM. My anxiety about giving birth is sky high at the moment.
My mum is coming over to watch my youngest whilst I head to the midwife.
Sorry I didn't get to come back last night, I fell asleep after dinner!
IABU but DH is doing my head in! A couple of things he genuinely has really annoyed me but the rest I'm sure I'm just being grumpy and hormonal.
How are we all doing today?

Sea, i just shouted at dh for suggesting he might go to watch a football match next sat, am a right mardy cow today!

Also waking up really early every day now with an impending feeling that induction on Thurs is inevitable and Im feeling more scared by the minute.

Just phoned hospital about movement and they told me to eat something sweet, so am eating my hospital bag sweets for breakfast! She's moving away now, bless her.

Hugs Spice17 I don't blame you at all for climbing the walls. Or shouting at dh - men can be so stupid! ;) Glad baby is moving about again now - it is hard not to be anxious about movements, especially when like you say there is less space in there now for baby to flip about. If you haven't felt her move for a bit, eat some more sugary things, lie down on your side (and change sides a few times to wake her up and annoy her) and if you're still worried then I would just keep ringing the labour ward! They really won't mind - I used to work in obstetrics and nobody thinks mums-to-be are silly for ringing up about movements or going in to be checked on the monitor. Peace of mind is better than the unthinkable - so they will never make you feel bad for being overanxious! I got told off the other night when I went in because I hadn't felt baby girl move one evening for not having called them sooner. I'm only 38+3 (groan) but get anxious if I haven't felt baby move for only a short period of time! (Bless her, mummy won't let her sleep...) Have a nice cuppa and a biscuit and put your feet up if you can :) x

Spice I feel your pain - I'm exactly the same 10 days overdue and induction booked for Thursday! I feel like my body is failing which I know is irrational! I also read that awful story this morning and it made me worry too . I think the comments on there aren't particularly helpful with people saying 12 days is too long to wait for induction - it simply can't be true as our midwives wouldn't put us at unnecessary risk if that were the case. As for movement just be conscious that you feel her/him moving in normal pattern - mine has a routine now where whenever I eat or drink she wriggles like a beast :-)

Just did a massive walk and bounced on ball and curry for later - after this I admit defeat and await induction. Less than ideal as I'm desperate for a water birth and this will be out if reach if I have to be monitored etc

Fingers crossed these babies get a move on but know its just 2 more sleeps now and things will be starting so the frustration is near the end!

Sunny I feel like my body is failing too, why won't it just work properly?! I also feel induction is inevitable too but I guess you never know and I do know of a few people who went into labour naturally on the day. Have you been booked in? E.g given a time etc? I have to call on the morning which is making me anxious in itself.

I'm also hoping for a water birth but am lucky in the respect that they may let me use the pool (if available) when I go into active labour but I may decide an epidural is the way to go by then

It's an odd feeling of serious nerves/fear terror and excitement. I keep saying to people that I can't wait to find out what labour feels like and then think that I'm REALLY going to regret saying that!

I also obviously really want to meet my girl but also a bit very fearful - as lots of other ladies have said. I keep thinking what if I'm a terrible mum? and what if I don't love her? I'm sure I will but it's a random thought I now keep having.

I know this is totally not the same thing but when we went to look at a kitten 7 years ago, I had the same worry of 'what if I don't want him' and of course I did and he's still my No 1 boy now!

Don't know if I could handle this again. Been on Mat leave for what feels like forever too, would work later if I did it again I think.