Twin-Twin Transfusion Syndrome

[MrsStevo]

Hi!

I wanted to share my experience of the most horrendous week of my life and find out if there is anyone else out there in the same / a similar boat?

My MCDA (identical) twins were diagnosed as having Twin-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) at my 20 week scan last Tuesday (5th April). The doctor established this because one twin was smaller than the other, had virtually no amniotic fluid around it and was stuck to the wall of my uterus, not moving. It had a heartbeat but no bladder could be seen (as no fluid for it to drink / urinate). The other baby was swimming around in waaaaay too much amniotic fluid. The doctor thought I was at stage III of the condition (Stage V being babies have already died) so very serious.

So, I was referred to Birmingham Women's Hospital (I live in Lincoln) and had an appointment there on Wednesday afternoon. The (amazing) consultant - Mr. Bill Martin - scanned me and confirmed TTTS. He said he thought I was actually only stage II but basically said the only chance babies had was for me to have Fetoscopic Laser Ablation Surgery - keyhole surgery where they go into the sac that the bigger baby is in and laser / cut off some of the blood vessels in the placenta that the babies share so both babies have their own half. Odds are 40% chance of both babies surviving and 80% of one surviving. Plus added risk of early labour / waters breaking, infection etc.

Long story short, I was admitted to Birmingham Hosp on Wed PM and had the surgery at about 9am on Thursday. I was terrified - had to have spinal anaesthetic, be catheterised, wear a surgical gown and it was done in a big operating theatre with literally 15-20 people in it. However, my consultant was just amazing - so re-assuring and acted as though it was something he did everyday. He and his colleague were even chatting away about holidays whilst they lasered away.

After the surgery we (DH and I) had to wait for 6 hours before they would scan me again to see if the babies had survived the surgery. At the time, that was the longest 6 hours of my life. We had the scan at about 5pm and both babies were alive - the doctor said they looked healthy and it was the best outcome they could hope for. However, they also said that the next week is a crucial time and, if babies survive the week, then that is really good and indicates they both have a good chance of making it.

So. Here I am 4 days post-surgery with 43 hours until my next scan (they're doing it a day earlier in Lincoln so I can see my consultant there). I feel completely lost and totally in limbo. I don't know what to do with myself (aside from rest, feet up etc etc) but am just trying to stay sane. I'm trying my hardest to keep myself away from Dr. Google so I don't freak myself out by the statistics.

The biggest things I worried about right now:
Will both babies survive? I can't imagine my life without having twins in it now -these will be our first babies, having had a miscarriage last year.
IF they do survive, will they have any neurological damage as a result of surgery - cerebral palsy is a risk. How will we cope if they do?
I'm vegetarian - should I be on protein suppliements to promote healing / good blood quality etc?
Is there ANYTHING I can do to make the odds better?!

Oh. It is just a horrible time. My DH went back to work today (although he wants to be at home with me as much as I want him to be) so I'm alone with just my overactive mind (and a pesky cat) for company.

I wanted to write about this experience on here in case anyone has any pearls of wisdom or wants to share their experience of this horrible condition. Or, if anyone on here happens to be an expert in this condition, perhaps they can pump me full of optimism with a bunch of statistics that everything will be ok?

Thanks for taking the time to read / listen.

Morning, it was in the scanning room so not too much like an operation. I was taken into another room first, they put in a canula in case they needed to administer any drugs, gave me some antibiotics through the line and took some blood. They also gave me a patch to wear to stop any contractions which I had to wear for 48 hours.

At check up yesterday they were really pleased with progress and I don't have to go back to the specialist at Kings again - hope you have the same result.

Hi Mrs.Stevo,
i just put up a post with exactly the same experience as you - I am 17 and a half weeks pregnant and had exactly the same ordeal as you just yesterday - i had emergency laser treatment and like your twins one was stuck against the wall with no bladder visable and the other twin was surrounded by too much fluid. It's been the most horrific 24hour hours for myself and my partner and i am also looking for someone to talk to about this and to also hear some success and miracle stories as the statistics are so frightening and overwhelming. This is also my first pregnancy.

We were told were at stage II also. Thankfully both babies have survived for now and this morning twin two's bladder is visable and has fluid. There are also equal amounts of fluid now flowing into the sacs. All of the questions you have written are our concerns too, and sometimes i have to keep pinching myself to see is this actually all real and happening to us.I guess we all need to take it one slow step at a time. Two weeks ago everything was perfect with our twins and they told us it was highly unlikely anything like this would happen.We will be checked again on Tuesday so i will be lying low until then.

So i guess we are not alone in this!so nice to know other people experiencing the same thing as we do not know of anyone who has ever encountered this.

I wish you the very best of luck and keep me posted!

Twinnies 26

OMG!! I'm so sorry for not posting on this thread!! It disappeared off my 'threads I'm on' and I never thought to look for it again. Stupid woman. I'm so sorry.

twinnies and cake - I'm SO sorry that you're having to go through this as well. It is truly the most frightening experience I have ever been through - I never realised how much I loved these babies until I thought (was convinced in fact) that I'd lose them.

BUT I am now 29 weeks and both babies are looking fine - I am scanned every week to keep a close eye on their development and blood flow from the placenta and they are both ok. TTTS is a hideous condition but there are lots of positive stories of everything being ok with both babies so hold onto that hope if you can.

cake - in answer to some of your Qs (although I know Silver has already answered them) - my experience was that I was in an operating theatre, full on gown, catheter, spinal anaesthetic - which all sounds scary and horrible but the whole thing was so surreal it didn't matter much to me. Where are you having the surgery? Birmingham were just fantastic - i couldn't speak more highly of them so if you are there you will be in excellent hands. If you haven't already gone to hospital, make sure you take lots of things with you to keep your mind busy - we took our laptop and DVDs, crossword books and ipod with an audiobook. I would also say you should have someone with you - if you have a DH or DP then make sure they come with you, you can't go through it alone.

Recovery time from the laser surgery is really quick and I didn't experience any pain at all.

I feel awful for not checking this thread sooner. But I will be online all evening now so if anyone has any questions / wants to know anything more about my experience, I am more than happy to help. Ask away.

GOOD LUCK to you both. My thoughts will be with you. x x x

Sorry cake -I've just assumed that you'll be having the surgery and you haven't actually said whether you are or not. I hope you have been referred to one of the specialists though - I believe there are 3 in the country - Kypros Nicolaides (at Kings, London), Prof Mark Kilby and Mr Bill Martin (both at Birmingham). Not sure where you are geographically but hope you can get to one of those hospitals - your local consultant / midwife should refer you straight away.

twinnies - take it very easy until Tuesday. I hate to say it but it will probably be the longest 6 days of your life. Keep as busy as you can without stressing yourself / your body and try to stay as positive as possible. The fact that both babies were ok yesterday is a great sign. If there's anything I can help with let me know, I found it so hard not having anyone to talk to who understood the trauma of everything I had gone through.

MrsStevo,

thanks so much for your reassuring words, it is a comfort to know that there could be light at the end of the tunnel. I'm at home resting in bed and off work for the next week, i think i'm too afraid to go out and about and running around anyway

I guess our main concern is whether they'll survive and off course whether any celebral palsy might be involved, the thought just breaks our hearts. But we are trying to not think ahead and to just go step by step. I think im just in shock at how quickly things have turned on us - but we are trying to be as positive as we can be.

Not so many questions for now-we're just waiting to see if they survive the next few days.

Like i said nice to find other people with similiar difficulties as we felt quite alone with it all.

Will keep you posted. So delighted your twins are doing so well! xx

Glad you're taking it easy, I know what you mean about going out - don't think I left the house in the week between the surgery and scan. I kept bursting into tears randomly so didn't want to go anywhere.

I asked the TTTS specialist about the risk of cerebral palsy when I was re-referred to him (at 25 weeks, doctors found that my babies had vastly different amniotic fluid levels again so thought it was TTTS re-occurring .... it wasn't). Anyway, what he said was that the risk of CP is related to if one baby doesn't survive - and even then it is only around 5%. They can check the babies' brains on a scan and both of mine looked normal, but that doesn't actually rule CP / any other neuro condition out as I don't think it can be diagnosed pre-birth.

I know what you mean about how quickly everything changed. At my 18 week scan everything looked rosy and we rolled up to the 20 week scan and you could tell immediately that both babies were really poorly. I will never forget the image of them on the scan that day. BUT since then, we've got a hundred pictures of them looking healthy and contented and I look at them all the time. My DH and I sobbed when we saw them at the scan after the surgery and the one the week later.

I have everything crossed for you that your little ones will be ok and am here if you need anything x x

thanks so much - no disasters in the last 48hours since home - but another 3days until the scan, i think the waiting is now the worst part. I seem to be getting more anxious and upset with worry as the days are passing. I know this isn't good.

I just still can't believe that i was so oblivious to the fact that something so terrible was wrong. Like what silverangel says, its only now looking back that i realise my belly had got bigger but it's my first pregnancy and thought i just get bigger as they're twins.

Anyway hopefully we will get good news on tuesday.

Hi all, just popping in to say that my best friend had this procedure too, when she was pregnant with her girls. I am going to message her to see if she would come on the thread too, as her story is a very positive one, and although it was absolutely terrifying when they first found out and the pregnancy was not easy, her girls are now 3 year old monkeys who have just started nursery and they are absolutely brilliant!

Best of luck to you all, I know that my friend was really taken care of very well by the medical people once she was diagnosed and to look at her lovely girls now you wouldn't imagine they were ever in that situation. Anyway she is on holiday at the moment but I will get her to come on when she comes back...

thank you that would be great!

cake - any news? Have been thinking of you and sending 'good luck' thoughts.

twinnies - I really feel for you, I know the days just seem like the longest ever. Is there anything you can do to keep yourself busy? I remember doing a jigsaw puzzle just to keep my brain / hands occupied and it was something I could do with my feet up. I won't say 'try not to worry' as that is just super-annoying and useless to hear but try to at least think positively and carry on looking after yourself, eating well etc as that is all you can do at the moment.

I was exactly the same size-wise. DH had been taking photos of me every week and, looking back, I 'popped' at 19 weeks and suddenly felt huge ... now I know why, but at the time - like you - I just assumed it was normal for twins.

Will have everything crossed for you and will be thinking of you on Tuesday. Keep us posted x x

Hello, i am best friend of geraldinetheluckygoat (see above), just got back from my holidays and wanted to post something as have read through the posts above. Firstly i hope you are all well, i know what a difficult time it is, i have been in the exact same situation and its just like some sort of bad dream. I had the laser surgery at 21 weeks, just after my second scan for my twin girls. At the initial scan they didnt realise my twins were identical (crucial point, i now realise), and consequently didnt keep an eye on me as well as perhaps they should have.
Anyway, when TTTS was diagnosed at the scan, my consultant was brilliant - Heath hospital Cardiff - and referred me to St Michaels in Bristol, where the consultant there performed the surgery that night. I didnt have a spinal anaesthetic, just pethidine, and like your story MrsStevo, the staff were amazing, just did the procedure like it was an everyday thing! They also drained around a litre of amniotic fluid away from me, via a tube, which goes to show how much excess fluid i had on my bump!! Recovery was fine, its really just the anxiety that goes with it, but the procedure went really well and it was the babies best chance.
From then on i was scanned every week, which was so nerve wracking, as was obviously expecting the worse every week. As the weeks went by, me and my husband relaxed a little more, the only other hurdle was the proposed Mri scan to see if any damage to the babies. This was suggested that i have the scan at 36 weeks and i was dreading it - what if they told me something looked wrong? I didnt have to face any of that as it would happen, as the girls were born at 32 weeks as i was showing signs of pre eclampsia. It was scarey to have them so early, but on the other hand i was so glad to have them there to take care of and actually see them. They stayed in neo natal for 5 weeks, before they came home.
Those tiny babies are now 3 years old, they are fighting fit, and have never had any health problems whatsoever. I was so grateful to the doctors for the care they showed me and my girls, i sent them pictures of the girls when they were a few months old as it felt important to me that they see the end of the story, so to speak. I wanted them to know how they had affected my life, my husbands and my childrens, and how grateful i was - and will always be.
I am sending all my best wishes to you and anyone else affected by this, it really does help to speak to someone who has gone through it, its a fairly rare occurence and it made me feel isolated at the time. Stay positive, look after yourselves, and keep us updated :) Feel free to ask anything, if i can help, id be glad to!:))))

Hi MrsStevo and Hellswelshy,

thanks again for your messages, i am feeling brighter this morning and much calmer - thank god! Funny you mention doing jigsaws - we actually got a big 1000piece one and started it yesterday, figured it would distract the mind and it does!- so we are both working fast and furiously on it

hellswelshy - thanks for sharing your story - again it really helps to hear some success stories. Like you I had almost a litre drained and my belly is now over 2inches smaller! Just counting down the hours until Tuesday morning, but we are getting closer and i have had no more swelling or any pains etc.. so hopefully please god we will get some good news.

no word from cake then?

Twinnies, good luck for Tuesday, I have everything crossed for you xxx

Hello again everyone, sorry I didn't realise the thread had picked up again.

Mrs Stevo thank you for posting and also to hellswelshy - your story was so good to read, so good. I'm really pleased for your little monkeys. I too am under the care of the consultant at St Micheals at Bristol as I live locally to there.

I was assuming I'd have the laser surgery on Friday (yesterday) and it was a hard deliberation for the consultant to decide what was best, but in the end we are waiting until next Tuesday now to allow the amniotic fluid levels to build just a wee bit further to 'squash' the placenta a bit more so it can be accessed a bit better by the laser. Any surgical advantage we can get we need as this is their only chance of surviving.

twinnies26 I have just about everything crossed for you too, next Tuesday is a big day for us both!

Can I ask you all just few more questions about the procedure, it sounds like it was different for everyone.

1.After the procedure, did you have aches, twinges, scary moments. What helped?

1. Were you sore? Was the abdominal wound big - did it bleed or leak?

1. How did you feel doing normal stuff, walking about, going up and down stairs etc, no twinges?

Oh i can't tell you how good it is to find you ladies who have been/going through this too

oh, i also wondered, did you feel baby movement after the surgery for the next few days?

Oh cake, i wish you the very best for Tuesday - and i'm sure it must be awful to have to wait for the surgery. My situation was the same in that we were told if we didn't have surgery they would die no question but i was done there and then.

You will be fine on Tuesday, i guess maybe you might be more nervous as i was as I didn't get time to think about it as i was on the operating table within three and a half hours of my appointment. All i can say is remember that you are in the best of hands. I actually live in near Dublin in Ireland so obviously totally different team but still. I used to live in London that's how i know about this site.

The staff were all fantastic all so considerate and supportive. I was feeling so vunerable as i went to the appointment alone as E couldn't get the morning off with work. Obviously he arrived before the surgery!

Regarding procedure i was given 2 valium (which i was delighted with!)a suposidtory (spelling?)pethadine and an intrevenus antibiotic. i'm also on antibiotics for 5days to prevent infection in the wound.The procedure was not as bad as i had expected, didn't feel too much discomfort.I really tried to focus my mind elsewhere. The scariest and hardest part for me was trying to control my anxiety.

I didn't have any major abdominal pain afterwards, just felt a little tender inside after the laser i guess. I did,however, bleed and leak from my wound a few hours afterwards and quite alot. It wasn't pleasant but the nurses didn't seem too worried about it and it had settled down by the next morning. This morning we changed my dressing and it turns out the wound is actually tiny! Really you can expect little discomfort considering you will have keyhole surgery.

I stayed in bed all day or on couch Wed, Thurs and most of yesterday. Still resting up today - not out of discomfort but because i'm so tired from the emotional strain of it all (keep waking at 4.30/5am)and feel if i rest up i know i did my unmost best no matter what happens to our little girls. I don't really feel like being out and about and answering everyone's questions right now anyway.

I have only had little flutters so far in the pregnancy and as it is my first i have been unsure as to if they were really flutters at all! I did,however, feel a little push in my lower belly last night and wondered if that was one of the twins - but i just don't know for sure,so am not getting overly excited about it! The doctors will keep checking for movement while you are there, they were always poking my belly throughout all the ultrasounds to get the most movement out of them!

Will be thinking of you and sending you good wishes! Keep focusing on how many other people here success stories here, that's what keep me going! Before i found this thread i thought i'd never find anyone to ask questions to.

Twinnies xx

Hi cake, good to hear from you and so pleased you're getting good care at Bristol.

In answer to your questions - I think every moment is a scary moment after the procedure to be honest. I did have the odd twinge, cramp, pain now and again and immediately panicked but it was all nothing and probably just "normal" pregnancy twinges. I can't think of anything specifically that helped but I always tried to sit with my feet up, drink water and take deep breaths when I got panicky. Apparently sitting with your feet up is good for placental blood flow so I figured that must be a good thing.

The wound was tiny really compared to what I expected. It depends how your babies are lying as to where the surgeon will go in as they go into your stomach and through the bigger baby's amniotic sac. My scar is an X shape and is maybe 1cm x 1cm just below my belly button. I wear it with pride though as it saved my babies' lives. I wasn't sore at all really after the surgery but was very conscious of the wound, not wanting to knock it or have any tight clothing over it but it didn't hurt and didn't bleed / leak at all. I changed the dressing myself a couple of days afterwards and, after about 2 weeks, I cut the last of the stitches out myself as they weren't dissolving.

Doing 'normal stuff' was fine for me - but I didn't leave the house. I did take it very easy and spent most of the first couple of days in bed / on the sofa with DH looking after me. I didn't lift or carry anything as I just didn't want to take any risks. My worry (well one of them!) after the surgery was that my waters would rupture and I'd go into labour but that didn't happen. All in all I was actually more comfortable after the surgery I think as they drained a lot of fluid off my bump too. I had found even sitting was very uncomfortable and this was just the pressure on my bum cheeks from all the fluid (sorry if TMI)

One thing I did find though was that the 'discharge' I had been having throughout the pregnancy seemed to increase quite a lot, and has been the same ever since. At first I was worried it was my waters leaking but the MW said that if I didn't need to wear a pad then it wasn't my waters and was just normal.

I didn't feel any movements at all after the surgery - but then I hadn't had any before. I only started feeling movement at about 22 weeks. BUT I did have my own fetal heart monitor at home (Angel Sounds) which I had been using from about 16 weeks. I was very much in two minds about using it as I knew if I couldn't find a heartbeat then I would just fall apart but in the end I couldn't resist it and used it about 2 days after the surgery and then every day after that. Fortunately I could always find at least one heartbeat (quite hard to be sure I'd found two at the best of times) and I had reassurance from that. I can't say I'd recommend getting one though as it could just as easily be devastating if you can't find a heartbeat.

I will be thinking of you both on Tuesday. It is just such a hideous time I feel so sad that anyone else has to go through it too. I hope you've both got good DHs / DPs / friends that are supporting you - I wouldn't have got through it without mine.

Will be online a lot over the weekend and monday so feel free to ask any questions if you need to. x x x

Hi all,

Twiinnies, I feel for you knowing how you and Mr Twinnies are feeling right now. Feet up between now and Tuesday.

Cake, to answer your questions, my scar is maybe 5mm high up on the right hand side of my bump, can hardly see it now at all and I had no bleeding or anything after, they didn't even put a plaster on it. Where they go in will depend on the umbilical insertion points of your babies. I didn't have any twinges or anything after but pretty much straight after I could feel the recipient twin moving, up until then hadn't been able to feel it all - I guess because it had been floating around in so much fluid that once it had been drained its movements became more obvious. It wasn't kicking at that stage so just fluttering but I did spend the waiting until my next scan obsessing about what I could and couldn't feel.

I did nothing for the few days straight after, not for any physical reason, just felt like resting would give them the best chance of pulling through.

I had the suppository too, I had forgotten about that the whole thing was such a blur, I don't even know what it was for!

Thinking of you both and sending lots of positivity for Tuesday:)

Hi all,

Twiinnies, I feel for you knowing how you and Mr Twinnies are feeling right now. Feet up between now and Tuesday.

Cake, to answer your questions, my scar is maybe 5mm high up on the right hand side of my bump, can hardly see it now at all and I had no bleeding or anything after, they didn't even put a plaster on it. Where they go in will depend on the umbilical insertion points of your babies. I didn't have any twinges or anything after but pretty much straight after I could feel the recipient twin moving, up until then hadn't been able to feel it all - I guess because it had been floating around in so much fluid that once it had been drained its movements became more obvious. It wasn't kicking at that stage so just fluttering but I did spend the waiting until my next scan obsessing about what I could and couldn't feel.

I did nothing for the few days straight after, not for any physical reason, just felt like resting would give them the best chance of pulling through.

I had the suppository too, I had forgotten about that the whole thing was such a blur, I don't even know what it was for!

Thinking of you both and sending lots of positivity for Tuesday:)

Hi all,

Twiinnies, I feel for you knowing how you and Mr Twinnies are feeling right now. Feet up between now and Tuesday.

Cake, to answer your questions, my scar is maybe 5mm high up on the right hand side of my bump, can hardly see it now at all and I had no bleeding or anything after, they didn't even put a plaster on it. Where they go in will depend on the umbilical insertion points of your babies. I didn't have any twinges or anything after but pretty much straight after I could feel the recipient twin moving, up until then hadn't been able to feel it all - I guess because it had been floating around in so much fluid that once it had been drained its movements became more obvious. It wasn't kicking at that stage so just fluttering but I did spend the waiting until my next scan obsessing about what I could and couldn't feel.

I did nothing for the few days straight after, not for any physical reason, just felt like resting would give them the best chance of pulling through.

I had the suppository too, I had forgotten about that the whole thing was such a blur, I don't even know what it was for!

Thinking of you both and sending lots of positivity for Tuesday:)

Good luck to you both for Tuesday;will send all the most positive vibes to you both, keep strong for those little babies - they need you!! To answer the queries Cake, I had pethidine for the procedure and some local anaesthetic where they made the incision on my bump. It was a very small incision, and i didnt feel any discomfort during it, its like the others said, its mainly the anxiety. Make sure you keep calm as you can, focus on the fact they are doing an amazing thing to keep the babies safe and it will be over so quickly - honestly it will probably be over within 20mins. No real discomfort afterwards, the worst for me, as always was the thing they put in your hand as i have boney hands!!!! The very next day i felt movements from the babies, but only slight, and it felt different as so much fluid had been drained. Rest afterwards, at least for 24hrs with feet up and then take it as easy as you can...your body will tell you what to do.

I can honestly say the staff at St Michaels Bristol were superb;my male consultant (cant think of his name right now) was amazing, very calm, very logical, and very able. I felt very safe in his hands and knew he was doing as much as possible for me and the girls.

Fingers and everything else crossed for you both; and sending lots of warmth and understanding your way xxx

Hiya,

I have read and re-read all these recent posts avidly. Thanks for giving me so much information, it helps to visualise whats coming.

Pessary - is that the pain relief they pop up the bottom?

I also agree, hellswelshy that the Bristol staff are lovely, (my consultants name is Mark Denbow - does that ring a bell?) I have so much faith in him, and the nurses, and midwives are so caring, even the receptionist is lovely!

The waiting is the bad bit, I am keen to get moving with the procedure as its the only chance my girls will have to live, every now and again the horrible thought of coming home after and going into prem labour creeps into my head and I shudder to imagine what that will be like. I must try harder NOT to imagine then really shouldn't I?!

Thank you again, what a brilliant positive bunch of tough cookies you are

I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you both and really hope it all works out well for you. Every scan I go to I'm terrified what they will see and feel far more nervous about my ID twin pg than I did with dd1. I just want the pg over and to be bringing them home. Take care xx

Cake - I had to have a suppository as well and was told that it was to stop my uterus starting to contract which can happen when the amniotic sac is penetrated by the needle / probe thing. It is uncomfortable and undignified but, again, all necessary for helping your little ones so it didn't matter to me at all. Think I had to have it 2 hours before the surgery to give it time to work.

Horrible thoughts are par for the course I think. I kept thinking the absolute worst and, like I said before, I was convinced I'd lose them - either from them not surviving the surgery, or prem labour etc etc. In a way, I suppose me anticipating the worst was a self-preservation thing as if I had been super-positive and I'd lost the babies it would probably have hit me twice as hard. That said, I think it is important to try and stay as positive and as 'normal' as possible for the babies' sakes. Maybe try and be a bit strict with yourself when you think horrible things and make yourself think about something else or physically do something that keeps your mind busy. I listened to a lot of audiobooks and tried to read and stuff as that kept my mind busy.

You say we are tough cookies and I think we really are- I didn't feel in the least bit tough or brave at the time though but it is amazing what your body / brain will do to keep you strong when you need to be. It all felt overwhelming and impossible to me at the time but it really is just about getting through each day one at a time and ticking them off.

Fingers are remaining permanently crossed for you both x x

Yes Cake, it was Mark Denbow!! He was wonderful, you are in good hands - he was the consultant that performed the surgery, and the one i wrote the letter and sent pics of my girls to afterwards! Glad they are making you feel looked after; it was the same for me, i was sent there last minute from the hospital in Cardiff and i cant praise them enough. They even let my husband stay in my room with me overnight on a mattress on the floor as i didnt want to be on my own:))
Agree with MrsStevo, horrible thoughts are normal BUT we are all tough cookies (think twins are sent to very tough mums;) ) and positive and strong thoughts will help you and the babies get through it. I am amazed when i look back at my pregnancy and everything i went through, but it just goes to show what we are capable of.
Thinking of you and everyone else affected on this thread, will keep checking in if you need any more advice or just an ear to listen xx