breastfeeding few Q's

[jazz412]

Few questions: firstly, I realise that some women are unable to breast feed and thank goodness there's formula there for that! But (I've never breastfed, but am pregnant and planning to)I've had several people quite suprised that I'm planning on breastfeeding and don't want to breastfeed their own, I'm wondering why this is?

I'm in no way saying you SHOULD breastfeed but just asking why you would choose not to as it's free and surely easier (no making up bottles) when you get into the swing of it?

Some of my friends even seemed disgusted by the thought of breastfeeding?! Is anyone else - and if so, why?

Second question: I know it's suggested to feed up to 6 months if you can but many people obviously do more - what's the normal amount of time to carry on for?

Thanks and really not trying to offend or become a breastfeeding brigadier or whatever their called...LOL

I must say, I kind of thought it was assumed one would - no-one seems surprised that I plan to. I guess these things vary very much depending on who you speak to. I intend to because it sounds easier (if you can), it's free and there are probably possibly (no offence anyone!) some health benefits. Plus it's supposed to be great for losing baby weight. Shallow, moi?

However, and here I go off message, I think it sounds kind of gross. Of course I am hugely pleased to be having a baby, but I'm not the world's most tactile person, and I think I have quite a strong sense of it being 'my' body, and possibly DH's if he's good. I have nice tits, well I think so anyway, and I actually quite like them being sex objects (so now I've offended the strong feminists too), so I'm a bit about the change of function. And the idea of leaking milk everywhere and smelling slightly of it (friends who breast feed definitely do!) is a bit off-putting.

So in conclusion, definitely planning to, but I can understand those who are a bit squeamish about it as I am too!

bf can be incredibly difficult in the first few months, and in that time in my opinion ff is a lot easier, and it takes real determination and to actually want to bf and that being important to you for some mothers to get through those first few months, it can be incredibly irritating and uncomfortable, not just not latching on etc, but constantly sticky and wet, always wearing bra etc etc, as the baby is new to bf aswell they take longer to latch on at first, have to get out of bed and turn light on, sit up and spend ages trying to get baby to latch on, it can seem a lot easier to just stick a bottle in their mouths.

however after that time it becomes a lot easier then ff, as no sterilising making up feeds etc etc.

this is my experieence

Hi. This divides opinion but advice is to BF until at least 6 months, longer if you can/want to. I BF for a year, DS nevre had a bottle and it was the easiest, most convenient thing for us. However, it is really hard in the early days - it does hurt and it is difficult and you do need to be well read up on the benefits and techniques. I think it is unhelpful when HCPs and other advocates say ;it doesn't/shouldn't hurt/its easy etc' as if you have unrealistic expectations you are more likely to give up.

Your friends sound immature and uneducated on the topic, just educate yourself and don't worry too much about them. There is a BF/FF section on Mumsnet which you may find helpful. Good Luck

"Normal" time to carry on
depends on your situation, some of my friends were going back to work at 6 months so started mix feeding from 4ish months with a view to ff from starting work
For others the bf tailed off a few months after the baby started on solids
One of my friends bf until 18 months (not counting MNers in this)
I'm the only perso I know (exc MNers) to feed past this
MNers seem to bf for longer it seems

I am worried that I smell slightly of milk! Maybe I need some stronger perfume

If you do want to stop a year is a good cut off as they can have cows milk from then and should be eating lots.
However, the WHO and NHS advice is to feed to at least 2 years and beyond

FeralGirlCambs I see why you find it slightly icky - I think I will find it hard to not have "sexy" boobs too - DP will find it harder!! lol

To me it does seem like the most natural thing to do...

To add, I'm not sure there's a 'normal' amount of time to carry on for, I wouldn't plan it, just see how it goes.

I was only planning to feed DS to 6 months but am now thinking of 9 months as then I'll be going back to work and at the moment I don't plan to carry on when I'm working. Just see how it goes.

Bottlefeeding is the cultural norm. A lot of people prefer bottlefeeding just because you get simple instructions on the tin in black and white; it's more of an unknown quantity with breastfeeding about what to do and how to do it; becoming a parent is hard enough without unknown learning curves.

Most people who breastfeed at all only do it for 3-4 months, btw. Beyond that and you start getting labeled as "weird" (by some).

I, btw, am very "weird"... I never bottlefed at all and breastfed until they were nearly 2yo.

redandyellowandpinkandgreen I didn't mean you!! I'm sure you smell lovely.

IMHO, everyone should give bf a go (not least because it's free, as you say OP!) but then not everyone is lucky enough to have the moral support and determination needed to push through the first days/weeks when bf can be very painful and difficult.

I can well imagine that if someone were to have a difficult or long labour/birth (I got off lightly last time) then it would be a lot more difficult. Also there can be issues like inverted nipples which make it even more painful. I have a friend who was a strong bf advocate and bf her first two DS's but was not able to bf her DS3 for various reasons.

I don't know anyone in the UK who didn't at least give it a try. I do know a few people in the US who went straight to the bottle/ff. Over there I think it has something to do with the speed with which mothers are expected to return to work after maternity leave - easier not to let the milk supply start much rather than start and then have to stop abruptly a few weeks later.

I bf DD for 14 months, although the last 6 months of that were mixed feeding after she started nursery and my milk supply started to slow down. Originally I had no idea I would carry on that long, but she loved it, so we kept going.

The main negative of bf for me was the total dependence on me for feeds until we started weaning. DD was a very "sucky" baby, refused the bottle (expressed and formula milk) and used me as a dummy. It made being away from her for the first 6 months almost impossible, and I did get resentful about it.

This time around I hope to bf for as long as I can, but also to give the new baby a bottle of expressed milk a day so that DH and DD can be involved and I can have a little bit more independence.

Good luck OP!

I think that BF is seen less than bottle feeding as it's more discrete and most of the time you would think that mum was just cuddling baby.

I don't think i smelled of milk... but then I changed my breastpads after most feeds (I used washable breastpads FWIW - much better and less smelly than disposables)

In terms of duration I was definitely weird in bfing until DS was 19 months. But over time our BFing changed. At the beginning it was every 2 hours with one gap... i.e. 11 feeds a day. DS then self-weaned during the day at 11 months (v. handy for returning to work). He was then only really having a bedtime/night time feed by the time we stopped.

Hope that helps

I'm still bfing my 18mo daughter. I bfed my son for only 4 months.

I found the long term breastfeeding to be much easier and more fun. No faffing around with kettles, bottles, teats, warmers, sterilisers etc. And she still enjoys her feeds which helps if she gets constipation / doesn't eat or drink so much for a few days / needs warming up after a swim / wants comfort after an injection or fall / is bored on a long car journey etc etc.

A real godsend.

No-one should feel pressure to breastfeed or not to. And some women get genuine problems so can't. But I do wish that more people would try it for a bit longer. They might love it.

My only advice is to exclusively breastfeed for the first few weeks. It helps establish a good supply and helps baby to develop a solid latch. After that express or mix feed or carry on just breastfeeding (the easiest option ime).

I don't know anyone who planned not to bf. Other than people who had a bad experience first time round and didn't want to try all over again.

I don't think there is a 'normal' cut off point, just what feels right for you and what the baby wants (some babies don't want to take a bottle, for example, so it's up to you whether you want to battle it or wait till they drink milk from a cup). Some people stop when they want to ttc again (for one person I know this was 6 months!). I fed my second lot till they were 20 months.

Most of my friends and me breast fed for the first year. This was because it was the easiest thing to do. I never had any problems n feeding yet I had a straight forward birth. My friends who also successfully fed, had other exp. One had a difficultly due to her birth but was determined and it paid off, another had a planned section and it was fine.

However, please don't put lots of pressure on your self. The more relaxed you are the easier it is. Plus there's loads of support on the breast feeding pages x

I know a few people who didn't even try it as an option, old and young and just wondered why they wouldn't even try it!

I find breastfeeding incredibly bizarre (I make her food with my body?!?!?!) and I've never felt more mammalian. :D

But I love it, and when I was struggling and had to mix feed, I was utterly determined to get things going well. And I did! It really helped to have some pro-breastfeeding people around me.

InvaderZim - that's a nice change!

Hi jazz, I think it is possibly the best thing you can do for your baby. The immunity and vitamins they receive from it are far too important. Admittedly I had no trouble breastfeeding, one of the lucky ones I guess although it didn't go smoothly to start with, my DD wasn't latching on at all, breasts were getting engorged, she was losing weight and I had a lot of pressure from some of the midwives to bottle feed as a result. It made me feel pretty down as I really wanted to give her the best start in life. Needless to say I perservered and she started to latch on. Yes it was pretty hard in the beginning and very stressful esp with the hormones all over the place after the birth and it would have been so easy to give up. I was even encouraged by MIL who didn't breastfeed hers either coz it was too hard apparently but I stayed strong and feel I did the right thing.
If there is a medical reason why a woman can't breastfeed I believe all women should, it's our duty to our baby to do the best thing by them! I heard so many times women choosing the bottle because babies last longer between feeds and sleep longer at night, it makes me angry to see mothers would put their needs before their newborn's! Well done for wanting to give it a go. Go for it! If not going smoothly there are so many support groups out there nowadays you can call for help. Don't listen to anyone, do what you think is best for your baby!

I breastfed for 2 yrs, 8 months. Only weaned due to pregnancy. Worked great for us but I didn't have any friends who made it this far! After first year becomes a before bed/waking up comfort thing that is very special. I was fortunate in that I never leaked/had mastitis or any nasties. Was difficult initially before latch was established but midwifes were great and used to come round every day to help get it established.

I planned to breastfeed but was worried because I have really sensitive nipples and don't like them being touched even by DH . But that didn't turn out to be a problem, although I did have some pain at first it wasn't really related to them being sensitive, just that bf'ing often hurts at first, even if the latch is right.

I ended up bf'ing for two years, there were ups and downs but overall it's one of the best things I did with DD as a baby and young toddler. Currently pregnant with DC2 and hoping that bf'ing goes as well this time round. I will definitely miss it after that.

I never thought of bottle feeding with my DD, I went in very unprepared and the pain was unbearable, I was struggling before I was discharged from hospital but was never given any guidance. I contacted support groups but they were part-time and I never got an answer. I got books as I was determined not to fail. My DD lost a significant amount of weight (she was only a small birth weight to start with), Whilst my midwife encouraged me to continue she didn't really offer any guidance apart from I will know when she latches right, this obviously never happened as I never got that knowing feeling. The HV was to same telling me to keep at it I was doing great, yet telling me that DD's weight was dropping off the scale. Long story short I ended up with PND and gave my situation a lot of thought and decided to stop breastfeeding as I was and still am certain that it contributed strongly to my PND.

When I fell pregnant with DS I fully intended to try again but after a complicated birth ending in an EMCS under GA I decided to bottlefeed.

For me yes I agree breast is best and none of my choices were taken lightly and yes whilst I did take myself into consideration this was not my sole reasons for stopping and not starting.

I am pregnant again and I will be keeping an open mind, I don't want to make any decisions about feeding until ater the safe arrival of my baby. While I regret not breastfeeding my DS if I could turn back the clock I still think my decision was right for me after the birth.

Sorry for waffle just wanted to say longly I know, that sometimes it isn't a simple best or not best, I am sure most people who choose not to breastfeed do so after long hard consideration and it isn't always just a simple decision.

Nicely worded post Jazz, very diplomatic!
I intended to bf for 6 months, came very close to stopping while still in hospital but with the help of expressing was able to get back on track. Fed for 2 years, when DS had had enough! By the way when people say they feed till 2 or whenever, they usually mean that the LO drinks other things as well after 1, but continues to have some bm. Otherwise we'd never get back to work!

The recommendation is to breastfeed for 12 months really, as if you stop before 12 months you have to use a breastmilk substitute (formula) - 6 months is just for exclusive breastfeeding.

I though the WHO still recommends bf for 2 years? Agree with you about the "follow-on" formula.