3yr 5m boy not ready

[Milkand2sugarsplease]

Hi all,

DS is just not ready to PT but I know he needs to train before we get to school - which seems both ages off and right around the corner.

He has no idea he's wee'd. He has started noticing when he needs to poo as in we'll notice after he's done it that he's taken himself off somewhere (not always) or he might tell us he's poo'd (not always).

His communication is slightly behind although hopefully catching up now so that's not helped matters either.

I always make sure the potty is available and I always ask if he wants to use it - both when I go to the loo and when I change his nappy but he's never yet done anything on it.

Hates not being dressed so we've not really been able to just try nappy off time to see what happens.

I've always been a firm believer that when they're ready it's not really training but what do you do when they're just not ready? DS1 was dry at 2.5 but his communication was far better and he decided he wanted pants on one day and never looked back.

I could try just putting him in pants one day to see what happens but I'm as confident as I can be that it will just be a disaster of wet clothes and furniture etc - should I try and give him a nudge? Or leave it longer and give him more time.

The SALT wasn't overly concerned that he wasn't dry when she assessed him. I guess I just thought we'd be further along than we are by now....

Communication delay wouldn't necessarily correlate with delayed potty training.

All the usual advice:
Take him, don't ask
Put him in pants (or training pants, not pull ups)
Rewards (stickers to decorate the potty)

ERIC has great resources.

And remember it takes children an average of 6 months to potty train. Very few are dry in days.

I think the emotional side of potty training is often under played. You're transferring responsibility for managing a key bodily function to your child. It's an important stage in growing up.

I don't think you're understanding what potty training means OP.

It isn't about asking a child whether they would like the potty and the child (who is being put in a position of making this decision) then deciding no mummy and daddy will clean my mess. That is not "potty training".

Potty training is identifying a weekend or a few days, clearing it off car journeys and guests and outings and informing your child that the nappies have gone now and being armed with profuse volumes of cleaning products, patience and time and hard floors.

I am not sure what you are expecting out of potty training when you say you know there will be a mess. Quite. Of course. He will wee and poo himself and "feel" the sensations of that on his bare skin, with no nappy - and he will understand that the better option now is to use the potty.

Asking him if he would like the potty whilst he has nappies on is pointless

DD1 wasn't aware of what it felt like to need a pee as far as I'm aware when she started potty training. She very quickly learned though after the first few floor wees! Honestly she

Sorry got excited too soon! Meant to say that honestly she didn't really show much interest in it generally before we started but we just stayed in for a few days and she got it very quickly. Once they start feeling the sensation of being wet and the sensory thing of wee trickling down their legs, they often get it quite quickly!