Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki

[QueenBMum]

Hi there,
My little boy is 2 years and 2 months old and we are starting potty training on Friday. I've read the oh crap! Potty training book by Jamie Glowacki so going with that way of doing it.

Anyone doing it this way and can send me some positive stories?

My little boy is on movicol as he has been holding his poops. He's also very stubborn and not at all pleased with any sort of change. I'm committed to potty training come he'll or high water but it would be nice to have some support on this journey.

I don't want to tell my family members as this can get very competitive (sister in law has a boy of similar age and every time we talk of our boy it's very much "anything he can do I can do better" attitude).

@potofmemories where is this research please? I’m aware there are paeds whose personal recommendation is to wait, but the evidence I’m aware of shows there is no negative reason to train later outside of the fact that earlier training takes longer

”The few scientific studies of infant toilet training have reported no negative side effects (Ball 1971; Cederblad 1970; Smeets et al 1985). These studies focused only on basic skills and did not track children over the long-term. But the cross-cultural evidence suggests that long-term toilet training problems are rare (Ainsworth 1967; deVries and deVries 1977).
The evidence for toddler training tells a similar tale. Earlier training is not associated with behavioral problems.
An American study tracked over 400 children to learn what, if any, effects timing has on toilet training success (Blum et al 2003)” ... ”The earlier starters were no more likely than later starters to experience constipation, stool toileting refusal, stool withholding, or hiding from parents (Blum et al 2003).”

And

*”Delayed training might put kids at higher risk for developing bladder problems

A case control study interviewed the parents of older kids (aged 4 – 12) who had been diagnosed with daytime incontinence (Barone et al 2009). These kids still had trouble suppressing the urge to urinate. Was there anything in their toilet training history that stood out?

When the kids were compared with a control group, researchers found that the incontinent kids were more likely to have begun toileting training after 32 months.

Previous studies have also reported links between late training and bladder trouble.

Belgian researchers interviewed the parents of kids in grade school and middle school (Bakker et al 2002a, Bakker et al 2002b).

They found that school-age kids with bladder problemslike daytime accidents, bedwetting, and recurrent urinary tract infectionswere more likely to have started toilet training at a later age.”*

Pot then why don't we have tonnes of adults with toileting issues?! Oh wait we don't. We train later now mainly for societal reasons. Mums aren't at home full time to do it. My 17 month old is doing most poos on the potty. MIL n and mum encouraged him from 9 months and it's been so useful.

OP best of luck.

DS is 3 and has totally mastered wees and has occasionally woken up dry too but will not sit on a potty or toilet for anything. He does not respond to bribes or rewards at all. Did any of you find this? I haven’t read Oh Crap but it’s been recommended lots, would it help me here?

Pot then why don't we have tonnes of adults with toileting issues?!

We actually do - many people suffer chronic constipation long into adulthood due to issues stemming from potty training.

I'm not just prattling bollocks here, this is what research has proven.

Dd is 2.4 and trained this week. It's all gone really smoothly, she is great at telling me, but this week her poos are very hard, so I do agree it make them more likely to withhold poo during training. Do be careful with that if you already have constipation issues and back off of you see the constipation getting worse.

Show us the research then?
I have never met an adult with this issue
Ever.

Above a poster has quoted research more in tune with my thinking.

Here is a good article

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1424826

You are getting very defensive. I have not said there is anything wrong with potty training early, provided the child is ready. Your child might be ready at 12 months - fine. Mine might be ready at 3 - also fine. My point is there is no blanket correct age.

As for you've never met an adult with this issue, unless you're familiar with the toileting habits of every adult you've ever met, I can't see how you'd know.

Anyone who has actually read and followed the Oh Crap method will know that the book puts more emphasis on being capable than being ready. I'm sure op knows whether her daughter is capable or not. Ds pooped daily in nappies, he goes once every 2 or 3 days now. Not due to constipation, it's just how he is, and how I am too.

're night training. I'm not so sure about this. Ds was doing and leaking nappies regularly (2 or 3 times a week) pre potty training. 4 days in and he was dry at night with NO help from me. I left it a few more weeks, we had one wet nappy I 4 weeks and he was waking in the morning requesting a wee.

@potofmemories

Defensive perhaps because this comment Actually it's backed up by clear research showing that forcing children to potty train before they are ready can lead to long term issues.
It's not some airy fairy modern parenting "concept", it's scientifically backed NHS advice. suggested anybody forcing children to potty train before they were ready insinuates that the people on this page who trained earlier were a)ignoring NHS advice and b)potentially setting their kids up for issues later in life

You have not provided any evidence, you’ve provided an article - the opinion of one doctor. There is no NHS advice to say what you suggest (because the evidence isn’t as you stated). People will get defensive when your comments are potentially critical, inflammatory and then not backed up

insinuates that the people on this page who trained earlier were a)ignoring NHS advice and b)potentially setting their kids up for issues later in life

That's not what I meant at all.

I have said several times kids are ready at different times. If your kid was ready at 8 months, you haven't forced them into it, have you?

Going to ignore the argument about forcing potty training too early... Bit off topic no?

Op we've just started today, ds is definitely capable but he's bloody resisting already 🙈 first wee was in the potty and he was very pleased with himself, and is now going out of his way to hide and pee on the floor 😒 good job we're having a garden day... I keep reminding him we don't pee on the floor we pee on the potty.
Definitely going to need a large glass of something as soon as he's gone to bed!!

I'm not surprised that people are passionate about their views on potty training. Whatever way you do it and whatever age you do it, it's hard work and a HUGE milestone for your child to achieve. When they do achieve it, if you had a positive experience you will back whatever age and method you use. If it was a blown out nightmare you'll have regrets and your views will be based on that.

Coming back to the book (which if you haven't read I'm unsure if you can understand the views of those who have) the author talks about the child being "capable" rather than "ready". This makes more sense to me. The reason this makes more sense to me is my son, God love him, only knows the word "no". If I left it to him he'd spend his day naked in a pile of his own shit and wee fasting.

So I've finished day 3 and I cannot recommend this book enough. It's working for us and the information and advice on the book is spot on.

As for his movicol issue. The consultant pediatrian diagnosed him with constipation as soon as we walked through the door. Apparently 7 out of 10 children have this problem standard course of treatment is movicol. Safe to say I'm not convinced.

Anyway he's had two poos in 3 days and there has been a small positive change since potty training. Hoping as he gets used to the potty more he will make further progress on his poo issues. The book has a whole chapter on poo which is very interesting. I don't agree that of your child can only do wee's in the potty and not poo's that your child isn't ready and you should stop.

The worst thing for any child is inconsistency so stop and starting potty training will only make getting to the end result which is continence harder.

Finally, sorry for the long post, the author of the book reminds us that when potty training we are not teaching our children to wee or poo. They know how to do this. Potty training is about teaching children where to put their waste which is a "socialised" activity. We need to be patient as our children go on their own learning curb (short or long) to get there.

Sending big love!

Great post Queen.

I do think people see a potty training book and assume it's all about forcing children to sit there forcing wee out. I really would recommend people read it - it's about learning the cues kids are already giving and using those to teach them where to wee and poo, as Queen says. It's not a regimented routine, it was really is about respecting and trusting your child.

Hope things continue well for you. It sounds like a great start!

Queen you sound like a fabulous mum. I totally agree with capable being important.

Might need to give this book a read.

I've ordered the book today on the back of this thread! Ds is nearly three and understands the whole concept of the potty, has done a few wees and poos on it here and there but seemingly can't be arsed... he asks for a nappy and says he doesn't want to go to the 'little toilet' and I've been reluctant to pressure him, so we've made no progress really. I'm going to read the book and try to start over. He's definitely capable.

FWiW I left potty training till son was almost 3 - for a few reasons - we went straight to toilet seat at that stage and he was sorted in a week - week and poos.

Previously Hadn't shown any interest in the potty. Hated sitting on their even clothed. And didn't like losing nappy. So glad we resisted all family advice to do it earlier

mister At 3 he possibly doesn't need the potty of he's calling it the little toilet. He could go straight for the normal toilet with a seat insert if that would work at home.

Glad it's going well for you op, we had a rocky start but definitely saw progress toward the end of the day! Ds send to need a gentle 'theres your potty, remember to use it if you need to go' approach and thankfully has a very clear signal! No poo today (well there was, but at 5 am in his nappy!) So we will see what happens tomorrow...

I've been using the oh crap method with my 22 month old twin girls. Been going for three weeks now. Twin 1 is great. No accidents and feel confident she has it. Twin 2 started out well telling me she needed a wee but this last week it's all gone wrong. I've tried going back to bare bottom, watching her cues etc but I'll take her to the potty she'll sit for ages, nothing comes out then 5 mins later she'll do a big wee on the floor. I thought it was a phase but now I'm not sure what to do next. Any ideas?

@ForEverlong what came first though the chicken or the egg? Theyaybhave been trainedatwr because of more difficulty training them and actially had more bladder issues when little? Just a thought.

May have been trained later

You can train early or late, but the downside to training late is it will sometimes be harder work to unlearn the original behaviour because it has gone on for longer (if you have any other habits like nail biting you will understand haha). We know that most toddlers bladders etc have developed from 18 months but many aren’t given the opportunity to learn the social way of using a toilet until we train them and in today’s modern nappy society that is often later, plenty of kids are capable of learning earlier, the term readiness is just not relevant our child did not show a single sign of readiness. We give toddlers opportunities to learn other skills earlier like letting them eat with cutlery, I just don’t think readiness comes into it, it’s about opportunity to learn. Full disclosure I did train early at 19months, and I did use a schedule & I did praise and reward in a way that reinforced the behaviour (which eventually led to a change in the brain so that it became their new behaviour for any of you that have studied child psychology), training went just fine but it was broken down very clearly into an instructional process and made as low pressure as possible. I think most of history would suggest that early training is just as fine because that’s how it happened before modern nappies, I’m sure potty training was much lower pressure historically though & maybe it’s the high pressure parent comparisons that people get sucked into that can effect children negatively more than what age you did it.

You make comparisons to teaching potty training to learning other behaviours, but then make precisely the point that they are actually unlearning. This is actually quite a task for little ones. It is great that you managed to train at 18 months, but it is not the same for every toddler. I know someone who trained very early butvhas been having a significant amount of accidents since...is now nearly 4. So whether she was/I'd potty trained is questionable. My little one was trained at 2 years and 9 months-- day and night. And very few accidents since. In a year he has had about ten accidents. He wasn't ready to train when we started, he had absolutely no idea and he was weeing every twenty mins so it was an impossible task. There is no right time to train, just a right time for that particular child. People were eager to train earlier in the past because of the mess and inconvenience of terry nappies.