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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

It's just not working - my fault. Would no nappies at all work?

41 replies

DollarDollarBills · 06/01/2014 08:40

I posted in behaviour as well but we've been potty training 2 yo for about 2 months now and although she's done some wees in the toilet at nursery she never has at home, and has now started pooing in the bath.

It's my fault as I've been so overwhelmed with having 4 month old ds as well that I've not been taking her to the toilet every 30mins like nursery do and when she's in pull ups she just uses them like nappies.

I do ask her if she needs the toilet throughout the day though and always met with a no, unless she just wants to sit on it for fun.

I'm thinking of today just taking her out of nappies completely with the exception of bedtime and naptime and just putting her in underpants and taking her to the toilet every 30 mins.

What do you think?

OP posts:

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ABitterPIL · 06/01/2014 09:43

Dd wouldnt look at a toilet till well past 3! She is now 4 and a half and is dry day and night and has been for some time. I am a great advocate of not forcing these things

wigglybeezer · 06/01/2014 09:48

My lot were potty trained at just two, BUT,

I used cloth nappies so they were used to feeling soggy after a wee.
It was the summer.
They all seem to have a large bladder capacity.

If I were you I would let nursery carry on if they want to but don't bother at home, even toddlers understand about different routines in different places.

You could try washable training pants, less wasteful than pull ups, more feeling of wetness etc. but help reduce mess.

Potty training was the only thing DS1 has been advanced at (enduring high school exams here), shame he can't put it on his CV!

PourquoiPas · 06/01/2014 10:06

If you've been training for 2 months and she's never weed on the toilet then she clearly isn't ready. Put her back in nappies and leave it until she shows you she is both physically and mentally ready to train.

2.1 is teeny, I don't know any child who was successfully potty trained at the parents instigation at that age. Ignore your nursery, they are talking bollocks.

Taking a child to the toilet every 30 minutes is not potty training, it is catching accidents early.

curlew · 06/01/2014 10:22

When I'm world dictator I'm going to ban the expression "toilet training". You don't train them to walk or to talk- it just happens. It's a developmental stage. So is coming out of nappies.

AntoinetteCosway · 06/01/2014 10:35

Sounds like she's just not ready. DD is 2.3 and none of her friends are potty trained yet!

Netguru · 06/01/2014 10:55

Sitting them in a toilet every 30
Mins is not training - it's catching. You have to wait until they produce some hormone which let's them know they need to go. At 2.1 she is not ready and is proving it by making no progress in 2 months.

Mine were 2.6, 2.9 and 2.11 respectively. Wait until the summer. Too much stress for you and her to continue.

Original poster

DollarDollarBills · 06/01/2014 13:14

Thank you everyone. I tried all morning toilet every 30 mins just seemed like a waste of time and barely interacted with my baby all morning. Toddler sat on toilet happily looked at phone etc but didn't wee. Then weed on the living room floor.

I think you're right she's going back in nappies and ill try again in a few months maybe 2.5?

OP posts:

Original poster

DollarDollarBills · 06/01/2014 13:16

I feel like a failure when people say "oh isn't so and so clever for being potty trained at 2" makes me feel as if they're implying dd isn't clever for still using nappies. It's my own issues.

OP posts:

georgedawes · 06/01/2014 15:10

Being potty trained at 2 is not a sign of intelligence! You're putting too much pressure on yourself.

I'd just wait til she shows you signs of being ready rather than an arbitrary age. It'll all be fine, she won't be heading off to uni in nappies!

kateyfer · 06/01/2014 16:17

Spend some time asking what it feels like to her when she needs to do a wee(nappy or on potty) as with my dd1 she needed to understand that the feeling of lots of water sloshing around down there meant she needed to do a wee.

At 2.1 though, your dd is still quite young and might not yet recognise the sensation. I'd try again at Easter when both children are a little older. Shame on your dd's nursery as well for putting pressure on your dd and you to rush things through.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 07/01/2014 18:34

Meh. Ignore people who try and do comparisons, it's not helpful. FWIW DS1 was 2y7mth, DS2 was 2y11mth and DD was 2y1mth (but she's weird and just decided to start using the potty after a bath, I wouldn't have tried that early!) All different ages, all did it in their own time.

ShoeWhore · 07/01/2014 18:39

Good plan OP. The way I see it you have 2 choices: you try and do it early and it's tons of work and stressful for you both; OR you leave it until she's ready (might be 6 months, might be less, might be longer) and it'll be a breeze.

My 3 were all nearer (or past) 3.

Anja1Cam · 07/01/2014 18:52

Mine were about 2.6 at least. There are 'signs' that they might be ready, including telling you they just did something in the nappy or asking to be changed. Have a look, probably even on MN, you should find some pointers. Sitting on the toilettoilet or potty is great, but more to get them used to the idea, you start that quite some time before you actually expect them to perform. I waited quite late and then we got it over in a week. Except for DD2 I had the time booked off work and then she decided she was going to wear her'big girl pants' and no more nappies right away so I had to deliver her to nursery and let them get on with it... And then we still had the week to'consolidate' what she had started. But she was was definitely 2.6

ChilliQueen · 07/01/2014 18:52

Mine was almost 4!!!! Refused point blank before. Then did days and nights in the space of a few days. No accidents since. Wait until you're all ready. Far easier, and much less stressful all round. (Though saying that I did have numerous stressful attempts before this final easy final attempt.) Girls are usually quicker than boys. People/friends/nursery give far too much pressure to toilet train.

PourquoiPas · 10/01/2014 14:52

Ignore nut ties trying to make comparisons, DS was relatively early ( I think about 2.2) but you know what? All his friends are now potty trained at 4. You would have no idea which child was trained when they were 2.2 and which was 3.11.

Wait until she can tell you when she has done a wee, that is to say when she is both physically capable of knowing when she needs a wee and mentally ready to discuss it with you.

That's not to say don't start laying some groundwork with buying some amazing pants with whatever character on with her and putting them in the drawer "until she is a big girl and wants to wear them" or having a potty by the loo to have a go on or pointing out an older friend X who is a really clever big girl and does all her wees on the loo etc etc.

Flibbertyjibbet · 10/01/2014 15:01

I went straight to pants BUT as someone else has mentioned, mine were cloth nappied so were used to feeling wet on a wee, and also it was spring each time so warmer weather and they could go out in the yard to play etc (and we stayed in the kitchen most of the time as it has a tiled floor! - very large room though).
They were 2.2 and 1.10 but both sorted in a few days. Both boys so I don't believe that thing of girls being ready younger.

I remember that we knew ds2 was ready when he kept trying to put ds1's pants on over his nappy and not wanting to wear nappies at all.

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