Still struggling a year after traumatic birth with ongoing pelvic symptoms - please give me hope or advice?

[CMRS]

Hi all, I’m looking for other people’s experiences in the hopes of some reassurance…

I had a baby a year ago on Monday, and I can’t believe I still am not ok... I had a long induced labour with two hours pushing that resulted in forceps, episiotomy and third degree tear. I couldn’t sit or walk for months. A year on, I still have pain and a heavy feeling in my vagina which impacts my everyday life.

Finally found a private gyno that figured out I have nerve damage in my tear site (hence the persistent pain) and is treating me for it with amitriptyline - she thinks a three month course will fix it, so fingers crossed for this part…

For the heavy/draggy feeling in my vagina, I have been seen by two gynos and a physio who say I don’t have a “significant prolapse”, whatever that means. I have been told I have some sagging of my urethra and rectum into the vagina but the gyno said it’s just a lax vagina from childbirth and not an actual prolapse, that it just looks like someone who gave birth vaginally. I have been doing kegels and specific physio exercises, but whilst the feeling is better it’s very much still there. I am just loosing hope that I’ll ever be ok, that I’ll ever go for a walk, pick up my daughter or even go about my day and not notice it :( and I don’t understand why it still feels so bad it technically it’s not that bad.

Please give me hope? Advice on things you did to improve if this happened to you?

If you read all of this - thank you!

No advice really from me sorry O, hopefully someone will be along soon who knows more

Hi OP, sorry you are experiencing this. Nobody warns you about this sort of thing when having a baby. I had my first in 2020 and had significant damage as the result of a forcep delivery and episiotomy. I also had difficulty with the placenta and then excessive bleeding so I was stitched up very quickly and in an absolute mess. It was my worst nightmare and I felt less than a women afterwards if I’m honest. Thankfully I got referred to a wonderful consultant and physio. I had corrective surgery at 9 months postpartum and consistently did the physio. Immediately after survey I felt better, even recovering from the operation. I could just tell I was back to how I should be and was more comfortable straight away. I healed in a couple of days and was back to normal life in a few weeks. I am not saying surgery is the answer for everyone but finding a medical professional who really listens is so if you feel like you are not be heard keep going. I spoke to three female doctors before I got to the consultant who fixed everything.

Thank you for your answer @OlivejuiceU2. I’ve seen a GP, NHS physio, two private gynos and a physio and they all say I’ve been stitched up ok, and was also told I don’t have a ‘significant prolapse’ that needs correcting, so it doesn’t seem that I need surgery.

I guess I need to do things one step at a time so I’m going to see if the tablets fix the pain first. If hopefully they do, then I can try the kegel8 machine my physio recommended (too painful to insert at the moment) and if that still doesn’t reduce my symptoms then perhaps I am going to try and get referred for a pessary (again couldn’t use one right now).

I’m just so disheartened, because on the face of it it seems like I’m ok (tear healed, no prolapse, etc) but I feel like my life is ruined :( the pain and heaviness symptoms are really impacting my life, to the point where I can’t seem take joy in most things because I am constantly uncomfortable whatever I do…