Women's bodies an afterthought during childbirth?

[ShrimpingViolet]

I posted this in chat yesterday but in retrospect it was probably the wrong place. Long time user, recently name changed.

Wondered what the thoughts of MN are on maternal care. My DD was born by c section earlier this year - she was a huge baby, back to back, induction failed to progress. I requested the section after stalling at 5cm and faced a huge battle with consultants. Now, I understand the NHS is under pressure to keep the number of sections down for many good reasons.

But my baby was too big to come out and I was told later it would have ended in an emergency section, possibly after failed forceps delivery which could have left me with a severe tear and lasting damage, not to mention the risk to DD.

I was made to feel stupid for asking for the section, like I was making a fuss and had just 'chickened out' of natural labour.

I've since read countless threads on here from woman who have been left with horrendous injuries and offered very little support - many of which could seemingly have been avoided if more attention had been paid to their concerns and frankly, their bodies.

It makes me angry that so many mothers have been treated this way and left to then get on with the gruelling process of taking care of a newborn.

I'm sure not all hospitals are like this and nor are all aspects of care - I found the midwives who looked after me incredible.

But far too often it seems women are ignored and treated almost as an afterthought in the process of having a baby.

Sorry for the long post - it's an issue that's been on my mind and wanted to hear others' views. I'm also due a debrief with the hospital soon.

I was in for six nights afterwards but I must admit, they were very supportive - I was moved to a private room and they even took DS off to the nurses station a couple of times so I could sleep. But that was because I was seriously mental.

@Starlings did you ever have a debrief or not? I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience.

Yes this, and even worse sometimes life changing/limiting injury to DC. I know of a few dc that, had they intervened with a c section sooner there would have been a far better outcome. I had both dc abroad.. planned sections which likely would not have been planned sections in the UK but the consultants were sure was the safest option. Women aren't left to labour for days to then end in emc anyway once they are truly exhausted. Something I see again and again with friends and family. Intervention is far quicker. Yes they are under pressure to get c section numbers down which they largely ignore, their rates of infant death and injury during birth are far less as a result as well as the obvious benefit for the women not having to endure the days of labour only to end in what is often inevitable cs

That's interesting @happycamper11, are you able to say what country?

I'm glad im not the only one, my waters broke 2 weeks early hospital said to come down, this was at 4 am didn't give birth until just before 1am the next day two hours before I gave birth I said something was wrong he didn't seem to be moving down like he had been and was getting pain on one side of my pelvis and said my contractions weren't as strong, ( midwife had changed half an hour after I said these things) so said again midwife role me it was fine and keep pushing, I said I can't she called me ridiculous, but she'd get the consultant to check, consultant said surgery now as he's shoulder is stuck on my pelvis Where'd he over rotated. The midwife panicked then in surgery they all seem panicked but I don't know what's going on ( first time mum) anaesthetist had to redo the drip in my hand as midwife had tissued it, now can't fault the surgery team they were ace, had a mid cavity forceps delivery which ended with me haemorrhaging badly and getting 47 stitches baby only having an AGPAR score of 4 but he did go up to 10 within 10 minutes. Had to go to high dependency for first night where I had a nurse watching me from the end of my bed constantly then went to maternity ward as no private rooms available, ( fine I know there's people that have worse) I was in a lot of pain afterwards and they just keep saying it's normal. Was in hospital for 3 nights and discharged myself after that as I was sick of people waking me up every hour of the night I was exhausted and it felt like they didn't want me to seleep at all so had enough, could hardly walk out as so lightheaded. Took me 6 weeks to be able to walk normally I kept saying I think something's wrong but no one listened had to drag my right leg up after me to walk up stairs etc I think it took 12 weeks to be able to not have to take any pain killers as the pain was unbearable. Didn't get told any care of the stitches other then to keep them clean and dry only when I spoke to my friend she told me all the tricks to make things slightly more bearable. 6 months on now Im still having iron tablets as super anaemic, I'm still getting sharp shooting pains in my groin and my right butt cheek feels like theres a massive bruised lump on it, been to physio ( which I asked for) had a scoliosis of my spine ( never had that before childirth) and my sacrum wasn't sitting in the right place but on one seems to be listening about the pain in my groin? They keep just saying it's normal after childbirth but it keeps me awake at night and the pain takes my breath away sometimes.
I see people are saying they had debriefs? I never had one? Should I have done? I feel very alone with it all.

I see people are saying they had debriefs? I never had one? Should I have done? I feel very alone with it all.

I found mine fairly helpful, there were 81 hours from my waters breaking to dc1 being delivered by emcs and I had very few memories so it did fill in the blanks. Ask your health visitor or your GP about how you would access the service. I got mine by luck really, the midwife who came out to the house was horrified by the treatment I received and gave me a feed back form. I filled it in when I felt able which was about six months later and put my name/phone number on it without thinking. Got a phone call from the hospital asking if I wanted to come in and go over my notes.

I had a failed mid cavity forceps attempt before my emcs and the brusing/pain from that hurt more than from the section wound. Could you go back to physio or what about talking to an osteopath? Thanks to dc1's position and possibly the long but futile pushing/failed forceps, I have sciatic issues especially when I over exercise and the pain is hell. He's 4 and a half now and it is better, possibly because I'm more careful with how I do things/what I do. I did find pilates helped a lot but I took it very carefully.

Pain which takes your breath away shouldn't be classed as "normal". Is it worth trying another GP?

That sounds awful @Monsteres and as @Dinosauratemydaffodils says I think it would be worth seeking a debrief.

Also go back to your GP and insist you're given a proper examination - it's a disgrace that so many women are left in pain and functioning nowhere near normal and are just expected to get on with it.

Yes I agree OP. Having recently had a traumatic birth, I’ve noticed it’s implicit in a lot of the language used to discuss childbirth, like ‘A healthy baby is all that matters’, ‘your lovely baby makes it all worth it’, and ‘you’ll forget all about it and go on to have another!’

Poppyfr33

^^

Agreed. Post natal care was better 40 years ago.

Agree also about men I.E. No way on this earth would they be expected to look after a newborn whilst also recovering from birth.

Same attitude with post natal birth injuries : 'oh, your dick's dropping off? You'll be fine, off you pop, now'. But 3rd degree tears in women, incontinence, prolapses etc etc are acceptable?

I gave birth via section in Canada to both my kids and I had a great experience. First was an EMCS (breech) , second was ELCS. Doctor didn't bat an eyelid - they offered me a section, I took it. As soon as I was pregnant with my second I was asked what I wanted - told them another section, fine, they said.

Some really bad experiences on here

I had an awful birth, I developed pre eclampsia, I had been to the midwife on the monday & had a fall in the surgery, I broke all the fingers on my right hand. By the friday I looked like the Michelin man, I had blown up with water & my blood pressure was very high, I was admitted to hospital & induced, it took 24 hours before they could break my waters, then I eventually got an epidural after screaming the place down, they increased the drip to the highest level & 24 hours later I was 8cm, 2 hours later I had gone back to 6cm. I was rushed to theatre for an emergency section, they delivered ds & then i had a massive haemorrhage, it took them ages to stop it before they could stitch me back up, they had to mop the floor of the operating theatre before they could transfer me to a bed to take me out of theatre. I was in high dependency for 48 hours, I developed hellp syndrome & my organs were shutting down, I had to have a blood transfusion & was off my face on morphine & tranquilizers to try & get my blood pressure down. After 48 hours they moved me to the post natal unit & dumped me in a room, after that I didn't receive any care whatsoever, I was so weak I couldnt stand up & got told if I didn't walk to the dining room I didn't get any food, if it wasnt for what my mum brought me in every day I could have starved for all they cared. The moment I could stagger I discharged myself & went home, my gp was really good, he said that I should have been still in hospital but after we explained how badly I had been treated he agreed to treat me at home, we had the midwife visiting 3 times a day & the GP came every night, my blood pressure was still dangerously high & it took a month to get it down to being just high & three months to get it back to normal, I had gone in hospital weighing over 16 stone & two weeks after I came home I weighed about 9 stone. It took a year for me to be well again, mentally 15 years on I still get flashbacks & night terrors especially around ds birthday, I have been on antidepressants ever since. I never received any explanation why things went so wrong except that ds was back to back. I have never had any more children, I have got pregnant a couple of times but have miscarried, I honestly think my body would not let me go through another pregnancy. I haven't had any kind of counselling or therapy.

Sorry to hear all these awful experiences. I guess I was lucky - my first baby ran into difficulties, requiring an emergency c-section. My aftercare in hospital included 4 doctors - 2 who were my daughter’s doctors and 2 who were my doctors. We were both treated as individual patients requiring care.

I am so sorry @Nat6999, that sounds so awful.

@IamWaggingBrenda I do think it can be a bit of a lottery - I'm glad you and your DD got good care.

Another thing I forgot to mention in my OP...I remember catching sight of one bit of paperwork just before my section...which had "Did not labour" written on it.

Not sure what the nearly 48 hours of contractions were

I find it really sad to read all these stories and I hope you don't mind me sharing my experience. I went 17 days overdue with my first baby, who is now 10 weeks. I had a homebirth planned from the minute I found out I was pregnant but as soon as I got to 12 days over I was being pushed for induction. I was so against this because I knew my baby was happy and healthy and that more often than not induction leads to lots of intervention or a csection. In the end I got my home birth and everything was how I wanted but I really had to stand my ground to get there. My point is that one of the reason I fought so hard was that I was so scared of something bad happening, not being listened to and then being left traumatised had I been induced. Sorry that so many of you had such awful experiences.

Yep, I agree.

And poppy is right. Post natal "care" is awful these days. Women shouldn't be made to shuffle around a public post natal ward, hours after a section and sent home in a couple of days.