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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

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Original poster

Can't cope with my baby

35 replies

Lilybo7 · 26/06/2015 18:27

My baby is 2 weeks old and don't feel I can cope anymore with this constant crying and lack of sleep. My boyfriend has been great but he is back to work next week so won't be able to help out with night time feeds or during the day.
The baby just won't settle if we try to put her down anywhere and cries all the time unless one of us picks her up and cuddles her (or I feed her) but then I can't do ANYTHING around the house or even get myself a drink or breakfast never mind doing any tidying or housework I need to. I am usually on top of everything and hate not being able to do anything.
I'm just feeling very down, missing the spontaneity of my 'old' life and can't cope with being a mum. I feel like I want to get her adopted and then feel guilty because it's not her fault but this constant crying and lack of sleep is just a nightmare. :(((
Please tell me things get better??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Issie339 · 27/06/2015 20:21

lily I could have written your post when DD (now 2) was tiny. I cried (a lot!), shouted at DD a few times (still feel guilty about that) and felt as though I was an awful mother and couldn't cope. I'm pretty sure this is all quite normal.

DD was exactly as you describe, wouldn't be put down for a second day or night. Things I found that helped:

swaddle- once I started swaddling DD she would sleep in her Moses basket- amazing!
the baby swing was the only thing DD would sit in (for about 10 mins) without screaming- worth every penny!
Once I realised that looking after DD was 100% of what I had to do it got a lot easier. When I was trying to do everything I had been doing before DD and looking after a newborn at the same time it was infuriating and sooo frustrating I could have did frequently cried.

It only lasts a few months honestly, it gets better.

Candlefairy101 · 27/06/2015 20:22

P.s I literally had baby in my chest with my bookie out surrounded by food and Netflix/sky on and I loved it honestly we all go through what your goi through now, I don't bother going out, I'm just happy to enjoy the first few weeks feeding sleeping watching and eating xx

Lagoonablue · 28/06/2015 07:01

Yes swaddling! You can buy a velcro swaddling thing. It helps baby feel safe, all tucked up like in the womb. Give it a try!

Christelle2207 · 28/06/2015 07:39

Mine was the same -promise it gets better. In the meantime

Persist with the sling/try a different one. I always had to walk around for a bit to get the baby to settle in one.
Walk in pram is a great way to leave the house- most babies will settle though mine would always wake the moment I stopped!
Look into co-sleeping safely. Once I figured this out the night times got a lot better. I then co-slept with dc2 from day one.

I remember being terrified of my dh going back to work and tbh it wasn't as bad as all that.

See what is on at your local childrens centre, mine runs a postnatal "early days" course which was naff but brilliant for meeting local mums.

Purplehonesty · 28/06/2015 07:56

This is a hard time - until they are around six weeks and settle down a bit.
I spent the first few weeks in bed or on the sofa cuddling and feeding or cosleeping in bed. Don't try and do too much. If you both sleep together then you won't be so tired.

If you can have a shower before your boyfriend goes to work then you are ready for the day and if you want to go for a walk all you have to do is pick baby up, pop in pram and go. Don't worry about dressing her just go with babygro and blanket.

Get bf to buy you lots of chocolate and bottles of water and settle down with a box set while baby sleeps on you. That's all you really have to go to begin with, they want to be near you so just go with it.

Housework can be done anytime babies are only little for a short time.

Candlefairy101 · 28/06/2015 14:29

Lily how you feeling today? X

Roseybee10 · 29/06/2015 13:27

The first few weeks are really hard and it drove me crazy as I just wanted my house tidy but I found I got more stressed out trying to do stuff than just giving in and letting her sleep on me and relaxing. I felt so much better for just allowing myself to do what felt most natural.
I didn't really try properly with the sling with dd1 as I didn't really need to but with dd2 I persevered as I couldn't just sit and relax with a baby on me. It's been a god send as I can wipe down my kitchen counters, make food and sort the wAshing or dust or even Hoover with her in it.
Another god send had been the swing. She'll nap in that where as she won't nap in her cot so I can get some stuff done in short spurts.
It does get easier. She's 4.5 months now and I can leave her on her play mat playing or in her bouncer quite happily for 10 mins while I do bits and pieces.

My advice -

Buy a slow cooker and whack dinner in first thing in morning
learn to do things in short bursts - 15 mins twice in morning, twice in afternoon and twice in evening will help you keep on top of most of the house things.
try and get out the house at least every second day, even for a walk or in the garden. It keeps you sane and stops you both getting bored.
get your partner to spend time with her in the evenings so he gets bonding time and you get a break. I find even getting peace to clean the kitchen in the evening is a nice release, or go have a bath and chill or read a book for half an hour.

MrsO501 · 04/07/2015 18:00

I totally sympathise with this post OP, my DS is 11 weeks and it is just starting to get better. Everyone else gas given brilliant advice, I also suggest if you can get someone to baby sit, spend 30 mins on your own out of the house. This really helped me and I felt like a human being again.

Holden10 · 05/07/2015 08:45

I'm right there with you op, mines 5 weeks and actually having him here is the biggest shock to the system. Yy to Making yourself a packed lunch and just riding it out. Gl

5YearsTime · 05/07/2015 08:59

I remember the first day my DH went to work I had literally no idea how to get myself plus a baby up, dressed and fed and it took forever. It gets better and it gets better quickly. You will find your own systems. It's also worth persevering with the sling, it does make life so much easier.

Once your boyfriend is home 'prepping' for the next day might help.

-lay out outfit for baby
-get baby's bath stuff ready for next bath
-outfit for you
-prep breakfast/lunch
-a feeding/baby napping on you survival kit. Chocolate/water/book/charger/etc.
-bouncy chair in bathroom so baby can see you whilst you have a shower. I always take my pile of clothes in with me so i can get changed quick once I'm out the shower.
-get pram/sling/changing bag ready to go for the next day. Have it right by the door. Even put your shoes and jacket with it.

Someone once told me to enjoy it because they are only three weeks old for seven days. So true. Take a deep breath, forget about anything apart from the most basic housework and just focus on your wee one.

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