March 09 - The spring babies have sprung

[jollyjoanne]

Thought I'd start us up a post-natal thread for the new mummies of March 09 (or thereabout!)

I can't believe I'm actually here! Am I the last one to the party??

No bloody internet in the hospital, and we came home yesterday, so this is the first chance I've got to announce the arrival of Rhys Patrick, born Friday, April 3 at 5:29pm. Weighed 3.8kg and measured 55cm - a nice big boy!

Here's the birth scoop (plaintive post on what a hell it's been since the birth to follow later, after I read through all the posts and see how many others are in the same sleepless situation ):

As many of you know, I'd been scheduled for an induction on Thursday, but really wasn't happy about it - was in blooming condition and baby seemed fine through monitoring, so I went in Thursday morning dead set on coming BACK OUT as soon as I could. Luckily, when my OB turned up, she did an internal and found I was 4cm dilated and the cervix was completely effaced - so she sent me off home to wait it out.

"Regular" contractions started around 11pm Thursday, and slowly worked themselves towards every 5 mins by around 7am Friday. Off to the hospital we went.

They installed me in the delivery room; contractions had slowed, but was dilated to 6cm. So laboured from around 8am to 2:30pm -- just breathing and rolling around on the medicine ball and having my lovely DP stroke my back.

When they checked me again at 2:30pm, I'd only dilated another 1.5cm, and they suggested breaking my waters. Sure - sounds good - why not?

Now I know why not. Contractions ramped up IMMEDIATELY to every 1.5 minutes, each lasting about 2 minutes. I breathed and warm bathed through another 2 hours, and then cracked and asked for the epidural. Interesting - immediate pain relief (and they also put in a syntocin drip to speed things up more). The combo gave me uncontrollable shakes like St Vitus' dance, which freaked DP out a bit.

At about 5pm, they checked, I was at 10cm and the baby was engaged - time to turn off the epidural and push. The first two times the midwife had to say, "No, you need to be pushing down below, not with your face!" After that, though, things happened so fast that the attending OB barely made it into the room to catch Rhys -- six pushes and out he popped!

No episiotomy, two tiny tears and three stitches- hurrah!

Best parts of experience: had completely not realised that as I was pushing I'd be able to see him come out floods of tears from me and DP as Rhys arrived and when they put him on my chest he was super alert -- lots of eye contact with both of us, and tried to nurse straight away.

I can't believe I'm a mother. Holy cow.

Morning ladies

Hope all is well with everyone.

After a day or two struggling to establish breastfeeding, little Lauren is now feeding like a pro! And my boobs are like barrage balloons LOL

Have breastfeeding support popping in today, Guthrie test tomorrow, then not sure what else happening.

Dh has to go back to work today, I don;t mind in a way cos I have to get used to 3 children alone, and he does start to get on my nerves a bit LOL.

I took the children out yesterday to a friends so they could have a walk and a play with their friend, made a big difference. I hate being cooped up, and I am sure they hate it even more.

Congrats to wheresmybump, rubyring, spooky and grinning!

Anyone heard from kanga?

Congratulations on Rhys Patrick Corgi - great news !

I think Kanga is still Missing In Action.

Plaintive post to the mums who now have 2 or more DCs! I'm really struggling with the transition now Gabe is 6w and wants more attention. DS1 is disabled (CP) so poor Gabe seems to be an afterthought all the time (eg I can't just sit and talk to him for 30 min). He also feeds a LOT so DS1 doesn't get much 1:1 time either!

Can't easily wear Gabe and play with DS1 as DS1 is very strong (and heavy!) and needs constant physio adjustment. DS1 can play on his own, but can't really initiate games. Reading is also tricky as G is usually in my lap feeding so DS1 tries to fit toO!

Anyone else suffering?

Have just read through all the posts...am I in time for today's piles session? Slick, that made me laugh!

And I sorely needed a laugh am a bit of a wreck today. Would anyone mind if I post a couple of lengthy, woe-is-me-can-anyone-help-is-this-normal-will-it-ever-get-better messages? I so missed having the March group's input in hospital hadn't realised how much I'd grown to depend on it in the antenatal thread.

I feel guilty for having an emotional meltdown, but I seem to be doing nothing but.

I look at at DP and Rhys and bawl at the thought of anything happening to them; I cried all the way home from the hospital yesterday at the thought of being in a car crash now that Rhys is with us; I cry when Rhys waves an arm in the air while BFing -- and I sob when he is well into his second hour of hopeless, frantic shrieking at 3am and nothing we can do will settle him.

I know he's not even five days old, but...how do you tell what's normal and what isn't, and if you should be worried about something physical? After a relatively okay time the first couple of days in hospital (sleeping 3-4 hours at a stretch day and night), he turned into Jekyll/Hyde -- from 8am to 6pm, he was lovely, feeding and sleeping, and for the entire evening and night, he was inconsolable.

Last night (5pm to 9am this morning) was the same. He took really well to BFing in hospital after a bit of a struggle. Now at night, though, he gets so worked up that he develops instant amnesia and spits out my nipple in an utter rage. DP will take him and calm him a bit, and we try again. After a half hour or so, it will usually work -- but he is only calm when he's on the breast. If we put him down, he'll sleep for 15-30 minutes and then be up again howling and rooting though he doesn't seem hungry. DP can get him to calm (walking, rocking, story telling), but that process can take a good 2-3 hours and only lasts as long as he's in our arms. Put him down, and it starts up again. Am feeling utterly knackered and don't know where I would be without DP, who has been an absolute hero (tears welling at the very thought). I can't sleep when Rhys does sleep because I'm on edge, waiting for those siren-like, piercing, hopeless cries, poor little fellow.

DP has two weeks of paternity leave, and I'm already terrified of being left alone at the end of them. And terrified at the thought of having visitors. And terrified at the thought of going out. And...and...and...

I am just a wuss.

Please tell me there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Sorry, forgot to mention what we're trying already to calm wee Rhys down --

Dummy - he hates it
Swaddling - seems pretty effective, especially for the rocking, cuddling, bouncing etc, but he always works free of it and I'm afraid that he'll end up suffocating on an end of the blanket if we put him down swaddled.
Cot - we actually just put the bassinette from our pram in the cot and are hoping the tighter confines will make him feel more secure. No noticeable effect, though.
Sidesleeping - I know, the horror. But it worked. DP did it once in hospital - I'd dropped off when he was walking Rhys round the room, and woke up several hours later to find DP and Rhys asleep in DP's bed, with Rhys propped on his side. He seemed utterly content, but I went into instant cot death panic mode...

Many, many apologies for these hugely self-centred posts. I think I needed a serious vent, and you wonderful ladies are it. It's lovely reading your stories and seeing pics of your bubs.

And one LAST post - two pics of Rhys now on my profile page.

I find him shockingly handsome, in a squished-frog-like way.

corgi , that's what this thread is for, getting help trying to work out your newborn

so............

Dummy - never tried one!
swaddling - effective with both dd's - stops their wee arms doing the startle reflex as you lower them into the cot/moses basket/pram. Rosie tends to wriggle free but if you put them with their feet at the foot of the bed they should wriggle upwards and not get blanket on their face. Also if you use a cellular blanket then they can breath through it.
Cot - we used our pram as a moses basket with dd1 because it was black and we thought darkness would help! Going for a different approach at the moment - letting Rosie sleep in the light so that she doesn't always have to have it dark to sleep (like dd1!)
Sidesleeping - haven't really done it - I did co-sleep in hospital (and when she was doing marathon bf's)

Am also terrified of cot death - we have a breathing monitor this time round which gives us some re-assurance and has stopped dh from checking every 5 mins if she is breathing!

Lovely pics - no squishedness at all, he's gorgeous! You should have seen my dd1 after a long long OP labour - squint head and mouth - poor wee thing!

Gorgeous photos Corgi.

Now, the best piece of advice I was given on the birth of dd1 was this - 'everyone tells you to enjoy the first few months because you'll never get them back but you don't enjoy them, they are hell but it passes surprisingly quickly'.

And believe me - DH and I were only saying last night that we can't believe Lara is 4 weeks tomorrow and a month old on sunday. And she now occasionally sleeps for 6 hours at a stretch at night. OK sometimes she still awake for 6 hours at a stretch at night but when you start getting the odd night of a long stretch it makes you realise that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you might be able to function normally again one day.

Can't really offer much advice on bf-ing. It hasn't worked for me once at all and this time its worked relatively easily (albeit somewhat painfully). It is still early days though and you're both still learning. In the first couple of days when L was having a bit of trouble I was hand expressing some and syringing it to her to keep it up and just kept trying her. You could try posting a thread in the breast feeding topic but just to be warned some people are very passionate about their subject and whilst very helpful can make you feel in the wrong. But you might get some good tips.

I think its quite normal for them to want to sleep on/with you - Lara still likes it now although is beginning to be better at going to sleep not on me.

FInally, very normal to be crying at everything - I think if you had the time to look back on this thread (which you won't) there was a time when we were all posting similar.

Hope some of this is helpful - keep repeating 'THIS TOO SHALL PASS'

Grinningbee - if/when you make it over here, can you post on the pregnancy after m/c thread - they're desperate to know about you over there....

Laumiere - It is hard with two and trying to make sure they both get attention.

The way I see it is that they both have to wait at times and let the other one have attention. I guess its a bit easier for me as dd1 is 4 so I have been able to explain this to her (although not entirely sure she listens ).

I guess its another case of muddling through and hoping for the best. Soon (ok a few months but I guess it'll go quickly) your DS2 will be able to entertain himself for a bit and it'll be easier.

laumiere

I not sure if i can be much help, but i found it realy realy hard going from 1 to 2 children. And that was with dd1 going to preschool every morning from about a week after dd2 was born.

It took me a good 6mths to feel like i was coping. Although how much of this was because dd2 was a very horrible screamy baby.

corgi meant to say that you sound very like I was with dd1. I cried constantly. the baby blues hit on day 3 after a night with a sceaming baby. She was never easy to settle and wouldn't latch on at all.

With Rosie they hit on day12 - sleep deprivation was a part of it I think and the pain I experienced trying to bf.

My favourite place to cry was when I managed to sneak a shower - I would stand under the water and sob.

But the one thing to know is that at this stage it is totally normal. My HV said that if they did their depression test with new mums they would all be pegged as depressed because of all the hormones rushing about.

Also - you have just gone from a life where you had control. You did your job and ran your life as you wanted to. Now you have a teeny person who rules the roost and you can't control things any more. I found that very hard to handle the first time round.

On top of that you had a long long labour. You are no doubt exhausted from that on top of sleepless nights. You may have found the whole thing quite traumatic (I know I did with dd1).

so no wonder you are feeling like you do. Again - remember it is normal.

It is VERY common for a newborn to feed and feed and feed at night - your hormones make you produce more milk at night so those clever little babies feed to get your supply up.

I didn't enjoy my newborn days with dd1 so I am detrmined to have a different experience this time and so far it is working. But I am so much more chilled and my life has already been turned upside down by one chold, so Rosie just slots into the mix.

I always thought that 6 weeks was a bit of a milestone - suddenly you find that you can cope (albeit at a much slower place than life pre-children) - you manage to have a shower and step back int0 the real world.

Before your dp goes back to work, go out with him and Rhys. Get used to working your pram - and then when your dp is at work try to go for a walk every day. You will get so many old folk coo-ing over Rhys that it will make you feel happy!

It gets easier and easier every day - I promise you it does!

Hi Another person here struggling with number 2!

Also totally get the weeping thing too, I was much worse with dd, and this time around (fingers crossed) I have not had that weepy stage yet although matthew is only 9 days old so there is plenty of time.

Major issues with bf here though, pain when ever I feed him, and I am sure everything is correct, but we are trying hard to push through this stage.

Having a lovely day so far, dd at grandmas, so had a lie in until 9am! then sat watching tv all morning!!

Its is true what they say about enjoying the early days, I was so neurotic first time around, worrying about sleeping on me, eye contact on a night, not cuddling too much

I am so much more chilled with ds, and loving those cuddles, and him have the "occasional" sleep on me!

corgi

It sounds a lot like Rhys is doing what my LO did, and trust me, it gets easier! Our best guess was the poor things end up in a lot of pain for a few days as their guts expand out properly (my DS2 did some impressive lime green poos!).

What we found worked:
Infacol before every feed (with HV's blessing)
Check up with an osteopath to help align his cranial/sacral areas. (If you're London-based the British School of Osteopathy do a special baby clinic for £20).

Piercing siren cries often mean pain, so assume he's already got some stuck wind!

We put DS2 on his back on a flat surface, lifted his legs up (like when you do a nappy change) and moved them gently in an anti-clockwise circle while doing the same circle on his tummy. lifting his legs acts like a valve opening to let any air out and the circles help his guts move the wind through (and make you feel that you're doing something useful!)

Hi all, lovely to read what everyone is up to.

Laumiere, I'm finding two a struggle as well - mostly feeling guilty that Katherine is getting NO attention compared to her big brother. I don't have any magic answers, but you are certainly not alone.

Corgi, Rhys sounds so much like Sam (DS) was. DH and I got through it by taking it in turns to be with him - one of us did midnight to 4am, one 4am to morning. He wouldn't settle for anything. It did pass, we're all here, but it was hellish, you have all my sympathy.

One thing I've found out since - it's not very likely, but I think it was our problem - is that I had serious over-supply of milk, and he was feeding every 2 hours, and I think he had lactose-overload. I was the biggest hippy ever, BF on demand, co-slept, had him in a sling. Looking back, I think spacing out the feeds would have helped him to digest the milk he was getting, and to stop 'snacking' on watery foremilk all the time. Never thought I'd advocate 'routine' for anyone, least of all a fussy baby, but it might be worth thinking about?

Things are settling down here. Katherine is a very 'easy' baby, unbelievable after DS, who defined the term 'high needs' (for any Sear's fans out there). She's asleep now, some nights she sleeps for 3 or 4 hours between feeds, and she smiles, follows me with her eyes, and looks at DH like she just LOVES him to bits. And he looks at her the same way (he really wanted a girl!). It's not totally roses all the way, but that's for another time

Meep - fantastic advice - agree with everything you said!

Corgi - I was inconsolable on the third day after giving birth on both occasions. My mum has a theory that your hormones go ballistic just before your milk comes in which compels you to sob uncontrollably. I remember trying to do play doh with DD1 and being in floods of tears in front of her. DP had to rescue me.

I think the problem with newborns is that they're either quiet and peaceful or fussing/crying with very little in between - so you're working with two extremes - great if you get lots of the former but really tough if you get loads of the latter.

Captain - interesting theory about feeding on demand - Melissa is vomiting a lot and I suspect I'm overfeeding her - it's so difficult to know what is a hungry cry and what is a colicky cry - I usually end up putting her on the breast to calm her down whilst wondering if it's the right thing to do...

missmodular and Captain,

I found block feeding from one side for 2-3 feeds then swapping helped to make sure Gabriel gets to the hind milk. I also expressed off a little by hand before giving him the 'new' side to help avoid gushing.

Also had some really horrible nights but fortunately these were interspersed with some really good nights. I have found that Infacol helps and I have been trying to feed every three to four hours even waking her up sometimes to feed her, also found that keeping her wrapped in a blanket whilst feeding her and then putting this into the cot has helped but we still have some nights where I am so tired and she isn't that I want to scream. Definitely trying to get some rest in the day when I can, this helps to make the nights a bit easier too. But quite glad to hear from those who have been here before that it passes.

Also congrats Corgi

Phew! What a busy day you've all had!

We had a particularly bad night with Fat Boab last night, he'd slept a lot through the day yesterday, but he just wouldn't settle, grunted when he wasn't feeding and had been burped but it was like trapped wind or something. So yet another night of very little sleep. I'm really hoping tonight is better as DH is out all night for a night off and it'll be sod's law that both the wee ones will be up and the 8 year old will get up just for a laugh...

Anyway:

Boobz I introduced bottles with all three whilst still b/fding and never had any problems with any of them. 2 of them before 6 weeks, one at 9 weeks mixed feeding. I think there is a danger or leaving it too late and then they struggle to change - probably a ploy by the HV's!! (Cynical - me??)

3Cute Thanks for MKG's thread link - you're so good at taking care of us all! Is MKG going to be joining us on our thread?

Aunty Defo TMI on this thread which I think myself and Emma are guilty of. Speaking of which, where is she...?

And Kanga is conspicuous by her absence. Here's hoping she is FINALLY in labour or had her 5th!

Corgi Yip, it does get better and I also agree with everything Meep said. I have to tell myself at the moment that it will get easier as I have a newborn, a 1 and 1/2 year old and an 8 year old, and until last week, was still blubbing at lots of things. I am however finally feeling more confident and know that it will get easier. Esp between 6 weeks and 3 months (I mean NOTICABLY). You're still at very early stages so just give yourself time.

Laumiere Great advice re: leg rotations. I will try it on DS tonight. And then myself. And then DH tomorrow. Actually no, scrap that. Bad idea. He has no probs getting his wind up!

Am away to try and get an hour or two's sleep.

Later Y'all.

laumiere I've found the transition from 1 to 2 very difficult, as Lilymolly will tell you! I've posted numerous times about this, but, as everyone has been telling me, it does get better and this week I think we've turned the corner.
I was so focussed on DD2 I just expected DD1 to grow up and realise that DD2 was more important, but of course she's only 3 and doesn't understand that. I now make sure, when she comes home from nursery, that DD2 is either asleep or on her gym so I can spend time with DD1 - this has only been possible over the past ten days as DD2 has only just got herself into a routine. I'm ignoring the bad behaviour and praising the good, and there's lots of cuddles when I'm physically able.

I think the main thing I didn't realise is that everyone would have to adapt to DD2 being around - me, DH and DD1.

On another note had a much better night with DD2, she woke at 3:50am rather than 2:30am - mainly because DH managed to get more of her bottle down her neck at 11pm! She is, however, waking at 5/6am with dreadful wind - anyone else's LO suffering at that time in the morning?

Duhhh didn't mean "more important"....

Yes auntyspan it is getting slightly easier. Prob because yesterday dd went to grandmas for the day and I and ds slept until 9am then lazed around all day!

Still having MAJOR problems with breastfeeding, very very sore and no matter what I do, nips feel like they are getting munched on for 20 mins and its making me cry

Any advice greatly appreciated!

Having 2 friends over today with their dc for play date for dd, so wish me luck!!