July 2008 - Now our babies are arriving let's have a thread to talk about them...

[minipinkscottish]

Hi ladies
I know there are many of us still to pop but thought it would be nice to start a thread that we can come to once the LO's are here

Abbie is 4 weeks and 3 days old today and my due date isn't here yet

Abbie is doing great - eating and sleeping and very content. The feeding was hard going at first as it is very frequent with her being early but I think you actually get used to being tired

Someone (sorry can't remember who) was talking about bottle and bf together and nipple confusion. Well all the times I have bf I have done so exclusively even when it was very difficult - I am stubborn As Abbie was early and lost a good bit of weight the mw advised topping her up with ebm through a syringe. This was tough as I was bf then trying to express only to bf 1 hour later - so I gave her formula to top up. Giving her the milk in a syringe became difficult as they tended to spurt the milk too quickly at times. So I gave her a bottle to top up( Tommee Tippee - closer to nature) and it was great!!

I bf her all day and then top up after bf at night to get a bit longer sleep - it's working - she is putting on weight and no nipple confusion

sorry for huge post - hope you will all come over and join me!!!!!

Rumpel - aww so sorry you are having a hard time right now, remember this is the hardest time it does get easier doesn't seem like it just now. It's bloody hard having a newborn baby and another DD/DS who needs you as well it's a big shock. On the breastfeeding front if you want to continue try to get ahold of a breastfeeding counsellor to come out to you and check your latch etc but you may decide to go over to formula and you wouldn't be a failure at all. Sometimes I think we need to say enough is enough and you have given him the best start and he and you would be happier with bottles. Keep posting and ranting on here though

disneystar - best of luck for tomorrow x

mummy2bsoon - I am cosleeping with DD3 as I have done with the 2 others, I do have a bedside cot at my side of the bed which means theres no way of her falling out. She usually starts off in her cot then first feed comes in with me for the rest of the night. DD1 went into her own cot and room at 15 months and DD2 at 12 months no problem. As long as you are careful about cosleeping I think it is safe, afterall babies have slept beside their mothers since time began I believe they are meant to sleep with their mums when tiny we have an inbuilt sense that they are there and to protect them.

isaidno - still haven't got round to using the sling need to view the DVD first.

minkus - I am "missing" my big girls too and I don't have as much patience with them either. I also feel I am not doing the same things with them I used to sitting playing with them doing stuff with them etc

pigleychez - they do that sometimes just don't settle no matter what you do they are on and off the boob all night and nothing you do works, doesn't mean you are a failure, it does get better in a few months they start to get more interested in round about them and will lie under a baby gym or sit in a swing, oh speaking of which last time I was told to get a swing and it was great, we have a Fisher Price one that has songs and lights up as well as swing, its fab, seems to sooth them even if it buys you 10 mins to get things done when they are unsettled.

thanks for all the lovely words about the pictures it is scary how much DD1 and 3 look like each other, I hope DD3 sleeps like DD1 she was great at sleeping, DD2 on the other hand........ I'm doing OK have ups and downs, downs mostly being when B wants held and is crying and I am in the middle of making dinner and the otehr two are howling. Had my best friend visit today she is 25 weeks with her first, she makes me laugh she was so scared to hold B and was asking me all about prams/BFing/cots etc bless her am so excited for her.

sweetkitty i DID say to dp last night pretty girl and i am a hard one to please - they are lovely!

x-posts serves me right for typing so much

purplejenny - sorry I agree with BM keep them in their cot for as long as possible, DD1 was 3, DD2 got kicked out of hers last weekend as we needed it for B. DD2 doesn't have an afternoon nap so is utterly shattered by bedtime at 8pm, she is asleep in 5 minutes flat. We found if she had a nap she was up until after 9pm singing in her cot! Must sort out that Close sling too.

'pretty girls' !

thank you BM we do seem to make pretty girls DP and I

PJR - we had that prob with ds 2.3 and still do a bit, we have a stair gate on his bedroom door, and we've found him asleep twice now on the carpet next to this , but I have been a bit relaxed about his bedtimes, and although sometimes he is tired the next day, taking the stress away seems to have worked for us. When he realised that he just wasn't getting the attention he wanted,he seems to go to bed of his own accord. Oh and I also got some new books so he is excited about new stories as well. Not sure if that helps you.....

Thanks for the advice ladies!
i do agree re the cot - we put her in a bed in the spring simply cos I couldn't lift her in and out of cot and then (it's dh's cot so very old!) a friend climbed on the side which fell off! Dd1 is a big girl, and could actually pull the side off after that!
Thinking of using our travel cot which has a zip door on it. Or stairgate on doorway - then she could potter round and play a bit if she's really not tired... But normally she is tired, just fights amd fights! And if she doesn't get a nap she's horrid in the afternoon!
Might try travel cot for naps, stairgate for bedtime and leave her to it - like you say take away the negative attention...

PJR - I totally sympathise with your bed time problems. DD - aged 5 and ds 2.5 have both been HARD work!! DS has been a non sleeper from the start but dd has been awful since Abbie was born. She ends up in beside us most nights and ds4 has spent quite a few nights on the sofa. However, years ago when ds3 was little he went through this and we tried all the things that you have tried - cots don't work as they have all been able to climb out by about 18 months!! But it didn't last and he soon came out of it himself.
Life is too short to make a big fuss over everything and really it is most important that everyone sleeps regardless of where. As my mum said "they wont want to sleep in your bed when they are 16"

Having said all that - had a great night last night - everyone stayed in their own beds and Abbie slept 9pm till 3am and then again till 7am

Argghh, A wanted feeding every hour during the night, probably because as soon as he finished eating he would throw half up it up again and so would be hungry soon. Off to the HV this morning where I am sure I will get the "oh god it's someone with a PFB" face and fobbed off with "it's normal,blah" . I am actually going because I have been told to go in as last time they thought he looked jaundiced. Anyway. Just needed to vent, promise to come back from clinic and catch up with the posts.

Arggghhh.

hi all sorry not been on for a while, had breastfeeding nightmares! Max got thrush in his mouth and i got in on my boobs, asked the HV and said it wasn't. Well it was and got so bad i was crying in agony every feed. Tried nipple shields - didn't work for us. So expressed while i healed a bit. Max now refuses the breast - think its too much like hard work, so after lots of tears i have reluctantly given up. Feel so so guilty but can't really do anything else.

Any tips on winding down milk production, cutting out one feed every few days and expressing in between.

Rumpel - just read your message - don't feel bad if you do give up. Even though i feel guilty the relief was huge! hugs to you.

It never occurred to my two to climb out the cot which I have always been grateful for, I agree a babygate across her bedroom would be an idea.

Mummywannabee - you poor thing but don't beat yourself up about it Max got some breastmilk and thats great, have no experience of winding down milk production before they start solids but think your idea of one feed every few days sounds about right.

I'm still in my jammies today and it's 11.20am housework is done though and DDs are dressed it's just me, Bethany has been doing the not wanting to be put down thing this morning argh. She did 8.30pm dreamfeed at 11pm, 2am and 4 am last night. NOt too bad.

ohhh sweetkitty (i was imjin from the March 2008 thread) just spotted you've had a baby - fantastic fantastic news - so thrilled. hope you're doing really well.
sorry for the intrusion to the rest!

Hi there. I finally 'declared' myself on the july ante-natal thread a few days ago having lurked for a couple of weeks so hope no-one minds me joining in now-or am I too late?!! My baby girl Kate was born on 20th JUly after a thankfully quick labour and delivery (5 mins of pushing and she was out!) I had a much longer/complicated birth with my DS so it was a huge relief this time round.

I could do with some advice re introducing bottles.... BFing is going well at the moment but I'm struggling with the sheer exhaustion of it (sorry to moan!) My HV said yesterday that I must introduce a bottle of EBM no later than 4 weeks otherwise she isn't likely to take it. When I told her I'd successfully introduced bottles with DS at 10 weeks she said I must have been 'lucky' and that girls are more difficult than boys in this sense!! Any words of wisdom here?! I want to breast feed for as long as possible but would eventually like DH to be able to give her one of the evening feeds.

hi itcanwait,welcome!
I am by no means an expert, far from it, there are some posters on here who are, but introducing bottles before 4 weeks or they won't take them sounds a little odd to me.....could be wrong, but just doesn't sound right somehow....i'll be interested on other viewpoints on this
how are you getting on other than that? How are you finding two dc....i'm finding it a bit of a struggle

itcanwait - arggghhh, our midwife told us to WAIT until at least 4 weeks before introducing a bottle of EBM. I really really really really really really really wish they would all get their stories straight. *sighs
However there are people on this thread who introduced bottles/breasts/dummies from day one and have never had any problems. I think it is one of those things where each individual baby is different.
Also. Welcome

Mummywannabe - You have made the decision that is right for you and your baby and there is no need to feel guilty. However if you do want to try and perserve have you thought of talking to an NCT breastfeeding counsellor or the La Leche league. They are both free.

Rumpel - sorry you are having such a difficult time, no advice as a first-timer but hope things get easier soon.

The advice I was given by the HV re:A being up all night being sick and feeding was to keep him up more during the day - as my DH texted me - "HOW?? By sticking pins into him?"
Any thoughts on keeping a sleepy baby awake that won't get me reported to the NSPCC?

itcanwait - advice is usually to wait until 4 - 6 weeks to introduce bottle so that bf is well established and nipple confusion less of a risk. Lots of people on this thread who have introduced earlier with no probs though. It can be difficult to introduce a bottle later as baby loves and is used to boob and refuses.

itcanwait - Daisy is 10 days old and has had a few feeds on EBM with no problems at all so far. I waited until BFing was well established to avoid her having a preference for the bottle, she seems to be happy suck on anything at the moment!

Mummy - very shocked at your HV but it doesn't surprise me - OMG they make me so sometimes. Don't feel guilty about giving up bf if you feel that it is best for you and baby. However, I had deep breast thrush with dd, almost 6 years ago and had to diagnose myself and get articles from net before anyone would listen.....it is sooooooooo painful and I sobbed at every feed...I totally know how you feel. However, after much research I asked doc for fluconzanole 100mg on day 1 and 50mg a day for at least 4 weeks - believe me it works and I went on to feed dd for a year. The same happened again with ds4 and I got meds in week 2. This time I had meds ready when Abbie was born and I took them for first 2 weeks and no thrush developed. If your milk is still there it is not too late to try this....only if you want.....just wanted to give you this information. Also with dd she also was fractious and began to refuse breast but as thrush cleared up and with perseverence this resolved itself.

Sending you big hugs xxxxxx

libra1975 - keeping a baby awake - I agree you can't if the baby is tired!
It is a good idea to work on making day and night different - so daytime sleeps are downstairs with noise (tv, hoover, etc) and night sleeps are quiet and dark, minimal talking etc. I always bath Poppy about 6pm, and try to keep her awake for a good hour or two during this time (kick about on play mat with no nappy, followed by bath, dry, feed), so by 8pm she is pretty exhausted. It may be you need to concentrate on having a longish waking period in the early evening to tire your ds out for the night. I don't think you need to keep him awake all day!
Also try not to wake him up too much at night - feed him as soon as he stirs so he is still quite sleepy, don't change his nappy. As I have said before Poppy is really good at night because she barely wakes up properly - feeds lying down cosied up to me, I'm sure she is half asleep even while she is feeding. I never bother trying to burp her - she's fast asleep and so am I!! (I think it comes out the bottom end instead!)

With regards to being sick you could try elevating his head a little, perhaps put a folded blanket under the head end of his mattress. I find Poppy sleeps better slightly raised - it helps the tummy acid stay down.

Does your ds have a dummy? My ds1 would feed, then puke, then feed, then puke until I realised he wanted the comfort of sucking rather than the milk. A dummy might help if you think that might be the case.

Hope some of that long ramble might be of use to you!

isaidno - thanks so much for taking the time to post that! we do have the cot elevated head end already.
We tried a dummy but he realised very quickly he couldn't scream with a dummy in his mouth so spits it out
Like poppy he sleeps beauitfully when in the bed with me, it's just I don't sleep very well worrying I am going to smother him and don't want to co-sleep really!
However I am wondering if he sleeps well in the bed and not in the cot because he is on his side in the bed as he has been feeding and just naturally prefers to be on his side - Does anyone know the current thinking about babies sleeping on their side?

Am going to put "keep baby awake" on Dads list of things to do when he gets home from work and try keeping him awake longer in the evening as you suggest.

Thank you for your suggestions.

Hi All, let's see if I can remember all th things I wanted to say!

Rumpel, sorry to hear you're having such a rough time of it. You've done really well with Calvin so far, if you need to move him onto formula, just do it - you can't keep going on so little sleep. Have you tried different shapes of dummies? Both my other 2 preferred the 'flattened' shape rather than the round ones.

SK, PJR and isaidno, I am sitting here looking at my new Close sling which arrived today. Will try it out on Orlaith when she wakes up (which won't be too long by the sounds of things).

PJR re the sleep thing - DH or I often lie down for 5 minutes on top of the bed next to dd2. It settles her down ready for the night. Lots of people think we're mad though, as they don't want to have to do this for a long time. I reckon she'll get to a point where she doesn't want us there anymore, probably when she's old enough to read her own stories.

Mummy2bsoon, I sort of co-sleep with Orlaith in that she starts the night in her carrycot but then comes into our bed later on and tends to stay there. We've finally got the bfing lying down thing sorted out, so I can snooze while she feeds. Only problem is I am terribly short-sighted and I have to put on my glasses to get her latched on. I keep waking up with my bins still on.....

CilC, I hadn't realised Rafferty had a Rhesus incompatability too - you put me to shame, you've coped with it so quietly and I have been feeling very sorry for myself and Orlaith. We're off to the clinic tomorrow for another check, so hopefully the bili levels will be down otherwise we might be looking at another hospital stay . How did you manage with not being able to cuddle Rafferty at the start? That was the hardest thing for me - it was 4 days before I really got to hold my LO, and then it was only for 15 minutes before she had to go back under the lights again. Feeding is fortunately going fine now, though I still keep leaking all over the place. I never had this much problem with either of the other two, but it seems all Orlaith has to do is give one little cry and suddenly I'm soaking. Not a good look, I can tell you!

Finally (and you all breathe a sigh of relief!) Itcanwait, I introduced bottles at 6 months with dd2, as she had to go on a bottle before I went back to work and it wasn't a big issue. DD1 had some top-up bottles to start with, then this stopped at 10 weeks, and she went back on a bottle at 6 months too. It seemed to work better for me if DH started with the bottles, as obviously he wasn't associated with bfing . Also, they had both started on solids before the bottles came in, so they were coming round to the idea that food could come from other sources rather than mummy.

Off now to see if I can work out what to do with these metres of material. It looks like something Houdini might have used!

Sorry, back again. Libra1975 dd2 slept on her side a lot. I don't know the current thinking on this, but I went with it for the sake of my sanity. Also, in Germany, where one of my sisters lives, babies are put down on their side to sleep, and you're told to change the side they sleep on each time you put them down to stop them getting a flat head.

libra - why not co sleep for a few nights, then your ds might be more wakeful in the day, which will lead him to sleep better at night? He might be happier after a few good nights sleep. Prob best to do this at the weekend so you can get some naps in for yourself to compensate.

isaidno - Bethany is the exact same I feed her as soon as she stirs so never has a proper cry and feed her lying down we both must nod off at some point and she sleeps curled up next to me, I never wind at night or change nappies either she gets a change at 11 to wake her up enough for a feed and thats it.

Tried my Close sling today it is very good but oh my loads of material I feel like a Mummy, B was restless but settled well in it and fell asleep. Have only done the upright position not tried feeding in it.

You have all reminded me I must start expressing and giving a bottle of EBM before it's too late, can't remember when I started with DD2 but as she would have probably drank her milk out of a rusty bucket I had no problems with her. Need B to be able to have a bottle now and again so I can leave her with DP.