BOTTLE REFUSER HELP

[mrssunshinexxx]

hello I have an almost 6 month old who is breast fed which is relevant, when she was small but over 6 weeks my dh very occasionally gave her a bottle but she never took loads and it was quite a battle so I just gave up on it as the time spent pumping for most to get poured away did my head in.
She has just started having a little bit of solids but still wakes 2 hourly or less so my husband offered to feed her expressed bottle last night so I could get abit of slee well she was not happy but he managed to get an ounce down her. Que me in the morning feeling a crap mum when I realised she was drinking from size 1 teat !! Went out and bought size 3 today and dh tried again tonight but she wouldn't even put it in her mouth just screamed so I caved and came in and breast fed.

Any tips ?
It tried pulling my top up and as she was going to latch on put the bottle in but she cried.
Should I try through the day when she's not tired / mega hungry with the bottle ?
To be honest I can cope with the 2 hourly waking but I am planning to join the gym in January and at this rate there's no way I would feel like I could happily leave for an hour or 2 it's not fair to leave either of them when she won't happily take a bottle

Advise appreciated

I wouldn't bother trying to give her a bottle yourself, she'll smell your milk and boobs and want that instead. Hand her over to her dad and go out for the day. They'll figure it out.

Thanks @Ohalrightthen but I'm not comfortable to do that and distress either of them

Don't worry about going to the gym. Just leave DH with a cup and some EBM. They'll both have to find there own way of dealing with it.

Also, an ounce is ok. BF babies usually take one floz an hour, so if she's feeding every 2 hours she's probably only taking 2 floz at a tone normally.

Have a look at Breast Compressions to see if you can encourage her to take more in a feed so she will sleep for probably 10 minutes/ a bit longer.

@mrssunshinexxx

Thanks *@Ohalrightthen* but I'm not comfortable to do that and distress either of them

You're not going to get her to take a bottle any other way.

There are loads of old threads on bottle refusing in the archive OP if you have a look

Are you always so negative? @Ohalrightthen

@JingleJohnsJulie thanks will definitely try that!

@mrssunshinexxx

Are you always so negative? *@Ohalrightthen*

@JingleJohnsJulie thanks will definitely try that!

I'm the bitter voice of experience! DD refused a bottle from me for months - i tried everything under the sun and ended up pouring litres of breastmilk down the drain. Eventually i had to leave her, was away for 10 hours, and she and DH figured it out. I was the problem. It's a very common story, they won't take the bottle if the real thing is on offer.

@Ohalrightthen that's lovely that worked for you I won't be leaving my baby to be distressed

That's absolutely up to you, but in that case I'd prepare yourself for the baby to be breastfed until she's old enough to manage a cup by herself.

She can use a open sippy cup but she can't be using that in the pitch black at 12,2,4,6am it will just go everywhere

When she's 6m you could start night weaning, can you hold out that long?

Thanks for the advice but she's still too hungry to do that

Solids should help with that. At 6m if she's gaining properly dhe should be ok to go for 4hrs+ overnight - she's likely waking for comfort. Do you feed to sleep? Might be worth thinking about trying a different settling method, it could cut the number of night wakings and even if it doesn't you can then share them with your DP.

Yep thanks will definitely try that when I'm confident she isn't hungry

Ds is also almost 6 months and a complete bottle refused.

He will take enough to take the edge off the hunger from a tommee tippee hard spouted sippee cup so weve started introducing that daily as I'm back at work at the end of January.

Cant help with the overnights though, I just feed him laid in bed co sleeping for ease.

OP, have you tried different types of cups? At 6 months she doesn't have to drink from a bottle. I also had a bottle refuser, after trying everything I finally realised that she didn't like drinking lying down so from 7 months on she drank all her milk from a tommee tippee straw cup sitting upright. Might be worth a try?

@Blackcoffeewithmilkplease but she lays pretty flat to breast feed and loves that?

My LG refused bottles though my LB was happily combi fed.

First, don't change the teat size. Your nipple holes don't change size so baby doesn't need the bigger sizes.

Second, ditch the bottles and concentrate on sippy cups with a spout or 360 style. Much easier for all of you

Yes, my DC laid flat when breastfeeding as well, which is why it took so long to work out what the problem was! I think putting it in a straw cup maybe meant that she saw it as just food, rather than a breastfeeding substitute? Sorry, that sounds very cold, it wasn't meant that way, we still cuddled while she drank it and everything, just that she was being introduced to so many new foods at the time, milk in a cup was just one of them, if that makes sense?

Much sympathy OP. We had this and it was a soul destroying nightmare.

The only thing that helped was buying all the different types of bottles to see which one baby would tolerate. Eventually settled on the MAM ones.

At 6mo we used the control crying method overnight to trying and reduce the frequency of night wakes/feeds. By now, feeding that often overnight is becoming a habit.

We started by focusing on which feed was the most problematic. So waking to feed at 11pm was fine really, but 1am was not. So I would feed at 11pm, then if baby woke at 1am, DH would use the CC method to settle baby back to sleep. I would then feed on the next waking.

It took a few hard nights but things vastly improved sleep wise!!

She was never a big milk drinker though, and didn't really use breastfeeding as a comforter (she never fed to sleep, for example), so perhaps that also made a difference?

Have you tried different types of teats? My youngest did this and after trying many different ones he would take the NUK latex teats. They're softer and a different shape which feels more natural.

I would think night feeds might be harder to get her to accept a bottle, as comfort is a big part of it. I would probably try in the day and I would probably go out and leave your DH to try. You don't have to leave her screaming but go out for an hour or two and have your phone on if needed.

Mine never took bottles but once weaning started it got a bit easier to leave them, as DH could give them something like porridge. Also in time they got better with a diody cup. Took ages to figure out the miracle360 Cup sadly!

Just to add that neither of mine ever took a bottle but by 9 and 10 months they were both in childcare in the days I worked and had milk from a cup along with their solids.

Like others have said, I'd get DH to try a feed in day rather than at night. Could he take her to the park or swimming and a cafe so he's got her for a couple of hours without you? He could take a cup and a snack and you could sleep or just enjoy having sone time to yourself. If he does this regularly she will get used to relying on him for food as well as you.

Personally, I think below 12 months is too young for night weaning and I'd concentrate on tanking her up in day instead. Try offering a feed every 2 hours in the day and use breast compressions to keep her interest. How is her daytime feeding now? Is there a chance that she's making up her feeds at night because she's busy in the day?

Honestly I’d forget about bottles. They’re a pain, and trying to force it can be distressing for everyone.

Increased night waking can be an issue when they first start weaning as you’re replacing calorie dense milk with a bit of fruit or veg, which is bulkier so they end up taking less milk, and therefore less calories.

Re. The gym, you’ve got a nearly a month if you want to start in the new year. She’s 6 months, so get her eating yoghurt, cheese, cereal, pasta, and other calorie dense foods. Get a routine going so you can get as much milk and food down her in the day.

In a month you should be at a stage where if you go out and she’s hungry, her carer can give her a yoghurt or other snack, rather than a bottle.

I was in a similar situation, but mine went into nursery at 7months. Instead of bottles they gave her solid snacks with the older children, and she’d bf 3 or 4 times at home. I sent bottles in for the first couple of months, but she never took them so we stopped bothering.