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July 2016 #3

491 replies

primarynoodle · 08/11/2016 19:40

Hello all! Can't believe we're on thread 3! Let's kickstart with a then and now photo :)

Here's Annie at 4 months 4 days

July 2016 #3
July 2016 #3
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Bluebell20 · 25/12/2016 08:17

Haven't had time to read anything but merry Christmas everyone! We've had a crazy week with Ruben vomiting blood for three days - thought it was coming from him but turned out to be coming from me. God knows what is going on there but I'm on antibiotics in case it is mastitis. I don't buy it personally but I'm taking the tablets and thus far the bleeding seems to have stopped.

Anyway! Hope you all have a lovely day with the babes. We might treat Ruben to a bit of steamed carrot today. What a lucky boy, haha!

BeauticianNotMagician81 · 25/12/2016 19:14

Just a quick message to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. We have had an amazing time so far. MB is a delight, T is super excited as it's the first year he understands. I love my completed family.

I have appreciated everyone's support on here this year. Here's to many more memories to share with you all Smile

Cookiesandcoffee · 25/12/2016 21:34

Will catch up but a very Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you are all having a lovely first Christmas with your babies x

beckslovestimmy · 25/12/2016 22:33

Merry Christmas guys. What a whirlwind of a day. Benny has been crawling around all day and hardly slept. DD has had a fantastic tone as it's the first year she's understood and has been so excited for weeks. Hope you've all had a lovely day xx

julf · 27/12/2016 00:00

Happy Christmas everyone! To echo what others have said, you ladies have been an amazing support through some really challenging times. Thank you so much. I feel quite emotional when I think about all the various things we've been through together over the last year or so. Hope you're all enjoying time with loved ones.

Anna - big hugs to you especially.

Primary - your hair?! 😱 Are you pleased with it? How much did you chop? Will you put a pic on fb?
Gosh, sorry to hear about your burns. Are they healing ok? Did the bottle explode while filling it?
That's very brave going on a non-baby-cinema cinema trip. Glad you enjoyed it and it all went smoothly. Actually, when I went to baby cinema about ten days ago, J just slept and fed - and yet somehow it hadn't occurred to me to go to "normal" cinema.

Sunday - do all your favourite things begin with B?!

Rolly - glad Raffy enjoyed the Christmas party and did lots of flirting!
How was the theatre in the woods?

Bluebs - shocker about Ru vomming blood. That happened to a friend of mine, who hadn't realised she had bad mastitis. Are you very sore? Hope both recovered soon. Poor little Ru, and poor you.
Did Ru have the carrot? Bet he enjoyed that - makes a nice change from blood 😝

beckslovestimmy · 27/12/2016 08:20

Morning ladies I'm kinda glad Christmas is over. It was lovely but it'll be nice to get back some normality.

From today I am going to start the weaning thing properly. I've been doing lunch sporadically and Ben's seems to enjoy it so I'm going to add in breakfast too. I think this will possibly make him drop a bottle so he's down to 4 milk feeds. I can't remember eat I did with DD at all but I thought I'd better start properly before she goes back to school.

It's so funny seeing him crawling everywhere now. Mostly out to the kitchen!! (Maybe he's trying to tell me something!!!)

julf · 29/12/2016 13:45

Ha ha Becks! Made me chuckle! Good luck with the weaning. We've been experimenting sporadically, but now we're going to start it properly, with new foods every three days. Jasper got some kitchenware for Christmas, including really lovely Peter Rabbit stuff. And some fun tiger/monkey bibs which have kept DH entertained doing animal impressions Grin Looking forward to putting it all into action!

sundaysunday · 29/12/2016 14:58

Hi all! Hope you all enjoyed Xmas and are enjoying this weird limbo week between Xmas and new year. I have to say I will be glad once DH goes back to work next week! Our loose routine has got a bit too loose for my liking and I'd like to get E back into a better rhythm and earlier bedtime again. We started weaning too although it's difficult at the moment to get the timing right to feed him solids when we are out visiting family so often.

Primary that's great news that DH got the all clear from the scan although not so good if he's still having symptoms.

Bluebs Has your bleeding stopped now? Must have been a very worrying time when you thought it was coming from Ru. I can see why you are sceptical about it being mastitis, I would have thought you'd have felt really unwell if it was that. Your breastfeeding saga goes on and on!

Julf I only managed 2 of my 3 'B' treats as there was no Bailey's to be found :(

beckslovestimmy · 29/12/2016 21:20

Well weaning is going well we're on to breakfast and lunch and 4 bottles of milk this has brought bedtime forward to 7:30-8 now which is nice. I'm enjoying the weaning Julf, we've got some cute bibs and Ben enjoys covering them with his food. Some of the faces he makes are so funny too.

Poor Ben has been struggling with his teeth but finally his 2 front teeth have broken through. I got some bongela teething gel today and had to use it before we got to the checkout poor thing.

AnnaT45 · 31/12/2016 03:34

becks we are struggling with teeth too. G is bloody miserable and cries a lot. I find nurofen a god send when it's bad and bonjela is awesome too! Can't believe the crawling! Love it. Ah yah to weaning!! I'm going to start when we are back in our routine a bit. sunday I'm with you! It's all over the shop at the moment with Christmas etc!

I hope you all good Christmas'? I did but DMIL was poorly and had to have an emergency dr app. She asked DH brother to take her but his wife hit the roof... said she couldn't cope for an hour on her own and it would ruin the day Confused she was cooking lunch for the two of them and a toddler. DMIL ended up taking herself which involved a 20 min drive there whilst really unwell. I was furious as DMIL provides with them with a lot of support, more than we get. She has depression but is refusing to get it sorted despite a lot of support from us all for therapy etc. If she can't cope with her own child for an hour whilst a close family member needs help for a medical emergency then she is seriously ill. But she refuses to sort it. I appreciate this may come off as unsympathetic on my behalf but this has been going on for years. They get so much support and I feel like I can't ask for any help inspite of not having my mum (her mum has the child one day a week so she can have a break...) anyway rant over! I've decided to keep my distance from them now as I can't invest any more energy in trying to help.

G's sleep has gone to shit with teeth and now another cough and cold Angry im so exhausted but good thing about DH being around is he helps with dd1 and I can nap! She is now sitting on her own though! Hurray! And I did give her a little taste of food and she loved it! Just need to get going with it now!

July 2016 #3
AnnaT45 · 31/12/2016 03:37

I should add we were hosting for 16 and I have two small children so DMIL didn't want to ask us but I wish she did as I hated the fact she went on her own, she is widowed.

beckslovestimmy · 31/12/2016 10:45

Someone is meant to be napping!!!

July 2016 #3
beckslovestimmy · 31/12/2016 22:21

Happy new year to all you lovely ladies, your beautiful babies and your families. Here's to an amazing 2017!

Cheery1 · 31/12/2016 22:46

Happy New Year mummies! Thank you so much for all the chats and support and snorting-laugh-out-loud posts over the last year. You've kept me sane on more than one occasion. So sorry I don't post more, I'm a bit of a lurker. Much love and happiness to you and your beautiful bubs for 2017 xxx

Cheery1 · 31/12/2016 22:48

P.s. Missed Christmas on here and in life to mastitis and infections! I wasn't being a Scrooge, honest! X

lanalawr · 01/01/2017 11:19

Happy New Year! Hope 2017 is kind to you all.
I missed Christmas too cheery because of family craziness so a belated Merry Christmas too.

Cheery1 · 01/01/2017 12:24

Glad it wasn't just me lana!

julf · 01/01/2017 22:16

Hello all! Happy new year!

Sunday - sorry you're struggling with the lack of routine. Here's 🥂 to 3rd January! 😄 Shocker about the lack of Baileys 😂

Becks - poor Ben with his teeth! How does he look now that they've poked through - really grown up? J's are just under the surface and making their presence very much felt. It'll be weird when they finally show through - I wonder if he'll look really different with them.

Anna - poor Grace teething too. But hurrah for sitting up and enjoying food! Glad you're enjoying the process too.
It's so frustrating when someone won't get help when they clearly need it. I think you're probably right just to step back if there's nothing you can do - you've got enough on your own plate already.
I hope your MIL is better now?
Crikey - hosting for 16 - are you crazy?! We hosted my parents and that was plenty!

Cheery - lovely to hear from you.

Things here are really good at the moment. DH is finally really onboard with the whole having-a-baby thing. He's been having lots of fun with J over the last week or so, and being really lovely/sweet with him. He was the first person to make J have a giggling fit, which was absolutely the cutest thing to watch. He's proactively seeking out time with J i.e. not just taking him when I ask him to, but voluntarily taking him so that he can hang out with him. We've been having a laugh singing silly songs together. And he's been really supportive/comforting to J when he's teething-crying. He's also been saying how much he's looking forward to playing sports and going to museums and reading books etc with J when he's a bit older. And the other day he told me that he's now really glad we have J. Which was so lovely to hear (especially as no-one likes admitting when they've been wrong). It's made things even more fun for me, because it means I can share my enjoyment/excitement with DH properly, rather than J being like my own individual hobby/project (which is how it's felt for the last few months). We can really enjoy spending time as a three, and we're much more relaxed now as a couple too. I feel like a huge amount of pressure has been lifted from me.

From a practical perspective, starting J on solids will be much more fun now, rather than just a messy ordeal that I need to struggle through. I'm looking forward to it. Tomorrow we're trying green beans.
We're also starting J with some sleep training. Not leaving him to cry on his own, but staying with him and shush/pat/tummy-rubbing him while he grizzles himself to sleep. We did it for a nap this morning and it worked beautifully - it only took 11 minutes. I can probably count on one hand the number of times J has napped indoors over the last couple of months, except when I've fed him to sleep 😬 This evening I've caved and fed him to sleep. But I think if I can keep at it with the shush/pat/tummy-rub approach for his morning naps, hopefully he'll get used to it and we can start to apply it to his evening bedtime too. We're also giving him more of a routine pre-bedtime. I'm feeling pretty positive about the whole thing, partly because this method of sleep training is one that I feel comfortable with, and partly because DH is onboard and actively engaging with it, which makes a huge difference to both its chance of success and my confidence. If it works, it'll be nice to have our evenings to ourselves again, particularly now that we're getting on really well again. And it'll be good to be able to give J daytime naps without being outside with the pushchair - my default position for the last few months has basically been to leave the house by 10am and generally stay out all day - which makes it very hard to do housework / emails / read a magazine etc!

We had a nice Christmas, hosting my parents for a couple of days (very cosy indeed in our small flat!), and a fun New Year hosting ten friends for the evening. Poor DH is looking forward to going back to work for a break - he's the household chef and has pretty much spent the last ten days cooking! Sterling effort.

J has developed enormously over the last couple of weeks. He's an absolute hoot. He's giggling and making loads of different chatty noises. And really studying things, and picking them up. He loves things that he can see/touch/hear simultaneously, e.g. wrapping paper. And we've discovered a couple of really fun games, including the Light-Switch Game (self-explanatory?) and the Napkin Game (put napkin over J's head for a few seconds: "Where's J gone? Where is he? There he is!" which is apparently the funniest thing ever). Every day is a new adventure and I love it.

Hope the rest of you are well and had a restful/enjoyable Christmas period.

Hoping to see a few of the old names back here in 2017 - I miss you guys! Special shout-out to Ellizardo, Pulpi and Thom - hope you're doing ok and enjoying your babies.

For those of you who have smartphones but haven't downloaded the Mumsnet Talk app, please can I plead that you do? It makes it so much easier to keep active on the thread, because you can quickly flick onto it whilst doing other things e.g. pushing the pushchair or feeding the baby or using the loo 😀

Jxx

Bluebell20 · 02/01/2017 07:57

Cookies ooo I've not had Aunt Flo yet. Really enjoying the lack of her! Book is going slowly but I've got a writing day today. I'm determined to finish it! So sorry about the burns, and about the kids being poorly. Were they better in time for Chrimble day? Also really sorry hear that DH was being an arse - I hope he has got his act together now and found some Christmas spirit. I also have been having a tough time with DH, but we managed to get things back on track before Christmas. A lot of it was simply to do with the pressures of being parents. It is such a cliche but we weren't spending enough time together - we were just tag teaming looking after the babe! DH's Christmas present to me was family National Trust membership, so we can start planning some nice trips out together.
Thanks for the support with breastfeeding! It has been a monster journey. I have half heartedly tried to start a blog because I would like to share some of the things I've found out with other mums, but I'm struggling to work out how to balance openness with anonymity. Parenting blogs seem to work best with lots of photos, which I am not willing to share with all and sundry really.

lana 6-9 month clothes feels like a big jump to me too - I think maybe partly because we were given so few of them when he was born. So it's like confirmation that we're past the initial stage!
Ha to my next book title! Love it.

julf on time passing, DH pointed out yesterday that we probably only have 17 more Christmases before Ru leaves home! Wahhhhh! Ooo lucky you finding an activity cube in a charity shop. My sister in law has one and it is excellent. Well, the charity shop book presents went down really, really well, but I wasn't brave enough to suggest an entire charity shop Christmas.
Has Jasper kept up the napping? Ruben napped a bit over the Christmas period because he was a bit poorly and exhausted, but we are back to only napping in the car now. I'm going to try again at putting him down in the day. I have to get him to nap!
Love the idea of putting a bit of expressed milk in a sippy cup. I shall have to try that. I lost 300ml of milk that I expressed at the in-laws' because I didn't have any way of freezing it and transporting it home - very annoying.
Thanks for the infant sleep app advice - I shall check it out. DH wants to sleep train Ru but I don't because the crying is like torture to me - and also, most nights he goes to sleep on his own quite happily so I figure when he's crying, it's for a reason.
That's interesting about your friend not knowing she had mastitis. I thought you had to have the red/swollen/hot boob for it to be that, but other than a couple of mild stinging pains when he fed I had nothing. I'm glad that I might not be pointlessly taking antibiotics! The blood vomming was quite scary, especially as his poo also turned black. But he seemed so happy I knew that nothing could be seriously wrong with him.
Breastfeeding thriller - yes!!!!! Actually I think an NCT antenatal thriller has potential......
Delighted Jasper had such a nice time swimming! I took Ruben yesterday and he was far more smiley than usual. I was brave too and 'swam' him underwater on my own. He's very comfortable in the water now - the swimming lessons have been fantastic and I'm glad I've booked for next term. They are the highlight of my week. I love that Jasper has gym membership! I have been slightly naughty and not asked at my gym about paying for Ruben. I have membership and I just turn up at reception with him on my hip and say I'm going swimming. I guess if there was an issue they would tell me!

anna glad you had a nice, if aborted, night out! Hope you had a lovely Christmas too. Those first few after losing someone are so hard. Hugs to you.
Really glad you got such a nice comment on feeding from a stranger. I had a retired midwife approach me in a cafe to say something similar and it really made me beam. I've not had any negativity about feeding in public actually, which is rather nice.

MrsR I like the family secret Santa idea too! It might make the men in our family actually take some responsibility for choosing presents!!! Ru's feeding is definitely better after the second snip. Properly comfortable (except when he bites me with his little razor tooth). Shame I'm about to start weaning really, haha!

becks I can't get over Ben's crawling! Hilarious and amazing!

sunday did you start weaning? We did on Christmas Eve - he's had a suck on peppers, steamed carrots, celery and cucumber so far. Managed to break off a tiny bit of carrot but spat it back out. Mostly he kept dropping things on the floor, and we had three dogs around so I didn't want to give them back to him. It will be easier at home where I can put the highchair on a clean sheet. The highchair is revolutionary though - so much easier than wrestling him on my lap during meals. DH's aunt also gave us a highchair toy which suckers to the tray - very handy.

.........

Okay so I wrote all that over a week ago I think. Where does the time go?! Going to post then catch up with the new stuff.

Bluebell20 · 02/01/2017 08:52

Anna sounds like a really difficult family situation there. I totally get your frustration. Your poor MIL. I hope she's feeling better now, and I agree it sounds like keeping your distance from SIL is a good plan. CRIKEY 16 for Christmas?! You are hardcore, lady. Gorgeous pic of Grace, too.

becks augh what a cutie! I just bought those vests too - I was so thrilled to find something for boys in bright colours! And I love the little robots on them :)

Cheery my god, still we are mirroring each other with the breastfeeding woes! Although yours sounds like proper mastitis, not just my random bleeding/stinging situation. Hope you are feeling better now my lovely.

julf it is so, so lovely to read about the journey your DH has come on with Jasper. You have done amazingly well through such a difficult time, and I am so glad that DH now sees what a total gift J is to your lives :)

Top work on the sleep training. I have to do something about R in the daytimes because he literally will not sleep in his cot in the day. Normally he doesn't nap much at all, as I've already mentioned on here, but yesterday he slept on me on the sofa for THREE HOURS!!!!! I woke him up in the end because I was worried! I chain-watched Downton Abbey which was all well and good for New Year's Day, but if he's going to repeat this wondernapping experience then it would be great if I had, like, my body free to do stuff.

YES to sudden shoots in development! R does the Muslin Game (as you may imagine, rather similar to the Napkin Game...) - totally hilarious when he tries to pull his bib by mistake and can't work out why the cloth isn't coming off cruel mother! The other day he developed this game - he started 'hiding' by rolling over away from us... Then waiting till we said "Where's R gone?" before rolling back over very quickly with a MASSIVE grin on his face, as in, 'Surprise! Here I am!' He did it quite a few times in a row, and it was so cute I almost died on the spot.

Weaning is good fun, although I think maybe only 0.045g of food has been swallowed, if that. I have now learned to roll his sleeves up before we start, so that he doesn't mash parsnip into the fabric in his food-banging excitement. Also going to start putting a cloth under his highchair so that I can just shake it out and then pop it in the washing machine at the end of the day. Broccoli was particularly good, as he found it easy to hold, but by the end of dinner the floor looked like a green snowstorm had passed over.

DH seems to be having a hard time adjusting to being a parent, although not in all ways. He is great with R - clearly loves him, and is WAY better at getting R to laugh than I am - but he finds looking after him solo for more than half an hour a bit boring, and he's frustrated at how much it's impacted on his 'free' time. He thinks that there must be some kind of hormone that makes me happy to be self-sacrificing where R is concerned that men just don't get - I don't know if this is true. I personally think he will be a lot happier in three months or so, once R is weaned and can go longer periods without needing me for milk. But for now it's hard. It's hard to not take it personally - I feel a bit like R and I have ruined his life, that we're holding him back from what he wants to do, and although I know that's not how he means it, it's very difficult to see it any other way. And given that R wasn't my idea (!!!!!!!!) I find it all a bit annoying. Particularly because if I ever mention that I'm frustrated that I'm not getting enough done, DH just says, 'Well, you wanted to be a mum'!!!!! I also feel that we are tag-teaming looking after R, and not spending enough time together. DH disputes this and says we spend loads of time together (citing Christmas as an example - except that that was with his family so I feel it doesn't count...), but I really feel that eating breakfast and dinner together, and sitting beside one another in the lounge doing separate things (him researching stuff to do with his hobbies, me replying to messages / knitting / reading) isn't really quality time! After a load of tears (from me of course) last night, we have decided to plan an exciting holiday in Europe for late spring, which has really cheered me up as we never treat ourselves - the last time we went on a proper, fun holiday together was Christmas 2011 (we went to India and it was AMAZING). I have also vowed to book in nice things for us to do at the weekends. We are both really precious about our time, and about being as productive as we possibly can be with it (see: me writing a novel on maternity leave), but I think we need to invest some of that time in each other otherwise we will become more of a parenting partnership than a relationship, and I really don't want that!

To summarise: parenthood is tricky, yo.

I am going to make more of an effort over the next few months to take R and I away for a couple of days at a time, visiting friends. This will give DH a break and also give me the chance to catch up with my mates in a way that I haven't really for the last six months. I've discussed this with DH and he thinks it's a great idea. However, I need advice from you lot! I'd far prefer to do my travelling on trains, and I'm certainly not brave enough to drive into London, but what do you guys do about travel cots at the other end? I suppose I could jam it under the pram at a pinch, but it is really heavy and long and I don't know if the bag carrier thing would take it! Also, how do you travel on the tube with a pram? Is that even possible?!

Bluebell20 · 03/01/2017 07:30

Quite a bit of blood with my breast milk on the left side again this morning. Ruben vomiting reddy/pink stuff again. I'm wondering if it could be his latch? I am so pig sick of this :(

MrsRolly · 03/01/2017 10:56

Happy New Year and congratulations to us all for (nearly) surviving the first six months of babyhood!

Anna, I totally get exactly what you mean I have a very similar situation (no kids though) in DH close family and it is very draining, I too am taking a step back as I love them all but I strongly feel their enabling is making the situation worse.
How is your sleep? Ours is still not great although without the school runs we have been having slightly lazier mornings
16 is an amazing effort for christmas! We had 10 to eat which is our smallest number for a few years but 15 in and out over the day! I would always rather host than go anywhere so for us it is perfect!

Blue - My DH is the same with the free time infact we have had another conversation over it. He says he feels trapped as he has all this pressure (put on himself) to be a good dad and still be able to pursue his creativities... Should never have married a creative type ;) as have said he is currently writing so it is making sure he has time.. We haven't cracked it yet since Raffy has been born but as Niamh got older it obviously got much easier. He is an amazing dad really hands on, involved and far better than I am at many games and craft bits but needs his time that he can see is for him. That being said he is also bloody brilliant at procrastination so if he doesn't take the time he is given and use it wisely I will call him out on it. He is the type of person who gets very focussed on the here and now so sometimes even just a summary of what we have achieved ie since Raffy has been born or over the last year may give him some perspective.
As Ru gets older and more mobile the boredom will disappear! It sounds similar to what we have here and I know that DH doesnt think we have ruined his life but there are days and headspaces where he thinks he should be able to get more done. We have talked about it alot and the only way for us is if DH talks about it and doesn't get himself into a depressive mood over it as it helps nobody!
He did pull out a belter the other day which my hysterical laughter and teasing of him for the rest of the day I think may have stopped. I had to go to sainsburys on new years day to get his mum some veg for her roast (she doesn't drive and he was wayy to hungover) and Raffy was asleep so I said I would leave him sleeping on DH. He said oh yes ok you go and enjoy some freedom... I was like yes my exact idea of freedom is a 20 minute drive into town to the shop and home. Silly man ha
Date nights are brilliant we always used to have them on a friday night we barely ever went out but we would do something just the two of us with no other distractions even if it was just cooking something we wouldn't normally have for dinner. When Niamh was very little DH and I used to play mario (I was awful) and it was actually quite fun (with wine) They have fallen by the wayside as we have had more freedom as N is so much bigger now (and fast getting her own social life) but I may suggest we reintroduce them. Although with gigging Friday may not be the best day!
I have taken Raffy away a few times but to be honest he actually so rarely spends a whole night asleep apart from me I have just let him co sleep. I would ask friends who you are going to stay with if they know anyone with a travel cot you could borrow. Ours is not train friendly if it is you and Ru going.
Also hooray for holidays!! I have always refused to go back to work in January unless we have a holiday booked!
We are doing a three week Euro trip in our van in April so I have that to look forward to and plan. It suddenly seems a lot closer now we are in January!

No idea re the blood but what an absolute shit it has come back!

Julf, I have the app on my ipad but last time I checked there wasn't an android version?

So lovely to hear about your DH, so much easier to have support and now you can really enjoy him together. It gets so much more exciting from here!

We also play the muslin game here, I love from this stage onwards as you really start to see personalities emerging even more!

Weaning, we gave Raffy some baby porridge (made with water) yesterday and exactly the same as when we gave him formula (about 2.5 hours later) vomit like you wouldn't believe. We were also in the pub so it was quite a scene (wink) for the mid point of our walk. Poor kiddo so now I am wondering about his belly processing whey powder? I am going to give him some apple for the next few days and see how that sits. We have a few weeks until he is 6 months so not too worries but hoping it is an aversion rather than an allergy.
I would like to get him on nearly 3 meals by the time we head off adventuring in April as it will bring more routines to his van life days!

I am starting to think about sleep training here and i had a thought last night, if Raffy was asleep on his front i know he would sleep away from me in his cot. At 6 months we are nearly past the main part of the SIDS risk and he can roll front to back but he doesn't often roll back to front yet so I am going to leave it. But I am hoping that will help. I am going to move his cot at the end of January I think into his room (or I may never let him leave) and I am going to pick up my old nursing chair from my friend which will make any night feeds while he is in his own room comfortable!

We also have the baby attached daytime naps I am trying to put him down more often but to be honest somedays I would prefer a baby that has slept even if I have to sit still. Now the festive madness is over I am going to begin working towards a routine.

sundaysunday · 03/01/2017 20:39

Becks that sounds like a great feeding routine especially with the early bedtime. I'm hoping to get something similar going with E once he's out of his late-rising Xmas habit! Are you giving finger foods or purees at the mo? Just checking out what everyone else is trying for tips!

Anna wow, you definitely deserved a glass of wine after cooking for 16 people! I get in a panic if I've more than 4 to cater for. It's a shame your MIL didn't want to bother you but you can see why she thought you'd have too much going on. G looks like she's got that spoon under control!

Julf it's lovely to hear your dh has turned a corner in his relationship with J and it sounds like it's good for your relationship with each other too. I'm joining you in some light sleep training, my issue is that E takes his daytime naps on me and likes a good cry for 5 mins before going to sleep. My aim is to get him to sleep in his cot for naps. Just don't know whether to go straight into trying to settle him in the cot, or do it step by step and try settling him in my arms and transferring to cot once asleep. Haven't had any success today, I was a soft touch and wanted to cuddle him!

Bluebell we love the highchair, we always sit at the table for meals and E loves sitting at the head of the table keeping watch over us. Regarding your travel plans- it's been years since I travelled in London but from what I remember there are some tube stations that aren't pushchair accessible so I think forward planning is key. Taking a normal travel cot under the pushchair would be a right faff, mine weighs a tonne! I'd look into a pop up one, I don't know what they are like particularly the mattresses, but worth investigating something more portable.

Mrsrolly Your euro van trip sounds very exciting, what stops have you got planned? I'd always fancied the idea of a road trip holiday round France perhaps hiring a boat to travel up the canal du midi. I think our holiday will be UK based this year, mat leave budget permitting!

On weaning, we are doing breakfast and lunch but he's still having 5 or 6 9oz bottles! And doing this weird thing where he wakes for a small top up of milk at about 10pm every night although he's only had a bottle an hour prior- anyone got any ideas how to change this? I'm thinking of giving solids in the evening instead of lunch but I'm cautious of giving too much because we only started weaning just over a week ago. We've been doing mashed veg at the moment because he's only just turned 5 months and I'm a bit scared to try blw but also we needed to make sure he was actually eating something to get his weight up. I'm enjoying choosing what veg to give him next and so far he's eating everything. We are trying parsnip and broccoli this week so we'll see how he takes to stronger flavours. I'll have to be brave and try some finger foods too.

And happy new year everyone too x

julf · 03/01/2017 21:09

Evening!

J has been making in-pain squealy noises over the last few days, and writhing/twisting around a lot. It looks like tummy ache. I don't know if it is actually his tummy or whether, because twisting around is one of his new favourite hobbies, he's employing that for any type of pain e.g. teething/boredom. He's also been doing a lot of work windy-pops which would suggest it's tummy-related. And he's also got a rash (which is highly unusual for him - he's been very lucky to have had clear skin so far) - it's on his face and tummy. Any thoughts? I haven't given him anything other than my normal milk in the last week or so, and I don't think I've eaten/drunk anything unusual myself. I'll take him to the doctor tomorrow, but just thought I'd ask here in case anyone had any experience/knowledge...?

For those who've started weaning (or have older children), did you use plastic sheeting under the high chair, and if so, where did you get it?

Bluebs / Rolly / Sunday - Thank you (and everyone here) for all your support during my long and difficult journey with DH and J. I don't want to assume it'll all be plain sailing from here, but certainly things are unimaginably better than they were.

Rolly - that's hilarious about your 20 minutes of freedom! I hope you let your hair down 😉
Not sure about Android, sorry.
Good luck with your routine and the sleep training. Keep us posted re how it goes.

Sunday - foodwise we've done soft or steamed vegetables, cut in sticks. Cucumber, carrot, broccoli etc. Haven't tried purée yet, but will probably do a mixture.
I think we're advised to introduce new foods at breakfast/lunch rather than in the evening, in case it triggers a bad reaction which you might not notice at night
Re naps, if I were you I'd skip to settling him directly in the cot, rather than transferring once asleep. But make sure he's definitely sleepy first. And stay with him and rub/pat and shush him until he's asleep. I don't think transferring him once asleep will (in the longer term) make any difference to his sleep routine.

Bluebs - how's the boob-blood this evening?

I'm sorry your DH is struggling to adjust. The "ruined his life / holding him back" feeling is awful - I can sympathise so much (although it's no longer the case for me, luckily for me). The "well you wanted to be a mum" comment is infuriating. I used to get similar from DH during pregnancy, which basically closed down any attempt I made to get any sympathy for sore back/hips/etc (which was why you ladies were such a godsend - I had no-one else to moan to on a daily basis). Luckily DH hasn't used that line recently.
I'd normally be deeply sceptical about the idea of a self-sacrificing hormone, but the post-natal hormones made me so loopy that I really wouldn't put anything past them. I also think that perhaps the more time you spend looking after a small creature (including the 9 months in utero), the more willing you are to give up anything for him...?
Can't remember if I said this before, but there's a very small part of me that felt a little bit miffed when DH sparked J's first massive giggling fit, rather than me. But really that's really very minimal compared with my delight that they're having fun together.
That's great about your Europe trip! Which countries do you think you'll aim for? Yes definitely good to spend quality time together at weekends too. National Trust will be lovely - good to do something where Ru is physically there but you can have a grown-up conversation whilst strolling. Do you have anyone nearby who can babysit, so you can spend time just the two of you too?

LOL'ed at your summary of parenthood!

Yes I think I can pretty much guess how the Muslin Game works... Ru's rolling peekaboo game sounds adorable!

London baby! Would be great to see you again if you're this way. I have done multiple train/tube journeys and it's really easy once you know how, even with weekend kit. I wouldn't drive a car in London with a barge-pole 🤔 - definitely go by train.
For the journey to/from London/wherever, it's worth booking a seat in the easy-access carriage. If there are no wheelchairs booked on, you can put your pushchair in the wheelchair space and sit in the seats right in front of that (which should be empty unless there's a wheelchair booked, and which non-wheel/pushchair users should give you priority for).
Take a massive rucksack, and carry all your light stuff in there, and put the heavier stuff under the pushchair.
Make sure your valuables (and anything you might need during the journey) are in your rucksack too, as you'll have better access to that whilst travelling - especially if you end up not being right next to your pushchair, which can happen on busier trains).
As J has been sleeping in my bed, I haven't bothered taking a travel cot (perhaps you could bunk up together as a one-off?) but I have stowed bouncy chair / doorway bouncer under the pushchair with no problem.
Buy nappies when you get there, don't transport them.
Always ask people for help up the stairs or onto/off the train. Having said that, normally you won't need to, because people just love to help. I've been repeatedly astonished by how helpful and friendly people (including Londoners) are to anyone with a pushchair, in a way I'd never seen/expected before. (And it's not that they're chatting you up - guys will happily tell you about how they've got a couple of children too and what an amazing job their wife is doing.)
Re tube stations, you can look at the tube map to see which stations have pushchair access. But I generally don't bother. I just go to whichever station I want and get someone to help me carry the pushchair up/down the stairs. TfL staff aren't allowed to carry the pushchair if the baby's inside (which is annoying if the baby's asleep and you don't want to wake him), but fellow passengers will.
You can take pushchairs on the escalators if you're careful - I don't know if this is officially allowed but I've never been stopped. When going up the escalator, just walk forwards and push the pushchair forwards so it's wedged nicely against the next step up, and then hold the handle quite high (maybe chin-height) so the pushchair isn't tilted too much. When going down the escalator, leave a bit of space after the previous people and then reverse very carefully onto the escalator so that you're standing below the pushchair and facing up the escalator. Encourage people not to get on the escalator immediately after you as it makes it trickier when you get to the bottom - you need a bit of space. (Generally they'll keep their distance anyway because you look like a dangerous loon). When you get to the bottom, reverse off carefully. Hope that all makes sense. It's easy(ish) once you've done it a couple of times... Having said all that (re escalators/stairs), it would of course be far more sensible just to stick to the easy-access stations, so please ignore my advice if you're not comfortable/confident about it.
I think that's all my top tips - let me know if you have any other specific questions!

If you do do a boob guru blog (please call it that!), can you post photos that only show you from the neck down? Makes it less personal/friendly, but solves the anonymity problem, which I can totally understand for professional reasons as much as personal ones.

When you swim Ru underwater, how long is it for? Like, about one second? Or can they last much longer?

Jasper has had a few indoor naps now. It is revolutionising my life - I can actually get stuff done like laundry with a bit of peace and quiet (and both hands)! Don't get me wrong - I do enjoy going out walking all day, but it wasn't very productive. I might even start following the news properly now!

Oh yes, I wouldn't let Ru cry to sleep if you think there might be something wrong. I'm letting J cry but only when I'm confident there's nothing wrong, plus one of us is always in the room with him, shushing and tummy-rubbing him or singing Twinkle Twinkle.

Incidentally, there's a brilliant version of Twinkle Twinkle on YouTube, with a cartoon owl, and there's also a song called Little Snowflake and another called Sweet Dreams (the Goodnight Song). They are all by Super Simple Songs and J is totally hypnotised by them - he goes completely trance-like and dozy. Last night I played them to him and we were both asleep within about ten minutes 😂

Ah Downton, how I miss it.

I decided to follow someone's advice and do boiled water in the sippy cup rather than expressed milk. First time was this evening in the bath, and he took to it really well. He immediately got the hang of what to do with the handles and spout, and he certainly took in some water even if not very much.

I cut J's nails with nail scissors rather than clippers for the first time today. OMG it is so much easier / less terrifying! Can't believe I've been struggling on with the clippers for so long. I wish I'd listened to advice on here weeks/months ago! Tonight when he fed, my "décolletage" didn't get scratched to bits!

sundaysunday · 03/01/2017 21:38

julf windyness is a sign of constipation for E. Could try an ounce or two of water if J hasn't been recently. Definitely take him to GPs for a rash though even if it's just to learn what's normal or not. E came out in a rash over Xmas which turned out to be a post viral rash from an illness we hadn't realised he'd had! He was totally fine with no sign of a temperature. Anything like this pic?

I think it'll be hard for us to put E down in his cot as he doesn't really do drowsy but I'm gonna try. He kind of just cries to release all his energy then just sleeps, like someone turned the power off!

Some great tips for bluebs for dealing with London public transport!

July 2016 #3
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