January 2016 - Hello babies!

[Nousername2015]

Thread to share our experiences and also have a chat to someone also dealing with lively babies at 3am!

elvi, you're doing a fab job. It will get better I promise. Although nights are still tough I can already see a big difference at day 12.

Elvi

I'd like to say it gets easier but I'm 3 weeks in and still experiencing the same.

I can definitely relate to the tears - I'm fed up of bursting into tears multiple times a day and when asked what's wrong I can only say it's because I'm so tired...

No home midwife visits here at all unless you make a specific request, just a trip to the clinic at 5 and 10 days.

It's going to be a sleepless night here, ds will not get off the boob or even remotely settle

Good news is that the mw did turn up today - also been transferred to Croydon elvi and she was lovely!

Bad news is we're having a very similar night. Baby has literally been feeding non stop since 7pm and won't settle. When he's not feeding he's crying and vomiting up all the milk. The only time he falls - and then stays - asleep is on my chest when he's 'done' but as soon as I move him he's screaming, throwing up and then wanting more milk. I nearly fell asleep with him on my chest just now but am so paranoid about sleep safety I just can't let myself do that.

Is this cluster feeding?!

Snap nousername! I don't even really mind not sleeping much but it's so hard trying to stay awake...

I'm so tired I only just realised that an earlier post saying 'a few of us suffered tears' refers to tears of the painful childbirth sort not crying tears!

Dreadful night here. DS finally asleep on vibrating bouncy chair but I can't leave him in there while I go to sleep (very poor head support) and he'll wake if I try to move him...

Finally got DS off just after 2, the total bitch side to this is having to then wake hin for feeds!
lily, that's cluster feeding. My favourite part being the bit where you think your nipples will fall off.
Hiw did everyone else get on?

my ds wakes up every 3 hours or just under and then once he's fed and changed he goes back to sleep but now for some reason he's not having it. he wants to stay awake. I have one long day ahead of me and want as much sleep as I can but he's not letting me. I swear he knows what he's doing and testing me haha

I'm like the walking dead. Or hobbling dead, with a big saggy belly, tenner lady and Cankles. My baby is nocturnal. 11 pm comes non stop crying and pooing. Fed every hour practically. (Squeaky sleep noises she makes are amazing though)

Luckily OH Calmed me down and helped with passing / decaf tea / crumpet making / nappy changing.

Can you die of sleep deprivation / nipple pain ?

She does just want to sleep on me but like you lily and cheese too scared about leaving her anywhere on me / in bouncy chair.

Ooh crumpets! Adding those to the shopping list.

My belly is horrible. It sounds vain and selfish but how my body has changed is the thing I'm finding tough to deal with being postpartum. The midwife gave us a sex chat the other day and I can't imagine DH ever wanting to go there again with he state of me and all he's seen!

anneli safe sleeping is terrifying, especially the way that all the guidance is worded. Do read up on safe co sleeping though, not saying it's the solution for you but there are ways to do it safely which provide some reassurance that something bad isn't going to happen once you put the baby down.

after trying to calm him down for nearly 2 hours I have given up and gone downstairs with ds so he doesn't wake up DP. got to go see his great nan today I'm tempted for him to go without me so I can sleep haha xD

Haha (typed with a completely straight face!), it sounds as though most of us have had a bad night - cluster feeder here too! I did manage to sleep between 4-7am and had an opportunity to sleep between 11-12 but couldn't drop off. The rest of the night has been spent picking him up and down on demand - he falls asleep on the boob, I put him down seemingly asleep and then he's awake within minute giving me the 'feed me' signals. Until he's in some sort pf routine I'm not going to set alarms to feed him. The night before, we were up all night feeding frequently, then he slept over a period of 4- 5 hours when we could get some kip. I'm sure doesn't matter if feeding isn't strictly 3 hours if he feeds regularly for the rest of the day.

I'm actually not sure if we have mastered the latch yet - I know we are supposed to do and he seems to start off with enough boob in his mouth and then his mouth seems to slip into just the nipple after less than a minute sometimes - I hope this makes sense? - so then I detach him and try to improve the latch but same thing happens. I thought I was doing it correctly until the mw told me the latch wasn't quite right - she was nice and not condescending, but I think since then I'm convinced that every latch probably isn't right. Going to ring for advice today as although we have had plenty of wet nappies, we haven't had a poo nappy for 48 hours now! Other than that no signs of discontent from him.

nousername feeling the same about the body, it's not vain at all. I know I will become more bothered about it when I feel less battered but I keep reminding self there is plenty of time to get back into shape. I am certain that our partners/husbands are so proud of us and so in awe of what we have achieved and the bundle of joy we have given them that they see beyond our flabby tums, sanny pads and complaints about sore undercarriages etc. In a months time I might set up a plan to re-establish fitness and figure out how much weight need to lose. Then I need to address these blimmin stretch marks - im thinking a tan will help!

lily you must live very close to me!

I've made the executive decision that I'm no longer eaking DS for feeds, he will let me know when he's hungry like he usually does.

Of course he's properly in the land of nod now and we've got visitors coming in less than an hour. I'm not waking him to wash or dress him, they can just put up with a slightly smelly baby.

Aww babies don't smell. He will be fine. Has your baby git tongue tie if he's slipping? There's amazing support near me for BF support I'm sure you'll get the hang of it with some help. X

We popped into a breastfeeding cafe this morning and now feel so reassured- they were so nice and helpful. They told me his latch is fine and the reason why his mouth is gradually slipping onto just the nipple is because he's working his way off when he's had enough. One of the reasons that prompted me to me a little concerned is because he hadn't done a poo for 2 whole days...well as soon as we arrived at the cafe he delivered a little package and DH had to take him off for changing! It's great how much postnatal support there is out there- I'm really impressed.

elvi your experiences sounds exactly like the first few days were for me! Feed a night then crash for 4/5 hours, no poo for 24 hours so I called a breastfeeding helpline - he pooed while I was on the phone to them!

I worry that DS isn't latching onto enough boob as his mouth doesn't seem too wide, but his mouth is tiny anyway and my boobs are 'ample' so I guess I shouldn't get too hung up on it. Got midwife coming to weigh him tomorrow so might ask.

T minus 11 days until the pump is coming out and we try to introduce a bottle feed.

What do your babies do. Do they aways sleep after a feed. I was led to believe they should be asleep at this age if not feeding. My mum said not necessarily. As my baby hasn't gained enough weight I worry if she's awake and not sleeping that she isn't satisfied. X

elvi I'm in Upper Norwood - would be interested to know what cafe you went to as I might pop in to one myself. Not convinced his latch is correct. He's been slipping down to the nipple too so good to know that could be normal but he's also been feeding for less and less time each feed - would just like to get it checked. Hope you get more sleep tonight!

firsttime my baby does sleep after feeds but he's only 5 days old, and I also don't attempt anything like winding or changing after a feed for fear of waking him...! Have you asked your mw/health vision for advice?

Body-wise I'm down to just 3 or 4 lbs over my pre-pg weight and my tummy has already shrunk loads - I'm obviously pleased but it's also a bit surreal that just 5 days ago I was so big! Think I must have lost nearly half a stone while pg. Now just need to stop stuffing my face with chocolate and biscuits and this could have been the best diet of my life...! I also now know what people mean about being proud of their bodies after birth. The jelly belly and stretch marks don't disgust me at all - they really do feel like battle scars!

I'm finding evenings harder emotionally - mornings feel constructive as I'm doing laundry and sorting stuff out while he sleeps whereas the evenings feel a bit endless and overwhelming. How are you all doing with the baby blues?

I've been totally overwhelmed to the point where I though I can't do this. Everyone says it gets easier. I haven't been out in 3 wks had our first trio today. A little walk. It was great.

Yes it was midwife thst led me to believe they should be sleeping or feeding don't know if I've misunderstood though.

PS lilyb- nobody tells you how hard it is? I felt like I as the only one finding it tough. Everyone else with young ones seems to breeze through it . I've felt so guilty about how hard I've found it.

I've just woken up from a 2 hour nap. There's been no sign of a cluster feed tonight yet. I'm nervous!

firsttimemum I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I think the thread so far shows that being a new mum isn't easy at all. Is there anyone in real life who you can talk to about how you're feeling?

firsttime I saw your thread over on the sleep board, it looks like you've had a really tough time of it so far. I was fully expecting it to be hard and know plenty of people who've struggled for whatever reason but that doesn't mean it's any easier to deal with. I'm trying to stay calm and relaxed, this is the reality now so need to deal with it, but I can see it's going to be hard going.

I'd second nousername's question, is there anyone you can speak to? You do sound like you have a lot of anxiety, perhaps a chat to your GP might be useful? And could you get to a mum and baby group to share your experience with others and get some peer support?
Finally my experience of mws is that they all have different opinions. If you're worried maybe ask your health visitor (if you've been discharged from mw care)?

Hope you're all getting some sleep right now. Just achieved a breakthrough as ds slept for 40 minutes in his moses basket at night... except that I had to spend the whole time with my hand on his tummy jiggling him a bit so couldn't sleep myself..

The fiirst few weeks are incredibly hard. This is my second dc so I knew what I was in for but it is still a shock. I remember after dc1 was born getting messages from people (without children) saying things like 'this must be such an amazing time for you' and 'enjoy every moment of this special time', which just made me cry as no matter how much I loved my baby, it felt like the most difficult time of my life, not the most special... hang in there though, it does get easier eventually.

Ds hasn't done a poo in over a week now (not since he was 3 days old) so have to have daily midwife/gp checks but no one's quite sure whether it's a problem or not...

I'm not anxious think I'm just honest as cheese and crackers says. I'm absolutely fine. Not sure why people think I need to speak to GP I am fine like Lily says just found it tough.