September 14 babies - bring on the weaning!

[KitKat1985]

New thread for the Sept 14 babies. :)

Just tried to put her down for a nap without swaddling. Massive failure She seemed fine for the first few minutes then started getting frustrated/angry/upset, which I think was because she was tired but couldn't go off. I tried everything, but it just didn't work. After last nights over tired hysterics I decided that she needed to get some sleep, so swaddled her. Did everything I usually do, but she couldn't go off. Tried rocking her, she fell asleep in my arms, but I couldn't lie her down. After much rocking and singing she is not asleep in my arms. I know I should put her down, but I'm scared in case she wakes. Not sure I cam cope with those hysterics two days in a row

Re swaddling: I also had to give it up recently. I was convinced he wouldn't sleep but he kept getting out by kicking legs and therefore lifting his weight off the blanket. Turns out he doesn't need the swaddle, I left him to it and he fell asleep. I'm really pleased because it was getting difficult and I was worried I'd be swaddling a toddler lol.

Re BLW: I've started in the past week. Just lightly steamed veg and also slices of Apple, pepper and tomato. Seems he's only swallowed some carrot because I found some in his nappy (yuk). He seems very frustrated at not being able to hold it to get it in his mouth though. It's very slippery once he's sucked on it a while. So I think I might have a go with a spoon as well as he seems eager to eat it but is struggling with the coordination to feed himself. I was keen on blw but now it's come to it I'm not so sure.

On the topic of food, what are people doing for meal times? I.e. Are you making sure you are somewhere with a highchair at lunch/tea time? What if you are at someones house who doesn't have a highchair? I'm confused how this works! None of my friends or family have children, it's probably a stupid question.

Oh team cross post :( sorry the no swaddle didn't work. Have you got something else that she associates with sleep? I use a dummy and a blanket which he snuggles I smush in his face into. Just trying to think of alternative sleep cues for you! Don't feel bad about naps in arms, we are in the middle of one now. I need him to be well rested because he's off to grandads for a couple of hours in a bit. So a nap with a mummy cuddle it is!

I managed to put her down.

She normally has white noise and her dummy to go to sleep. I cuddle her til her eyes are starting to close, then lie her down and shush and rest my hand on her head. I did everything like usual, other than no swaddling, she constantly pulls her dummy out and pushes my hands away. I tried taking the dummy away and not touching her and she got really upset.

This sleep thing is really getting to me. With the swaddling her day naps are pretty good and we are slowly moving towards self settling. At night she is still feeding 3-4 times and needs settling a few more time.

Has anyone ever paid for a professional sleep consultant?

DS has just tried to put my phone in his bottle warmer.

DH's reaction?

"Legend"

unimpressed

Team - Have you had a look at MN homepage? There's a sleep expert person answering questions tomorrow so you could maybe post a question there?

When I was googling sleep advice a while back in vain I found a thread in another site (babycentre maybe) where someone gave most of the advice that they'd got from a sleep advisor. I can't remember it exactly but for nighttime it was something like: don't feed in nursery, pitch black except an orange nightlight, no overnight feeds, don't remove from cot at all overnight just use a sleep word and pat/shush, no sleep aids at all (including dummy, white noise), if them wake in the night give them 10 mins or something before going in and don't get them out in morning until a certain predetermined time. That was the jist of it anyway, I know they'll all have different approaches but that seemed a common one

I was going to tey the not going in at night thing but then b started rolling onto . tummy and not being able to roll back....that's not annoying at 4am at all.....

honey when out I either feed ds in car seat OR take bouncy chair if going to a friends. hopefully he will be in.a highchair soon.

Acorn, we've tried not taking her out of her cot, etc. she got herself into such a state she was hyperventilating, choking on her tears, etc. we need a more gentle approach with her unfortunately.

I could never not pick J out of the cot all night, she'd end up vomitting from the horrendous crying and screaming hysterics which begin within minutes of her waking up. I think sleep success has a lot to do with the baby plus a few things we can do like encourage them to find comfort in a dummy or a comfort blanket to aid self settling

Top, that sounds just like DD.

This sleep thing is seriously getting to me now. I have no idea what to do next, other than cry

oh my lord for a tired boy, it's taking a long time for sleep to happen tonight.....

I very much empathise Team. All we can do is try our best and also repeat the mantra "This too shall pass" (through gritted teeth ). I can't remember are you ff or bf?

I'm ff now due to her cmpa. It doesn't feel like this will pass, and I don't have enough mental strength to wait it out anymore. It's not said through gritted teeth, but through tearful eyes. Just poured myself a glass of wine

Team, everything looks worse with no sleep.
And wine makes everything look, well not better but at least you are drunk!

We've just given up on trying to get DS to sleep in the right place. He's co-sleeping with us more often than not at the moment because of how much he was night feeding. I'm more worried about his feeding (or lack of) than his sleep pattern so I don't care when he's feeding at the moment as long as he's doing it.

We have never swaddled here; DS was never happy with it. He does like his sleeping bag though as he's got enough restriction and comfort but able to move about still too.

His cousin was born earlier today. She and her mum are doing great. I'm relieved its a girl as I think its best for everyone in terms of the family dynamic due to MIL.

Re: Spoons. DS can be like that. This afternoon was a disaster - he didn't want anything. I am becoming learned in the act of distraction though. I do find whistling or using a noisy toy to keep his attention is helpful. We have also found that massaging his feet whilst giving him a bottle is a winner (2 person job - but that's how desperate we've got at times when we've been out and there's been too many exciting things out there).

Aw Team :( bless you. I'm having hell right now getting J to sleep. She even carries on crying when I pick her up. DH currently reading about CIO. Argh!!!

Team / Top you have my every sympathy. Jessica is also shit at nights and the tiredness is really starting to get to me. I think she's definitely having a growth spurt at the moment too. Since I've been gradually moving from bf to formula I can observe more what she's having. This evening from 5-7.30pm alone she had 400mls (14oz) which is a lot for her. Explains her wanting feeds every hour or two the last couple of nights, but doesn't make it any easier. I want to sleeeeeeeeeeep!!!! Definitively will consider controlled crying in a month or two if things are no better because this is really starting to break me too. xxx

Glad I'm not the only one struggling with spoons. Thanks everyone for the advice on BLW. xxx

Red - pleased to hear that DS's cousin has arrived safely. xxx

Kitkat what sort of things you are giving her?

Acron that sleep training stuff just seem unreasonable. It basically says get him to sleep as if they are adult. Well, what if they don't and they cried?

I do understand the idea of controlled crying and I do reckon J cries quite a lot throughout the day and night for attention but i'm not sure I could do CIO properly. It's so hard to hear your baby crying their heart out. She does have the very occasional good night so I'm just making the most of those and then using co sleeping to get me through the rest. If I can get a couple of hours evening time to myself I can cope alright but I start to go insane without that bit of me time! Hope you feel better soon Team & Kitkat keep at it, you're both doing a great job. X

I should have said I don't agree with that method of sleep training, it was more an idea of the sort of things a sleep advisor still recommend. We're still cosleeping and napping on me and I don't count how many night feeds but I'd guess at least 6, especially in the couple of hours before getting up. He just sleep about a centimetre away from boob and latches on as he pleases. I'm happyish to cosleep as I don't see an alternative that doesn't involve him getting upset. I read an article that said if they're left to cry then they realise you won't always be there so don't bother crying, even if they wake up scared or hungry so you think they're sleeping through but they're actually still waking and staying quiet. It's probably not true but it put me off anyway!

Team I'm sorry the no swaddling didn't work. I didn't realise it was your lo with the cmpa, I wonder if there could be something related to that upsetting her? I really feel for you anyway, I would also be hitting the wine and doing my own version of CIO on myself if I'd had as little sleep as it sounds like you have. No more suggestions but hugs

Acorn do you have a dummy? Dd insisted on sleeping about a centimetre away from me and periodically using me as a dummy throughout the night a while back and I was able to wean her off it by giving her the dummy for a few nights instead.

Whoever was asking about spoons: dd eats better from one when she's got her own to hold at the same time and if I hold one in front of her rather than trying to put it in her mouth. It's taken about 3 weeks but she finally gets that she needs to lean forward and open her mouth to eat something off the spoon. Some meals she doesn't have much at all but I don't make a big deal, just let her play with the food a bit and then hope she has more next time. I think offering it consistently and keeping the experience fun is key

Mine doesn't take a dummy, he does suck his thumb to try and soothe himself but it's a bit hit and miss. He's also CMPA and I think there is a link to being unsettled, though I'm not sure why that it of they're not getting any dairy at all. I tried the nutramigen formula mixed with milk free porridge and he's come up with eczema on his legs could be coincidence but I doubt it. I feel like I'll be bfing forever at this rate!

Acorn, the article you read was by Sarah Ockwell-Smith (who has books to flog). I've linked to it on the sleep board a few times.

She writes a ton of emotive pseudo-science which could basically be summed up as "all babies should be given a dummy from birth to aged 5 since they are unable to self sooth until school age"

Of course she doesn't say that. She says buy my book and I can teach your baby to sleep without crying. It'll take a very long time though. What I say is lets take Sarah's science about emotional brain development and use it as a case for stopping mothers feeling bad about giving their babies a dummy. Then no one needs to cry at all - not baby and certainly not Mums in desperation because their babies cannot self-sooth.

If I have another baby I'm going to try and persevere more with a dummy. It's too late now for J though. .

She's been asleep for 1.5 hours now which is great but I feel sad that a lot of crying and tears preceeded it. I long for a calm bedtime routine!

I hear you top. I don't know why dummies have such an unnecessary bad press. Actually I do, it's the message from dentists that does it. But I feel certain that when all is weighted up, the emotional benefit far outweighs teeth development with reasonable use of a dummy for sleep.

Team - Swaddling is like marmite, some babies love it and some babies hate it. Your baby loves it and that's fine. The signs you describe sound like over-tiredness, try starting sleep time earlier.