October 2014 // thread 5 // baby's first Christmas

[JeannePoole]

Welcome back!

(Dear greetings cards manufacturers: 'Baby's First Christmas' does NOT necessarily have to include Baby being liberally sprinkled with glitter from your shoddily-made merchandise.

Except that, as I'm rapidly discovering, it does.

Hi there, well we are all pretty in sync! I am trying to get DS down earlier too. He went down at 9pm tonight with the ceiling projector mobile & not too much bother. Tomorrow I will try 8:30. I'm planning on doing what I did with DD which is big cot in our bedroom until 6/7 months & then into own room. A regular bedtime of 7pm within the next few weeks & hopefully some time back with DH. Once his sleep routine gets a bit more robust then
DH will move back in to the bedroom. Can't wait for some night fumbling!
I will use a movement monitor once we get an earlier bedtime established & would like DS in same room until 6 months as it is recommended to guard against SIDS.

I'm faced with needing to re-shuffle other children's bedrooms and redecorate a boys room into a girls room before DD can go into her own bedroom.

I hate decorating. It'll be ages.

CJ yep I keep in the same room for SIDS reasons and sheer laziness - why mooch down the landing for night feeds!

Fate I hear you. I decorate like a fiend in pregnancy as I know it just doesn't happen after.

I sweat babymoose has been on the coffee tonight! Really struggles to fall asleep on me, lots of chewing :s but when he has hes seemed in a lovely deep sleep so get dh to move him to his cot and his arms and legs start flailing around like a mad thing and he wakes up! Hes never going to be one of those babies that you put down sleepy and they happily drift off to sleep :(
I really dont get why we cant move him when hes asleep, ive been staring at the clock sincd 7.30 im so sick of wishing my life away :(

a good pal of mine had a baby yesterday after a very difficult pregnancy. It turns out he has Pierre Robin syndrome and potentially Stickler syndrome, does anyone know much about these conditions and how I can best help her? A quick glance at Dr Google has scared me - it sounds really serious. Poor little man.

So sorry for your friend Yellow, she must be very worried. I don't know anything about Pierre Robin syndrome but from googling I see it is characterised by many of the palate symptoms my nephew was born with (although he never had this diagnosis).

A clef palate means that breastfeeding is not possible. He will need milk by specially adapted bottles (this could be expressed milk). DN's bottles had hard ends, not soft teats. They dribbled milk into his mouth since sucking was not possible. Ergo no dummy either.

He had an operation at 10 months to close the hole in the roof of his mouth. Until then his mouth, nose, ears and eyes were all linked directly. We got used to him sneezing milk from his eyes and nose, for example.

DN has also had issues with his hearing (wears hearing aid) and sight (wears glasses). They know him well in the Ear, Nose & Throat department at hospital.

He gets repeated ear infections. His voice is quite nasal and he has had some speech therapy to correct this. I don't know if this is related but DN also has had long term bed wetting issues (he's 9 now, still a problem).

Dr google also mentioned serious breathing issues, making sleeping a worry. This seems to be the most serious symptom your friend will face. It does suggest that the small lower jaw will 'catch up' in a year.

I realise my nephew didn't have the same syndrome as your friends child, but any information helps. My brother and sister-in-law were grateful of his clef palate diagnosis aged 10 days. Because it finally gave an explanation for his screaming (hunger - he could not feed by either breast or normal bottle, but they hadn't known this). At least your friend has her diagnosis early - so they can start coming to terms and helping their son sooner.

How can you best help her? My brother didn't like the way people recoiled from DN. I know a Mum of a downs boy who said similar, people are scared to hold the baby. Visit, ask if you may cradle the baby and coo over him like a 'normal' baby. Tell your friend something specific about how beautiful he is (he has such soft skin, gorgeous eyes etc). Tell her how lucky she is to have such an adorable baby.

Then let her cry. Ask her how she is and when she says OK say no, how are you really? At this very early stage she will have millions of questions that have no answers. Listen to her and all her worries and all her questions. If she has other children, offer to take them for a few play days so that she gets extra bonding time with the baby.

Big hugs for your friend.

Hmm, see this is where I think there might be issues. Baby down at 10.30 - an hour earlier than normal, and now awake an hour earlier (than the earliest..usual time).

Goats I'm here too! We are 4 hours earlier than usual! Although it suited me OK tonight as I'd left the heat on and the bedroom is like Hells firey furnace! Sorry, insensitive with your lack of heat issues.. Could that be causing the issue?
Yellow sorry to hear about your friends baby.

Fate cheers love that's incredibly helpful! Thanks.

Goats it might be one of those things you have to do at her pace? One lesson I definitely gleaned from my first is that most baby stuff is a real battle if you do it before they're 100% ready - yet super easy if you go at their pace - so if its a battle now, wait a bit. For us this was true with unswaddling, sleeping through, weaning onto solids, weaning from BF, moving to a big bed etc - stuff pals had shed blood, sweat and tears over by wanting to do early to stop 'bad' patterns continuing or because they wanted to tick milestones early - happened naturally if you waited a few weeks or a month or so.

yellow so sorry for your friend. goats same here! Although the reason we went go bed early last night is because the poor little man has a cold. Anyone got any tips for dealing with a blocked nose at 10 wks? Moses basket already titled and got saline drops but not used them yet. It is when he wakes up that it is worst and of course that wakes him up properly if you know what I mean.

yellow sorry to hear about your friend and her baby

Im feeling like the worlds worst mum as sent ds downstairs with dh after attempt no7 at being put down failed :s
Im starting to think hes never going to sleep if he isnt being half suffocated by a boob :(

Moose he will I promise and you might well actually MISS this time when he does. Nuts I know. I BF J to sleep for 18 months, now he just gives us a kiss and a cuddle and hops into bed. We're their world and source of all comfort for a short time in the scheme of things. But if its getting too much let DH have a go at settling him xx

Oh I'm happy to wait if I need to. You're right about not fighting it - having not ever napped properly during the day, she suddenly sorted it out herself wt around 10/11 weeks. It also needed me to get better at reading signs of needing a nap, so I suppose in a way, you sort it out together.

Horrendous blocked up baby this morning, which I guess explains some of the disturbed sleep too. Can you use vicks on a baby? Or, can I use it and sleep next to her?

Well, night one off earlier bed time has not been too bad- but we've only moved her bedtime from nine thirty ish to about eight, and only because she's been falling asleepthen the last few days and we've had to wake her to get her to bed, which has then made her grumpy and really hard to get down. She's done a 4 1/2 hour stretch at the end of the night rather than the beginning. Awake a bit earlier than normal but that might be because she's still really snotty, poor mite. Anyway, the experiment will continue tonight...

I think you can use olbas for children after 10 weeks (I think!) Or pop them in the room with you while you have a shower.
After an initial "I'm awake!!" Moment at 10:30ish he slept til 7. We do bath, feed and then bed downstairs with us between 7/8. Then nappy change and feed at about 10/30 upstairs when we go to bed. Seems to be working well for us so far!

We had an okish night for him but awful for me. He has his hospital appointment today for his slow weight gain and I'm so nervous!

Babymoose finally went down from 5-8 ... but kept me awake with some very loud wind! Lol amazed he didnt wake himself up with it

yellow so sorry to hear about your friend. We know babies with PRS through the cleft clinic and with the support offered today are thriving! It's usually obvious when you look at the chin as it's receded somewhat. Hearing can be affected too, but that's common with all children with cleft palate and is usually sorted through an op. I'm afraid I don't know much about SS.
In regards to breast feeding it is possible with a cleft palate, don't know why people think it's not? If it's an extremely wide hole then a mould can be fitted that is based on a cast of the mother's nipple. Our little girl had a cleft lip and during preg suspected cleft palate, and the hospital talked about the mould option because I was desperate to bf (she didn't have palate in the end) if it's too difficult the cleft team will provide her with Mam bottles specially designed for clefts. You can get different nipples/Teats for them, but the cleft team should advise her of this. She should have fantastic support from a cleft nurse and support of a paed/consultant. It's psychologically tough because she will no doubt be blaming herself and looking for reasons and answers. I appreciated my friends support so much during diagnosis and so on. The Facebook group of this thread continues to also be a source of fantastic support for me, so it's about making sure she has that type of support in the coming months. If she ever wants to pm me please let her know I'm more than happy to share our experiences, even though they are so different, we are going through same clinics/processes. Feel free to ask anymore questions as and when!!

Ps: the clapa website has real life stories about PRS. www.clapa.com/medical/pierre_robin/
There are usually local clapa groups to join too. V helpful to meet other parents in the same boat!

star and fate - such great advice.

wonder - when he valls asleep on you, how ofren do you hold him before the transfer? Only ask cos i have to hold for a good 25 mins or so before risking a very gentle transfer. Even then i sometimes have to repeat

happy - have you onsipdered a nasal aspirator (a.k.a. Snot sucker)? Its the most satisfying piece of equipment i've used all year ...

Sorry for all stupid typos

wonder sorry, meant to say how 'long' do you hold him for. Should not try to feed with one hand and type on ipad at same time!

yellow sorry to hear about your friend, she is lucky to have a friend there to support her.

Our sleep pattern for baby Adams has regressed a bit , sob!! Last night I was so tired and nothing worked he wasn't hungry, windy or needed changing after much rocking and fist waving we have figured he is teething! Is this normal already as baby is 12 weeks!!

"In regards to breast feeding it is possible with a cleft palate, don't know why people think it's not? If it's an extremely wide hole then a mould can be fitted that is based on a cast of the mother's nipple"

I have to say I don't know the intricate detail, but maybe it is to do with preparation to allow for a mould to be made?

DN couldn't feed (with breast or bottle) because he could make no vacuum in his mouth to suck. You can't suck if there is a hole letting air in. Milk had to be dribbled into his mouth, so cup feeding worked but was a lot of faff.

His clef was not diagnosed antenatal or even at birth. It took 10 days by which time DN need for nourishment was so desperate that there was no time to wait for a mould to be made, he's taken in next to no calories from birth.

So Yellow's friends early diagnosis is a good thing to sort these kinds of problems.

yellow sorry to hear about what your friend is going through

Night one in the big cot was not too bad. It was dps turn on night watch. I settled him at 7 he woke at 7.20 I re fed him and settled him back down by 8. He slept til 10.30 woke only had a tiny feed and fell asleep (grr hate it when that happens!) so he was wake again at 12.30 had a good feed went til 4.30 woke, fed, straight back down and stayed asleep til we woke him at 8.
So all in all not too bad.

I've come to the conclusion that r settles better for dp at night. I think because dp won't let him sleep on him he just thinks I've no chance of being allowed to sleep snuggled up so I may as well sleep in my bed!!

Off to sainsburys to do food shop for New Year's Eve. Got 6 adults and 9 kids for dinner what was a actually thinking when I agreed to this