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March 2013- the one where plonk gets married!

995 replies

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife · 13/07/2014 18:37

Perilously close to filling the old thread suddenly!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
somethingbeginningwith · 01/09/2014 18:24

Do we call you trump? Grin

The slide was amazing and scary. But by that point, you just think, awh to hell with it!

doli how's the sickness? And how are you finding the 2nd tri?

I want a name change!! Sad

Trumpelstiltskin · 01/09/2014 20:05

Yes. I am trump or trumpy. Or....ladytrumpington.

Good god I'm bored (hence the name change), where the jeff is everybody? You'll all come back the moment I step foot on that plane tomorrow, won't you

ecofreckle · 01/09/2014 20:13

Yes Trumpy Wink

ecofreckle · 01/09/2014 20:18

We're back home now after a long weekend in our yurt. I cannot remember much about the last few days posts.....Doli I do remember that sounds very trying. That sort of illness when away and when pregnant really super sucks. Good fluids tips there for toddles. Will remember that. I wholeheartedly agree about these small legged folk getting in the way of communing with nature in an energetic way. I find it almost frustrating to the point of screaming and if I finally can take to the hills unimpeded I scream for joy. You may have guessed I don't deal with this element of motherhood very well.

Alba great news on your flat and lottery. I remember you trying to make up your mind about the shared equity flat. It seems to have been right decision.

Oh, dinner arrived. Back later.
Just for Trumpy.

StormyBrid · 01/09/2014 21:26

Ah, Trumpy dearest, I would have been here to entertain you, but in all the kerfluffle of a giant spider trying to jump on the manager's head just before I left the charity shop this afternoon, I managed to leave my phone there. It feels very weird. Sort of like missing a limb. And of course it means I can't spend every fag break on mumsnet. Going back first thing in the morning to get it back. But how will I know when it's first thing in the morning? My phone is my clock and my alarm!

Hang on, a plane? Where are you going? I'm sure you've said, but my memory sucks.

The name change has reminded me of mine and Fartypants's favourite bathtime game. It's called Farty Jugs. It is not as bad as it sounds, honestly.

ecofreckle · 01/09/2014 21:39

So am now in bath with Gu mini pud chocolate orange. Any orange smartie fans should try them. Like a massive molten smartie. Smile

I remembered some of your significant news! Something and Trumpy are chasing Mo's ass in the running stakes. You go girls. And Trumpy if I'd seen a sign saying that I'd have bloody well punched it too. Nonsense.

Yummy when we use disposables (half the time now as like Trumpy I'm giving myself a bloody break some days) we are on naty size five which perform well overnight for us too for twelve ish hours. I guess it comes down to gender and how heavy a wetter they are. My girl barely touches water, maybe one sucky straw cup a day, so there's not much wee about. But before Betty worries, she does have the boob milk too and has lovely squishy poo so I guess she's not dehydrated. That's right Betty isn't it?

Our yurt time was cool. They are such good for the soul spaces. You lie there in a massive king size bed with cotton linen on down bedding looking up through the roof crown and to the gorgeous span of painted poles radiating outwards. I really love the massive circular room and cosiness. Ecotod loved running around and around the yurt on the deck outside. We ate local food outdoors all nights and read loads during naps and when shed gone to bed. Basic stuff is always the best. Our business partners had left a hamper of home grown, home made and local goodies as it is dh birthday. So that was special. And the toddle got lots of time to practice naming animals as the yurts are on a massive organic farm. All in all good. Journey home, packing and unpacking less so. Whatever mental stuff is going on at present is manifesting as anxiety over trips away. Perhaps because of the change to routine that makes me feel like Ecotod will kick off or that I'm being unfair to her. I realise that sounds nuts. Feeling a bit rotten now after a stressful day.

Oh, Wotta, I just remembered, you sounded down. I can identify with how you're feeling. I think the transition from crawling to proper walking is hard on a parent. It changes the landscape of what's possible and how your days roll. That endless need for activity can drive you to distraction. Does he still nap nicely? I carve my days up into chunks. Morning pre nap and afternoon post nap are my windows. I often go to one of the myriad of play parks for one and go for a walk in the other. Different locations for these each day help as does making a call to someone at same time. Hope you feel brighter now?

I have a dilemma at present everyone, so your quick thoughts would be appreciated. I know I need to gain more of a sense of my old self back in order to get towards feeling better. I also know I need to get my professional life back on track. There's a Wednesday eve til Sunday morning conference in the lake district at the start of November. Dh will look after Ecotod and is very supportive. I've never spent a night away from her yet, mostly because of evening and morning milk rather than any other reason. In my delicate state do you think it unwise for me to bugger off for so long? Will I struggle? Will dd struggle? Will my milk dry up? Rainbow have you never had night away from dd yet? What would you do if you needed to go to a conference? Take her with you? For me that's possible but defects the object of gaining some independence and confidence and having some time where I'm the only one I have to look after. Very torn at present and need to let organisers know. Hmm

ecofreckle · 01/09/2014 21:43

Defeats. I am defective!

Trumpelstiltskin · 01/09/2014 21:55

Goddamnit I just typed a HUGE response and lost it. FFS.

Eco - glad to hear you more upbeat. Yurts = magic, obvs. I wish dh hadn't declared me a bean eating hippy for wanting to stay in one. I don't eat beans, far too, erm, musical.

Anyway, conference. Yes! Bloody go! She'll be fine. There'll be adults there to chat with - and lovely as the small people are it is very nice to not have one sitting on your foot going 'baaa!' at every four legged creature they see, and passing you imaginary food then getting apoplectic when you forget to eat it. It'll go ever so fast, she'll be fine with dh (which you already know) and most importantly you deserve this space.

Stormy - farty jugs eh? Am picturing something bosom based. Oh we're off to Madeira with DH's clan lots of babysitters.

Stupid ran/hill attacked two miles on already sore ankles. Ow.

yummychocolate · 01/09/2014 21:59

eco go! Dd will be more than fine with her dad. If you miss this opportunity you will be kicking yourself. Sorry can't advise you on the boob milk though.

trumpy enjoy your holiday.

stormy sounds like a fun day at work today.

Woohoo my dm is back from abroad. She came over to see us and she tidied before she left. Smile

ecofreckle · 01/09/2014 21:59

Thanks Trumpy. I'll ponder with this in mind.

And have a fabulous time. A second honeymoon. Tell them it's your honeymoon when you check in. They may do a special 'we take the toddle for the flight duration' deal for you Grin

dolicapax · 01/09/2014 22:43

Just a quick one to say eco you must go. It'll be good for all of you. DD and DH will have some special daddy and toddle time, and you can be you again. Milk I'm no expert, but I think expressing while you are away should keep things ticking along as normal.

Oh and on a kind of cute note the babax has just moved. First time I've felt it! She now seems real. The most weird thing about second pregnancies is you don't have the time or energy to even think about the fact you are pregnant so kind of forget to commit any head space to it. Number one you think about nothing else. Number two you remember after you've eaten a prawn sandwich, and then shrug your shoulders rather than google in a panic!

StormyBrid · 02/09/2014 09:57

Go wriggly babax! I am positively green with envy.

I was going to suggest expressing while away too, eco. Should stop your boobs from giving up. And ecotod will have a lovely time with her dad, and you'll feel better for having some headspace. And some uninterrupted sleep!

Farty jugs involves holding a jug upside down - an actual water-pouring sort of jug, not a euphemism - and lowering it into the bath, then slowly sloooowly tilting it so the air bubbles out. Fartypants thinks it's hilarious.

Weird news of the week: FIL has invited us to Germany for Christmas. It would be nice for DD to see her step-grandma and half-auntie (they're living in Brazil at the moment so not much chance to see them). But spending Christmas trying to be polite and sociable with such an enormously sexist douchecanoe as FIL does not appeal. So we're declining on the grounds of a) can't afford flights (he'll offer to pay) b) DD has no passport (he'd offer to pay for that too) c) DD hasn't yet learnt to sit still for more than seventeen seconds so a plane would be hell on earth (he won't care cos it's women's place to deal with stroppy awkward toddlers) and d) MIL bagsied us for Christmas last summer (he can't argue with that!).

StormyBrid · 02/09/2014 11:38

Oh, and I forgot to mention the best thing that's happened today - Fartypants strung two words together to make a sentence!

somethingbeginningwith · 02/09/2014 11:55

eco I second, third, fourth, whatever number we're on'th, the plan to go. You'll enjoy the you time and DH will love daddy/daughter time. And you'll all love when you get home Smile

doli how lovely to feel the wrigglyness!

stormy what did she say?

trumpy enjoy your holiday! I'm not even a little bit jealous of you relaxing in the sun post-mud run Wink

DS fell asleep in my arms watching our pre-bedtime show last night. I didn't know until I watched his thumb slowly fall out of his mouth and his head felt heavy on my shoulder. He hasn't fallen asleep on me in about a year, so naturally I took SO many photos!

BettyOff · 02/09/2014 13:29

Afternoon all, sorry for being so absent of late. I've been on nights all weekend and they were busy so I've mostly been asleep during all non-working hours.

Eco, you should go. You can express while away but if you don't want to then there's a chance you'll still have milk as you're not feeding much anyway. I still did for about a month after I stopped anyway. The only thing that might stop you from re-establishing feeding is if Eco-toddle decides she's done with it once you're back as that's what DD did, she just never asked again. I think it'd be a good chance for some space and perspective for you and if you hated it you could make your excuses and run home!

Trumpy, where are you off to? Exciting times! We're off on our hols next Friday and today I've discovered I can't find one of the passports, DH's driving licence and we have no travel insurance for DD. Hmm

Doli it's so exciting about the movements, it makes it all a bit real doesn't it?

Stormy, I think if you're already promised to MIL you've got your excuses set!

DD has got through the last few bits of teething fairly unscathed but this bit isn't much fun. She's a misery, her nappies are nasty and frequent with a very sore bum. Poor wee mite. I think I'm going to pick her up from nursery early for some cuddles. DH is on long days all week so I'm on my own in the evenings for bedtime battles. Wine is required!

dolicapax · 02/09/2014 13:53

Stormy I'd bite back my pride and go, given it's free, and FIL for all his faults is a GP and obviously trying to build a relationship with dd. That's between him and her, and despite your personal views on the situation may actually be quite important to dd in the future. I adored my granddad, who was by all accounts a very unpleasant man to practically everyone except his grandchildren. I'm grateful to my mum for tolerating his appalling behaviour and allowing me to spend time with my GPs. I've never told her that... I probably should. I think she had to bite her tongue a lot!

Slightly better day here today, as dd is finally eating, which will hopefully mean she will start sleeping. The nappies though. Ugh. I had no idea the post vomiting phase could be quite so vile. I'm assuming the fact she off-loaded about a years supply of bile, leaving her system somewhat depleted, has something to do with the hummus like paste I have been dealing with of late. Grim. Quite grim.

rainbowtoddle · 02/09/2014 20:03

eco no advice on night away as have never been away from DD for the night and don't intend to till she has weaned (whenever that may be!) because of the big part that evening, morning (and night) milk plays for her and the fact that we co-sleep every night. I would take DD with me in our situation. Sounds like lot of people would find time away freeing but personally for me leaving my DD behind and suddenly without the things that give her comfort and stability would make me too anxious to focus on myself and my work. I would find it liberating enough to have the days to myself but the nights are our special time and I don't want to miss a single one. But maybe that's just me!

dolicapax · 02/09/2014 21:00

Rainbow, I can understand your position but you have a very different set up to Eco and many others on here. You have a nanny enabling you to have time and space to work, which provides valuable headspace. In your circumstances I would probably feel the same way. However, for those who have to manage with a DH work works away much of the week, and no formal regular childcare, like Eco, time to oneself is actually a very important part of being a good mum.

Eco I'd encourage you to go. I think you've had an awful lot to deal with of late, and rarely get any time to focus on yourself or your work. Don't feel guilty about it, dd will enjoy it. The night we had away at a wedding dd had a ball with her grandparents. We were worried she'd be unsettled and stressed, but no, not at all. We came home to find a very happy small person and two very exhausted older people!

WottaMess · 02/09/2014 21:01

Eco if you want to go the you should go, you could pump if you definitely wanted to keep up the milk, or not and see how it goes if you feel the time may be coming to see if dd is ready to wean. But if like Rainbow you're not ready to leave then don't add an extra stress. I have done 2 nights away longest since DS was born, and it was fine. But of course the milk thing wasn't an issue as he'd already stopped by then. Some time for you could be good though.

Hi everyone. I've spend the day tidying the shed. (Oh the glamour!) and tomorrow we have to take it all to the tip in a hired truck. Thank god for grandma babysitting - a task which could not be done with DS underfoot. Grin

I'm also doing a stupid crash diet thing to try and kick start fitting into my winter wardrobe. Mn has so much to answer for.

WottaMess · 02/09/2014 21:03

I have had more than 2 nights away, but that's the longest stint if that makes sense... I blame the grapefruit juice!

rainbowtoddle · 02/09/2014 21:38

doli I wasn't discouraging Eco to go - and as I made clear I was speaking for my situation only as she had asked my opinion and obviously we are both the only ones still breastfeeding and that makes a huge difference to this kind of decision. Agree with having valuable headspace (although not much to be had when you work from home with a toddler knocking on the office door ever half an hour even with a nanny!) but this can be achieved in many ways and for me I would not get that if I went away for a few days because of the role of breastfeeding at night time for DD - as I said just my perspective.

eco please don't feel I was discouraging you if it's right for you - just described how I would feel about a night away (not day times of course) and that I have no advice on the milk supply front. Sometimes it's nice if someone gets the concerns you naturally may have even if you decide it's right for you - I know I have been comforted in the past when other full term breastfeeding, co sleeping mum's have reassured me that what I feel is normal even if others don't agree because their situation is different. A tiny part of me would envy the freedom of going away even though I could not do the nighttime apart yet.

ecofreckle · 02/09/2014 22:59

Hello everyone and thanks for sharing your perspectives with me. I really appreciate it. I'm currently still undecided. Not because I worry that she'll not be ok without me.....I suspect she will be fine and having lots of loud fun times with her papa. The reasons I'm hesitant are to do with milk supply and also whether it's just a bit too bold a step for me when I'm a bit fragile at present. I have worked away for a long day (7 til 7 ish) a few times and have missed her madly by home time. I wonder how I'll feel after four days. That sounds like a long time when I've not dabbled my toe with a night or weekend. Doesn't sound like any of you have done that long? (did you something for Edinburgh?) so jumping in at deep end with four nights might be foolish. I have no concerns about whether I deserve the experience or whether I'd love the daytime freedom (I bloody would!). I suppose the thing with this is that we're all different people with a different set of circumstances. I am still breastfeeding but not Co sleeping and not offering any milk over night. I am not at all discouraged by anyone's comments.....in the absence of thinking straight it's good to have an idea about what fully functioning mums would do. I'll take a look at programme and see if I can miss a day I think. Compromise!

Wotta you sound better today. The shed clear in peace and quiet cathartic?

I'm in bath now and I've just had a go at fartyjugs. It amused me Smile

Something where are these cute sleepy photos?

I'm possibly off to Whipsnade zoo tomorrow. I hope Ecotod doesn't decide it's crap because that will be a frustrating waste of money and time. They're hard to second guess sometimes. We took her to some gardens today with all sorts of places to explore and run around. She moaned quite a lot. Buggy! Walk! Shoulder ride! Sitting refusing to walk! It was dynamic Smile The only thing she really liked was rushing around the rose garden smelling the roses

Thanks again everyone. Helpful insights. Night night

StormyBrid · 03/09/2014 00:07

I've done four days and three nights, not with me away but with DD away. I did miss her a bit, but not intolerably so, and I knew she was having a grand time, which helped. She was with people who love her and care for her very well, so I was confident that she'd cope without me, and I can deal with the missing her unt she gets back. That said, we didn't start off with that long away. First trip was two nights, and many a time she's been put to bed by the man and got up by him in the morning, which is effectively a night without me because I might be around but she can't see or interact with me.

Since you're obviously in two minds about it, I reckon the best thing to do would be to plan to definitely go for one overnight, have a plan in place to get you home on day two in case you feel you'd rather be at home, but also have a plan to stay for the second night. And then just see how it goes.

BettyOff · 03/09/2014 08:14

Eco would you have any opportunity to go and stay with friends for one night before then just to try it out and see how you feel?

somethingbeginningwith · 03/09/2014 08:30

eco yes. When DS was about 5/6 months old, I went to Edinburgh for just under a week. It was tough but it was also really nice to have me time. And even though I actually was ridiculously busy so didn't have a rest, it was a different kind of busy and I actually enjoyed spending the time doing things just for me. Since then, I've not spent that kind of length of time away from him, but he does go to grandma's overnight every now and then, which is really nice for us, him and them.

I can't advise on the bf though, as DS wasn't bfing then. Your compromise sounds good. And the zoo sounds amazing. I think it's time we took DS to the zoo. I love the zoo.

wotta I'm looking into crash diets too. I want a quick fix dash the unhealthy aspect and then I'll slow down once I see results. What's your stupid crash diet plan? So I can steal it Grin

I'll bung the sleepy photos on Marchers later today (when I'm not sneakily MNing at work!)

Our day started with a 4 today, but when it got into 5, I was relentless and cuddled so much that he went back to sleep until I woke him up at 7:30!