The 6th Broadly Gemini Luxury Bus - this way ladies.

[FrussoHathor]

Welcome aboard our 6th bus ladies.

[FrussoHathorAKADaisythecow]

... Any one have any ideas of sci-fi series I can watch (ideally ones that fox didn't cancel mid series, like Kyle)

[FrussoHathor]

How was your day out bring?

[Librarina]

Frus, CE!

Also, have you seen Firefly or Dollhouse? Both the work of Josh Weedon who did Buffy? Or early Torchwood is ace or are they a bit obvious? I also love Misfits and The West Wing (not Sci Fi but great TV)

[FrussoHathor]

Not seen either of those lib will have a search on Netflix and Apple TV when I get home.
I've been to the carboot sale. I was after a door bouncer or a jumperoo. Unfortunately I've come away with a fire engine and a dancing simba. so much for my toy blitz and some clothes for ds.

[kittykatsforever]

Oh frus there was both at the car boot I've been
Dd1 got a tigger teddy, her knew obsession as if we need another bloody teddy

[FrussoHathor]

I have an eating sleeping grumble bumble.

[kittykatsforever]

I have a wide awake worm!

[bringonthetrumpets]

I've got a baby with a rash all over and dh who's been sent out for disposable nappies and some rash cream. Poor mite. Hope it clears up and I can eliminate whatever is causing it.

I've just been thanked by ds1 for having a girl baby in my tummy.

The day was supposed to be fun. The boys were obnoxious and I wanted to stuff them in the portable toilets and leave them there had a hard time with their behavior and get them to stop being so naughty. We're bringing my parents today so hopefully 4 adults can wrangle two naughty boys for a few hours.

[FrussoHathor]

kitty I have screaming one now.

oh no bring poor little thing, I hope you find the trigger soon.

bring I hear you loud and clear with the shove them in a portaloo behaviours.

Dd1 has been a huge, annoying, ungrateful, answering back little madam all day.
Dd2 is dd2. However she has just gone above and beyond today. Tea time was fun, fish pie wasn't good enough, so I had to make her pasta. (Not a problem in itself, its a food texture thing rather than a spoilt brat thing) made pasta with ds hanging of my boob.
Then ds pooped, had to change his nappy and he pooped all over me, and the sofa leather thankfully and the cushion he was on cream, and whilst I was sorting that mess out and a screaming ds, the pasta stuck to the pan. Then once I rescued the pasta. Dd2 decided she wasn't going to have it. A few threats of no toys and straight to bed later she is now eating.
And dd1 has just let all the water out the bath, and I have 2 more children to bath before dh gets home in 10 minutes. Grrrrrrrr maybe I should have black bagged them with the old toys


anyone guess why I always have headaches?

[AGnu]

Are we allowed to lock them in portaloos now? That would make life so much simpler! Can we hire some for the bus?

[FrussoHathor]

Not allowed to lock them in I'm afraid agnu but could probably get away with nudging them down the hole.

[kittykatsforever]

Long day, dh on long nights so not even seen him today, thankfully the girls have made life easy tonight and were both asleep by 7 worn out myself included and just had a beer while watching hitch, my oh my I love will smith
Want to go to bed but got to pump boobs first
Hope you were able to put the day behind you bring, nothing worse then trying to do fun nice things and having it thrown back in your face
Frus that sounds like the kind of day I'm used to, hope dh took over and you can join me in a

[bringonthetrumpets]

Ohhhh dear Frus That sounds like the day/evening from hell. Yes, I can see where the headache tablets would be a fantabulous idea! I'm SO counting down the days until school starts as well 14 The thought of them falling down the loo hole is absolutely terrifying. Oh my god, what a horrible metal picture I've just had to live through. . I'll have to find a new place to leave them.

Well, today was fairly better. Was good to see mum and dad, the boys were really excited and we managed to see some pretty amazing dancing.....and M managed to puke alllllllllll over me and blow out a disposable nappy. We haven't had a blow out at all with her cloth ones so this was new territory for me. I think her rash is from wearing a cloth nappy last night that wasn't properly washed (it's one of ds2's old nappies from when he was a baby that I just pulled out the box because M pooed in her last clean overnight nappy right before I was going to put her down for the night). Urgh. So now we have to wait for this to clear up before she can wear her normal ones again. She suddenly seems so tiny all of a sudden without her massive cloth nappy butt!

[FrussoHathor]

No kitty DH didn't take over. so I sulked and stropped and shouted at him for being a selfish twunt because he moaned that ds didnt want him, no dear, ds is tired, he needs his nappy changed, and lying there on the sofa listening to ds moan and doing stuff all isn't going help and took ds and went to bed early.

[Librarina]

God being a mummy is so hard!
I'm tired, so very tired, i havent had a ful nights sleep for over 2 months now. And my body aches from carrying her, and hefting the carseat and sitting up to feed, and from not being able to wriggle freely in the night. And I'm so bloody worried, that she'll never sleep on her own, will never nap without being popped into the sling and sung to, she'll never look left, because I sleep on the right if her, she'll never roll over because she can't but a baby I know who was born on the same day can. I fear that she has wind and I'm too tired in the night to get it out properly, I fear that my boobs we let me down, I fear that she won't weigh enough when the HV comes on Wednesday and I fear that I'm letting her down by making mistakes and not giving her good habits. I don't think I'm being a great wife to poor DH, he's constantly having to boost my roller coaster emotions and while he tells me I'm a good Mummy it's impossible to believe him.

Mostly I feel so very very guilty because I have a terrible secret.
I think I liked my life better before I had her.

[kittykatsforever]

Oh lib
You are doing a fab job please don't doubt it!
Rolling over at 2 months?! Is she one of the incredables??
I can assure you that most don't Untill they are 4months plus at the earliest, infact I'm sure dd1 wasn't till 6 months or something
You will not damage her by her sleeping, dd1 would only lie with her head to the left, even when I used to put her on her other side proped up for naps in the day to help,shed move until she could turn over again! She even had an app at 9 months as she had a weird shaped head but she's fine now lol
I promise they won't be bad habits for life, I've never heard of a 20yr old who still sleeps with mum and dad!
In the first few months we do all we can just to make it through the days, if it helps and there are things you want to change like the sleeping in a sling, try to do one little thing at a time take it day by day and celebrate the little victories, yesterday dd2 went to sleep in her cot from wide awake, there are nights when we have a feed/ wind pattern for an hour trying to get sleep or she crys and last night not one noise, it made me very happy!
I doubt there is a parent out there who hasn't had the thought that life was easier or nicer before there children but I bet if someone tried to come and take her you would claw their eyes out! There will be a point where you look at her and just can't imagine life any other way making you that happy I promise!
Talk to your health visitor about it, she will hear it on a regular basis and remember you can vent here whenever you want/need xx

[bringonthetrumpets]

Oh Lib, I adore your sweet, kind, self! It's not a terrible secret you need to feel like you should hide from everyone, well all have moments days, weeks, years where we remember how good we had it before the babe came along. You are right, THIS IS REALLY HARD WORK It feels unfair sometimes that we are put through such ridiculous trials and tribulations when all we see in the magazines are super happy mums and babies (I thought we'd always be having a great time with our kids!? Where did I go wrong?).

Is there anyone that you could talk to about how you're feeling? Do you feel like there are any lingering baby blues? Just to throw it out there, there is absolutely no shame in discussing feelings of anxiety, being overwhelmed, angry, sad, depressed, feeling really emotional, over tired, insomnia, loss of appetite, etc. I went through PND after DS1 was born and it was an incredibly dark point in my life that I wish I hadn't felt so ashamed to talk about so I could have gotten help sooner. It was embarrassing and terrifying for me to admit to myself let alone DH that I wasn't feeling like myself and that I needed help. Looking back I was experiencing some of the same thoughts and feelings that you've described and I just want to make sure that you're ok. I'm not saying that you have it, but it just resonated with me so I want you to know that we can always be a resource or shoulder for you to lean on. I was able to get a reference through my GP for a counselor (this was when I was still living in the UK) and I felt so much better just talking with someone about what I was going through as well as getting some tools on how to deal with those feelings.

Sending 1,000s of (((((hugs))))) your way.

[AGnu]

Sometimes this whole parenting lark makes me miss my depression. Back then I could spend all day every day lounging around in bed drinking coke, eating chocolate & crisps, watching daytime TV & sleeping whenever I felt like it. Bliss! Y'know, if you ignore the bits where I couldn't get out of bed or scared myself by thinking about how easy it would be to disappear under the water in the bath...!

Being a parent isn't easy & it's certainly not always fun! It's terrifying being responsible for another human being & constantly worrying that you're teaching them the wrong thing or that you're not preparing them well enough for the outside world or that you'll take your eyes off them for a second & they'll spontaneously combust...

But...

There'll be times when it's the best thing in the world. They look so proud of themselves when they first take a few steps & you'll be the one they want to celebrate their achievements with. It'll be you who they'll run to when they're scared/upset/hurting & they'll cling to you like you can make everything better with just a hug. You'll get to run around madly & hang them upside down by their ankles & you'll be the only one who knows how to tickle them in just the right spot for maximum giggles!

Parenting really is the most wonderful/scariest rollercoaster. I really do think that the first few months with your first is the worst. They get so much more entertaining when they can interact a little more & so much easier when they can be left with some toys to entertain themselves!

Go easy on yourself. Take it one day, or just one hour, at a time. Figure out what you need. As long as you can fit in feeding/changing around whatever you need to do she'll be fine! Don't worry about the housework. Eat easy things, or let your DH cook. Don't bother getting dressed if you don't feel like it. Forget about going out unless you feel you need a change. Look after yourself first. Don't tell kitty but routines can come later. DS1 didn't have a bedtime until he was at least 9 months & then it was only because he was grumpy at about the same time every day! It was more a case of us noticing his routine than setting it! He still goes to bed later than most of his peers but then he'll sleep in in the mornings. It works for us. Figure out what works for you & ignore the babies who can do backflips or recite the complete works of Shakespeare by 2 weeks old. No-one will care when they first rolled over once they start school. It won't matter when they learnt to walk or talk when they're doing their A levels & employers won't be interested in how early they could count to 10... Unless you plan on getting her a job in a circus side-show as "The Amazing Counting Baby"!

(Yy to bring though, if you do feel consistently low/hopeless you might want to consider the possibility of PND. It's scary to admit when you're not coping but with depression it's best to identify & tackle it early!)

Have some & & a little & plenty of & & look after yourself!

[kittykatsforever]

Agnu how very dare you!!
I am abit in love with my routine I'm afraid lol it's only because when I had dd1 and didn't know what I was doing I felt so out of control and like a bad parent somewhat what libs describing, for me having a book to read to give me an idea and getting a structure in place made me feel like I was back in control I like control even if its only for a small part, having two made it even more important as my dd1 is a very loveable terror whirlwind
I need sleep to deal with it, believe me!
Frus, have you heard from thunder? I hope she is well

[Librarina]

Thank you ladies. It's just felt like a really tough couple of days/weeks/months. DH being at home all weekend actually made me feel worse cos he was so good with her, i just felt like the boob machine. Yesterday though he took her so I could nap, which I couldn't as usual, but instead of lying there fuming I did my pregnancy yoga DVD which made me feel much better.

Had my post natal GP check yesterday and she said the emotions roller coaster is normal and so long as I'm enjoying my baby I should be all right but I'll ask DH to keep an eye on me.

Ok, I'm going to stop worrying about what is going to happen and how I could be failing her in the future and concentrate on NOW... Bearing in mind that there aren't baby groups every day and there are only so many massages you can give... What do you DO with your baby all day?

Thankyou, it really helps to know its not such a terrible thing to remember how much easier life was before baby

[kittykatsforever]

Lib- put her in a seat and run around like a headless chicken trying to chase dd1 or do housework!
( I'd like to say I was joking) she is starting to like toy things now with bright colours and noise things, when I had dd1 I tried to get out most days and either do a mother and tots group or meet friends for a coffee, a walk with her in the pram or visiting my family aunties and uncles that are retired etc, it was more for me to feel is done something I think

[Lorelei353]

Oh Lib hope you're doing okay. As the other first-timer on here I know how you feel. I had a really low day on Sunday (after a really tough night with DS on Sat night). I just felt tired of everything - tired of having no clothes to wear, tired of having to wear bras at night, tired of breast pads, tired of having to wear nursing tops, tired of being tired, tired of not being able to have a lovely bath or some time to myself, tired of not seeing my friends... tired of so many things. I'd give almost anything for a long, uninterrupted nights sleep on my own in my bed.

Also, there's the stress of not knowing what you're doing. I worry that DS will never manage to go to sleep without being bounced or fed (in fact, I started this reply over an hour ago but DS won't nap properly today so I had to stop to rock, bounce, feed, bounce and feed to get him down to sleep as yesterday he didn't nap well and was tired and miserable come evening). I worry because I KNOW he has wind and I can't always get it up, or don't persevere long enough because he's asleep and won't burp and I don't want to wake him but then he gets tummy pain and won't sleep. I worry because I haven't even started thinking about childcare for when I go back to work and everyone tells me his name should be down somewhere by now. I worry because I don't have any routine. I worry because although DH has been amazing, he seems to be following my lead with regards to parenting and I don't know anything!

It's all been really overwhelming. But, ultimately, I love him more than anything (along with DH). I look at his little face when feeding and just feel a surge of love and I'll just figure the rest out eventually.

But, do keep ranting on here to us. Venting is good for you. Also, do seek help if you feel you need it. You won't be the first mum to need support and you won't be the last. We're all here for you.

[Lorelei353]

I forgot to say for me my lowest moments come when I'm not just tired, but when I haven't eaten enough. Low blood sugar = tears in this house.

[AGnu]

kitty I need to feel in control too but I find I need to take control back from what I feel the world expects of me & do things my way! I've never read any parenting books purely because they'd just make me doubt myself & make me feel like I wasn't doing it 'right'. I'd get exhausted trying to follow someone else's schedule!

Lib with DS1 I mostly did what I did pre-DC, just with him with me. That involved watching TV & sleeping! I've never been someone who has to do things. I like just chilling out at home! Weirdly enough, having children & getting rid of the tv has changed that & I feel a bit aimless if I don't have DS1 demanding to be fed/played with at set times! He gives my day structure... & I've only just realised it! No idea when that happened!

DS2 is currently sticking his tongue out at me & grinning when I copy him! DS1 is watching the binmen through the window from his cot. We've not got up yet! Some people may think it's lazy but I know DS1 will be very active & demanding attention once we are up & I get burnt out very easily. I want to be able to play with him & be patient & happy all day. I can't risk getting depressed again with 2 DC to look after so I shall do whatever I feel necessary to get us through each day in the most pleasant way possible!

[Lorelei353]

I have no idea what I do all day. It's a cycle of feeding, putting DS on his activity mat and watching him bash things, smile, and copying the sounds he makes, putting him in his bouncer if he needs to switch off a bit the putting him back to sleep. When he's asleep I'll be making lunch,eating lunch, clearing up, putting washes on etc.