Why should going to Eton make you less part of 'real life'?

[MayDayMayDay]

I have friends who went to Eton and other leading private/boarding schools. Between them they have: children at state schools, cancer, children with disabilities, been made redundant, parents with dementia, been unable to afford a house, become alcoholic, suffered marriage breakdowns, lost family in accidents, voted Labour, worried about the future...

We all have different experiences of life. Who really thinks one life is more 'real' than another? I might vote for David Cameron, I might not. Whatever I vote it will have nothing to do with where any of the party leaders went to school. I'll leave those considerations to all the snobs who can't recognise themselves as such.

Am liking "Bootstraps Brigade". DH and I are definitely fully paid up members of that one. Once you've starved (literally), been in foster and care homes etc and have still made a succesful life, you DO think that anyone can.

I don't disagree with you actually Beta, I know lots and lots of people like that too, especially working in the public sector and all. But it doesn't negate the argument that Cameron's inner circle is drawn from a very narrow pool of backgrounds and might lack depth.

Yes I do too, he seems to have changed an awful lot since stepping down as leader

I met a girl at University who didn't even realise that children in comprehensives did GCSEs. She was rather shocked to discover that they even made it to Cambridge (in droves!).

What was tragic was her family had little money (having spent most of it on school fees).

It doesn't make you any less aware of real life at all.

It's just a useful stick to beat Cameron with when his opponents can't think of anything else to use.

LemonMuffin - I personally wouldn't waste time beating DC with the Old Etonian stick ... 'cos some of his policies are that much better as beating-stick material. I wish I had time to put all my thoughts about them down here. But sadly I don't because DH is babysitting and I am off to the pub to watch the leaders debate

It doesnt.

its all part of the last ditch attempt to stay in power by Labour, who think they can get people worked up about class. The class war is dead, it died years ago. Someone needs to tell Labour though.

class war is dead?? rofl yes sure it is

Class war will never be dead as long as a child born into a poor family needs to have an IQ 20 points higher than a child born into a rich family in order to have the same income in adult life.

Yes, well said.

I don't think it's going to Eton so much as coming from a background where going to Eton is "what you do". Centuried of priviledge leave their mark.

And yes, David Cameron had a severely disabled child and perhaps to his credit, he doesn't appear to use this fact in his electioneering.

But - and I am sure there are people on her who will agree with me - having a severely disabled child as a rich person is a very different thing from having a similiarly disable child as a poor - or even an averagely well off person. Ditto having cancer, redundancy, dementia -practically everything on MayDay's list. Including using state education.

The class war, as written about by George Orwell in 1932 in such books as The Road to Wigan Pier. You need a history lesson, i can see.

The Aristocracy as such has been all but eliminated by two world wars, and isnt a shadow of what it used to be. Now dont get them confused with the rich - the rich and the aristocratic are not the same thing. There is indeed a 'Rich' class, but they are mainly risen from the ranks of the middle class. There the Ppo Aristocracy, the Paul McCartneys and Mick Jaggers, and the Football Rich, the Beckhams, but real Old Money Aristoracy is but the last surviving fragments of what it was.

The Working Class, the vast huge bulk of people who were grindingly poor in the 9130's and who constituted more than 50% of the population, have almost vanished along with there class enemies, the aristocracy. As I said earlier, if you want a description of the working class, read George Orwell. Your not working class if you have a new wide screen TV in your house and a car on the drive, and a job. A worst you are lower middle class.

Which brings us to them, the majority of society, the middle classes, who now form the vast majority of the populace. In Edwardian Times the middle classes were small, and consisted largely of educated sons of merchants, the clergy, the armed forces and rich entrepreneurs. The 'Class War'as defined was the war of the working class vs the Aristocracy, and the struggle of the Middle Class to social climb.

SO its dead, the vast majority of the olf working class are gone, there children have become middle class and the middle classes are the new rich. The vast majority of rich people are new rich, self made, usually on the back of property. There not privileged aristocracy. Harriet Harman, for example is the daughter of privileged Aristocracy. Funny that, her being a Labour Minister.

You're confusing the Class War with the Struggle against Poverty, which is an entirely different thing. Poverty can strike any 'class', but its created by government mismanagement, not accident of birth.

I think you are right seeker having a disabled child is a different thing if you are very rich. His comment last night really annoyed me. "Even for me it was hard filling in the forms". Well, for a start he would have had someone else fill in the forms and what does he mean "Even for me" ? So he is far far better than the rest of the world but he still found it hard. Or, by his own admition his life is far easier ? He can pay for any amount of help anyway.

Of all the people I would want a history lesson from ( not least because I teach some history) you would be one of the last tbh.

Lincs I come from good working class stock and while we all work very few members of my family have a car on their drive, own their own home or have a wide screen TV.

There is still a crossover between poverty and class.

Going to Eton/Fettes etc is no bar to understanding what life is like for the great unwashed. However surrounding yourself with advisors and colleagues with more or less exactly the same background as you makes it less likely that you ever encounter life as it is lived by the vast majority of the population.

What is the 'real world' though...we all live in our own small realities with our views on the world often based on what we do.

For example, my sister works in a women's refuge and believes many children are hugely deprived. I work with wealthy people's houses and get the impression many people are very wealthy.

However, hopefully both of us interact enough with other people and have enough empathy to know that our worlds (which are real to each of us because that's where we spend our time)are only a snapshot of the world we live in.

And for all the differences in the UK, there are vaster ones through the world.

I remember a study I read while doing a course in business studies (otherwise I do not normally read these things) and it was discussing diversity in business, getting in more women, ethnic minorities etc and it basically concluded that all socio-economic groups instinctively recruit and befriend others of a like socio-economic group and would gravitate towards those with similar attitudes and experiences.

Thus white male middle class communities looked for those of similar ilk, also the female societies etc etc. This is why a lot of businesswomen have very "male" attitudes as they have found that the adopition of certain behaviour styles is the path to acceptance.

It also conclided that people make decisions and then look for material to reinforce those decisions and underline their "rightness".

Thus, those who think single mothers are scum and a large section of the population are benefit cheats and scroungers buy the Daily Mail specifically to reinforce their world view and prove their "rightness" of a pre made decision.

Thus, in any society/group including political parties you will get significant clusters of similar views and backgrounds.
And thus, those in power hand power to people like them...

I agree that life in general is easier with money. I was making the point - not clearly - that your school is not necessarily an indicator of your wealth, which like everything else can be transient. The people who claim public school makes you unfit to rule a country are as prejudiced as those who'd think public school is essential - not that anyone would voice that.

I find it hard to see how money eases the emotional pain of watching someone who is loved in terminal decline. I have been a carer and a young mum - and my brother had to give up work to care for my mum - I am not a well-off Tory myself. The endless and confusing filling in of forms to find no help was available - all that would have been easier with help. But I have friends who are wealthy and the pain is no less. My best mate's parents found no comfort in money when he died of cancer in his 20's. There are experiences which level us and foster empathy no matter where we begin. I think these life experiences are more important in a potential PM than decisions about education made by his parents. I loved my mum and dad but wouldn't want to be judged on their decisions.

Also, for several ex-boarding school friends, their education was a trauma they have had to get over. Why didn't my parents want them? Being caned aged 7. What a privilege! I went to a state school, always lived at home with my mum and dad, who was unemployed for a couple of years, watched mum deal with family illness and her sister's alcoholism and always knew I was loved. Had part-time jobs from 14 and to get through uni. I still feel way more privileged than several rich public school acquaintances. (Some loved it - they're not all damaged and lost - but it's not always a path to success in any form.)

I meant - 'why didn't THEIR parents want them?' Mine might well have done but we didn't have any more room.

Money can't buy happiness or emotional support - of course it can't. But it can make being miserable a lot easier. It can provide holidays, and respite care. It can provide good easy to prepare healthy food. It can provide a cleaner, a gardener, even a driver. It can provide a good reliable car. It means never having to use public transport. It means buying the book you want straight away, not having to wait til teh library can find it for you. And so on.