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Original poster

If your 17 year old wanted to take a day off school to attend the student funding march on Wed would you condone it

242 replies

mrswoodentop · 08/11/2010 21:49

What it says really,ds1 ,17 ,very politically aware wants to attend.Its a school day,independent school so I need to write to say we are authorising him to have a day off.

Dh violently against ,very angry with me for even thinking about it ,treats ds like a naughty little boy.I am more ambivelent,I am proud of him for feeling strongly (dh thinks that because he wouldn't go on his own that he just wants a day off school with his friends),I think that this issue is going to have a profound effect on his life and in a way I am quite proud of him for wanting to have a voice, also proud because he has thought carefully about the issues and wants to hear both sides and yes he wants to experience something big ,something new,to be there if you like.But and and its a big but he has to have day off school,he's not a definate oxbridge candidate ,his grades aren't perfect he can ill afford to miss a lot of school,but one day? I don't know,dh has said no and he's agreed so I suppose its over but perhaps we are doing him a diservice (sorry not sure of spelling)

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Tortington · 08/11/2010 22:13

yes yes absolutley, but i wouldnt upset family balance for it

pointydog · 08/11/2010 22:13

yes, I would let him

TheFarSide · 08/11/2010 22:13

I am extremely heartened to hear that students are taking this kind of action rather than turning into obedient little robots. We need more independent thinkers, people not afraid to speak out, blah blah. Don't really understand your DH's reasons.

harpsichordcarrier · 08/11/2010 22:16

yes, I would

grannieonabike · 08/11/2010 22:16

Oh yes - part of his education, and something he'll always remember.

How to deal with your husband - not so easy.

Arguments for: only one day, part of his education in democracy, exercising his democratic right, fighting for what he believes in, this is a young man who isn't content just to sit back and let others fight his battles, er be proud that he feels strongly enough to do something about it, he can do his homework on the train (as if!), he might get his photo in the newspapers, he'll hear some famous people's speeches - he might even meet a politician - you could get him to write a 5,000 word essay when he gets back.

Hope that helps.

dontdisstheteens · 08/11/2010 22:19

My lad is 16 (at sixth form). He is going. I am worried of course but would not dream of stopping him. Kind of wish I could go too. It is decades since I had a really good protest.

Let him go. Be proud. He will remember it for a long time.

Point out to DH that he will be voting very soon...and could be married with a child (that should clinch it hee hee)

dontdisstheteens · 08/11/2010 22:19

My lad is 16 (at sixth form). He is going. I am worried of course but would not dream of stopping him. Kind of wish I could go too. It is decades since I had a really good protest.

Let him go. Be proud. He will remember it for a long time.

Point out to DH that he will be voting very soon...and could be married with a child (that should clinch it hee hee)

whomovedmychocolate · 08/11/2010 22:21

Has he raised it at school as an issue? Not being funny but a lot of the teachers may be behind him. It must be an absolute kicker to be teaching kids to a level where they will get into university while knowing most of them won't be able to afford to go :(

Oh and personally, yes I'd not only let him go but offer to accompany him.

booyhoo · 08/11/2010 22:21

i think he would gain more from this march for the day than he would gain for his school education on teh same day in school.

tell him you permit him to make the decision.

newwave · 08/11/2010 22:27

None of your DH's business in truth, he could quit school and join the army if he wants or even get married. Good on your boy

pointydog · 08/11/2010 22:31

I'd try not to make a big issue of it. Maybe just tell your dh you should leave the school to follow it up and that ds should accept any consequences.

Original poster
mrswoodentop · 08/11/2010 22:33

ChippingIn - no very rarely would he take a day off to indulge in something important to him,I use the word indulge because I suspect this is how he sees it.He sees it all as a bit suspect and an excuse for a lazy day

I so want to encourage him ,so proud of him for having a view,added complication is that I work at the school and dh is I think worried that it will reflect badly on me ,but do you know what loads have days off for holidays etc and he has never had any such days

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Francagoestohollywood · 08/11/2010 22:37

Of course he should go.

LittlePushka · 08/11/2010 22:37

yep i would - without a second hesitation ...and I would applaud him immensely for "being bothered". I think it is a huge loss to this society when its youth are excluded from or bored by politics.

If it were my son, I am afraid I'd say to anyone who disagreed (DH included)"Get political! Get real!Get living!"

ChippingIn · 08/11/2010 22:40

I'd give him permission and deal with DH's tanty later on tbh. It's not his life nor his decision - it's your sons (for the protest) and yours (for your job).

Your DH and I would last 5 minutes... I hope you are happy with him though :)

edam · 08/11/2010 22:44

I think dh needs to realise that your son is 17, not 7. He doesn't actually need your (plural) permission.

dearprudence · 08/11/2010 22:44

Yes, I would be happy to let him have time off school for this.

tallwivglasses · 08/11/2010 22:49

Students taking to the streets again? About bloody time!

lowrib · 08/11/2010 22:52

I would also be very proud of my DS if he wanted to do this, he should be allowed to go.

Original poster
mrswoodentop · 08/11/2010 23:02

Right ,dh not happy but I have told him that I will write the letter if he wants to go,its his decision and I am proud of him .At the moment he says that he won't go because he wants his dad to support him ,but I've told him to wait until tomorrow .His dad won't agree he can't see beyond "it's a school day" but you know I think I'm right ,life isn't a dress rehersal it's for real.

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tallwivglasses · 08/11/2010 23:07

Good on you, mrswoodentop Smile

(love the name for nostalgia reasons!)

ChippingIn · 08/11/2010 23:07

You son sounds lovely - he wont go because he wants his Dad's support... does your DH realise how uncommon that is in a 17 year old? He should support him :(

You are right - life isn't a dress rehersal, he'll only get to be 17 once and if he does this, he will be proud of himself whether it achieves anything or not.

ChippingIn · 08/11/2010 23:08

Oh and .... well done you for not allowing your DH the final word on this when he is wrong!

exexpat · 08/11/2010 23:12

Yes, definitely.

I used to skip school occasionally to go to big protests at Greenham Common and so on, with my mother's approval (she was a teacher). Much more educational than another day at school.

Original poster
mrswoodentop · 08/11/2010 23:13

I am afraid that DH thinks that he should have ds's support ,he's not always an easy boy,has a rotten temper when riled ,but as it said in his year 3 report T has a very well developed sense of justice.

Interesting I don't think he thinks of how unuual it is for a 17 year old to want to have his approval or to care.He just thinks I'm paying the bills so I call the shots .He does love him ,always happy to ferry him about ,be at things etc,but if I'm honest they are just not on the same wavelength politically

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