Good evening.
Continuing.
Personally I don't think it's unrealistic to have some sort of cap on benefits ie. making work pay (more than benefits).
When I came off benefits and got back to work, many moons ago, I don't think I would have bothered had I made myself worse off. People who are benefit claimants are not stupid, some infact are remarkeably clever - they can do the maths...and can understand time pressure imperatives.
We have an awful (IMVHO) lot of carrot in this country - ATM - lots of access to free health care, welfare that surpases other developed countries in the West (read USA), free education that is open to all, regardless of economic background or ability, state pensions, freedom of expression, legally protected rights including equality legislation, some social housing and home ownership schemes, in some cases (though not as much as during the 1970's and 1980's) a degree of social mobility.
Oh and police who do not carry guns and NO CIVIL WAR.
Sounds v. v. lovely to me - lots and lots of carrots and reasons to be involved in society.
I am not saying it is perfect, things never are, but on balance, the UK is a fantastic place to live, even if you have a squillion kids and lose your job.
However, there is currently very little stick in so far as encouraging the FEW individuals who DO exist who are unwilling to be responsible for themselves and ARE fully able to be responsible for themselves.
It is fairly common in other European countries to lose benefits if you aren't making any effort to help yourself. It is not as common to just accept that some children will be raised from the cradle to the grave, on benefits. IMO it's just not a healthy way to live - for either the adults or the children (especially as by defenition, if you are a child being raised on benefits you are much more likely to be classed as economically deprived and poor).
In the Netherlands if you are unlucky enough for your life plans to go astray - and life is never predictable - then when your youngest child is school aged you are EXPECTED to get back to work. If you are unable to get back to work, or are unable to rejoin your previous career / job due to injury, then you are supported to retrain into another career. If you don't, you get less money from the state - it's simple.
(annecdotal evidence - my Dutch friend was permanently injured by her XP and left to raise 2 small children. The neck injury prevented her from returning to work as a Nursery School Teacher - a career she loved and missed - but when her youngest was school aged she had to retrain to work in a different field and is now totally independant of the State and v. v. happy)
People still have the choice not to get back to work, or to have as many children as they want, or in some cases start work, but there are consequences to their actions. The people who claim benefits are treated like adults.
With the best will in the world, some people are too unmotivated to want to work and some people are too unmotivated to want to take responsibility for their own actions - we all do it at times...non of us are perfect regardless of our income or achievements in life. The less well off and benefit claimants among us are no different...
Personally I would like to see welfare reform that enables and actively encourages people to get back their independence from the state as I honestly believe it is a more posative way of life to be independant of benefits - if at all possible.
Society does view people who do not earn their own money as second class citizens whether or not they are supported by the state or their partner - of course this does not apply if you are super rich and have a private income 
. I'm currently a SAHM and lots of people don't view this as a proper job!