I am thinking about converting to Quakerism. Any Quakers who could answer a few questions?

[paulaplumpbottom]

I'm wondering if there is a big diffrence between liberal Quakers and Mainstream.

Do most Quakers support people's sexuality?

Do most believe in equality of the sexes?

HI PPB,
Basically what I like about the Quakers is that you can be just about anything you want..... you can be Quaker / Christian/ Aethesit/ buddhist/ gay /straight etc. All viewpoints are accepted - from what I understand.

I have a v v limited experience of Quakers but whenever I've been too a meeting I've really enjoyed it. I went last weekend for the first time since DD was born (6 years) and the silence was lovely and I felt strangely invigorated afterwards. Yes, of course the silence is tricky and you think about your "to do" list but that's not a problem it goes away. (Just like meditating). Some meetings have shorter meetings - 30 minutes rather than a hour.

To give you an idea of their beliefs look at this website:
www.quaker.org.uk/

THe BBC website has a good overview of QUakerism and where it fits in the Christian spectrum.
www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/subdivisions/quakers_1.shtml

Re; Clothing - Last week at our local meeting the heating had broken so my advice is wear lots of layers --as meeting houses can be chilly just like churches!!

Hope this helps. Let us know how you get on.

PFS XXX

No there isn't a standard start time, I guess you'll have to phone the local contact and find out what time they kick off. (so to speak !!)

OH and another thing - you don't convert to Quakerism, from my understanding (I don't know the precise details) you have to be accepted for membership by the local meeting. At first you are an "attender" then you become a full blown Quaker after the local meeting "agrees" to you joining. Then they give you a big hat and a bowl of Quaker oats to celebrate with. (Just kidding!)
PFS

Thanks for the links PFS.

No I can do it for an hour, I just have a mind that wanders

Yes, PFS is right - 'convert' is not quite the right word. But some people are 'attenders' for many years (my mum was) and never actually decide to become a Friend.
Re start time, in theory they might start at different times but it's usually 10.30 IME!
In the UK you can find your local meeting here - start times are usually online as well.

Hello,

I'm so pleased I found this thread. I was about to ask whether there are any Quakers out there who could tell me what it's like and it appears you've already done so. Many thanks for all the information people have posted about meetings etc.

I have always been interested in quakerism but thought it was was a bit of a thing of the past(sorry!)and didn't know there were so many out there. We have a strong quaker tradition in our neck of the woods (East Anglia) and I suspect I've met plenty of quakers, just never realised! There's a meeting in our local town which I'm going to try to get to once a month and having read the postings, I'm really looking forward to it now.

Although the hour of silence may take some getting used to...

Paula did you manage to get there this Sunday?

So glad I've found this thread. I've been thinking about it for a while. Quite a while actually, I did an assignment on Quakers for my RE o'level back in the 80's.

Thank you for all of your links. I've found my local Meeting House and may be going along on Sunday. You've answered all of the questions I was going to post

Dear INSS - if you really do need some sleep then a meeting is a really good place to have some head space iykwhim. A couple of weeks ago I went to a meeting for the first time in years and felt really invigorated / refreshed afterwards. This week I"m taking DD (age 5) and I hope she likes it.

Paula - what news of your meeting - did you make it? Or did snow stop play ??

Thanks PFS. I took a look at our local meeting house on tinternet last night. It says that children are welcome but they don't have any at present. If you are thinking of bringing children along, please phone first so that they can make arrangements.

I think thats fair enough. Will go on my own first though.

The only problem I have is that Sunday is usually the only family day we have together and that's not every week. DS is already asking if we can all go swimming on Sunday morning.

I feel that I really would benefit from going though.

As well as the hour of silence (with ministry - people will stand up and speak from time to time but speaking during the last five minutes is not the done thing) there is also usually tea and coffee and chatting afterwards.

Usually if it is your first time, the clerk will ask if there are any visitors who want to introduce themselves at the end. Generally the form is to say "I'm [name] and this is my first time at a Quaker meeting" and they'll reply saying how welcome you are and that they hope you'll come again. There may also be visitors from other meetings who will 'bring greetings' and the clerk will ask them to take that meeting's greetings back with them.

BowBlueBell where in East Anglia are you? My mother in law is the co-clerk at Wymondham meeting.

At business meeting the people there never vote on things, they don't necessarily have to come to complete consensus either. The clerk will draft a minute and keep re-drafing it until everyone there is happy with it.

They do a lot of good work with the homeless and asylum seekers and overseas charity stuff.

They do not judge people on their sexuality - indeed at the last yearly meeting gathering they decided that same sex couples should be allowed to be married at meeting. (Married as opposed to having civil partnership because they believe all should have the same rights). A minoriy didn't like the decision and there was quite a flurry of pro and anti letters to The Friend (the weekly Quaker magazine).

If anyone lives in London and is interested, Friends House on Euston Road do a thing called Quaker Quest for those interested in finding out more about Quakers' views on things (although of course these are far from uniform). It takes place on Monday Evenings. Info here: www.quakerquest.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=27&Itemid=39

I'm an attender and have been for a couple of years. I'm considering requesting to become a member.

Hi
PPB and INeedSleep - did either of you make it to a QUaker meeting. Would love to hear what you thought.

I took DD along last week and she went to the kids group which she enjoyed enough to want to go back. At the end of the adults meeting the kids come and sit with their parents for a few minutes silence. When my DD came in to the meeting she hiccuped for the duration (about 5 minutes)- I thought she'd find that funny - but surprisingly she just sat quietly whilst her silly mummy smirked at the continuous "hiccup" sounds.

Sorry for the late reply, have been out of action. I have been to two meetings now and I have enjoyed them both. Everyone was very friendly. I didn't think I could cope with the silence for an hour but a few people did speak and it flew by. It was very peaceful. Very much like meditation. I think I might become a regular attended.

am so glad you went, and enjoyed the experience paula, just caught up with this thread with interest. i've been a regular attender at my local meeting house for 18 months or so, and am so grateful to have stumbled across a group of wise, non-judgmental, warm and loving people who have the same values and interests as i do without necessarily sharing every aspect of my (buddhist-leaning) belief system. i knew virtually nothing about quakers before going for the first time, and only got in touch with them because i wondered if i could possibly borrow their gorgeous old timber-framed premises to hold a meditation group in now and again! in fact now as a spin-off from the quaker meeting i hold fortnightly meditation groups in my own living-room, while continuing to attend meeting on sundays as often as i can. i sometimes bring my daughter (8) along, but sadly there are no other children at this particular meeting. she reads her book and enjoys being made a fuss of at the end over tea and biscuits though! i find the hour is different every time - sometimes i manage to go into a vaguely meditative state, and feel calmed, warmed-through and peaceful. sometimes i read a few pages of a buddhist or quaker book, sometimes i wrestle with emotional 'ishoos', sometimes i stare out of the window at the trees. once, memorably, i burst into loud, snorty SOBS halfway through meeting - EEK!!! they were SO lovely, thought, and i was ushered outside into the daffodil-studded garden and sat on a bench in the spring sunshine with one of the elders, until i had calmed down. in some ways i couldn't have chosen a more supportive and accepting environment in which to go (briefly) to pieces! i felt so ... 'held'. i love my quaker friends, i really do. they are mostly in their 70s and 80s i should add, so it's been a really nice way of getting to know that tier of society locally - they are such a shining illustration of the fact that age matters not a jot - certainly not when it comes to matters of the spirit, anyway!
good luck with your continuing journey
XXX

Sadly, I haven't made it yet as I'm just recovering from a bad chest infection, again.

Can't go this Sunday either as we are off to a family party and the Sunday after DH is working.

I WILL make it though, think I really need to.

I'm thinking of going along to a Quaker meeting. Can someone tell me what time is best to turn up? They say the local ones start at 10.30am, but does that mean 'seats on bums', as it were, by 10.30? If I turn up at 10.15 will that be sensible, or wierdly early?

Well team, on the back of this thread I took myself off to a meeting today and felt very welcomed. It was contemplative, supportive and informative. It was very different to any church service I have ever been to, but it had real appeal for many reasons. I am definitely looking into this further and am quite excited that I may have found something spiritual an inclusive which seems to "fits me and does not present a ridgid code or dogma with which I take immediate issue.

I would recommend going to a meeting but do hang around afterwards for a good chat with the Friends.

Thank you posters for this thread and your comments

I have been thinking about going to my local meeting, even emailed them and asked about times etc. But i am very shy sometimes and find talking to people that i don't know so hard.

I need to get over myself and just go.

I found the folk to be genteele and warm and pleased to have me there! I am sure they will make you feel very comfortable.

Thanks everyone - I feel inspired too.
I stopped going to church about 2 years ago, after just being totally depressed at the negative and hostile attitude to homosexuality and women.

I think it's going to take decades for the Church of England to get its act together on this, and the attitude of the evangelical groups just totally baffles me.

Anyone had any experience of what children get out of going to a Quaker meeting though? I've read they attend the first 10/15 minutes of silence and then go to a group. My kids are 6 and 8.

I have been to one meeting and enjoyed. However I have since had my ds who is 6 months old, so not really keen on silence for an hour!

Quaker quest is something that is run all over the country, there is one run here in Leeds.

If there are any friends in SE London / North Kent area who wouldn't mind me seeking some advice, I would be really grateful if you could let me know.

DD has somehow ended up at a Quaker school, and it seems great to us. The littlies go to the meetings, and have to be quiet for, ooh, about 60 seconds (something of an achievement for DD, who's five). The older ones, I believe, do it properly. The whole school has a wonderful air of peace and calm and, above all, great kindness about it. They seem totally accepting of everyone, and genuinely seem to value every child for being themselves. That's not quite what you asked, Jix, but it's our experience of children and Quakerism.

I've still not made it to a meeting and DH is working all weekend again this weekend.

Thanks Roslily for mentioning Quaker Quest. Have just googled it and found the website but unfortunately they are all approximately 3 to 4 hours drive away!

However, I did spot that you can send off for a free information pack, so I've done that tonight.

Another question for any Quakers out there tonight. I've received my enquiry pack today. Which do you recommend I read first, Advices and Queries or The Light That is Shining?