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Reluctant worshippers - come and see what RubySlippers has to say on "Tradition"

51 replies

MaryBS · 28/01/2009 15:43

OK you lot, just because the Rev ain't here, doesn't mean you can skive off and miss exercising those few brain cells you had left after having children...

Today we have Ruby Slippers taking the floor (and the choccy biscuits and the collection, while my back is turned...).

She's going to talk to us all about Tradition, and how we all have them, and what they mean to us. In particular her own faith tradition...

So sit tight and listen up good!

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 29/01/2009 19:12

i am so pleased that one of the main meanings of the reflections came through, namely that tradition doesn't have to be a big, significant thing or even a religious thing

Peachy - i like your comments "And I think tradition is an evolutionary requirement: we are at our hearts tribal, and the bonds that keep tribes close are founded on traditions. They help us recognise our kin, those we share genes with and might rely on (and shouldn't marry! very important that LOL- from someone whom it has been suggested may have married a relative (long story involving a FIL abandoned by his Mum, a Dh who is the spit of my Dad and a recent tracing of FIL's Mum back to my home town- 99% sure there's nowt in it....). They also make us feel secure and give us ways to cope with the bad things such as death, as well as celebrate the best events of our lives."

Webstermum · 29/01/2009 20:39

Thank you for sharing this Ruby - very interesting & thought provoking, especially for someone who knows nothing about Jewish tradition

Lulumama · 29/01/2009 20:41

if i had not cut DS's hair for 3 years, it would have been down to his waist !

Oggsdog · 29/01/2009 20:47

Lovely Ruby

gingercurl · 29/01/2009 22:29

Thanks Ruby, that is very thought provoking. As an expat with no living parents (but two living siblings) it has become increasingly important to me to pass the traditions from my country and my family to my ds. It's as if I feel that if he grows up to speak my language, celebrate holidays like we do in my homecountry and to perform my family's little quirky ceremonies (like having to spit into the water when crossing a bridge on foot) he will somehow have a link with the grandparets he will never get to know and that, by speaking my language, he will have a stronger bond with my home. It's my greatest wish that he grows up with strong roots in both his parents' cultures.

rubyslippers · 30/01/2009 07:59

Ginger - sounds like your DS will have that link

The Upsherin tradition really interests me and since i have written this reflection it seems so many other cultures and religions do something simiar in terms of marking the first haircut. It seems it isn't so unusual to not cut hair ...

DS's is past his shoulders already - wasted on a boy really

boccadellaverita · 30/01/2009 22:48

Thank you so much, Ruby.

ilovemydogandMrObama · 30/01/2009 23:11

Tradition appears to be something constant that has significance? I hadn't thought of tradition being small things, so perhaps I need to reflect on this aspect.

It's true that tradition finds comfort and meaning in rituals. Dinner at the same time every evening, bath time and bedtime means that children can align their bodies and thoughts to specific criteria. This is a good thing as it provides boundaries and consistency.

But more importantly, there are traditions that connect generations to each other. In my family all the males have x as a name either as a first name or middle name which has gone on for hundreds of years.

My son has it as a middle name, and when I told my grandmother, she broke down in tears as it was her father's (and my father's) name.

So, tradition also pays tribute to people one admires and respects.

Isn't the phrase, 'imitation is the best form of flattery?'

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 01/02/2009 13:42

Ruby - thank you so much for this reflection.

I have been trying for a long time to put my finger on what I find disturbing about the changes happening in my local church.

You have summed it up perfectly, they are modernising, they are sweeping away all the traditions in order to make it more palatable to the younger generation. But to me, they are throwing the baby out with the bath water, there are lovely traditions within the Christian faith (as with all faiths) and I am loathed to see them disguarded.

We have traditions as a family, and have started new things that I hope we will continue well into the future.
I make time each night to talk through DS1's day (and will do DS2 when he is older) I wait until he is in bed and the light is off and we lie there together and talk for 5-15 minutes, and then at the end we try to say what each of our best things was. I want him to know he is heard, and that he can tell me anything. It has been in these special quiet times that he has been able to tell me that someone upset him, or last week - that someone punched him.

Anyway - the other traditions that we are blending together are DH's family traditions as a Chinese Tao Buddhist family. I love it.

enough waffle from me - I only really popped in for the biscuits - you got any pink waffers this week?

rubyslippers · 02/02/2009 11:01

thank you ILOVE and BYTHEPOWER

i do think it is the small things which can root us - i must try and find a story about this as i heard it years ago and it was lovely ...

BYTHEPOWER - that is sad ... sometimes we need to keep some things as they are or what have we got left? If you endlessly change and dilute something what are you left with - something which satisfies no-one

as for pink wafers, i think MaryBS hid them all

rubyslippers · 02/02/2009 11:05

this is the story - cut and pasted

There was a new bride, we'll call her Elma, who wanted to make a special dinner to celebrate her love for her husband. Elma found out that his favorite dinner was pot roast. So she set about making pot roast. She seasoned the meat and tucked garlic into it, carved the potatoes and carrots into the shape of flowers (she was REALLY in love); phoned her Mother-in-Law five times during the cooking to make sure she was doing everything exactly the way he liked it.

Well, Fred sat down to dinner and he was just amazed. The wine was crisp and dry, the carved vegetables tasted as good as they looked and the pot roast tasted even better than his own Mom made it. ("Don't tell her I said that.") Then he noticed something strange.

"Elma, honey, just one question. I noticed that when you made the pot roast, you cut a 2-inch chunk off one end and cooked that in a separate pot. Why'd you do that?"

"What do you mean? You're supposed to do that. That's why it's called pot roast. Because you cook part of it in a separate pot."

"I never heard of that before."

"Well, that's the way my Mother always made pot roast."

A month or so later, Elma and Fred were invited to Elma's mother's house for dinner. It was a big fuss. Myra, Elma's mother had called Elma & they'd gone into great detail about the fact that Fred's favorite food was pot roast, and it had to be seasoned just so and the vegetables cut into flower shapes. (Myra drew the line there -- she wasn't the one madly in love, after all). The dinner was a big success but as they were eating, Fred noticed the sliced-off piece of pot roast cooking in the separate pot again, and he couldn't contain himself. He had to ask why.

"What do you mean?" said Myra. "You're supposed to do that. That's why it's called pot roast. Because you cook part of it in a separate pot."

"I never heard of that from anybody else."

"I told you," said Elma.

"Well, that's the way my Mother always made pot roast," Myra said.

Fortunately, Myra's mother, Granny Claire, lived with Myra, and was dozing in her rocking chair. They shook her awake and asked.

"Grandma, Fred wants to know why when you cook pot roast, you're supposed to cut a 2-inch chunk off one end and cook that in a separate pot?"

"What are you talking about, child?"

"That's why it's called pot roast," said Myra. "Because you cook part of it in a separate pot. That's how you always made it."

"I never did that."

"Yes, you did!" said Myra.

"That's what Momma taught me," said Elma.

Granny Claire sat and thought for a moment. Then she laughed and said, "I know what you're talking about, Myra. When you were little, George left me and I had to raise you on my own. We didn't have a lot of money. We only had a few pots to cook in, and neither of them were big enough to fit a whole pot roast in, so I had to cut it in two parts and cook it seperately."

The story illustrates the importance of understanding the meanings behind what you're doing, rather than to do it by rote.

Now that Elma understands why the pot roast was prepared that way, she has choices.

  1. She can cease cutting the pot roast in two, because the practical reason behind it is gone.

  2. She can preserve cutting the pot roast in two as a family tradition in honor of Claire's strength in bringing the family through rough times (and with a little aside about how funny it was how they discovered the truth about the pot roast.)

MaryBSnowing · 02/02/2009 14:39

Just wanted to say I didn't have all the pink wafers - just the choccy snowballs

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 02/02/2009 17:19

ooh choccy snowballs - seems very appropriate for today

MaryBSnowing · 02/02/2009 21:10

(brings out hidden stash and proffers the packet to BTPoG)

I love that story, Ruby! My mother was always coming out with stuff like that when we were younger. Like when she made a pie, she would mark it with an H (to let the steam out of the crust). I remember asking her as a child whether any other mark would do, she said no. I asked her a few years ago why an H, and she couldn't remember telling me, and confirmed it didn't matter, but I still mark my pie crusts with an H

lisalisa · 03/02/2009 00:31

ruby =- we're about to do upsherin too. Loved your post

rubyslippers · 04/02/2009 19:47

thank you lisalisa and Mazel Tov

mangolassi · 05/02/2009 08:18

"Is it not a parents? task to give their children both roots and wings?"

lovely

lisalisa · 05/02/2009 13:21

rubyslippers - this is an absolutely massive long shot but..........

i am looking to find invitaitons for the upsherin wihtout having to spend a silly amount of money. tried looking online for downloadable printables today but nothing even vaguely relevant and also a bit worried about computer viruses downloading too!!!

Did you send out invites and if so where did you get them?

Thanks

Lisalisa

justaboutindisguise · 05/02/2009 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rubyslippers · 05/02/2009 14:10

Lisalisa - we did ours online and I will ask DH for the name of the site we used

lisalisa · 05/02/2009 14:14

Oh ruby thank you thank you thank you!!!!

Waiting with anticipation........

lisalisa · 05/02/2009 14:15

Rev - hesitant to click on your link in case it is another israel thread. With the stuff that went on there don't want antoher one at the mo'!

justaboutindisguise · 05/02/2009 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justaboutindisguise · 05/02/2009 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lisalisa · 05/02/2009 22:14

How are you rev - have you recovered from all that kerfuffle a few weeks ago|?