Does anyone have a daily meditation practice? Would anyone like one but needs motivation?

[mangolassi]

Ooh, I feel all shy

I am agnostic and generally confused about spiritual things, but after recovering from a bout of pnd found a great book - The Mindful Way Through Depression. It has a programme of daily meditation, and I've tried in the past, but it's soooo hard to stick to with no support.

The meditation style in the book is 'western insight' - basically vipassana with the Buddhism taken out - but it would be great to have a thread for anyone trying to get started with daily practice, whatever kind of meditation appeals. Even better if there's anyone who actually has a daily practice already

ps girls (good morning!) 'buddhist stories' by anita ganeri was the library book we got - it was really good. both my 8 yr old and my 5 yr old enjoyed it. we also got one of those books which are part of a series introducing kids to all the major faiths - have you seen them, at all? - 'i am buddhist' 'i am hindu' and so on. follows one child as they go about daily life including school. this was about a kid called dylan (v cood surfy type w long hair who both my kids remained convinced was in fact a girl) (perhaps he/she was, i now ponder!! can dylan be a girl's name? i think it can...)going to europe's only buddhist school, allegedly, the one in brighton. which was intriguing in itself!
back later xxx

hi justa! so glad your little boy is better. i know - there are definitely different levels of croup! my DS had it a couple of weeks ago in the tent as i mentioned - nice timing! - but was better within two hours. different scene altogether eh! fingers crossed yours continues with his speedy recovery! X

yes very glad he is better now justabout - sounds horrible

Katie - yes, i will sue for malpractice if the HG thing goes horribly wrong...am terrifed now...am probably the only person ever to have put their lives in the hands of one...and it's all your fault

anyway, thanks for name of buddhism for children book, you earn one brownie point back for that, I suppose

... hey, on the plus side peanut i do refer to a friend of mine regularly who is HG-trained although is a GP, so i guess that counts - she is definitely doing some good work on some pretty entrenched ishoos!! i promise
thanks for the solitary brownie point anyway! must get DS from skool. have been trying to be mindful on the long cycle home just now with DD - it's been v good for me to stare calmly at bluebells, red campion and cow parsley and not letting my natural impatience get the better of me, as DD takes aeons to cover 50 metres due to fascination with caterpillars, dead hedgehogs etc! children...bringing you back to the NOW at every moment, eh...

hello everyone, hope all are well this week

have had a bit of a funny weekend

got very down on Friday, there were a variety of spurious reasons (good friend going for tests at hospital was preying on my mind) but nothing major, I just felt really sad. I tried to be mindful, to do my TNH breathing etc and it helped a tiny bit, in the end I just gave in and took to my bed at 9pm for a great sleep. Amazingly next morning my mood had lifted. Saturday I got to go out with DH to an exhibition in town as his brother looked after the kids, then we went out to a friends and unfortunately the evening was predicated around drinking (it was a wine tasting evening and our host had gone to such trouble I couldn't bow out) after the first couple of glasses my resolve was in tatters and I ended up not-sober. Sunday was a write off. Ended up drinking more Sunday night. Had a lovely day yesterday but again needed to go to bed at 9pm and couldn't get up this morning. I am finding my resolve not to drink weakening. Am also slipping back towards more unhealthy eating habits which a)make me feel fat and b)probably make me more prone to low moods (in a number of ways - as the "fat" thing undeniably causes low moods for me). This week I will be trying to dig deep to get myself back on a more even keel.

hope you are all ok and have a good week.

XX

anyone?

hello lovely ms p brittle. i am here! and wish you were too. come and have lunch in the sunny-windy garden with me ...it is half-term, and i have four kids rioting around the place, and have come to chat to fellow adults as a little refuge from their (loud!) japes. first, here is a HUG (()) and i am so sorry you've felt low (just as my mood lifted yours dipped, it seems. ah the roller-coater of our emotions...). you know the rules for getting out of a pattern, don't you - one (or even two!) off days do NOT mean that all the good work has unravelled, just like that. they were just little blips - maybe a reminder that all our familiar patterns of unhelpful behaviour can still act as traps when we are unwary/unmindful! i know that my own low period recently was an example of that - i let myself start to dwell on the past again, go over hurtful experiences, wallow in past misery - familiar friggin' scene, in short. gradually it's lifted and i feel more able to be back in the present again. but it's so easy to embrace the familiar, isn't it. even when we KNOW, with our rational heads on, that it's the path to misery and anguish. dukkha, as i believe it's known ...must go monitor kids for a moment, back soon. x

ps peanut (kids all still alive ) - just finished vajragupta's book - i liked it very much. what's next? any thoughts?
oh i know - i have the small challenge of skim reading both 'crime and punishment' AND 'brothers karamazov' in time for hearing rowan williams speak to AN wilson at the hay festival on thursday - on the topic of faith and dostoevsky. blimey!!! only thing i'm going to all week so it seems i decided to make it high-brow - wish me luck . thing is, i keep reading references to dostoevsky in various books i read on the topic of faith - eg 'holiness' by donald nicholls - donald is a huge fan too; apparently rowan williams has written a book on the subject of D&F. cripes. have got to page 10 of BK (in three days.) it's of biblical proportions. there is no hope.

i have arranged to trial another meditation-with-a-buddhist-slant group locally next week - in hay itself - it's an outfit based in wales - meditationinwales.org. i don't suppose it's a great idea to mix traditions (they are not FWBO, i forget their name altogether in fact, i'd never heard of it before) but it IS close to me, a huge bonus! off to FWBO in worcester again tonight if i can get away in time though. am really looking fwd to it.

have a lovely day everyone. how are you feeling,justa - any less tired/sick? hope things are getting a little easier as time passes! XXX

thanks Katie - just a quickie to say I wasn't totally desperate - I posted the "anyone?" bump thinking I was on a holiday thread ...sorry all!

thanks for your wise words Katie - of course you are right

am just about to head off with my pal whose father died recently now, it's his first day back in work so I asked him out to lunch, so I simply cannot be in a depressive mood...

Evening all!
Have been a bit busy recently but have been lurking and thinking of you all often.
Justa - hope all the family are all well now and DS is recovered from hospital experience.

Katie - speed reading Dostoevsky by Thursday sounds like a tall order. Best of luck. I was in Malvern at the weekend with DH and DD - it was wonderful. I gather from your postings that you live in that area so I sent some positive vibes to you from on top of a hill.

Re: What you said about mixing traditions - the meditation group I'm intending to go to - has the same leader. (Looks like John Noakes to me?) When I eventually get to a class I'll let you know what I think. However doesn't Guru Sarah say she just goes to any buddhist class she can get to ? (may have mis-remembered this.)

Re: Another book to read - I got this from the library and I'm enjoying it: Its An End to Suffering - Buddha in the WOrld. It's hardly a snappy title but it's v interesting particularly regarding the history of Buddhism coming to the west. ( The author goes to the Himalayas and spends a lot of time contemplating his life and that of Buddha's .) www.amazon.com/End-Suffering-Buddha-World/dp/0312425090
PB - so sorry to hear that you had a difficult weekend. I hope the lunch with your friend wasn't too draining. What a good friend you are though.

This morning I was reading Guru Sarah (BFM) in particular what she says about attachment. I was reading whilst walking into work (!) and was carrying a very heavy hand bag - full of the usual (un)necessary stuff that I deem to be essential. I suddenly realised that all that junk I carry around in my bag is like all the "problems", unhelpful behavours, attitudes, habits, hang ups and insecurities I have. If I could stop being attached to these things then I'd be able to travel through this life much lighter. Hardly a major revelation I guess but it made me think.

Take care all.
PFS

PFS - you inspired me to clear out my (vast, bulging) handbag this morning!!! now i just need to work on the minor detail of my psychological baggage

back later, but thanks for the positive vibes, that's lovely! the malverns are just a little to the west of here, to my shame i have yet to walk them, must remedy this asap. i tend to dive into the brecon beacons/black mountains instead as they are only 30 mins away.

are you really going to a kampana (??) buddhism meditation class? we must compare notes. i know exactly zero about it, so plan to get on the net later on at some stage and do a little research.

must feed kids before running off to choir - tra-LA

ps girls - i have taken a MAJOR, MAJOR step. as previously discussed there appears to be some globe-wide catastrophe on the distribution front as far as BFM is concerned. i have had three copies on order from two different websites since i was a small child (or so it feels). so when my sister-in-law visited at the weekend i ONCE AGAIN LET MY COPY OUT OF THE HOUSE - for,as you will recall, only the second time in my life since acquiring it. yes, i admit that it returned to me from my mother's house. but WILL IT DO SO AGAIN? we can't know! we can only hope! there's impermanence for you! there's Not Getting Attached to One Particular Outcome!

must go and meditate NOW

no time to write much but just wanted to let you all know that I spotted two yes TWO copies of BFM in a certain waterstones yesterday - if anyone is desperate I could pop in there next week and get one...

yes PFS I could do with a clear out too, on more levels than one

isn't it great how this sort of stuff makes you think that sort of stuff?!

excuse me, I'm exhausted so totally inarticulate - hope you get my drift

right - off to collapse

love to all

Here's a question.... how do you stop being attached to a bad feeling / emotion. DD was 5 yesterday. Her natural father sees her every day at school but during holidays he disappears off the scene. This means that we heard nothing from him yesterday. No birthday card, present or phone call. This is the 4th year in row this has happened.

Everytime I think of how hurt she must be I am full of absolute hate and loathing for her father. I am very "attached" to these feelings - even though they bring me "suffering". But he is hurting the person most precious to me. What to do? How to stop being attached this behaviour. ( I suppose that i want him to understand the cruelty of his behaviour)

The good news is that DD does have a very kind and loving step father.

pinkfluffy - that is such a hard, hard question to answer. i am re-reading pema chodron's 'the places that scare you' and will report back if i find anything helpful in that. you remember from BFM the mantra that difficult people in our lives are the ones that teach us the most - surely very true; but how can that help us deal with hurt being dealt to someone other than ourselves? in your case, your innocent and adored DD. a really tough one. i definitely read a few pages relevant to this exact situation in one of my buddhist books though, and now cannot for the life of me remember which!! any long-time practising buddhists around? zazen, any thoughts?!

one thing's for sure - buddhism is much, much harder to practice when you're feeling crowded out by those awful negative emotional states to which we've become attached over the years - it's a much easier practice when things are going smoothly! i was reminded of this today in the supermarket when i felt hot, tired, stressed, hemmed in by small children, tired of having had visitors all week, in desperate need of time to myself and some space in which to just 'be'. i felt closed-down to my fellow shoppers, uninterested in their suffering and focussed only on getting the HELL out of there and home. i thought on the way home, hmmm. so you get a little hot and tired and the whole compassionate open-hearted effort goes out of the window? impressive

good luck with dealing with those hard emotions PFS. remember that your ex is damaging his future relationship with his child, ie himself, much more than he is damaging her - she has security, stability, a lovely mummy who dotes on her and a kind and loving stepfather

ps girls - i saw rowan williams at the hay festival yesterday. he is my new hero. WHAT a mind! i find it so pleasing that somebody so obviously wise, good and of such hugely far-reaching intellect, humility and COMMON SENSE should be head of the church of england. he said lots of buddhist and quaker things too - justa, have you seen him talk? the theme was faith in the works of dostoevsky (cripes!) - the kids luckily had an ipod loaded up with cartoons thanks to my well-prepared pal. they were suitably intrigued by the 'holy man' initially - and especially by his eyebrows

Oh Katie thank you so much for v kind words and thoughts. I really do appreciate it.

This morning after posting this I was talking to someone at the playground ( a friend of a friend) and her father behaved in a very similar way to my DD's father - and she has turned out to be the most sane and lovely young girl and not "messed" up at all by her dad's shitty behaviour.

Anyway DD is v v happy today and not asking about her dad at all as this afternoon we bought her a hamster. Gilbert the hamster is now happily running around his cage. Who needs a duff dad when you've got a hamster....

Plsd to hear ROwan Williams was good.

Must away and prepare in a mindful way for DD's birthday party tomorrow --- 26 kids coming!-

Toodlepip xx

hello again all - have been thinking so hard about PFS' question that I couldn't bring myself to post until I had an answer...then I realised there are many ways of thinking about it, and practices that might help, but of course [big lightbulb moment] NO ONE ANSWER

doh!

anyway, I've been reading everyday zen by charlotte joko beck and it is very interesting (though the committment she reckons is necessary is totally daunting - guess it depends of your agenda) and something she writes in there did make me stop and wonder whether it might help - she talks about creating "A Bigger Container" (think learning your ABCs she says ) in times when faced with difficult emotions like this...where we have to look at and observe our emotions and everytime try to make A Bigger Container so that we/something/the external observer within us that we are connecting with has space to grow. Does that make any sense at all? she puts it more eloquently than that, of course.

Then again I don't think that really answers your question PFS, which was after all about your attachment to these feelings. Or maybe it does. I thought it was such an interesting question, I have to admit I had never really thought about attachment in that way before and so you have opened up a whole new perspective on things to me for which I am very grateful.

The only other sort of practical thing I would say is that maybe your dd doesn't actually feel it is such a big deal...I know sometimes we supposed grown-ups read more significance into "important dates" like birthdays/mother's day etc than the littlies ever do...until we train them in our images of course!

Anyway, I hope you find a way to move forward. Sounds like your DD has all she really needs in you and your new partner.

I've been plagued with more "blue" feelings, and have been quite irritable all weekend. I think I have been more tired than usual. And my dodgey hip has been giving me grief. I went to pilates on Saturday morning which usually helps but it was a new teacher and amazingly made it worse. Pain always makes me grouchy!

On the plus side, I went to see the HG counsellor and we had a good session, we've identified two or three things for me to work on and I think it is good timing as I plan to go back to GP next week and talk about reducing the meds so good to have made a connection with someone who can hopefully help through that period.

I got to my lovely FWBO meeting last thursday, and it was lovely. We had a good discussion on mindfulness which will be continued this week. I met two of the ordained members of the group accidentally on Saturday and mentioned my upcoming trip sto taraloka and they said it is their favourite retreat centre, so that's nice too.

AND, I made contact with the Order of Interbeing bods and am off to check them out tonight. Will be interesting to see how their practice compares.

Meanwhile, am not managing to do much sitting at home, but am knitting mindfully, drinking tea mindfully and have even manged to eat one or two meals mindfully (they are doing a 14 day mindful eating programme on the tricycle website). I find mindful eating almost the hardest. It's as though I come up against a wall and to go forward will hurt me - in a good way am sure but it makes me frightened for some reason. As though it will rip some veneer off me and leave me with my soft slug belly exposed. Brrrrr. What's all that about? Anyway, better stop thinking about this and get down to work.

metta to you all

XXX

hello all
PB what a v interesting post on about ten different levels. so much to absorb and comment on! can't possibly do you justice right now - will return. we had an amazing weekend in pembrokeshire with our new caravan (ARGH! middle age i have TRULY arrived!) by the sparkling sea - loved it.
PB mindful eating is simply an impossibility for me. i just cannot do it at all, isn't it intriguing how hard it is for us? why, i wonder?? must get back to work xxx

hey Katie

wow - you are a carvan virgin no longer - way to go! dead envious of your trip to the coast. Must make me an ABC to deal with that.

never responded to your report on the wye festival - glad you had "fun" - so, deep question, have you thrown TNH over for Rowan Williams now then?

as if!!! the Community of Interbeing has me too firmly in its cult-clutches for that

peanut, i loved the weekend so much. just being by the sea is such a tonic isn't it - watching the kids body-boarding, all gleeful in their little shortie wetsuits, walking along the cliff path once they were asleep at night, seeing DS pottering around the caravan self-important in his official 'apprentice' role with his daddy - all lovely scenes. so hard to come back to RL!! including a flooding toilet cistern just as we were leaving home on the school run

going camping next weekend near brecon with a good friend and our three boys, so i have not totally relinquished the canvas experience just yet!