OCD (germs) and Holy Communion

[Fagin99]

Hi, this is a genuine question so I'm looking for helpful suggestions please if anyone has been in the same position.

I've recently started going to church again where there is Holy communion every week. However, I have life-long OCD around contamination (germs) and drinking from the same cup makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I do not want to do this, and I don't think I'm being completely unreasonable in cold/flu season.

I have so far 'got around' this by asking for a blessing only, but this is attracting slightly confused looks which is also making me uncomfortable. I genuinely don't know what to do and I'm finding it all very upsetting. I could talk to the vicar about it, but I genuinely am ashamed of the OCD and go to great lengths to hide it in everyday life.

For what it's worth, yes I have had therapy and it's helped me to life a pretty normal life. But I cannot get comfortable with sharing a cup with all these people, which is distressing as I don't want to appear like I'm not committed.

I know some churches accept dipping the wafer into the wine (intinction?) but even this feels strange and I don't want to risk upsetting anyone by doing something different.

Has anyone felt like this? Or can offer a helpful suggestion? Thank you x

In the Catholic church it is very unusual to offer the wine, the priest takes the very small amount that is consecrated, everyone else gets the wafer.

And hands are sanitised in clear view after the consecration and before distributing the wafers on the hand, so people should feel safe.

Hi, I made some mistakes here that I would like to correct.
I meant that the Canon rules for the Eucharist write that they should be taken at least once a year. I also meant that I hope that I would not get ill from taking the Sacraments

Thank you so very much for your kind replies. I've honestly never felt so 'seen' and I really appreciate you sharing your experiences and thoughts. It's reassuring to know that this is actually quite a common dislike, and doesn't necessarily mean I'm being unreasonable.

Funnily enough, I grew up in a church that did offer individual cups, and I do wish that they offered that here, too.

You've all given me the confidence to talk to the vicar (which I think will make me feel better) and to not think badly about myself. Thank you all very much.

And @BunfightBetty, your reply actually made me shed a tear. My mental health struggles have never been taken seriously by my family and your kind validation meant a great deal to me to read. Thank you xx

I think you are really brave to acknowledge how this is affecting you. You’ve clearly worked hard to manage this in other areas of your life. You are heard. MH struggles are serious. I really hope your vicar can help you come to a solution you are happy with.

They wipe it in between.

Since Covid, only the vicar handles the bread wafers and he has a helper who places a few drops of wine on the wafer using a pipette.

Doesn't quite seem the same somehow, but clearly much better from a hygiene point of view.

I just assumed all churches had been told to do it this way due to Covid and then decided to stick with it.

Yeah, they wipe it in between... with the same part of the cloth every time!!

My friend used to be a server and that really put her off. Me too.

I don’t have ocd and I wouldn’t share a cup with anyone either op. I don’t think it’s a strange thing to be concerned about, it probably just feels it to you due to the ocd. I would take the vicar aside and talk to them privately.

don’t be ashamed of your ocd. I know it may make things difficult but please don’t feel ashamed

I’m so sorry your struggles haven’t been taken seriously by your family, that must feel very isolating. You deserve to have your suffering taken seriously. I bet living with OCD has meant you’ve had to be braver than your family on so many occasions.

In the Catholic Church there has been no wine drinking since Covid.

If you just want a blessing, you walk up to the altar with your arms crossed on your chest.

I too stopped having the wine after getting a bad respiratory illness from germs, even before it was stopped because of Covid. No one questioned it. Some people will also not have it if they are teetotal.

OP it will not matter at all if you don’t have the wine, or even if you don’t have either. If you would prefer to only have a blessing, ask how you can signal this at the altar rail.

OP you’ll be loved and welcomed however you take communion . At my church some kneel, some stand , some have wafer dipped, some have no wine at all, some have communion brought over to them , there’s also gluten free and alcohol free alternatives, honestly, you’re fine! It’s no one’s business how you take communion. Our lovely vicars say; “whatever is good for you,” I was surprised the shared cup is still used post Covid but I do drink from it . The bit of the service I worry about is the grace, not from a germ point of view but because of chronic shyness and awkwardness but I do it. Please, please don’t worry, you are loved as you are!

I never have the wine apart from at my own holy communion and weddings. I just eat the host.

In most of the free churches you have individual glasses and you help yourself to a glass and piece of bread at least in the Methodist and URC church

Trainee priest here. Just taking the bread or wafer and not the wine is called communion in one kind and is completely valid as a sacrament. Its quite a normal practice in my church, I think a lot of people didn't fancy going back to the shared cup after the pandemic. I am generally happy to drink from the common cup, but didn't yesterday because I have a stinky cold.

But do speak to your vicar about it (you don't have to mention the OCD if you don't want to) and I am sure they will understand and want to help where they can.

Are you Catholic or Church of England. It’s makes a difference in terms of the meaning of the Eucharist and also bread and wine

Methodist Churches use individual small glasses for Communion.

OP. I am a server in my local Church, and we have several people who only take the bread, or who dip the bread into the wine. No one thinks any differently about them, the important thing is that they are there, worshipping with the rest of us.
Thanks to the PP who mentioned about using the same bit of the cloth to wipe the chalice. I will bear this in mind and ensure that I don't do this in future.
I can remember being told that most chalices are made from Silver, which has germ killing properties.

I was just going to suggest that.

The wine is still offered in DM’s church. I never do. I always was told it was optional. Some do some don’t. As a non-practising catholic I frequently attend with family and don’t receive communion at all. I appreciate that may not be an option for me but nobody batted an eyelid.

Being brought up catholic was really bad for my OCD as a child generally, incidentally.

In the C of E we are not allowed to dip the water in the chalice. We were given permission during covid, but that was withdrawn. Around a quarter of my congregation just take the bread.

Science will protect you, the chalice should be made of silver - silver is highly anti microbial, anti bacterial and virusidal, contact with the cup does all manner of horrid things to poor old bacteria and virions - first an electrolytic reaction ruptures the cell wall, then the silver ions bind to the DNA of the little beasts and that's it, game over.

They don't like alcohol either, so are buggered really. when the cup is wiped everything is either wiped off or left as a thin film in contact with the silver.

Surgical instruments were silver plated before the days of antiseptics and high pressure sterilisers for similar reasons.

Church of England vicar here. Your question is one lots of other people wrestle with, OCD or not. At the risk of repeating what others have said, there are various possibilities:

> A combination of a silver-lined chalice, alcoholic wine and a diligent wipe between each person means any chance of germs/infection from normal sipping is very small indeed.
> In my church, we actively encourage intinction (dipping edge of wafer in the wine). I know some places don't do this, but we see it as a good solution.
> You can just receive the wafer and not wine, as in Roman Catholic Churches.
> You can have a separate mini glass for wine, if your church does that.

The main thing is: please don't be anxious or overthink it. Trust me, the vicar and congregation will just be happy you're there and want to join in. Any vicar worth bothering with will love to have a chat to help you find the best solution.

(And I'm a vicar, so I'm allowed to say this. If you have a weird vicar who refuses to discuss honest, sensible questions like yours, I'd start looking for another church!)

Gosh, thank you so much for your replies. I've genuinely been blown over by the kindness shown here, and all the helpful suggestions and advice.

It's a CofE church, and the service I attend is unusual in that the bread and wine is actually brought to you in your seat; creating an awkward moment when the server assumes I'm taking both, and I have to intervene and ask for a blessing or alternative. You're right in that I'm probably over-thinking the embarrassment of this, but it's hard when everyone else appears to follow suit.

I've asked my vicar for a quick chat this week, and he was very happy to oblige. I think I'd just like to ask what an acceptable alternative is - or one that won't raise questions about whether I'm confirmed etc (this did happen the other week).

Thank you also about the explanation of the antimicrobial properties of silver. I hadn't fully appreciated this.

Thank you again for your support. This thread has shown me how kind people can be xx

Gosh, thank you so much for your replies. I've genuinely been blown over by the kindness shown here, and all the helpful suggestions and advice.

It's a CofE church, and the service I attend is unusual in that the bread and wine is actually brought to you in your seat; creating an awkward moment when the server assumes I'm taking both, and I have to intervene and ask for a blessing or alternative. You're right in that I'm probably over-thinking the embarrassment of this, but it's hard when everyone else appears to follow suit.

I've asked my vicar for a quick chat this week, and he was very happy to oblige. I think I'd just like to ask what an acceptable alternative is - or one that won't raise questions about whether I'm confirmed etc (this did happen the other week).

Thank you also about the explanation of the antimicrobial properties of silver. I hadn't fully appreciated this.

Thank you again for your support. This thread has shown me how kind people can be xx