Death - do you fear it?

[DarthVader]

I think our society sidelines death and that we should discuss it more.

So, does it scare you?

I read an interesting article written by a woman in the last stages of cancer.

She put it perfectly.

'There's no such thing as 'your whole life ahead of you'. There's only the rest of your life.'

Death doesn't worry me but the manner of death does. Leaving my DCs before they are adults terrifies me.

Yes, I'd like to be cool but quite frankly it scares the living shit out of me. Not the moment or manner of death, but what comes after it, mainly because as scaryteacher says I simply cannot get my head around the concept of the disappearance of consciousness and self. I know that practically speaking, it's simply like someone cutting off the power - there is simply nothing anymore; not emptiness, not blackness, nothing so you'd be aware of nothing, but that doesn't make it less scary.

It's like if you try to imagine what happened before the universe, your brain (um, my brain anyway) is simply incapable of imagining a scenario for which it has absolutely no frame of reference.

I was once very seriously ill in hospital - possibly dying - and I remember that I did not have a great sense of the world I was leaving behind. You become very much immersed in the here and now and the space around your bed, and you don't think a lot about the world outside and the lives that are going to go on without you. At least, that was my experience.

That numbness and acceptance of my situation did give me great comfort in the years that followed re what it would be like to actually be dying.

But am I afraid of death? You betcha! I think about it a lot and with a deep sense of dread. I know that old people sometimes reach a point where they accept and even welcome that death is going to come to them (my grandmother did) but I find that incomprehensible. Just as well, as it would be desperately sad to be wanting to die at my age now. I suppose we can only hope that when our time comes, we are at that stage of acceptance.

I do believe that you are aware of when your time is coming(through illness)in a calming way.
The night before my dad died he refused to take his meds and said that he wanted to go with a clear head.
I also know lots of occassions where people have sat with their loved ones and the moment they leave the room they pass,as if they want to go alone.
I think the hospitals were doing studies of what actually happens around the person who is dying....such as changes in atmosphere etc. as so many nurses have reported identical things and phrases happening to patients in their last moments.
Others report that we all experience the same feelings as the brain releases a chemical when we die that makes as hallucinate and calms us,I prefer to believe the latter.

i think death itself doesnt scare me but what petrifies me is what will happen to my childre,how theyd cope and not seing them etc.

wrinklytum, does exsanguinate mean bleed to death? It is a new word on me and I can't find it in the dictionary, only exsanguinous which means "without blood".

I don't think that death is the end so it is the next great adventure really (if you are old and done all you want to to do). I know several very elderly people who have had enough, their bodies have worn out. We might find out the meaning of life!!

sometimes i wish i was religious as i dont know what i think about afterwards.

I've always had a very firm belief that there is no afterlife and you just cease to be. I never feared death as I believed I would have no consciousness to experience it, if that makes sense. Since losing my Dad in November and knowing that my DH has a terminal illness, I find that belief wavering. All the logical arguments still hold true for me but emotionally, I don't want to believe that my Dad no longer exists in any shape or form and even less do I want to believe that my DH will soon not exist. I wish I had a faith to hold on to as it must be such a comfort to believe you will see your loved ones again in an afterlife. As for fearing it, yes, I do now. My biggest fear is something happening to me while the DCs are still young. They're going to have to deal with losing one parent. It would be unbearable to think they could lose both.

CS I am definately not what you would call religious I prefer spiritual,that can be found anywhere.

It isn't really a religious thing, it doesn't take the form of heaven and I don't believe that you meet up with everyone and spend your time sending messages back through mediums!
However I saw my father when he had died and his body was a shell, he wasn't there. I also had an out of body experience years ago where I looked down on myself from some distance away (it was not drug induced).
I also think that there is a purpose in life-I think it is an old Spanish proverb-'take what you want' said God 'but pay for it'. However that may just be wishful thinking!! I think we are here to learn lessons-I am not too sure on the subject of karma but I think there may be something in it.

I also fear dying without warning, and not being able to say goodbye to my loved ones or make peace with the non-so loved ones. I would like to die in a sort of spiritual peace IYSWIM even if the actual way of dying is not peaceful.

my death doesn't scare me, but the thought of any other family members, or, even worse, DS, dying, brings me out in a cold sweat. Unfortunately my brother is dying so it's something I have to face

MummyDoIt
I feel the same as most people on here - upset at the thought of leaving DH and DS, but terrified of the thought there might be nothing more than the thought of something afterwards.

I do worry about not fulfilling everything I could in life before I die, so as a consequence am perhaps a tad too spontanious and risk-taking.

It's the method of death that concerns me, and leaving my baby motherless (and dh getting another wife, bastard )

lol brownSuga, you'd be back to haunt her!

I'm not afraid of dying but I am terrified of leaving my children motherless.

No but not looking to hasten it along

suprised noone said that classic "i am not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens" was it Woody Allen?

yes

No. But then I wonder if this is becasue I am young ( alright, alright, middle aged then !!)
Will I feel this way when I am 70 ?

not the dying itself but what i might die of, god forbid cancer or some other painful form of death! But the actual dying no. I read somewhere that your mind protects you anyways, when you stop breathing and you are starved of oxygen. Also if i am only going to live once i dont really want to spend it worried about dying!

maybemaybee I think that's a very good attitude
If I knew that after death I would be "somewhere" and looking down over DS and anyone else I love I wouldn't be worried