Evangelical Christians superiority complex???

[headache]

Let me try to explain this, I work with a few young Christians which is fine, great I have absolutely no problem with religion (FWIW I am an atheist married to a RC, my DC raised RC) I am happy for anyone who finds comfort in religion the work is a hard enough place and if religion brings you peace great.

What I do find strange is that they seem to have this superiority complex that unless you are a Christian you are a lesser person. Jim wouldn’t do that he’s a Christian, Sues a lovely person she’s a Christian etc. In addition, their whole personality/life is based around being a Christian, attending lots of events etc and they will only socialise with other Christians. They have said they won’t marry someone who is not a Christian and they don’t agree with gay/trans people. They also seem very intolerant of other religions which I found very surprising as I thought Christianity was about peace and love. With it being Eid recently I was talking about it and was immediately shut down yet they talk constantly about Christianity.

I was brought up culturally Christian, went to Sunday school etc and it wasn’t never like this so is it evangelical churches or just these few or a new thing?

I’ve known some bloody awful evangelical Christian’s - a pervert pastor who pulled me on to his knees, nasty Deacons who turn out to be alcoholics, backwards 1940’s attitudes towards women, religion, sexuality. I could go on and on.

I think this is a bit one sided so I’ll try to answer from the perspective of a small-E evangelical! There are a lot of very genuine, lovely evangelicals & you get good and bad apples in every bunch.

The difficulty is that the doctrine is quite black and white. You’re saved or you’re not and you are only saved by having faith in Christ’s work on the cross & acknowledging Him as Lord. It’s not a faith journey, grey area, ‘good person on balance of probabilities’ etc. And if you’re not saved, it’s eternal torment in hell. So for instance, that’s why I wouldn’t have married a non-evangelical. I don’t want to spend my life trying to convert my spouse/ “Bible-bashing” because that wouldn’t be fair on them but how could I not if I thought they were going to hell? And our whole worldview, morality etc is entirely different. I couldn’t marry (or be best best best friends tbf) with someone where I don’t share the fundamental foundational beliefs & values & goals of my life. That’s before practical issues (Church attendance being non-negotiable, no sex outside marriage etc)

that absolutely does not mean I think I’m better than anyone. I do acknowledge it can come across like that & I think there can be an arrogance issue in evangelical circles. God hates pride & arrogance so it is a problem.

I have many non-Christian friends & family members and love them dearly. Part of being a good witness to Jesus is to rub along with all sorts and show kindness. I am conscious & try very hard not to preach at people or discuss faith unless they wish to. But that doesn’t mean I don’t hold my sincere beliefs. I think in our culture we are uncomfortable with others having an opinion on us/ our choices. I have “opinions” (which I don’t share) on other people’s choices when they do things the Bible condemns. But that doesn’t mean I judge those people. Every single day, I do things the Bible condemns (anger, jealousy, gossip, laziness, gluttony…the list goes on). So I am definitely not a better person. In fact, if it were based on living a good life, most of my non Christian friends would probably do better than me 🤣

hTh from other perspective

And church burned women alive if someone called them a whitch.
Not so peaceful and moral isn't it?

Throughout history many (most?) religions, and sects within religions have believed that they are the only group who are 'right' and everyone else is damned, wrong, to be pitied, to be avoided, to be converted, unworthy to live, to be burned at the stake (delete where appropriate).

This is no different from some of the major world political movements, which is probably why in the comparative religions component of my theology degree we also considered facism and communism (and atheism).

The irrational bit about some strands of evangelism for me is the sheer arrogance that they think their interpretation of Christianity is not just the single truth within the Christian church but also a single truth that trumps every other religion across the world.

The one teaching that almost all Evangelicals (and many other sects/religions) fail to heed is Matthew 7
Judge not, that ye be not judged.
For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

What about the good Samaritan?

I would definitely say my whole identity is tied up being a Christian. I don’t bring God into every conversation, but I view and interpret most things through a spiritual lens. It’s easier to be myself around other Christians. Having said that I know the air of superiority you’re talking about, but I’ve experienced it from people of other faiths as well as Christian, I guess it’s just people

If you were fortunate they'd throttle or stab you before they lit the pyre. Good old Christian compassion eh?

Not so sure that was the done thing with the anywhere up to 300,000 people the Catholic church murdered in the madness of their Auto da Fe though. What were these people if not victims of ritual sacrifice brought about by religious zealotry?

I lost a friend to evangelical Christianity. I believe in God too, but she just became extremist in her approach to life and her views. I can only describe it like she had lost her mind

I avoid my local town centre on Saturdays because the local evangelical church are normally out in force.

There’s a thug with an amplifier who shouts smugly that everyone who hasn’t given their soul to Jesus is going to hell (in a mainly Muslim / Hindu / Sikh area). He seems extraordinarily unpleasant and vicious. Smiling people, often with their children, stand around handing out leaflets. Occasionally the thug will stop & someone will sing a song about how much Jesus loves everyone.

I used to walk past with an eye roll but when I encountered them soon after my mum’s death I had to dive out of the way as quickly as possible because it was the only way I could stop myself from either screaming in the thug’s face or telling the next child who offered me a leaflet that their parents had made it all up. Now I just stay well away.

I used to attend an Evangelical church now and then with friends and there was an almost cult like vibe among the younger adults. I'm not saying it was a cult with a cult's agenda but there was a lot of groupthink, them and us mentality and trying to outdo each other in righteousness.

The older adults and elders weren't like that and weren't much different to other Christians. Maybe it's a phase that you go through when younger in that church but mostly grow out of.

This comment resonates with me.

Being in relationship with God is so absolutely fundamental to my life that yes, it is my identity and how I see the world and I make no apology for that.

While saying that, I don’t speak about Him all the time but am happy to discuss respectfully with anyone who wants to talk, usually if they bring up the subject first.

I’ve encountered arrogant, ‘superior’ people from all faiths and none during my life. I think it’s just how some people are.

I find labels quite difficult too. I much prefer to be simply known as a Christian rather than try to cope with any ‘add-ons’.

This was me at that age. Evangelical Christianity is awful. You are taught that people who aren’t Christians are sad and have no meaning to their lives. You can’t give any concessions to other people having wisdom, insights or meaningful lives. It’s an awful high control element of Christianity. I grew up in this and it took me a long time to realise what judgemental harmful bullshit it is.

Thank you for the explanation @anonhop , it's interesting to hear your thoughts. So, you sincerely believe that god will send the overwhelming majority of people past present and future to hell if they don't have the good fortune to become evangelical Christians, have I understood that correctly? Does it matter how well you practice your religion (you mention you slip up every day), or is attending the right church and holding the beliefs enough?

@ITurnedMyCollarToTheColdAndDampyes, I believe that, sadly, every single person (firmly including myself) deserves hell and and is going to hell unless they put their faith in Christ. this is because I think God is ultimate justice and goodness & he can’t allow or be associated with sin. Accepting Christ’s sacrifice allows Him to bear that punishment on your behalf so you don’t have to & your sins won’t be counted against you because Jesus had them counted against Him.

That doesn’t mean being an evangelical & it isn’t about which Church is attended at all. I believe lots of people in evangelical churches probably aren’t saved, and lots of people in other churches probably are etc but I would never ever judge another individual’s salvation because it’s only God who knows someone’s heart!!

thankfully, you are right that how well I practice my faith has absolutely no bearing on my salvation. Christ’s work on the cross is sufficient. I live this way because I am saved and I love God and want to follow Him out of love, not out of fear of hell or doing it to be saved if that makes sense.

I hope that helps & didn’t come off preachy. Trying to distil a theology of salvation and associated worldview into a small MN post isn’t easy lol!

Thanks for this.
I’m in agreement with much of what you say here, and just felt that I would like to state that, because now that you have “put your head above the parapet” you will find a lot of flak coming your way!
Ah well. It was ever thus. (Galatians 1:10)

@anonhop

Wow.

Ok, thank you for explaining I appreciate your patience and honesty. You say you wouldn't marry a non-evangelical, yet concede that some other and not all evangelicals would be saved - I assume in your mind the number of exceptions would be small and so marrying like for like is a practicality thing?

The fact that people believe there is an almighty god who actually creates so many "deficient" people i.e. "sinners" with the purpose sending them to hell as punishment for existing, yet he is supposed to be omnipotent and all loving. And Jesus, who forgave and loved ... Yet the whole "system" is supposedly set up to be anything but omnipotent let alone loving, with all the hell fire n' all. I don't know how to mentally square that circle! But maybe this thread isn't the place for deep theological musings.

I think it's obvious to see why the majority are happy to take their chances and live as good people as they see fit.

Again, thanks for the explanation.

@ITurnedMyCollarToTheColdAndDampthank you for your kindness & patience and I do completely see how hard it is to get your head around.

in terms of marrying a non-evangelical who is saved, I could do (it’s not prohibited) but on a practical level, my faith affects how I live my life down to the detail (how I dress, spend my money, the jobs I do, how I socialise) so it just would be setting myself up for tension.

I believe God creates all people in love. All people deserve hell, but God doesn’t want people to go to hell (which was created for the devil, not for humans). And He so loved the world that He gave Jesus to rescue people. Salvation is a free offer open to anyone. So I don’t think it’s unloving for God not to force people accept His offer. But it is a heavy thing so I do understand where you’re coming from.

Really appreciate your time & patience listening to this point of view & I completely get your concerns.

God just can't be that good at godding if he is trying his best out of love but is churning out people left right and centre who are so bad and undeserving they are only fit to join the devil in hell. He's messing up the production process, this is on him 😆 A child born in a distant non Christian country a thousand years ago whose parents had never heard of jesus and who died of a fever at a year old - straight to hell because they deserve it?

I do appreciate and enjoy learning about other people's beliefs and points of view. But coming back to the op a bit, it's not hard to see why this particular point of view comes across as superior and actually not very "Christian" in tone.

My own view is that it's perfectly possible to be a good person, and in fact it is all the more worthy to do it for its own sake rather than out of a selfish fear (of hell).

@ITurnedMyCollarToTheColdAndDampi won’t respond to the first part of your response.

for clarity, I believe infants & children that die go to heaven (story of David’s son in Bible). I believe it’s those that reject Christ that go to hell. It’s not a superiority thing. The offer is available for anyone.

Anonhop ........What about all the people through the ages and currently who have never heard about Jesus?

I don't undestand what the OP is saying at all.

"We are not worthy to gather up the crumbs from under your table".

@Hollyhock4I don’t rlly know is the honest answer. There are doctrines of natural revelation & predestination which are hard to explain in a post and without a biblical grounding even with my theology degree. I can do my best if you’d like!!

ultimately, I don’t fully understand but I do trust that God is loving & just & merciful. Therefore, I believe that however it works out, He will be those things. For example, many people in the Middle East who have never really been exposed to Christianity have been converting from visions etc. So I think God can do all sorts of things (I’ve never had a vision or anything supernatural like that!). Ultimately, though, I don’t think it would be unjust for anyone to go to hell because everyone deserves it if that makes sense.

long way of saying I don’t really know but that is where the faith comes in I suppose- I know God’s character and trust in that.

We had friends who were heavily involved in the evangelical Christian world and I had to distance myself from them for my sanity - it was the level of absolute belief that everything they did was superior to anything else. The wife was the worst. She would make passive aggressive comments the whole time. She came over once for lunch and brought complex craft sets to do with my girls, both of whom hate crafting and have additional needs which made it impossible for them to do the activities. And she batted away my explanations that it wouldn't work and she got more and more frustrated as it all disintegrated. She was furious and my girls were wary of her after that. She thought crafting was a basic feminine skill and should be mastered by all women. It was super creepy and made me feel like she didn't "see" any of us, that we were a kind of project.

I got talking to a woman at a festival a couple of summers ago.

She told me she'd been brought up in an evangelical family and had to pray 5 times a day. 🙄

She was physically beaten by both parents.

Made her escape at 17 to train as a nurse where she could get accommodation.

Also had a childhood friend who's mum had to do all the cooking and meal preparation on a Saturday because Sundays were for church and bible reading.

I ended up marrying (and divorcing) a Muslim who was into Buddhism.

I don't care what religion you are (or none) as long as it's about peace and love.
Live and let live I say.