Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

In limbo- how to overcome religious doubt?

45 replies

ChunkyChips16 · 08/02/2025 10:13

For the past three years I have been in what has felt like a religious limbo. I keep going back and forth practicing a religion and I have so much faith but also so much doubt. I feel all of these feelings everyday. It is such an emotional rollercoaster. I see other people who are religious and they seem so settled and at peace with the path they have chosen. I am so tired of going back and forth and feeling guilty for not practicing in the way I should be because in one moment I’m doubting and then next I have a lot of faith and feel guilty.

I think what is making me doubt is I worry it has all been made up and I’m following this religion like a fool. There are parts of the religion which I don’t fully agree with or struggle to believe in, but other parts have completely transformed my life and really resonate with me. I can’t seem to live my life without following some of the rules or having faith. If I try to stop practicing I keep coming back because my faith doesn’t go away and it brings so much comfort. I really believe in God but sometimes the structures/rituals don’t align with how I feel on the inside. I think I need to work on my relationship with God outside of religious structures but the religion I have faith in has a big emphasis on structures so that’s what I’m struggling with. I have found my faith in God with this religion so I don’t want to leave it.

What I’m asking is, has anyone felt similar?
How do you cope with the doubts and find peace practicing a religion?

I am hoping I can find peace and that I won’t be stuck in this limbo forever 😳

OP posts:
ChunkyChips16 · 08/02/2025 21:28

EggshellAttic · 08/02/2025 10:56

What would it look like if you did exactly what you wanted in religious terms, acting on your own beliefs and discarding those you don’t, even if they’re part of the religion you’re technically an adherent of?

I mean, assuming you’re a Christian of some kind, Jesus rocked up and poohpoohed some aspects of Judaism.

this doesn’t feel right for me because if I am just picking out the bits I like then it’s like I’m following my own desires rather than the truth. But I’m wondering if that’s what a lot of people do to stick with a religion? I have been trying to focus on the bits I like but the things I don’t like keep creeping up and making me doubt it all

OP posts:
ChunkyChips16 · 08/02/2025 21:31

butterdish93 · 08/02/2025 15:49

I believe in God and go to church because I like the community and the my beliefs have enough in common with everybody else their, that is makes sense for me to attend.
However I don't subscribe to it all. I don't believe the bible is god ordained but I still find it helpful. Communion doesn't resonate with me so I don't partake. I've got my own personal faith in God and Christianity is the closest fit. I think that's fine.

Like you, I think I’ve found my closest fit but I struggle with some parts of it

OP posts:
ChunkyChips16 · 08/02/2025 22:01

eyestosee · 08/02/2025 16:43

@ChunkyChips16

I have heard people say that doubt isn't the opposite of faith, it is the opposite of certainty.

Going on from this, it follows that in order to have faith there needs to be a level of uncertainty!

So doubts are normal when dealing with faith issues. It's like the first stage of faith. I think you move into actual faith when you acknowledge the uncertainty but decide to believe anyway. If you don't realise there is uncertainty there, that is not necessarily faith, it is a form of ignorance, though.

I think what is making me doubt is I worry it has all been made up and I’m following this religion like a fool.

What bits would make you a fool? Have you made sacrifices you didn't feel you needed to and which you feel have served no good purpose?

Just reading through all the replies now and wanted to say thank you everyone for your help 💐

in relation to the last bit of this comment- I have had to make a lot of sacrifices which I think have a good meaning behind them and have been beneficial for me but they’re quite difficult to sustain when I keep having doubts because they take a lot of effort (hard to say without outing my religion but think big lifestyle changes). Sometimes I think what if this religion isn’t real and I’m doing all these efforts for no reason. But my faith keeps coming back and I feel guilty if I stop doing these things. I just wanted to know if anyone experienced this and how they managed to get out the cycle of constant doubting to feeling secure in their decision

OP posts:
ChunkyChips16 · 08/02/2025 22:06

theduchessofspork · 08/02/2025 17:07

It sounds to me like you are looking for a sense of belonging somewhere, and have latched onto something that doesn’t really suit you in an effort to find it.

I think you’ll never find a community that works for you if you don’t keep looking for it, so personally I’d start to explore other things - you may not find a single perfect place it might be a combination, but don’t stay in a place that isn’t working for you.

Thank you for this, I feel there’s a lot of pressure to practice in a certain way and a lot of religious guilt but maybe I do need to keep exploring. I just can’t ignore the belief in God which this religion has given me

OP posts:
OnSecondThoughts · 08/02/2025 22:12

To your question, "has anyone felt similar?", my answer is Yes, lots of the time. (I'm Christian). There's a huge lot that I don't fully understand about this religion, and the thought "is this all just made up?" crosses my mind often. But I think that's ok, and to be expected. I think most people think that in order to believe something you need to really understand all the ins and outs of it first. However, we believe in the physical universe although there is loads that we don't yet know about it. If you consider the idea of a God, it is reasonable to suggest that there is only going to be so much that we are capable of knowing/understanding about Him and His ways.
The way I cope with doubts is something like this: I remember my life and what it was like in the years before I started to have faith (I was quite an angry, moody person, hardly ever feeling content) and when I ask myself what has changed because of accepting Christianity, it seems like I was at the bottom of a deep dark well, with no way of escape, and then God sort of threw a rope with an anchor on it down the hole, and now he is slowly pulling me up, little by little. Often it feels like I'm slipping back down, but the thing I need to keep doing is just hang on to that rope. I would imagine it is something like this for any religion, ie step by step, little by little.

eyestosee · 08/02/2025 22:13

@ChunkyChips16 is there a range of different ways of practicing your religion? Like the different denominations within the Christian church? Maybe you could explore that to see if something seems to sync more intuitively with you/your personality without losing the positive elements you have found with faith.

Allthesnowallthetime · 08/02/2025 22:22

I have struggled with this, and still do. Way I see it now is that there is a core of truth, a connection with God. That is the centre of things.

But around that, there is religion - all the man made stuff, rituals and bits that people have added on. That's the "wrapping paper" around the gift, not the gift itself.

It's sometimes hard to separate one from the other. Especially because some people seem to insist that you must keep the wrapping paper in order to enjoy the gift. Which I don't think is necessary.

ChunkyChips16 · 08/02/2025 22:29

OnSecondThoughts · 08/02/2025 22:12

To your question, "has anyone felt similar?", my answer is Yes, lots of the time. (I'm Christian). There's a huge lot that I don't fully understand about this religion, and the thought "is this all just made up?" crosses my mind often. But I think that's ok, and to be expected. I think most people think that in order to believe something you need to really understand all the ins and outs of it first. However, we believe in the physical universe although there is loads that we don't yet know about it. If you consider the idea of a God, it is reasonable to suggest that there is only going to be so much that we are capable of knowing/understanding about Him and His ways.
The way I cope with doubts is something like this: I remember my life and what it was like in the years before I started to have faith (I was quite an angry, moody person, hardly ever feeling content) and when I ask myself what has changed because of accepting Christianity, it seems like I was at the bottom of a deep dark well, with no way of escape, and then God sort of threw a rope with an anchor on it down the hole, and now he is slowly pulling me up, little by little. Often it feels like I'm slipping back down, but the thing I need to keep doing is just hang on to that rope. I would imagine it is something like this for any religion, ie step by step, little by little.

This really really resonates with me, thank you for sharing

OP posts:
ChunkyChips16 · 08/02/2025 22:32

eyestosee · 08/02/2025 22:13

@ChunkyChips16 is there a range of different ways of practicing your religion? Like the different denominations within the Christian church? Maybe you could explore that to see if something seems to sync more intuitively with you/your personality without losing the positive elements you have found with faith.

There is but pretty much all agree on the same core teachings in the text and some of these concepts I struggle with. But maybe I should find a group with a similar mindset to me

OP posts:
ChunkyChips16 · 08/02/2025 22:42

Allthesnowallthetime · 08/02/2025 22:22

I have struggled with this, and still do. Way I see it now is that there is a core of truth, a connection with God. That is the centre of things.

But around that, there is religion - all the man made stuff, rituals and bits that people have added on. That's the "wrapping paper" around the gift, not the gift itself.

It's sometimes hard to separate one from the other. Especially because some people seem to insist that you must keep the wrapping paper in order to enjoy the gift. Which I don't think is necessary.

Thank you for sharing, I’ve met people who are fine with all the ‘wrapping’ but sometimes I find it unhelpful and deterring

OP posts:
Allthesnowallthetime · 08/02/2025 22:43

@ChunkyChips16 the wrapping can be very annoying!

LeaningOnTheEverlastingArms · 09/02/2025 08:17

ChunkyChips16 · 08/02/2025 21:19

I’ve avoided saying as I would prefer advice to be more general about how people are confident in and committed to the religion they choose. I think revealing the religion might lead to a tangent

For me, as a Christian, my faith is in a Person, not in a system or practice or works-based behaviour that I perform.

This takes the pressure off me to do and allows me to be. The essence of Christianity is peace and rest, not worry and hard labour.

““Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28

My life following Jesus has been getting to know Him better, being taught by His Spirit, Who draws my attention to whatever He wants to address at any given time.

Because my life following Him is a personal relationship and not a performative series of works, merely following rules- I find it is dynamic and also peaceful. Like any relationship it isn’t static, which is one of the great joys and simultaneously one of the great challenges of Christian life.

Before he met Jesus, Saul of Tarsus was an extremely religious man, and very zealous in the pursuit of his faith, to the point of persecuting those whom he considered deserved it.

But after he met Jesus, his entire attitude to his religious performance changed, and he wrote that he considered everything that had gone before as “rubbish” compared to the greatness of knowing Christ. (See Philippians 3)

His life was so radically changed that he changed his name to Paul.

Hopefully something of this will help you, whether you are a Christian or not.

eyestosee · 09/02/2025 08:31

As a Christian, I think there is a balance to be had. Some ritual is meaningful and provides much comfort. It frames the day, week, year, marks life events and reinforces our connection with God and each other. It's like those nice little things you might routinely share with your spouse such as a kiss goodbye or a morning cuppa. They might not seem much on the surface but you miss them if they become absent. Ritual and routine can be part of intimacy too. 🙂

Safxxx · 09/02/2025 08:33

If your faith is stronger than your doubt then stick to it, a person can't change overnight it takes time, even the very religious people will let their desires take over at times, but we learn and progress. If you're new to this religion and it helps with your faith in God then stick to it, doubts will always creep up as you're still adapting to the changes. Go easy on yourself and take each day as it comes, you don't need to implement every aspect of this religion on your life, start with what your comfortable with and progress with the flow. Ask God to guide you 🙏 ( also I would like to add don't mix culture with religion, and don't judge religion by the people's perspectives, learn about what your practicing to understand it better to follow it, if people judge you for not following it properly according to them, then ignore that and keep striving to do your best, with time your faith will increase and the change will occur and the doubt will go)

Mischance · 09/02/2025 08:43

A lot of life can pass you by in these ponderings and even agonising. And life is short. Every religion has accretions added by generations of humans, and often these are about guilt born of the desire for power by hierarchies .... hence the agonising. That is what guilt does to you.
All religions have contradictions and aspects that are problematical ... hence the need for picking and choosing in the light of developments in knowledge. No religious adherent believes everything. It would be impossible, and religions develop and change over time, so what you are struggling to embrace now might be seen as unacceptable by that same religion in 100 years time.
Maybe look to the core of your religion, which sounds to be theistic, so presumably centres on a belief in a God. Focus on that rather than the human additions of rules and rituals.
And further, most religions have kindness at their core when you strip away the bellicose and dictatorial additions from successive fallible humans. So .... why not make that the centre of your life?
It is my belief that the unimaginable universality of a God makes them above the petty rules of any religion .... so looking beyond these is the way to go. Can it be possible that such a being/spirit who creates galaxies/nature/life might care one tiny jot about you following rules created by fallible humans? I don't think so. But they will surely care that you strive to be kind to everyone, because therein lies the solution to all the world's problems. You can simply be a tiny part of that solution if you focus on this.

Dilbertian · 09/02/2025 09:05

I've decided to prioritise living my life according to the values of my religion, over according to the rituals.

I do keep certain rituals because they connect me to my religion in a day-to-day manner. A sort of mindfulness about who and what I am.

Other rituals are important to me for family cohesion and community cohesion. For my sense of identity as an individual and as part of something far greater than me. To cultivate this sense of identity in my children and community as well.

I do not do these things because I believe God wants me to do them, nor out of a fear of punishment if I don't do them. My relationship with the immanent is both personal and communal.

But some religions emphasise belief over practice. Would this attitude fit with such a religion?

useres101848woyr · 16/02/2025 13:43

Listen to this short speech on faith and doubt from the movie Conclave (ralph fiennes as the cardinal)

It makes the point that doubt is an essential part of faith. It's quite inspiriational I think.

LeaningOnTheEverlastingArms · 16/02/2025 15:10

I don’t share the character’s view on Christ being uncertain on the cross.

What is often overlooked is that the phrase
“Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which is translated, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” is the opening line of Psalm 22, and would have immediately been recognised by anyone within earshot as a reference to that Psalm - which was itself a vivid and gruesome prophecy of the suffering Messiah.

I believe that our Lord, in His hideous anguish, uttered this saying in fulfilment of the prophecy.

As He stated after His resurrection from the dead -
These are the words which I spoke to you while I was still with you, that all things must be fulfilled which were written in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms concerning Me.”
Luke 24:44

If we look at the accounts of Mark and Luke of our Lord’s death we can see where this saying fits into the timeline.

Mark 15: 33-39 reads
” Now when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which is translated, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” Some of those who stood by, when they heard that, said, “Look, He is calling for Elijah!” Then someone ran and filled a sponge full of sour wine, put it on a reed, and offered it to Him to drink, saying, “Let Him alone; let us see if Elijah will come to take Him down.” And Jesus cried out with a loud voice, and breathed His last. Then the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. So when the centurion, who stood opposite Him, saw that He cried out like this and breathed His last, he said, “Truly this Man was the Son of God!”

Luke 23:44:47 reads
“Now it was about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour. Then the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was torn in two. And when Jesus had cried out with a loud voice, He said, “Father, ‘into Your hands I commit My spirit.’ ” Having said this, He breathed His last. So when the centurion saw what had happened, he glorified God, saying, “Certainly this was a righteous Man!””

From these accounts we can see that the Psalm 22 reference preceded the confident and certain statement “Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit”.

And when He “cried out with a loud voice” what was it that He said? Neither of these Gospels tells us- but it is there in John.

John 19:28-30 reads
After this, Jesus, knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, said, “I thirst! Now a vessel full of sour wine was sitting there; and they filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on hyssop, and put it to His mouth. So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!” And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit.

It is finished” is one word in Greek - τελέω: teleō and the meaning is “completed, finished, a debt discharged, paid in full” - this is not a statement of uncertainty or doubt but a shout of mission accomplished.

Here’s the Psalm He cited - as you can see it is incredibly accurate and detailed in the portrayal of the crucifixion of our Lord, and ends, not in uncertainty but in triumph and victory.

“To the Chief Musician. Set to “The Deer of the Dawn.” A Psalm of David.

My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are You so far from helping Me,
And from the words of My groaning? O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; and in the night season, and am not silent. But You are holy, enthroned in the praises of Israel.

Our fathers trusted in You; they trusted, and You delivered them.They cried to You, and were delivered; they trusted in You, and were not ashamed.

But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised by the people. All those who see Me ridicule Me; they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, “He trusted in the LORD, let Him rescue Him; let Him deliver Him, since He delights in Him!”

But You are He who took Me out of the womb; You made Me trust while on My mother’s breasts. I was cast upon You from birth. From My mother’s womb You have been My God. Be not far from Me, for trouble is near; for there is none to help.

Many bulls have surrounded Me; strong bulls of Bashan have encircled Me. They gape at Me with their mouths, like a raging and roaring lion.

I am poured out like water, and all My bones are out of joint; My heart is like wax;
It has melted within Me. My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and My tongue clings to My jaws; You have brought Me to the dust of death. For dogs have surrounded Me; the congregation of the wicked has enclosed Me. They pierced My hands and My feet; I can count all My bones. They look and stare at Me. They divide My garments among them, and for My clothing they cast lots.

But You, O LORD, do not be far from Me; O My Strength, hasten to help Me! Deliver Me from the sword, My precious life from the power of the dog. Save Me from the lion’s mouth and from the horns of the wild oxen!

You have answered Me. I will declare Your name to My brethren; in the midst of the assembly I will praise You.

You who fear the LORD, praise Him! For He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; nor has He hidden His face from Him; but when He cried to Him, He heard. My praise shall be of You in the great assembly; I will pay My vows before those who fear Him.

The poor shall eat and be satisfied; those who seek Him will praise the LORD. Let your heart live forever! All the ends of the world shall remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families of the nations shall worship before You.

For the kingdom is the LORD’s, and He rules over the nations. All the prosperous of the earth shall eat and worship; all those who go down to the dust shall bow before Him, even he who cannot keep himself alive. A posterity shall serve Him. It will be recounted of the Lord to the next generation, they will come and declare His righteousness to a people who will be born, that He has done this.”

LeaningOnTheEverlastingArms · 16/02/2025 15:22

useres101848woyr · 16/02/2025 13:43

Listen to this short speech on faith and doubt from the movie Conclave (ralph fiennes as the cardinal)

It makes the point that doubt is an essential part of faith. It's quite inspiriational I think.

On the subject of “certainty” scripture indicates that there are some things on which God intends us to have absolute certainty.

“And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God.”
1 John 5: 11-13

pointythings · 17/02/2025 16:34

It sounds as if your faith in your God is strong, but your faith in the organisation you are part of is not. So I would suggest you read widely, pray with an open heart and perhaps explore other groups within your faith to see if any of them align with what you feel. Faith is a journey (and I say this as an atheist).

New posts on this thread. Refresh page