Catholic Baptism

[Wishingplenty]

I thought I would post here because I am looking for genuine answers from a religious point of view.
My son is 11 months old and as yet he has not been baptised. The main reason being outside of my immediate parents, nobody seems keen to be Godparents or want to set aside their precious weekend to attend, everyone is far too busy going on holiday or attending other more "fun" events. I feel so sorry for my son, but I am wondering how common this is? And if this is the sign of the modern times we live in, that people are just not that bothered about Baptisms anymore.

Presumably if you were regular at Mass you’d have a group of similarly minded friends?

Are you just testing waters rather than organising it and sending out invites? As id respond differently to vague plans than concrete plans.

Speak to the priest, organise it and send out invites.

Ask someone from church.

It's possible to regularly attend mass and not actually have friends in the congregation!

I know people who didn't want to be a godparent for various reasons, but I've not known people not want to turn up to a Baptism. But then everyone I know likes a free buffet!

I think you need to just crack on with other the Baptism OP. It's about the sacrament, there doesn't have to be a massive celebration afterwards.

Immediate family apart from my parents are not keen on attending. I have changed the date 3 times because people all had better things to do. My parish is very traditional and mostly has a very old average group, very few people my own age. I have set a new date, but again people are complaining that date is not really suitable either. I won't change it again but it just mean there will be literally 5 people there. I get the feeling no one is really bothered or interested and an invite is mostly seen as a burden.

I groan when I get christening invites, it’s not how I want to spend my Sunday but I’m not a catholic or religious at all. I do find it a bit odd that you can’t get anyone wanting to be a godparent, presumably as a practising catholic you have like minded friends. It’s not holiday or party season. Is there a minimum number of godparents you need as a rule, or can you have none? As pp said it’s about the sacrament,

Many Roman Catholic Churches will do baptisms as part of their Sunday family mass service. It’s worth asking. We did this and it was a wonderful environment.

A lot of my religious friends are less so now. I suppose this once important event has fallen out of fashion with people.

DS was baptised 5 years ago; it was just us, both sets of grandparents, DH's sister and my brother. I didn't feel like it needed a big thing and I wouldn't have expected anyone else to come.

Yes this. Ask the priest about this option.

I would see if you can have it during the Sunday service and have your church family around you.
Or, ask about a thanksgiving/dedication service and let him make his own mind up about baptism when he's older.

No one i know is religious but they all love a Christening! It's a huge honour to be picked as a god parent even in these cynical times, I can't understand why your friends and family are not being more enthusiastic. I would go ahead, if its only 5 people, at least it's 5 people who want to be there.

Mostly younger members of the family wanting to go out with friends instead. One of my neices was going to be a Godmother, but that has not worked out, she won't even be there now. I am just feeling a little down about it really.

In our family we attend a christening if we are invited. Same with friend. Religious or not. I am surprised that people don't support family or close friends anymore.

Are you talking about a baptism or a party?

You can have proxies stand in for godparents.
Also, you only need one godparents, strictly speaking.

Speak to your priest.

If your friends and family are expecting a party and can't be bothered, would it make a difference if you were to ask your mum or dad to be a godparent/ godparents, and all they had to do was show up to the actual baptism, no gifts required, no party...

It's sad ask they appear not to care.

That's sad, but I think you should go ahead.

Pick a godparent from the five. Assure this person no financial obligation is expected.

Look upon it as an important religious ritual and less as a social event. Trying to get baptised as an adult is a pain

As a pp said, you can have proxy godparents. So if someone would be an excellent godparent but just can't make the day, you can get someone else to stand in for them.

As to the essence of your question, in the parish where I work baptisms vary widely as to the number of guests. Some people see it very much as an extended family event and will have 30+ people present, others are very small. We do have quite a number of baptisms which are just parents and godparents. Adult baptisms have the same variation. Neither is right or wrong, it's just down to individual culture and family size and location.

Traditionally, Catholic baptisms were held almost immediately after birth (within a week) and only people who were local and available would attend. It was very common for the mother not to attend because she was still recovering post partum. It was common to have a grandparent or older sibling as godparent. There was a period in the latter half of the twentieth century when they became big parties, but this hasn't historically been a thing. In your shoes, op, I'd pick a date and stick to it (a Sunday Mass would be nice, as pp have said, but not always offered especially if the family aren't regular parishioners), and organise something small for afterwards. You can really enjoy it with those who can be there, and never mind those who can't.

I dont know why you would want loads of people there at all. I am Irish and raised catholic but I am now atheist and cannot think of a thing less enticing than a christening. Its not a celebration as far as i am concerned but if you are doing it for religious reasons then surely just a handful of people is fine unless you are doing it for the party afterwards which is an entirely different matter.

If you want your baby baptised, just have the baptism. If you really wanted to make it a nice day, offer cake in the hall afterwards to the usual congregation: they'll love to coo over your baby.

Sorry but I don't know why you are making a fuss about this? Just do it. Order a cake and see who comes.

Or put on a big catered do and invite friends and family. They don't have to attend the service.

Where I am (Ireland) it's mostly only family you'd invite to a babtism...usually just the child's grandparents, any siblings of the parents and their children. There might be an extra aunt or two or a great granny but it's usually kept quite small. Typically family members are godparents...one from each side usually. The ceremony is often followed by lunch out or a small party/cake at your house...close friends might come to this bit too sometimes.

I know other places do things differently but it's primarily a family thing here.

I wouldn't be changing dates to accommodate people other than grandparents and godparents really. You'd be forever trying to suit everyone.

When DC was baptised, the people we asked to be godparents were honoured. When the godmother was asked, she jumped up from the table and nearly strangled me with her hug! The godfather had recently had a near fatal (hospitalised, not sure if he would make it) health issue and I think he may have cried when asked. He now really proud and shout about it from the rooftops.

If the people you have asked aren’t honoured or excited, I think you need to reconsider who you are asking. Are they perhaps not religious? Or godparents to many others and think ‘please, not another one,’? Or are they of an age when a Sunday morning in church is the last thing on their to do list?

You don’t need to have anyone other than the godparents there, really. And you can have proxies for them too. I’d attend a baptism if invited but I’m not sure I would actually plan to save the date for it.

I think you should organise the baptism with your church, ideally as part of the Sunday service and then let people know. The important people (family and good friends) will show up and if the godparents don’t want to, well, that tells you that they aren’t the right choice for godparents!

I am pleased to report my son has finally been baptised this weekend. There was a total of eight in attendance.

Thanks to all for all your advice!

Congratulations!

If you attend mass, have it part of the Sunday mass.