ethical dilema re church tax. Am really torn. Any (Christian?) words of wisdom here?

[ernest]

OK, due to move to Germany very soon. I am RC, dh athiest. I am SAHM, therefore don't earn, dh has reasonable salary. If I worked I would feel absolutely OK about me paying.

In Germany the Church tax is 8% of gross income. DH extremely pissed off about this. I see his point, as he thinks religion is all a load of total crap, is not just a non-believer, but he is quite ante, and this just makes it worse. We are in Switzerland atm, where there is church tax, but lower, and he is really pissed off at having 1000'2 deducted directly from his salary. It does casue added strain, that religion already places on our relationship.

I d agree with him it's unfair, after all, in UK, the husband and wife's money is separate, but here it isn't.

So, do I insist I and the children are honest about being declared RC, thus him getting charged loads of tax he really objects to paying, and causing problems between us,
or do I agree to being declared no religion thus avoiding the 1000's of tax that will cause real problems as he is really anti as it is and this will make him much much worse.

Was chatting about this at my house group this morning (I go to an International Baptist Church). Our pastors'wife opts out, on the basis that our church gets no money from the state and she would rather give to it and the general consensus seemed to be that it is not a big moral issue not to pay. It does seems to be only RC and Ev protestants who have to pay and if you do not you cannot use their services (marriage/christening/marriage etc). Can you just write Christian on the forms? Generally most people felt it should be between the individual and God.

If it was me I would pray about it and ask God to provide the solution (e.g. for it to be based on your income or being able to opt out etc).

But if it ends up being the same as it is in Switzerland I would probably lie, on the basis that I think it's important to God for you to live at peace with your husband and give him a good impression of God and the Church. (e.g 1 Corinthians 7v13-16) I agree it's really not a nice thing to have to do, but I don't think God wants your husbands money - especially as he doesn't want to give it.

Sorry - forgot to say I'm a Christian but not a Catholic in case that makes any difference.

I'm not a Catholic but when I lived in Germany I declared no religion (even though I was a student with zero income anyway!) as I thought it wrong for the state to be involved in the relationship between a person and their religion.

Well I'm in a church which expects its members to give at least 10% of their salaries as a "tithe". In your situation we would not expect a wife to tithe her husband's income if he was not a member of the church, unless he choose to do so willingly and gladly. Such a tithe or tax fits in with a different concept of money and stewardship than we would not expect a non-Christian to have; ultimately we tithe because we view that our finances are a gift from God and to be used for His Kingdom. The practice of tithing reminds us that all of our expenditure is in His sight. And the Bible states that God delights in a cheerful giver.

It may be worth discussing the situation with one of the leaders in your current church as it would appear that the churches in Germany operate under a similar system. They may be able to give you an insight into what is the norm for your situation which is unlikley to be unique.

Since I'm an atheist the only point I want to make is that I know how much I'd resent it and yes it would cause bad feeling.

Even though I'm not a believer I have no problem with people contributing towards costs of anything they make use of, but that sounds like a scam by the government.

hmm, couldn't get through to German priest, so phoned Swiss priest who very much sat on the fence, he did say that the harmony in the home was very important, but wouldn't say anything further at all on the topic, so ?

If I put myself in his position and he was a sahd and me the sole breadwinner, and he was something I didn't believ in, or was actively against, les say a satanist, I'd be pretty outraged to have to contribute forcibly to that organisation.

But, for me to deny being a Catholic, and I do go every week with the boys to church, is really a hard thing to do.

so in a nutshell, no further forward..

I don't mean to be cheeky but if your dh is the sole earner in your family, why is he working in a country that levies a Church tax in this way?

I don't know the answer to your dilemma and can certainly see why your husband would object but it seems that it is the German (and Swiss) system that is the problem, not your faith.

If your faith means as much to you as it seems to, I can only imagine it would be very troubling to feel forced to deny it.