First holy communion in a mixed marriage

[locomum83]

So I'm in a mixed marriage. I'm catholic and my husband is Church of England. We have two daughters, eldest is 8 and attends an integrated primary school which offers sacramental preparation.
My husband doesn't agree with first holy communion, says 8 is too young, and the child is brainwashed etc. so therefore won't let her do it. I attended catholic primary school and made all my sacraments and don't obviously feel the same way.
My daughters best friend at school is making her first communion tomorrow, same day really my daughter should of been doing hers, and as a very spiritual girl, loves to pray and attend church etc, feels a bit bewildered and left out as to why daddy won't let her.
I take them to mass occasionally and other times we all attend Church of England services together with their dad.
It upsets me that she won't have this experience and if she chooses Catholicism as an adult she won't have been through the whole process. I'm not sure what the answer is. Has anyone been through similar?

I would be very surprised if a child who wasn't baptised Catholic could be given FHC. They have to do their first confession first (I think it's called first reconciliation now).

If your DH is antiCatholic, I'm sorry , op but you should have discussed this at marriage.

Also product of a mixed marriage- Catholic mum, Jewish Dad. Mum was the religious one so we were all brought up Catholic. I'm an atheist now but, unless I have missed something, the sacramental order of things is the same: baptism, first confession, first communion, confirmation, marriage/holy orders/neither, last rites.

My c of e mate I’m sure didn’t do confession, and confirmation was before communion.

long time ago now though so I may have misremembered.

We're getting very ecumenical here. Perhaps I should just say 'yes'.

As far as both churches are concerned, baptism in the name of the Father/Son/Holy Ghost is equivalent, so anybody baptised in the Trinitarian Tradition (see the Churches Together in England website if you want to completely fry your brain) is eligible to go onto the next sacrament/rite. If that means doing First Reconciliation and Communion, cool, that person is now Catholic without any need to be re-baptised. If it is to go on to confirmation in the C of E, great, they're in the Anglican church, if it's FHC and then RC confirmation, great, they're RC.

The CofE also provides for confession, it's just not something that is generally required of their members in the same way it is for Catholics.

However, whilst the C of E does open communion, where anybody can partake if baptised (and some will turn a blind eye to not being baptised), the RC church practises Closed Communion, where only Catholics can, tothers are able to receive a blessing from the Priest.

It’s not last rites. It is the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. Last rites is given on the death bed. The anointing of the sick is the 7th sacrament in your list.

I am imagining a man saying 'no, never' in a large booming voice. Or someone unaware that the second Vatican Council has happened and that the Pope is not Italian.

In a world where the term mixed marriage is still a thing, it usually is used to talk about very different beliefs, like Muslim and Christian or zoroastarian or smt. I mean no offense but these are denominations of the same basic foundational beliefset, why such big problems? I think you should talk to dh, your dc is entitled to learn about both beliefs, it's your right to expose your dc to your beliefs as much as his. She'll choose for herself when she's older. If he's so adamant, does he believe you're brainwashed? If so, why did he marry you if he thinks your beliefs were so incompatible? Ask him I'd say. Also, 8 years is perfectly normal for fhc. And I don't think a non baptised Catholic can take hc.

@PaigeMatthews the anointing of the sick, is exactly the same as the anointing you get on your deathbed.

I mean no offense but these are denominations of the same basic foundational beliefset, why such big problems? I think you should talk to dh, your dc is entitled to learn about both beliefs, it's your right to expose your dc to your beliefs as much as his

perhaps you should make yourself aware of the Protestant vs catholic issues in Ireland.

then you might understand “why such big problems”.

my mum and dad were Irish Protestant/catholic married back in the 60’s. It was a MASSIVE problem. They moved to England in the end in order to get married.

well, it’s not and what an odd thing to want to argue about.

perhaps you should make yourself aware of the Protestant vs catholic issues in Ireland. then you might understand “why such big problems”.
my mum and dad were Irish Protestant/catholic married back in the 60’s. It was a MASSIVE problem. They moved to England in the end in order to get married.

You sound a bit upset with me asking why this is such a big problem. I did say no offence, and obviously this was more of a rhetorical question meaning how silly it is for people to be still getting their pants twisted about protestant vs catholic. They are both Christian religions fgs. Just thinking about the religion itself, not about the Irish historical context that comes with it, the differences are minor, in relevance to say differences between Islam and Christianity. btw I am acquainted, through conversations with my grandparents! We should move forward....Hope that is what you think too.

We should move forward. Most people where I am in the West of Scotland agree on this. But...when it comes down to everyday life, the line is still in the sand for most people (not all) when it comes down to claiming your identity. Young families still choose to perpetuate the same generational choices regarding school, church rituals(attending for sacraments) and yes football teams. The state facilitates it through seperate schooling where even small villages have a catholic and a 'non demoninational' school, and very little is done to challenge it at any meaningful level.
It pervades all areas of life albeit more quietly than before. It's still there.

I was baptised CoE. I became a catholic in my teens. The week of my confirmation, normally about Easter, after 1 year of classes and 4 of attending the Mass every week. I had a baptismal ceremony just the priest and family, then confession then the confirmation on the Easter Sunday.

The Church of England will also admit children into taking communion from a similar age now. This is a recent thing, when our generation was growing up the CofE just did baptisms whenever and confirmation at around age 12 and not everyone is entirely comfortable with the change so each church can decide whether or not to offer it. maybe would your DH be happy for your DD to attend classes at a CofE church and have a ceremony to be admitted into Communion there? And would you be happy enough with that as a compromise?