Fuming - absolutely ^fuming^!

[MrsMattie]

We had our son baptised (RC) today. DH is RC, I am not, but I'm supportive - attend Mass every week, have attended bible study in order to understand the faith better, am active in the church community (toddler group, voluntary work etc).
I have always thought the priest at our local church was an arrogant, unfriendly man, but I have tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and be friendly and polite to him.
However, today was the straw that broke the camel's back. He rushed through the baptismal service as if he was doing it by numbers. He was rude to my mother (it was really embarrassing - she was doing a reading and he spoke to her rudely, as if she were a little girl, and corrected her in front of everyone). He was impatient and narky at certain points in the ceremony. It was truly cringe-worthy.
But by far the worst thing - by far - was that he chose to devote half his sermon to ranting about 'people' who baptise their children in order to get them into Catholic schools. I was gobsmacked that he would mention such a thing in a religious service, in front of a small group of family and friends, on such a special day as this. To be honest, I am fuming. Everyone commented afterwards and said how awful he was and how dreadful his sermon was. I was mortified. I felt like crying, and to be perfectly frank, I feel like abandoning that church and going to another one further away. I just cannot face him again without telling him in no uncertain terms what I think of him.

AIBU? What should we do? (My husband is livid,too. Not least because before we had even left the altar the priest accosted my husband who was still carrying our son, and asked for the 'financial donation'. It was done in such a tacky way....honestly, I feel angry just thinking about it...raaaah!)

Have just read your first post, but TBO I would complain, bitterly.

Is he a convert? H, who is anti-Catholic to the nth degree. We have a priest who's a convert at our local (so local, it's next door) and he's so up his own bottom that I've taken to taking the children to an earlier Mass a bus ride away.

You shouldn't have to put up with that, and I'm on your behalf.

Very angry after reading this, what an old codger!
I hope you get somewhere, he is making people unhappy and you might be able to stop it happening to others.

Hi all. Thanks for all your responses. I had a very enlightening chat this morning with two mums at the local toddler group who had similar problems with this priest at their child's baptism. One woman said he was so insulting she felt like crying, and couldn't get out of the church quick enough. Apparently he stopped the baptism half way through and said 'I will not continue until everyone is in their seats' because a 2 yr old child wouldn't sit down. He actually threatened not to continue with the ceremony. My gosh. Apparently he also asked for the 'donation' as soon as he stopped speaking and then left without any eye contact or a word said to anyone there. Very odd man.

One of the women has said she will also write a letter to the Bishop, as she has long since felt she should have complained at the time.

p.s. don't think he is a convert, no...

Get this, we had a Baptism forgotten. Yep, forgotten. It was my DS1's (he's 9 now) it was when he was a baby. We turned up at the church, family, friends everyone, and the church was locked up and something definitely wasn't right. After a short while, I went and knocked on the door of the adjoining Priest's house (I can never remember the correct term for it) the Priest opened the door after quite a long time, I was stood on the step for ages, and when he finally answered the door he looked clearly as though he had just been woken up. Anyway, I told him why I was there - for my Son's Baptism - along with all our family and friends now assembled in the car park wondering what the hell was going on. And I finally saw the 'light dawning' on his face, followed by an awful expression as he was realising that he'd completely forgotten that he was supposed to doing a Baptism. He unlocked the church, he was all flustered and ruffled, didn't have anything prepared, and it was the most awful service - if it could even be called that. He stood reading from a booklet, it was terrible.

I was raised as a Catholic, my DH is Catholic and our children are. My two DS's attend a Catholic school and DD did too but she's gone to the Grammar school now which isn't a church school. Our present Parish Priest is a nice man, but most of the parents at our Catholic primary don't like him as he is very 'old school' and does tend to preach about 'the church being used like a supermarket and people only turning up to get what they want' ie. Baptisms, Holy Communion ceremonies for their DC which will all ensure entry to the Catholic schools. I actually agree with him though, as I know parents from the school who you never see in church, and suddenly their eldest is approaching secondary school age, or their little one is starting school, and it's the Catholic schools they want as the others in our area are nowhere near as good.

My own opinion is that people shouldn't do that, but that said, I don't think we should have to go to some of the lengths that we do. If our children have been accepted into the church through Baptism then they should be accepted into the schools without having to be at church every week or fortnight. At the end of the day, people will do what they have to to get their children into decent schools and will play the Religion card if they have one. I think my family has the balance right, we're not devout by any means but we do go to church quite genuinely, not just to ensure school entry. I think if our DC are at Catholic schools then we as parents should be taking them to church anyway so that they will understand as much as they can the teachings and ethos in school as the two go hand in hand.

Given that experience with my Son's Baptism, I do sympathise with you MrsMattie.

Thanks for sharing your experiences@MummyPenguin. That must have been awful! Comical in retrospect - but not at the time, eh?

I think my main problem with the Priest - other than his generally rude, unwelcoming attitude - was that he chose my son's baptism to make his point about people using the Catholic church to get their children into good schools. Make the point at Sunday mass, by all means. But as part of a baptismal service? Very poor taste in my opinion. It's like using a marriage ceremony to preach about divorce rates.

i havent read all the thread but we were strict catholics growing up. My mum was on her own with three kids, no money. The church was supportive (we had access to their caravan in west wales, provided some home help for mum etc)

mum then went onto meet a marry again (total alcoholic arsehole but that's another story)and kept her faith, attending church regularly.

Anyway, thanksfully after many years she divorced this revolting man, and THEN the church declared that she could no longer be a practicing catholic (couldnt take communion etc)!

She was heartbroken.

I dont really know what the point to my story is now, except that I wish i had tackled them on this at the time and not just accepted the way she was treated.

I would calmly confront him and let him mull over what you say. I think he owes you an apology.

ah, just read back, and it seems as though others have issues with this man too. Write to the bishop and ncourange the others to do the same.

The last thing the catholic church needs at the moment is a priest who is going to lose them their congregation!

That's happened with my friend, guggie. She's a young Mum whose Son is at our Catholic primary, and church life and school life are very much intertwined. My friend is divorced. She divorced her DH because he had an affair. Our Parish Priest keeps ona nd on at her about getting her marriage annulled. He means in the eyes of the church, but she's legally divorced, what more is she supposed to do? I'm not sure what the practices are in such circumstances. He wouldn't Christen her DD for a long time, but did eventually. At school masses she's not 'allowed' to go to Communion even though she's a practicisng Catholic.

The problem with the Catholic faith is that very often people, and in many circumstances children, get penalised. It's all wrong.

I know it's upset you a lot.We had about 10 babies being baptised at our dd's christening. Horrible impersonal service, with other families SWEARING in the church!! i got the impression it was a bit like a korean mass wedding! Poor you. only trying to do right thing, i guess there is occasionally unprofessional members of clergy who just are not very good like in all professions... not that i am saying he was a bad person though, just misguided... can an other blessing be done at another time to make you feel more positive? i dont know if this could be arranged, perhaps with a more sensitive priest? on a happy note the lovely priest who recently did my grans funeral bent down and blessed all the little children in the congregation with the sign of the cross. I thought that was lovely, so the good ones are definate3ly there X