Help settle religious/ sex outside marriage debate with colleague ?

[stripyspider]

I have a colleague who , whenever LGBT issues are mentioned, will tell anyone who can listen how he is against "LGBT everything," because of his religious beliefs/ the bible, ( he says he is Christian). The bible says it is wrong, is his standard answer.

The same colleague will boast to anyone who will listen about his many one-night stands/ two timing partners etc, ( "haha I've had to cheat on every relationship I've ever been in.")

I eventually asked him, earlier today, ( subject came up in the office yet again), why he was so bothered about the bible prohibiting gay sex, when he was clearly more than happy to have sex outside of marriage with multiple women ?

He looked at me like I was very stupid, and was like "have you ever read the bible ?" The bible explicitly forbids gay sex, but it never actually says you have to be married to have sex/ bans one night stands !"

And the thing is, he's right. Whilst I have, ( from school), a basic understanding of some bible stories e.g. the good Samaritan, Noah's Ark, tower of babble etc, I've realised I can't really definitively answer this, ( annoying and smug), man on this point.

Does the bible explicitly ban sex outside of marriage in the same way it explicitly prohibits gay sex ?

Empty vessels make the most noise. In my experience, the people most likely to boast about their sexual conquests are the least likely to be getting laid.

The bible explicitly forbids gay sex, but it never actually says you have to be married to have sex/ bans one night stands !"

10 Commandments?
Paul's Epistles?

He's an hypocritical idiot, whatever.

I mean...sex before marriage (but whilst betrothed) was happened back then. The scandal with Mary was not that she was pregnant but that Joseph wasn't the father (hence him wondering if he should break his engagement with her). When you're trying to build a nation, it's useful to know that your wife to be is fertile and can produce more citizens, and sexual acts before marriage weren't exactly illegal (and were expected to lead to marriage).

So technically he's not wrong - though we of course view relationships a lot differently now - but if he's a Christian, or at least trying to use the bible as some sort of moral code book, it might be worth asking him whether he'd consider what he's doing to be morally ok. If he's trying to be a Christian, a bit of self control might be in order, and a review of how he's treating people, in the light of Christ's teachings.

If he is a Christian, point out that Christ himself never said anything against gay sex. He never mentioned it, but he did ask that people set aside the old laws and follow his way, so... him choosing to be so homophobic is nothing to do with Christ.

If he is following Leviticus, as PP have said, no prawns, no cheeseburgers and certainly no cotton and wool worn at the same time.

IME the Christians who froth about gay sex are closeted. They are obsessed for a reason.

Btw, Hebrews 13.4 says both adultery and sexual immorality are sins so his gleeful infidelity is a mortal sin if he follows the OT which he does if he is against gay sex.

But I would be inclined to ignore him. When he speaks about his exploits let the silence hang in the air and then change the subject.

It happened in many historical Christian societies for the same reasons, even English ones. There’s the diary of Martha Ballard a midwife in the American colonies who records quite plainly that young men and women were encouraged to see each other, sleep overs happened in parents homes and sex was understood to happen, though not openly discussed. It was really only if/when the woman got pregnant that marriage was then understood to be required. And a baby was only a “bastard” if the parents weren’t married by the birth. So that gave them months to figure out she is pregnant and arrange a wedding. Fertility was sign that God blessed the union and was in favour of them marrying. For a society of colonists on the fringes of wilderness they needed many children working a homestead farm to survive long term.

Is there not a "scale," of sin in God's eyes, where murdering for financial gain would be worse than shoplifting from a chain store for example ?
^^
@stripyspider I think there is something of a sin scale, yes. This from Christianity.com explains it well:

'Sin is any thought or action that falls short of God’s will. God is perfect, and anything we do that falls short of His perfection is sin. For instance, sin was a term used in archery meaning “to miss the mark.” The Christian definition of sin is to purposely disobey the rules of God.

...In one sense, all sin is equal because all sin cuts us off from a relationship with God. James explains in James 2:10, “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.”

What he means is that individual sins cannot be isolated. Jesus taught this in Matthew 5:21-28 when he equated committing adultery by simply looking at a woman with lust in one’s heart and committing murder with a hate-ridden heart.
Although he said that lust and adultery are sins, that doesn’t mean they are equal to committing murder or breaking the covenant of marriage. Regardless of our type of sin, the reality is this: It has disrupted God’s design for this world.
“Yes!” you say, “But don’t certain sins have greater punishments attached to them?” So, what makes some sins more serious? Here are four important factors amongst others.

1. The more we intend to sin, the more serious the offense. The Old Testament Law had lesser punishments for those who sinned unintentionally and greater sins for those who sinned “defiantly” (Numbers 15:27-31).

1. The more serious the sin is, the greater the ripple effect will be in our lives. Remember the Bible verse, you reap what you sow? For example, it is much worse to murder a person than to hate a person. It is much worse to commit adultery than it is to fantasize about it. It is much worse to act on your desires than it is to dwell on them.

James even said of preachers and teachers of the Word: “Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly” (James 3:1). This is because preachers and leaders have more power to lead astray those who have been entrusted into their community and care.

1. This leads us to our last point. Jesus did say, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded,” (Luke 12:47-48). The more we know about God the more we are responsible to God.

1. If all sins are equal, Jesus wouldn’t need to be our high priest who pleads for us on our behalf. Hebrews has several passages depicting Jesus as the High Priest (Hebrews 2:17; 3:1; 4:14-5:10; 6:20; 7:11-8:2; 10:12). We need him as our mediator, and because of what he has done for us, we can freely approach God.

...Not all sins are equal, and we would do well to remember this. But we should not allow this to go to our heads and assume that our little white lies aren’t as bad as lust, cheating, or murder.

We need to remember that yes, it is still sin and each sin carries its weight in consequences because all sin invades, harms, destroys, and disrupts the good design that God so desperately wants for our world.'

This is wrong, nowhere in the Bible does it recommended stoning anyone for wearing two types of fabrics.

We need to remember that yes, it is still sin and each sin carries its weight in consequences because all sin invades, harms, destroys, and disrupts the good design that God so desperately wants for our world.'

The difference is that adultery, which this guy is trying to justify, is inherently harmful. Homosexuality which he rail's against is not.

Honestly if you're going to reply with anything you should just state that you don't need to know the bible as you're not the one calling yourself a Christian, and that he needs to back up his statements with bible references to prove his agreements.

Does he basically go on unprompted homoohobic rants at everyone? Wouldn't HR have an issue with that? Are you in a customer facing job?