Helping a small child adjust their hijab

[Holidayz]

I work in a reception class and one of our new children has come to school wearing a hijab. It's a child friendly hijab that covered her head and shoulders, so it doesn't need to be wrapped. She is not yet 5 and while playing it sometimes slips back to show the top of her head/hair.

I've helped her adjust it this week but was reluctant to tuck in any of the fly away hairs from the side of her face in case that was the wrong thing to do.

I don't wish to come across as ignorant, but can anyone help me and let me know what is and isn't acceptable in this situation so I don't make any mistakes.

I'm a woman if that makes a difference.

@Holidayz

On the first day mum asked us to make sure her hair was covered. I did ask her if I could fix her hijab and carefully moved it forwards towards her forehead, in doing so some of the hair ended up sticking out from the sides.

I'm not getting into whether it's appropriate for a child of that age to wear a head covering, just trying to work out what is respectful as it's not something I've had to deal with before.

Then actually this is a discussion to have with your headteacher.

This wasn't a parent asking you to help tie shoelaces or replace a complicated scarf because the child can't yet, it is a parent making an inappropriate request for you to police her child's body throughout the day and monitor religious observance.

The girl is capable of pulling her hijab forwards without assistance if she so wishes, what the parent has requested is that you monitor whether she is 'sufficiently' covered and intervene if not. That crosses a boundary for school staff - you can't be there making judgements about the religious compliance of a child's stray hairs. It is not your place to monitor or decide.

Since you asked about being respectful of the child that distinction is important.

I wore a scarf from age 4, for her comfort I would suggest tucking her hair in. Wouldn't you find it uncomfortable to have whisps of hair on your face?

I agree it's very young for a hijab... 10 or so seems to be more standard.
I'd just leave it

I've seen them on 5-6 year olds in our city centre. It's a shame for them, they don't need that at school and before anybody says they are copying their mum, I used to totter around in my mum's high heels, but she wouldn't have let me leave the house in them

I said she could be copying her mum based on a lifetime of experience with these things.

There is a very big difference between copying her mum and other women in her family and you tottering about in your mums heels. It’s like comparing apples and pears.

I would expect you treated her head like every other child's head !
Little girls come out of nursery with their hair looking like they were dragged through a hedge so her parents will after expect she's going to have strands of hair showing after a play session 🤷‍♀️

• Then actually this is a discussion to have with your headteacher.

This wasn't a parent asking you to help tie shoelaces or replace a complicated scarf because the child can't yet, it is a parent making an inappropriate request for you to police her child's body throughout the day and monitor religious observance.

The girl is capable of pulling her hijab forwards without assistance if she so wishes, what the parent has requested is that you monitor whether she is 'sufficiently' covered and intervene if not. That crosses a boundary for school staff - you can't be there making judgements about the religious compliance of a child's stray hairs. It is not your place to monitor or decide.

Since you asked about being respectful of the child that distinction is important.*

This is a very good answer.

I think it’s extremely inappropriate and concerning that a mum feels entitled to ask a teacher to police what is essentially a ‘modesty’ garment
In fact it’s concerning that they would feel it’s ok to put a modesty item on a child that young

the whole concept of covering the hair/body for me is offensive, and when i see it on children I feel aghast

I would not collude with this whole thing.
Unless the garment is uncomfortable I certainly wouldn't be "tucking in" stray hairs.
Much like a child with a shirt tail hanging out or one sock up and one sock down, one shirt collar out and one in- it's not a teachers' place to tweak garments.
Somuddled
I wore a scarf from age 4, for her comfort I would suggest tucking her hair in. Wouldn't you find it uncomfortable to have whisps of hair on your face? Most kids don't mind, I am an adult with long hair and on a windy day my hair blows everywhere. Having my face brushed by my soft hair is not unpleasant.

I would not collude with such a religious practice.

Stop calling this religious practice it's misogynistic child abuse and no one should collude with it. A child old enough to decide is one old enough to adjust her own hijab.

No 4 year old kid should wear a hijab.

@Rainallnight

I’m not a teacher but I definitely wouldn’t collude in a small child feeling she needs to cover her hair, so I wouldn’t be tucking anything in.

This.

Whinginadeville

It is a religious practice though.
Abrahamic religions are misogynistic.

Do you normally adjust plaits and ponytails if hair comes out of them? Maybe the girl needs something like a stretchy hair band to keep her hair in place but you have got to think whether you would be bothering giving help with hair beyond giving advice over long hair needed to be tied back.

If you go too far down this route religious dress becomes an additional educational need which would be inappropriate.

It's not your job to make sure a child follows barbaric modesty rules.

Unless you’re willing and able to make sure all the girls in the class have tidy hair, I wouldn’t get involved. Are you sure this is even within your remit? Staff aren’t allowed to help reception children apply sun cream at our school- I can’t imagine them doing this either.

… Actually, sod that, I mean all the CHILDREN. Not all the girls 🤦🏻‍♀️

It's a child friendly hijab

An oxymoron if ever there was one.

I really don't think it's your responsibility.
If mum is worried about it slipping off then she needs to secure it with clips or something.
You shouldn't be expected to adjust anything a child is wearing. Child should be sent to school suitably dressed, if standards slip by the end of the day then surely that's totally normal for any child in reception?
My daughter has started reception this week and comes home with her hair absolutely all over the place. I wouldn't expect teachers to spend their day worrying about redoing her hair?

I think it's really unfair to put the pressure on the child the keep it neat also. She will be worrying more about the hijab than enjoying school.