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Original poster

CofW Communion, Going for blessing

37 replies

WalkingCorpseScum · 28/10/2007 20:30

I guess I worry over the smallest things!

So when everyone else goes up for Communion I can get a blessing... but I don't know what to do up there!

Do you close your eyes? Is there anything specific you're supposed to be thinking? How long does one stay there? Some people bow or cross themselves...

I tried to see today but still didn't go up even though the vicar specifically mentioned that people who couldn't take communion should go up for a blessing.

Also, there is Bible study at someone's house, with the time and address on the back of the service booklet. The couple weren't there today to chat to, but it was mentioned new people were welcome. But it feels odd to just turn up at someone's house...

OP posts:
Original poster
WalkingCorpseScum · 28/10/2007 20:30

CofE!!!!!!! Bleh

OP posts:
Original poster
WalkingCorpseScum · 28/10/2007 20:31

Sorry for anyone who looked at this hoping to work out the riddle of what the cofw church could be!!

OP posts:
deegward · 28/10/2007 20:33

When I was confirmed, my vicar told us to stay until the wine/body/celebrant were down by two people.

ScaryScienceT · 28/10/2007 20:37

If you want to have a blessing, you can either put your arms across your chest, or just keep your hands by your side.

I take communion, but usually look the person in the eye that is giving it to me. I think that's appropriate if you are having a blessing too. The time you stay is probably less than half a minute - just follow those around you for guidance.

As for bible study, was there a phone number? If not, can you call the church office in the morning to get one. I'm sure it's reasonably fine to just turn up, although I too wouldn't feel comfortable doing this.

God bless you.

DutchOma · 28/10/2007 20:45

When you go up for communion you kneel and cup your left hand under your right hand, so that the priest can put the wafer in it.
When you do not want to receive bread and wine you just kneel and keep your hands in front of you, so the priest knows you are there just for a blessing.
I don't usually close my eyes, but you can do. I'm not quite sure how long you stay, since when you receive bread and wine you stay until you've received both.
Maybe you only go up after most people have received, as deegward says, then you can just go as soon as you have received the blessing.
Mind you, if you feel more comfortable watching for a few weeks I would do that.

Did the Bible study housegroup give a telephone number? Then you could give them a ring. If not, I'm sure they would be delighted to have you along

DutchOma · 28/10/2007 20:46

xpost

MrsBadger · 28/10/2007 21:20

(I assumed Church of Wales...)

MaryBS · 29/10/2007 06:24

On the occasions I've been up for a blessing, I've just stood there or knelt there (depending on what everyone else is doing) and bowed my head.

The trouble with eye contact is that it can confuse the person (priest or lay minister) who is giving out communion - who may assume you wish to receive communion (been there/done that). You could make eye contact if you want to, after the blessing. Sometimes the vicar may say hold your service book to indicate that you just want a blessing. Anyone gripping a book clearly isn't going to receive communion in the hand!

You go up at the same time as everyone else, and stay just for the blessing, or pause a little. There's no hard and fast rules - its what you are comfortable with. You can close your eyes or not as you feel comfortable with. My son goes up for a blessing, and if I don't grab him afterwards, he charges off down the aisle mowing down anyone in his way!

Those who stay there a little longer (possibly crossing themselves) are probably saying a little prayer. The bow is a sign of respect to God, but if you don't do it, it doesn't mean you don't respect him. Its part of some people's tradition, but not everyone's.

The idea is you feel part of it, even if you aren't receiving communion. No-one wants to make you feel uncomfortable.

As for just "turning up". I wish I had a few more people "just turn up" for my study group! Its generally "open house" on these occasions. If it would make you feel happier, contact them, or call the vicar, but they really won't mind you just turning up.

Original poster
WalkingCorpseScum · 29/10/2007 06:50

Thank you everyone. I feel reassured and confident now!

I have issues with using the phone so I will probably turn up as it's been mentioned a few times and the address was freely available and if you say it's okay, MaryBS

OP posts:
MaryBS · 29/10/2007 07:26

Hey, trust me, I'm a minister

Let us know how you get on. If you've got a bible, you might like to take it with you, otherwise I'm sure people will share with you.

serin · 30/10/2007 22:17

Do you have to be confirmed to receive communion?

I didn't know that CofE had criteria regarding who could or could not receive.

MaryBS · 31/10/2007 07:34

From the C of E website:

"According to the Canons (laws) of the Church of England those who receive Holy Communion in the Church of England should either have been confirmed in the Church of England or should be ready and desire to be confirmed. However, there is an exception to this requirement in the case of children who are admitted to Communion prior to confirmation in the context of an agreed diocesan and parochial policy that this should be the case.

Those who are baptised communicant members in good standing of other churches are also welcome to receive Holy Communion in the Church of England."

My daughter is 8, has not been confirmed, and receives communion (following a period of instruction). There are a number of children in our church that do. Interestingly enough, if we go to a church that does not allow their own children to receive, they cannot refuse her communion.

MaryBS · 31/10/2007 07:36

Sorry, serin, that sounded a bit blunt. If its any comfort, I'm still learning about what you can/can't do in the C of E

ScaryScienceT · 31/10/2007 07:39

It's not typical for children to receive HC. Some dioceses allow it, but it's an exception to the 'rule'. You are right that if children have already received elsewhere, they cannot be refused in a place that doesn't normally allow children to receive.

MaryBS · 31/10/2007 07:55

It's becoming fairly popular round here to allow children to receive, maybe its our diocese (Ely). Children are also allowed to receive in Ely Cathedral and a number of other churches in my locality.

Where we go on holiday in Devon, they are considering introducing it at the church there. My DD has set a good example apparently

ScaryScienceT · 31/10/2007 07:56

Here is Guildford, they have to wait till confirmation.

MaryBS · 31/10/2007 08:13

That's interesting (and typical of the C of E). What age do they confirm at?

ScaryScienceT · 31/10/2007 08:15

We had a big confirmation service in the spring, and it was open to children in Year 8 - so 12 year olds. Not sure if that is diocesan policy, but it may have been because the vicar's daughter was in Year 8.

serin · 31/10/2007 22:26

Thankyou for the explanation MaryBS,

I didn't think it sounded blunt at all!

WorkingClassScum · 01/11/2007 10:39

Well we just turned up to Bible study and it was great. The vicar wasn't here this week and a couple had just come back from Uganda where they were visiting a church/school/orphanage our church is going to be forging links with and so there was more chatting than usual so we got to know them and they us and it was lovely!

Also, the couple I just mentioned are retired head teachers and they do babysitting!! Their services were offered! How fantastic is that! Everyone also commented that it wouldn't be long before I was roped into doing some kind of work so I'm looking forward to it!

ExplosiveScienceT · 01/11/2007 10:43

Excellent stuff, WCS - hope this is the start of a long and happy friendship

Peachy · 01/11/2007 10:44

LOL- yes CofW is Church of Wales not really any different (ones I have attended have been a bit 'higher' but thats probably th4e area we moved to)

I just bend my head in a solemn fashion; actually I have a tendency to cry but thats just me

WorkingClassScum · 01/11/2007 10:51

Oh Peachy, the crying thing. I do feel I cry "inappropriately". Like I sobbed all through my vows when I got married... made such a good video but the husband said he loved it.

My worry is that when I get baptised I will start blubbing in front of everyone. dh says if you can't cry in church where can you cry, I tell him it's okay for him he's an American... we English can't be showing our emotions for all the world to see!!!

ExplosiveScienceT · 01/11/2007 10:52

You can't tell at your baptism - you get wet anyway

Peachy · 01/11/2007 10:53

I dont cry thate asily, just in Church for some reason! Was working towards baptism back home but struggled to make the times for childcare, so got thrown out - still something I want but imposible to find a regular time with the ds's, Dh on shifts and no childcare.