Non christians and churches. What do you like about them please. ?

[lightand]

Our church[not Church of England] is a rather bland converted building.

We have opened it up[pre covid] on a weekday, and is open to all. We would like to encourage non Christians especially to wander in. Sit? Browse? Think? Pray.

What would you like, or like to think, was in the Church for you? What would you find helpful/useful.

Thanks.

And right now, in lockdown, only a food bank would be essential.

Stick to the guidelines and open for worship only for now.

I'm a non Christian and I do feel uncomfortable in a Church. I can't see how that will change. I can't say why; it just feels like a very alien environment. I like the principles of Christianity, but I just don't believe that there is a God.
What would get me into a church?
Not a lot. Maybe a concert

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the church community I felt part of as a child, growing up attending weekly (CoS). I always used to get in trouble at Sunday school for asking questions. I turned away from it though as it was so heavy, so many expectations and was clique.

My husband comes from quite a religious background and over the years I've often attended Catholic masses and funerals/weddings/christenings with him. I just find it too much. The priest/ministers are too dry, they speak for too long and there isn't enough participation. It's too intense.

I would come back if there was more of a community feel; an event or time to connect with others and speak about what 'spiritual' aspects help in your own life e.g. meditation (which can find similarities with prayer).

I get really put off with the 'our way or the highway' and the highway being going to hell. It's all just quite intense and I think that's what is turning younger generations away.

I hope you get a good turnout as I know many of the church community have their hearts in the right place

Our local Methodist church is fab. It runs baby and toddlers 3x a week, slimming world several times, Brownies, and more groups. It also has an amazingly priced cafe that sells cakes, soup, tea & coffee and has nice kids toys.
I'd start by offering a toddler group and see how it goes from there. I'd keep it non Christian perhaps. The one we went to charged £1 per family and ladies from the church made us a cuppa rather than us trying to with wriggly toddlers and we felt so welcome. They did a Christian type Christmas session in the church one a year but the focus the rest of the time was just a nice community spirit really.

Maybe your focus needs to be on what you can do for your community, rather than bringing people in.

I wasnt sure I was going to reply to everyone as I had been doing, but each reply is different and has merit, so I will continue. With some breaks to give myself some time to think about them all.

@2020BogOff
I wasnt sure if atheists visited churches. Looks like they do, going by this thread.
And it is dawning on me, that looking very religious, is a big off-put for many. Though if the religious aspect were to be dropped altogether, our building would look like a community center in next to no time. We need the balance.

@StillWeRise
Our local CofE did ask locals what they wanted, about 20 years ago. I read it at the time, but think I read it from a totally different perspective. If it is not too much bother, and assuming they havent thrown it, I will see if I can get a reread. I wouldnt imagine peoples' opinions would have changed that much from then. Someone described this area as a time stood still place.

@WeeDangerousSpike and others who talk about bereavement. As a Christian, I had always assumed that it would be taken in the same way as non-Christians talking to others about bereavement[not that I have done it much as I dont feel particularly able in that area]. Now I can see that any Christian talking about bereavement could be misconstrued, or at least looked at in a different way by at least some people, if not many. And perhaps rightly in some cases, though I would sincerely hope not. I hope I am writing this right, as the subject of bereavement it obviously a sensitive subject to everyone.

@Firefliess and @treeeeemendous After some thought, I think[when covid allows] we will try having the door visibly open. Bit concerned about local cats and dogs coming in, but worth giving it a try.
We do not have a graveyard. I am aware of quite a number of people who find them interesting.

@vminkookie. No idea how much they cost, and whether our building would look quite right with stained glass. I will have a bit of a look into it. Thanks for the idea.

In terms of what I want from the church (which is a different question to that you originally posed) I don't want anything, I have no interest in engaging with the church or religion, I don't want the church or religion to try to engage with me.

I'm very atheist and don't want to be converted, but I like churches – especially old and atmospheric ones with that old wood smell, but any church can be interesting. I like the idea of it as a welcoming place to go or community hub. If I had a local church with a cafe, clothing (or other item) exchange, classes etc I'd probably love that and use it a lot. I'd definitely go to a sewing/craft group, or a "sing hymns/songs but don't get preached at" service.

I don't like religious people talking to me evangelically, but I do think a minister or staff person in a church can be a comforting figure, if there's mutual respect and acceptance of each other's positions. It's almost as if the comfort they get from their belief affects me too, even though I am not on board with the actual belief, if that makes sense.

@Snorkelface Things in your post I need to ponder some more.
& @ArchbishopOfBanterbury. Our church closed when the area went up a tier, and before the current lockdown. We were concsious of a sudden uprising in cases elsewhere, but near enough to us, and decided thankfully to shut earlier rather than later. So no services for several weeks now.
Music - A lot of people like church music, and yes, I think we need to think some more about having more music, one way or another. Other posters have mentioned concerts.

Several posters are mentioning peace and stillness. And one mentions reflection. Good. That is what we are somewhat hoping to do. At least in part. Even those of faith or none, some appreciate that, and that is one thing our church can offer, relatively easily. Not sure precisely at all, what ours needs to get the maximum effect of that though. Ideas welcome.

@WeeDangerousSpike

If I went to a church for a secular event like a baby club or a coffee morning raising money for the local play park I would be most off put if someone tried to 'reach me with the word' no matter how pleasant and well meaning they were. I certainly wouldn't go back. Our local methodist Chapel is where I go to vote. The one in our nearest town houses homeless people overnight, and I donate to them for that. They do not preach to the people staying there, or to the people donating. If they did I would not donate. Our c of e Church has regular exhibitions - Christmas tree decorating competitions, patchwork quilt exhibitions, themed art exhibitions. All are secular, the church is open and you go in and look, there might be a collection box out for whatever group is exhibiting, or an honesty box for an entrance charge, there's no one meeting and greeting or trying to get you to come on Sunday. I don't object to donating for the upkeep of a historic building. I wouldn't donate for anything to do with preaching.

I am made very uncomfortable by people who feel the need to convert others. Like we'll have some great realisation that what they believe is true. There used to be a local man with very severe mental health problems who would walk around our local town and tell people all about his rock solid belief in dragons and aliens and conspiracies. People talking to me about God and heaven and their religious convictions make me just as uncomfortable as he did, he believed in dragons just as religious people believe in God.

I think if you want to do good for the sake of doing good, and have baby clubs, yoga classes, food banks or whatever your community needs then absolutely that's a good thing. And if you believe you are getting something intangible back in a next life as a result, and that gain is not costing anyone else anything, then that's a good thing.
If you want to lure in unsuspecting non religious people on the pretext of a coffee morning but once they get there you try to press your views on them, however gently or nicely, then that is not a good thing.

This is my opinion also. I hate street preachers although you could say they were in a league of their own.. I was in the centre of town not long ago and the 'Christian' preacher proclaimed in a booming voice how we are all going to help unless we recognise our saviour. He also told about 'the wrongs of homosexuality'. I told him to nicely fuck off and he asked me why I wondered how that wasn't considered hate speech and a criminal offence.... anyone know if they ever get stopped by police?

I only like the architecture but if yours is a bland converted building then. I wouldn’t have any interest in going inside.

And it is dawning on me, that looking very religious, is a big off-put for many. Though if the religious aspect were to be dropped altogether, our building would look like a community center in next to no time. We need the balance

I think you might be misconstruing some of the comments OP. I think a church looking religious is in fact a drawing point for those who aren’t religious but appreciate architecture and history. The off putting aspect would be attempts to discuss the word, whether the church was ornate or plain. That said, I feel uncomfortable in licensed church halls which have religious statues in them. It feels jarring.

No emotional manipulation.

Definitely not the manipulation of emotionally vulnerable people e.g. grieving people.

Trying to reach people with the “word” whilst pretending to want to help the community is retry disgusting behaviour IMHO.

I’m not sure this is what you are really asking am also a bit confused by what you are actually wanting to achieve ( I don’t mean that nastily ) church halls for example or at least around here are often used for things like excersize groups / town fairs / boot sales / kids parties / baby groups etc But to me thats just people using a cheap an available space to host things rather than any connection to the religious aspects

My visits to churches are really only ever for things like weddings / school nativity / carol services BUT I do enjoy being in the church when I am there. I find them peaceful and if anything I love the really traditional looking churches - stained glass windows , lots of decorative ornate stuff inside etc because I think it’s beautiful from an architectural point of view but then I like old buildings generally

I will on occasion for example on holiday pop in to a church If there is one were we are staying and they are open and normally have a sign saying they welcome people to come look - again Though this is really for the architecture, I wouldn’t pop in if it was just some plain looking hut tho

I’d describe myself as agnostic

Agnostic here.

I do enjoy looking round old churches to enjoy the sense of history, look at interesting architectural features and so on.

I tend to find modern church buildings quite depressing on the rare occasions I have been into them.

There'd have to be something like an art exhibition, sale of books, interesting lecture or craft fair to get me into a modern church for an occasion other than a wedding or funeral. Obviously all of those are probably out during Covid.

Wishing you luck with your venture.

I know! Cover it in gingerbread and sweets.

I would use it exactly as I would use a community centre really. But if there was any preaching/spreading the word I would be completely put off, wouldn't want my kids around that either.

I like a sense of community and coffee mornings, but mainly if I visit a church it is mainly because the architecture interests me. DS decided he was a Christian when he was a teen and I went along to a few events to keep him company. Coffee mornings on a Saturday with bacon sandwiches and cake sales were lovely because it gave the community a place to meet.

I'm pretty sure there is debt counselling at our local church. As far as I know it's a secular not religious aspect of what they do.
There are also 2 churches that have cafes run by (I believe) volunteers, just coffee/cake type places but loads cheaper than costa!

I am an ex Christian so know that churches ultimately use groups like coffee mornings to try and convert non Christians. The only churches I enjoy going in are liberal CofE churches. The one near me runs an amazing food bank. The volunteers are from all faith backgrounds and non and aren’t in it to convert people. When my kids were babies the church ran the best toddler group (with the best coffee and cake). I really do appreciate the way so many churches fill the gap through activities like this. I also really enjoy old church buildings but for quiet contemplation I would rather walk in nature. However I do not trust evangelical or free churches. The local non denominational church is involved in my kids school and it really irks me. I don’t want my children being influenced by people who think homosexuality is a sin or that the earth is 6000 years old!

Interesting architecture. Art. The English Martyrs Catholic church in Goring, Sussex had (in pre-Covid days) large numbers of visitors to view the ceiling.

english-martyrs.co.uk/our-church/visiting-us/sistine-chapel-ceiling/

I guess a very cheap baby/toddler group but I'd prefer one run in a café or pub because they're trying to get you to spend money there, I'm fine with that but can't stand trying to be nudged into being converted. I probably wouldn't bother with a cafe (unless baby/toddler and cheap) because I rarely go to cafes and when I want a hot chocolate I want the sugary fatty creamy junk or even more rare posh and luxurious not Cadbury's powder in hot water.

Maybe a hobby group but again I'd prefer more neutral ground so it better be really cheap.

It irritates me that DDs nursery is in a church hall (they visit the church in normal times for music I think) I'd prefer a normal building... hers was very nice and affordable

LOL basically churches equal annoying so I value them not very much. Sometimes the buildings are beautiful and I value that but that's not yours and I'm not sure I'm that enticed to pay more for a baby group in a modern box church than a gothic one.