Evangelical church made me uncomfortable

[Grace212]

Hi all
I just wondered if anyone could relate to this experience.

Some friends had their baby baptised last week. I am not a believer but I have found churches comforting and often pop to St Martins during the week when I need headspace from work.

I don't know much about anything, but when I got the invitation I was surprised to see the type of church it was as the friends in question have never tried to "convert" anyone that I know of.

anyway, I thought I would just keep an open mind and went along expecting it to be quite nice.

but something about it - it's still bugging me. something about it made me feel very uncomfortable. Some people were being confirmed in the same service, their speeches were quite overwhelmingly OTT.

when there was bread and wine - which I can't do obvs - there were ushers or something trying to get those of us who were still seated to go up.

Overwhelming it just felt like claiming love for Jesus and not much else. I was seated with an elderly relative of the friends; she kept asking me "what's going on" and said afterwards that it didn't seem anything like the church services she is used to.

it felt very noisy - vicar played guitar - and dramatic.

to be clear, I have no interest in this because none of it is for me anyway. But I went past it today while running errands, someone was outside - a church worker I guess - and asking people in for tea. And she recognised me and I felt in a hurry to get away.

A strong sense of unease....also I hope this doesn't offend anyone but I think they run the Alpha course and years ago, I had a friend whose mother did the Alpha course and it caused a lot of issues in their relationship, so my friend is very anti Alpha, though I tend to take the view that most people worship in a personal way.

I just wondered what others thought. Googling suggests this kind of church is very popular. interested to hear views.

I think different church styles tend to suit different people, and often at different stages in their lives. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've seen people who were perfectly suited to quiet, meditative iona style worship, forcing themselves into big stage band style enthusiasm, and it might meet a need for a while, but it really wasn't them, so eventually they moved on.

I think it's part of human nature to have a specific personality and feel a certain pressure to be something you're not, and, as church is a part of human experience, you're likely to find that nature there too.

Wrt being concerned about homophobia, yes, its undoubtedly still every strong theme in evangelical circles, but not all of us who have been through the evangelical experience are on the same page, and some are delightfully open, while being fiercely honest about the faults in the evangelical community - the recently deceased Rachel Held Evans is a beautiful example of someone with an evangelical experience who loved the church and her faith, but was searingly honest about the bad things.

Just like to point out there are good and bad Christians and good and bad atheists. There are homophonic Christians and homophobic atheists. We are all drawing from the same gene pool.
For what it's worth Christians subscribe to the love your neighbour direction but we all get it wrong sometimes, Christians and atheists.

I am Catholic and we offer the Alpha course at our church. It is basically introducing people to the essence of Christianity for those who often have no previous knowledge. It's pretty low key, consisting of short talks and videos followed by discussion around tables and a meal. All questions and thoughts are encouraged.

It has a straightforward structure so any Christian church of any type can use it. We have a very big parish with a big social hall and the Alpha course always attracts large numbers of people.

I haven't personally been involved in Alpha up to now but am currently training for the new course that starts in September. I went to a local training session and there were a range of churches represented including a few Catholic parishes.

Obviously the course will reflect the church that is offering it. If the evangelical church was uncomfortable it might be that any experience of church up to now has been in a more traditionally liturgical setting such as a C of E (as you mention Christenings and weddfings).

There is a vast range of Christian churches such as the ancient churches like the Orthodox, Catholics and Copts which are highly liturgical, to very casual churches that have just started to meet in a local community building and are happy for you to slurp coffee through the proceedings. So "Christian church" covers a very broad range.

OP, I understand how you felt, and I'm a Christian. There are two C of E churches within half a mile of each other here. One is exactly how you describe. I go to the other one. The first church made me really uncomfortable.

Communion should only be given to those who have become a Christian. It's a reminder of Jesus blood and flesh. A church allowing non chrìstians to take it are going against the bible.

We have an Anglican Evangelical church. I have never been but I know someone who was very involved. They were awful bullies, with a spectacularly narrow/rigid interpretation of the Bible.

I think that some churches just develop an unhealthy culture over time. Another friend of different time/different place had similar. Pretty close to cultish in the way they operated, trying to cut people off from friends the church disapproved of (usually a charismatic male church leader doing this). Makes me shudder. Especially when DC went on recent visit via school!

Obviously not all churches like this. Perhaps there is a tendency for evangelical churches to go down this path. Possibly a generalisation, but looking sociologically - any belief system with hierarchy, dogmatic views and urge to convert people to 'the right path' seems vulnerable to a kind of group think which can become quite unsavoury and impose a lot of members and cast out/blame members who have quite innocently fallen from grace with the powerful as it were.

I am a big believer (ahem) in trusting your instincts for people and organisations. I can see why people are evangelist but makes me cringe and want to run too. Sadly counterproductive for them I think!

Run for the hills!
It's a cult.

I'm so sorry to hear this. The church I go to would never make you feel this way. Even the offering we say only give, if you feel able too. Don't let this one place put you off. My first church was like that and I moved to a different church. I'm still going 20 years on.