How Christians approach conversations about Halloween

[GoingToInfinity]

Both my husband and I are Christian and don't believe the concept of celebrating Halloween is a good thing and doesn't fit in with our lives. However I remember being frustrated as a child that my parents refused to let me take part in Halloween celebrations like parties and trick or treating feeling like it was completely unfair and that I was missing out on things with my peers. At times it would be fair to say I resented them a little but as an adult I now know, understand and appreciate the reasons why.

I know as my son grows up he will be curious about Halloween and I would like to know how you approach explaining to a child the reasoning for not celebrating? Do you do any things around this time of you as an alternative, eg our local church do a 'Light party'?

Thank you all for your great answers.

I agree there's nothing essentially wrong with dressing up, carving pumpkins etc as long as when he grows up he understands the parts we don't support eg ouija boards, seances etc.

I'll also be empathising the All Saints day and remembering loved ones as I think that's a really positive thing to celebrate at this time of year.

I also don't really get the concept of light parties either.

Yes indeed, CubanHeels.

As a result of the 'devil's birthday' thing, DD4 and her best friend have never spent time together at Hallowe'en. It's an interesting myth and I have always wondered if it's an African cultural holdover still in circulation (best friend is African American) or a Baptist belief. Or a combination...

My parents were from the heart of the south east, and they had all sorts of tales of fairy rings, hawthorn trees, memories of women who were extremely old in the 1940s sowing eggs in fields to bring bad luck to the farmers who owned them, and lots more. The Hallowe'en spiritual jeopardy and danger stories were doing the rounds of the south side of Dublin when I was a child (70s).

Blackthorn trees, not hawthorn.

cubanheels Rural Munster you say? Then that surely makes us cousins!
I consider myself Christian (but a bit of a mixed up one attending both RC and Anglican churches), I love the community feeling around our little village at Halloween. If the weather's nice people have chairs out in their front gardens waiting for the trick or treaters and actually chatting to their neighbours , and that includes our friends who are Muslim.

We don't. We live very rurally and to knock on people's door with so many old people and people on their own is unfair. We carve happy face and put them outside with a huge bag of sweets and ask them to help themselves. If they knock on the door -all hell would break loose because of the dogs and gate alarms.

I think it is fine -to explain about other religions.

I'm christian but xmas day was originally a mid winter festival. The church tried to put their own festivals where pagan festivals were. The church think crusades, child abuse etc -is not perfect. Facing it head on (age appropriately) is ok . I didn't want mine growing up thinking being a 'christian' makes you perfect. I don't agree with my pastor's sermons or some members of my church spouting off about homosexuality. But I make it clear my faith is my faith and we need to do what is right for us.

As a Muslim it’s really interesting to read through this thread! Do the same views regarding Halloween also apply to the “fake” bits of Xmas and Easter? Santa and Easter bunny for instance? Do you allow your children to believe in Santa or do you direct more towards st Nicholas? Sorry if I’ve derailed your thread ! My mums family are “Christian” but not religious at all so I’ve no first hand insight into a practicing modern Christian family.

Father Christmas has always been Saint Nicholas in our house, MrsA2015. Personally I have always been open about the reality of the cultural aspects of social festivals, because it's fascinating how all these elements interact. Faith is faith, but I don't think we should be afraid of acknowledging the way our culture and different faiths have affected each other.

In fairness OP it doesn't even have to be within the context of religion (although I understand it is for you). As a child I hated feeling scared so Halloween wasn't my favourite to begin with, and my mum didn't like trick or treating as she felt it was grabby so I've never been T/Ting or celebrated Halloween. Maybe just explain that people in the world have different ideas/beliefs and celebrate things or not. Teaching diversity is no bad thing 😊

This thread reminds me of a query sent into an Islamic website by a Muslim wondering if it was okay to celebrate a Christian festival. The reply given was:

It is not permissible for a Muslim to take part in the festivals and innovated celebrations of the Kuffar, such as Easter, Christmas and so on, because taking part and attending is helping in this evil, and increasing their numbers, and imitating them, all of which is not allowed.

It seems to me that regarding other people’s traditional celebrations as intrinsically unsavoury is unhelpful. Whether as a Muslim looking at Christian customs or as a Christian looking at customs rooted in pagan practices, adopting an overly negative attitude is detrimental to the forging of bonds across cultures and world views in the wider community.

That depends on what you mean by helpful though, outwith

There is one goal in my life. One thing is important and that is to get to heaven, and do my part in making sure those I am responsible for get to heaven.

Everything else is secondary.

Forging bonds across cultures and communities is good of course, but not if by doing that, my actions result in me being separated from God for eternity.

Is Halloween ok to celebrate? Yes in certain ways, no in others. So when I am unsure which bits will be happening at a certain party or event, I have to say no to the whole event, in case we end up doing the unacceptable bits.

isittheholidaysyet

You put your religion above hamonious relationships and goodwill to fellow humans?

That's dangerous territory.

There is one goal in my life. One thing is important and that is to get to heaven, and do my part in making sure those I am responsible for get to heaven.

As a fellow-Catholic, I wonder which other bits of Catholic doctrine you obey to the letter along with your fear of ouija boards. No artificial contraception? Confession before taking communion every single time? What if your children leave the church, or are gay, or marry divorcé/es and don't baptise their babies, and risk removed from the Beatific Vision?

I'm sorry, what? What are you saying about holidays reasonable posts about why she makes some decisions around some practices based on her faith?

What exactly do you think is Catholic doctrine around those topics? It's not unheard of for Catholics to not use artificial contraception. It's not a Catholic doctrine that you must go to Confession before every reception of communion. And if your children walk away from your faith, you're allowed to be sad about it, but there is no Catholic doctrine that says you should treat them in a bad way.

I see nothing in her posts except a reservation about being involved with practices she understands to be contrary to her faith. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

I think holidays sounds like Therése of Lisieux on crack, to be honest.

Only the most credulous person thinks ouija boards are anything other than a way for suggestible teenagers to get some thrills from the ideomotor effect, so if she genuinely thinks that the slightest contact with these are going to permanently separate her from the Beatific Vision, I can only assume that she takes an equally stringent stance on artificial contraception, divorce and other doctrinal issues.

No artificial contraception?
No obviously not. It's quite a basic requirement.

Confession before taking communion every single time?
Not Catholic teaching. Only needed if in mortal sin. But yes, I am a big sinner, and often go to confession.

What if your children leave the church,
As children? That is my responsibility to get them there.
As adults? Then my responsibility as their parent is a different role. I need to pray for them and witness to them. It is up to them to take responsibility for their own belief and practice or lack thereof.

or are gay
You can be Catholic and attracted to people of the same sex as you.

or marry divorcé/es and don't baptise their babies,
Adult decisions made by adults, not my responsibility. My job to pray and witness.

and risk removed from the Beatific Vision?
That's why I would pray for them and be sad.

But what does any of that have to do with me choosing not to take part in certain practices. Why is it a problem for you? Why does it harm you.

speakout
If I grow in holiness, I grow in love for others. I grow in goodwill.
That's not dangerous.
Putting harmonious relationships above every other consideration maybe dangerous though IMO.

Maybe she does. That's her prerogative.

Nice to have a fellow Catholic ripping the piss out of her conscience, though.

I can promise you that there are no ouija boards or demon summoning at primary school Hallowe'en parties. I can't really understand the religious objection to the mainly harmless practices of carving pumpkins, dressing up and eating sweets. Nobody actually does any 'tricking' where I live and all the little children go round with their parents only knocking at houses where there is a lighted pumpkin (ie a household which has shown its willingness to participate). You can explain the origin of the festival, and how we don't believe all those things any more, but there's nothing against Christian doctrine in dressing up and having parties - no one is celebrating evil or believing anything antithetical to God, they are just having fun.

Presumably at Christmas you don't have Father Christmas, a tree or crackers, and at Easter no chocolate eggs or fluffy chicks.

Do the same views regarding Halloween also apply to the “fake” bits of Xmas and Easter? Santa and Easter bunny for instance? Do you allow your children to believe in Santa or do you direct more towards st Nicholas?...I’ve no first hand insight into a practicing modern Christian family.

"Christian' is an umbrella term - different denominations have very different beliefs and practices.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas_Day
I suspect many people who celebrate Christmas religiously are able to combine all the materialistic elements with their religious observation, and are reasonably comfortable doing so. (Same goes for people who celebrate All Saints Day with a church service and also the secular aspects of Hallowe'en).