I think I have freaked DS out about easter

[sockmonkey]

I told DS1 (aged 3.9) that it was his easter holidays starting next week. He asked what easter was, so I told him it was a time to remember Jesus, and that he died, but he came back to life again. (I told him christmas was when we remember he was born etc)We go to church every week, and they would be telling him about it anyway.

Now he is really scared. He says he doesn't want Jesus coming to his house. I have told him he wont be and that he is busy in heaven with the angels, but he is still upset. He says he doesn't want his egg and he doesn't want easter.

What have I done??!!

How can I calm him down about it? Any ideas?
TIA

My dd (aged 4.5 y o) is already way too aware of death IMO (she has lost her lovely granny, and two beloved dogs in the last 2 yrs) so I am going very light on the full details of the easter story. It's not that I think she's too young to understand it all, it's that she understands only too well and it would upset her a lot.

Anyway, last yr at our toddler group (aged 0 - 3) the minister did a little easter story for the children and he used pictures that he'd printed out from the Thomas the Tank Engine website. The story went a bit like this...

Why is THomas so happy? He's just heard something very exciting. ANd he wants to find a friend so that he can tell his friend the exciting news. So he's going to look for Percy. Can any of you chlidren spot Percy? Oooooh, well done! Thomas is going to whisper the exciting news in Percy's ear. I wonder what it could be? Oooohh, look, now Percy is happy too! So they want to find someone else to tell. They're going to find Emily (and so on and so on, until....) Yes, and do you know what the exciting news is, children? THe exciting news is that it's easter time and that means that Jesus loves us all very very much and He is with us all the time!

At which point fliers with details of the easter services are given out and thechildren go back to the church hall for an easter feast.

I think that was a lovely way to approach it for a toddler. (the group is not particularly in-yer-face religious btw in case that kicks off as a separate issue, but does roll it out on special occasions and the parents are happy with that! )

Fwiw, I don't mind debating with non-Christians over this, I'm fairly relaxed about the whole thing.

However you know of Christians who do not believe in the crucifixion and resurrection then I fail to see how they can be Christians. Christians are so called because of their belief in Christ, believing that he is indeed the Son of God and did resurrect. If they don't believe that then they must be Jews who don't believe that Christ resurrected, they believe he was a mortal man.

Neither do Christians believe in ghosts, or they certainly shouldn't do. The Bible says very clearly that the dead cannot communicate with this world. The dead do not rise again until the end of time, hence the term the catholics came up with; purgatory, to describe the state the dead are in until they are risen again. But this is guesswork as no-one really knows if the dead are aware of anything at all.

Eggs and the bunny are not part of the Christian rituals, but some heathen priests may decide to include them for the kiddies sake. For us Easter is more important than Christmas, it's what Jesus came down to earth for, it was the whole point of his mission.

I'm not stating of this for you to argue with btw, just for the benefit of those non-Christians who may be interested!

Happy Easter!

Oh and as far as death is concerned, I don't play up to the whole crucifixion goriness. But a bit of advice, don't shield your kids from death or they will see it as something to be feared, a taboo subject.

I talk openly of death as much as I do about birth. dd has handled dead animals and although she hasn't yet had to face a death in the family, she has known death, such as poor Maude whom she remembers. She asks questions about death and I try to answer them honestly and calmly.

She has not yet had any major trauma about us or anyone else dying, she knows she can talk about it and she knows it happens to everyone sooner or later.

So be open and honest with your kids.

just talking today a=with dh about trying to find some sort of spirituality/belief syastem for our lives... am PMSL at this thread- reminding me why i stopped having a religion in the first place...

And your point is?

Aloha having to tell her ds that Jesus "got Better", and thomas tank engines whispering to each other about the love of Jesus, and various bits and bobs in there... just making the cynic in me wince.
Sorry, but there it is, I was brought up as a catholic and just didn't end up with any faith at all... which i find sad as i'd love a religion, they sound great.
I'd love to meet up with a big group of people every week and sing some songs and have a natter, and then have a moral code ot live by and placate my doubts about the world...and for the kids it would be good to be able to have an understanding about the point of life etc.

but i just can't do it, I just don't have faith in it all anymore.

Try the Quakers.

They don't live by religious rules, but they are open to everyone, they believe everyone is equal, they don't believe in authority and they say that a relationship with God should be personal and without conditions.

They meet up every week.

But if you are glad that you gave up your beliefs, what is it that you are hankering for now?

Thanks Rhubarb that was interesting to read.

not really glad that i gave it up- i just never had it.
I went to all of the retreasts and tried to believe in all of it and was actually really jealous of the other people who seemed to have the faith i wanted.

I must admit that i am a much more chilled out person since i have let go of n=the need to follow the religion i was brought up in.

However, i am the sort of person who seems to need to have an identitiy within a community-

i am sorry if my pmsl was offensive, having thought it through then it could have been rude.
ANd i didn't give up on religion, i wanted to be part of it, but it just didn't work out- i just found i didn't re\lly believe in it all.
ANd i totally agree with your discussion about if you don't believe in all of the religion then you are not a true memeber, which is why i am not involved in anyway, i would find myslef feeling that is was being disrespectful of the people with true faith..

HAve thought about the quakers, but am not sure that i belive in chritianity in general....

Well give the Quakers a go because they believe that you can find your personal religion without conforming to rules and so on. Some people find organised religion stifling and it's not for them, but that doesn't mean that you are not religious. Faith is a very personal thing and sometimes you can just be looking in the wrong place. Don't feel that you have to pray a certain way or do anything a certain way, just do what comes natural or feels right to you. Make a bit of time each day, perhaps just five minutes in the bath or whatever, talking with Him or being quiet and pondering.

If you want faith badly enough, then it will come, just stop trying too hard and take it easy.

thanks Rhubarb

My five year old son came home from school asking how crucifixion kills. His teacher had been telling him about the crucifixion of Jesus and it reduced him to tears.

I felt a little angry, but then I don't think you can sugar coat the world. If it had been up to me, would I ever consider my son older enough to learn that people sometimes get murdered in horrible ways.

Whether you believe in the ressurection or not, it is a fact that been lots of people who were tortured to death. Infact people are still tortured to death in the 21st century.

My son asked about Jesus coming alive and if he was alive now. We talked about God in the form of the holy spirt. Surprisingly my son is quite happy about the existance of the holy spirit.

DS is obsessed by the crucifixion. He was introduced to the brutal mechanics by an over-enthusiastic nursery teacher, and one night I had the following conversation while I was settling him to sleep:
DS: Mummy, did it take a long time for Jesus to die in the cross?
Me: I don't know, but i expect so.
DS: why didn't they put nails through his head, he would have died much more quickly.
Me: yes, I expect he would, let's think about something else, this isn't a very nice thing to think about at bedtime, is it?
DS: No, but it is interesting.

Now he wants to put a cricifix on his easter Bonnet, and I don't think it's quite the right thing, especially as we are not practising christians....

Buy him a Passion of The Christ DVD for Easter.

On second thoughts, don't.