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Original poster

I love Jesus, but hate going to church!

40 replies

TeaForever · 19/03/2017 16:31

Just wondered if there are any other Christians who feel this way? I honestly do adore God. I'm sometimes giddy with it - all He's doing for me - healing me, forgiving me, helping me to forgive others, returning the years 'the locusts have eaten away' etc. The peace of knowing Jesus is incomparable.
I sometimes have days on end of just bathing in God's love & grace. Then I go to church, and feel depressed for the rest of the day! And need to watch secular films & eat treats to take my mind off it! I just don't 'fit' with contemporary ecclesiastical culture.
I feel far closer to God when I'm alone with Him, than when I'm with other Christians. I'm a natural introvert, so I guess it's natural in a way. But the thing is that I feel closer to God almost anywhere other than church?! What's wrong with me???!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

TeaForever · 20/03/2017 07:36

Thank you Heathen4Hire yes I have a huge respect for the Quakers, especially their work for peace. I haven't tried the local Quaker meeting in this area yet, so I ought to...

OP posts:

Heathen4Hire · 20/03/2017 07:46

I may be in for a flogging here...but TeaForever is your faith a crutch to balm life's disappointments? (Runs for cover)

Original poster

TeaForever · 20/03/2017 07:50

Hi skerrywind thank you for your messages. Obviously we have a fundamentally different view about the character (and actions) of God. But we possibly agree about some of the damage the institution of the church has done. Please know I have huge respect for everyone's right to their own opinions.
Re your question about salvation - honestly I'd be lying if I said I haven't agonised over this myself. I'm no theologian, and am still on a journey. I certainly believe there's huge compassion from God for those who haven't had access to the Gospels. Beyond that, I just don't know how it all works. All I can say is that I've seen how abounding in love God is, and I trust Him to be merciful & just. But I have had times in the past of deep sleepless night agony over it - especially when I was in contact with some very conservative Christians (very different from me) who didn't help me feel any closer to God at all.
Sorry, I know that's a wishy washy answer. It's because I myself am still confused about some of the ins & outs of theology, it's always an ongoing journey for me...
I'm off now for the day, so please don't be offended if I don't reply to any other messages for several hours. Best wishes x

OP posts:

Original poster

TeaForever · 20/03/2017 07:52

Heathen4Hire you don't need to run for cover! You're totally entitled to your opinion, and I'm not at all offended by the question.

The short answer is no. But it requires qualification. I'm in a rush now. But will reply properly later. Have a good day!

OP posts:

skerrywind · 20/03/2017 07:53

Obviously we have a fundamentally different view about the character (and actions) of God.

Not really- I am simply observing gods "work" as documented in the bible.

Him killing millions of people. Plain for everyone to read.

Genocide is not the action of a loving man.

peukpokicuzo · 20/03/2017 07:55

I've totally been there. I had years where I felt my faith was alive and well but I couldn't bear going to church. The nearest thing I did was attending Greenbelt (you would love it if you don't mind camping)

Google for "emerging church" and "alt worship" near you - these aren't usually weekly but often monthly meetings to engage with God in a creative and different way which often includes bits inspired by celtic and pagan traditions.

Foreverhopeful22 · 20/03/2017 07:58

Me personally I do not think god will not listen to me because I'm not in a church. He is with me all the time. I have no need to go to a church. I do not like church never have.

If I pray or talk he is with me. Why wouldn't he be.... he let's us make our own choices in everything we do and I'm sure that includes worship!

But that's me personally

DevelopingDetritus · 20/03/2017 08:17

You don't need a building to practise your faith. Maybe another gathering of like minded people would suit better. Google is your friend.

cuppawithabook · 20/03/2017 08:20

Yes, I feel that way, absolutely. I go to church fairly regularly as the choral music is amazing and I love the peace there. But as a knackered single parent, I have little energy to give any of my time to church activities and not sure I have much inclination. The church can feel very unwelcoming to a divorcee. But I know Jesus is there, in the connectedness I feel between things that happen in my life, and that what people dismiss as coincidence is not coincidence.
In terms of making you feel better, I would just honour the fact you are solitary and prone to anxiety. It is just how you are. Check out the book and website of Elaine Aron on highly sensitive people. Also Katharine Welby Roberts has some very helpful stuff on her website and also on thingsunseen. But thanks for your post! Made me feel less alone.

witwootoodleoo · 20/03/2017 08:52

OP you might find the Quakers to be a natural fit for you. Their meetings are very different to a conventional church. There is no formal structure of hymns, sermons etc. People sit quietly in their own contemplation of God and if someone feels moved to speak and share thoughts, a poem or anything then they do. But there is no pressure to do anything like that. You can just sit quietly and keep yourself to yourself if you prefer. info here

Madhairday · 20/03/2017 09:00

Hello teaforever. I love the way you describe your faith, it shines out as so dynamic and alive, you clearly draw much strength from alone time with God and I completely get this.

As for church, it can be good and bad and somewhere in the middle. Church is for people, ordinary messed up people and people mess up. It can be cliquey and judgmental. It can also be wonderful and supportive. Unfortunately, I don't believe anyone can find the perfect Church, but people can often find a church which seems to tally more with their preference and theology. Worth shopping around.

Church can be as much a small group in a living room as a crowd in a cathedral, a bunch of people talking theology down the pub as much as the prayer support thread here on MN.

You don't have to go to church to be a Christian. But church in some form I think is important for growth and mutual support. It sounds like you have such a fantastic experience of God - maybe sharing that with others could be good

I'm sorry you've been burned in the past and I hope you find something that feels right at this time, and if that's taking time out that's fine.

Feel free to join in prayer and chat threads

NannyR · 20/03/2017 09:07

If you are interested in finding out about Quakers, on their website there is an option for 'find out more about us'. They sent me a load of really interesting leaflets and books for free, then a couple of weeks after, I had an e-mail from them seeing if I wanted to meet up with someone to ask questions but if not no pressure and they wouldn't get in touch again. I haven't yet been to a meeting (but may in the future) but I was impressed with the info they sent out.

Original poster

TeaForever · 20/03/2017 20:13

Just to say a big thank you for all your lovely responses. I'm genuinely touched by it, and you've all given me food for thought

Heathen4Hire I'm actually really grateful for your challenging question (re my faith being a crutch) as it caused me to examine aspects of my faith, as well as thinking of an answer, as it's a question people of faith may be asked from time to time. This morning I gave you a short no answer. I've actually revised that short answer to a yes and no! To vaguely qualify - I'd say adversity probably caused me to seek God in the first place (though I'd always been spiritually sensitive) and as God has such compassion for hurt people, He revealed Himself to me in a most amazing way. But I wouldn't say my faith now is a crutch to compensate for disappointments. I'd say my faith now is an ongoing daily relationship with the person of Jesus. As time's gone on, I'm honestly less interested in worldly success & achievement. My personal relationship with God is priceless you see. I probably haven't explained it in a very articulate way, but I hope I've at least semi-explained it. Thank you again for challenging me. Take care

OP posts:

Heathen4Hire · 21/03/2017 08:05

You are welcome. (Sorry for the late reply)

ollieplimsoles · 21/03/2017 10:19

Op you sound like a lovely person and I'm really glad you have found some clarity and peace in your life after much uncertainty.

I am an atheist and non believer, after struggles in my own life. Its true that the feelings you describe of giddiness, of clarity and of overwhelming care and comfort can be experienced without faith or belief in god. When I first learned that it was ok to reject the concept of god, religion and the bible, I felt the way you describe, and I couldn't understand why anyone would believe.

Over time you realise there are people who don't think like you and they are entitled to their opinions.

Obviously there are things you still need to sort out in your mind, but be aware the bible is on the whole a contradictory text that can be read many ways on different contexts. It seems some of your values are not actually in line with Christianity, from what I've read from your posts.

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