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Negative reactions from people when I say I go to church?

102 replies

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 08/10/2016 10:43

I've always believed, I was christened and my daughter is to.

My daughter is 9 and she goes to a Christian club for an hour every week and she loves it.

From this club she went to a week long holiday bible club and loved that to. After this we both started going to the church every Sunday morning, it's friendly, my friend goes to and I know a few people there. It's a baptist church and I really get something from going.

What's really surprised me is other people's reactions. My mum pulled a face when she found out we're going and thinks it's going to 'damage ' my DD. She's the one that never let up until I had my daughter christened, so don't understand this reaction!

My brother was embarrassingly vocal and said some quite unpleasant things about people who go to church. Why though, he made a big deal of having an expensive christening for his kids, which was obviously for show!

I've also had other mild comments from people . So, how do I react when people give negative reactions to going to church.

Why do people have these reactions, it's just a church with kind, friendly people who are all there for the same reason I thought.

OP posts:
user1474781546 · 16/10/2016 10:43

This plaque stands at the foot of Edinburgh castle as a memorium to the one million women who were tortured and executed usually by burning.
This was done by the church.

Negative reactions from people when I say I go to church?
Negative reactions from people when I say I go to church?
user1474781546 · 16/10/2016 10:47

Edited to clarify that the burning was done by the church, not the plaque.

Obviously.

anon123456 · 16/10/2016 13:50

It would be nice to be able to speak about MY beliefs ... people expect you to respect their atheist beliefs without showing yours the same respect.

I understand where your coming from but free speech includes the freedom to ridicule. Would you respect, talk about and not ridicule someone who talks about how their virtual pet unicorn brings love into their life, or their how they have a goblin that keeps messing up their house and making them feel bad, or how drugs is the only way to communicate with pixies to cure them of illness etc etc. Because, leaving aside the many negative sides of religion, that is how atheists view a discussion of gods.

FYI atheists don't have 'beliefs', that is what makes them atheists.

Pickled0nions · 16/10/2016 14:28

I think most people assume you follow the religion if you attend church right?

I don't question somebody who chooses to follow a religion, but, I know that Christianity is sexist towards women, and promotes the mind set that women should stay in the kitchen and men should be the leaders.

Those who truly follow that religion knows what I am saying. I also don't believe in the whole sex after marriage, especially when the bible promotes procreation I think its a contradiction in its own right.

I won't keep waffling this isn't about religion itself so I apologise for that.

I don't believe people should be commenting towards your church going, that's your choice. But some people are outspoken, especially when it comes to religion, and they tend to think they have a right to comment.

I used to go church every Sunday with my grandma and I enjoyed it for the same reasons as you OP. It was a nice atmosphere.

When I eventually started to read the bible I recognised that I did not like the religion and did not feel I could promote a religion that oppressed women.

YuckYuckEwwww · 16/10/2016 14:47

I maintain friendships with Christians, but avoid theological discussions with them, because IMO they're coming from an Illogical point of view:
i.e. if there did indeed exist a god who was worth worshiping, he/she/it would not support any of the worlds major religions, a god worth worshiping would be strongly against them all.

Thatwaslulu · 16/10/2016 14:51

I go to church occasionally- my son "found God" at 12 and wanted to be baptised (we hadn't had himy christened as a baby as neither of us really believe and the vicar at the time was funny about us not being married when we had him). I accompanied him to church as he didn't want to go alone, and now he is 16 we don't go frequently but I like the sense of community. The vicar is very enlightened and knows I am a sceptic, but that doesn't worry her - in fact we get on very well. I don't understand why people would criticise - it's your belief and people should respect that.

sunnyspot · 16/10/2016 18:28

OP don t let it get you down. In my experience most atheists in RL are very respectful and acknowledge all the good stuff Christians do . This week alone our church has run the Food Bank, been out on the streets ( Street Pastors, Soup Kitchen), sent funds to our partner parish in Africa to help build a school, donated 50 bags of warm clothes for the homeless now the weather is turning cold, and visited several elderly and lonely people in the area.
This is what most Christians on the ground are involved with today. Lots of atheists also doing great stuff out there too.
Focus on all this, and try and rise above the negative comments.

2kids2dogsnosense · 16/10/2016 18:40

I'm a Christian and a licensed Reader in the C of E. I have never had a nasty reaction (the main reaction is that most people either stop swearing/apologise for swearing in front of me - they should have heard me this morning when one of our dogs had an iffy tummy and the other two trod it into the kitchen . . . but I digress . . . ).

I have had many requests for prayers from people of all faiths, and none, when things are hard in their lives; I have had questions like "If there's a God he's a bastard because he allowed the Holocaust/Tsunami/hurricanes/ my sister's baby to die - why? How can you worship such a cruel god? What makes you think God exists"

Why? I don't know - that comes down to faith.

How? Because I believe God is wholly good and loving, and that the awful things that happen in the world are either providence to due to humanity's abuse of God's creation.

Why do I think God exists? Because I see the most wonderful selfless acts of kindness by many people (with and without faith) and I believe that God is working in and through them; because I look at our wonderful, exquisite, finely balanced world and know that there is a purpose in it; because I see that even in the worst of horror, God will bring good - perhaps not at once, or obviously, but God will bring good. Nothing is ever wasted in the Divine Economy. Because I can look at a bay and see a tiny miracle.

My question it the other side of the coin. How can anyone look at Creation and DOUBT the presence of a loving God?

YuckYuckEwwww · 16/10/2016 19:07

My question it the other side of the coin. How can anyone look at Creation and DOUBT the presence of a loving God?

Because creation is so frickin awesome and amazing and complex and wonderful and powerful as it is, why would anyone need it to be about more than what it is?, what it is is emense enough for me.

user1474781546 · 16/10/2016 19:31

Because I believe God is wholly good and loving

But he isn't. According to your holy book he has committed many homicides, killing men, women and children estimated at millions of lives.
He admits he is wrathful, jealous, demanding.

If he was human he would be behind bars.

user1474781546 · 16/10/2016 19:32

*How can anyone look at Creation and DOUBT the presence of a loving God?8

Your question is skewed. Creation doesn't exist.

user1474781546 · 16/10/2016 20:15

My question it the other side of the coin. How can anyone look at Creation and DOUBT the presence of a loving God?

So all those lovely creations like eye burrowing worms, syphilis, cholera, leprosy, MRSA, head lice, tape worms cause you to believe in god?

2kids2dogsnosense · 17/10/2016 14:41

So all those lovely creations like eye burrowing worms, syphilis, cholera, leprosy, MRSA, head lice, tape worms cause you to believe in god?

We know Creation isn't perfect - and I don't pretend to read the mind of God. There is a tendency to think that if we are made in God's image, then God is like us, but bigger. Not so. God is different altogether, (think of some of Picasso's images) and beyond our comprehension - but in the same way that some things an adult does can seem very unfair to a child, some of the things that God allows can seem very unfair to us.

I remember seeing Stephen Fry on TV giving the example of the eye-burrowing worm "whose whole purpose is to burrow into the eyeballs of children." Well, for one thing, such a worm doesn't actually exist (he probably means the Loa-Loa eye-worm, which is endemic to some tropical regions, but rarely life-threatening and no more harmful than the myriad other human parasites in the region. Yes - I admit there are some pretty unpleasant things out there.) I would also say that my personal reaction to his pompous outburst was "Oh? - How much of your ridiculously high income are you giving to the alleviation of the suffering of these children?" Maybe he gives a lot - but maybe he doesn't.

So this brings us to theodicy - justifying the goodness of God in the presence of evil. All innocent suffering poses the same question. Either God could stop it and doesn't want to, in which case he isn't wholly good, or wants to and can't, in which case he isn't all-powerful.

Everything seems to grind to a halt when we come up against real people and animals in real pain. But arguably, when we're face to face with such things, our instinct shouldn't be to discuss them, but to get angry and do something about them. Part of our discipleship is to work for human flourishing in body, mind and spirit: we should make the world better, as far as we possibly can.

We shouldn't expect to be exempt from the laws of the natural world, the world is a delicate balance in which everything has a place, but that place may have been affected by humanity's behaviour. I don't know - it's one of the things we must take on faith.

Sickness and death don't mean that God doesn't care. God does care and suffers in and with Creation. Instead of blaming God, we should try to learn and grow through what happens. And it's alright to be angry - there's plenty of anger in the Psalms, after all - and it's alright to grieve.

No-one knows what happens when we die. I'd like to think that we are reunited with those we have loved in life, but I don't know if we will meet them. I am however, sure that we will come to God, and I think that the meaning of all things will be so much clearer even if we still can't fully grasp it with our mortal minds.

An example I read, which I think I like, is that of a tapestry. Our lives are lived in a small area behind the tapestry. All we see are jumbled, dull, colours, loose ends, knots, and a pretty meaningless back to front picture with no clear edges - and only a small part of that. When we die, we pass over to the other side of the tapestry - the front, where there is room to stand back and see it all - it is here that we can see laid out before us in glorious colour and absolute clarity the full panorama - and we see what our misconceptions and errors have been, and not only that we saw only a blurred image, but that without the overview, what we thought was happening wasn't what was taking place.

We don't know why things happen. But as I said before -although I don't believe God wants anyone or anything to suffer, I believe that God can and does bring good out of it if we re prepared to let the Godself work through us.

Miracles are not magic.

God is not Santa Claus.

We are God's instruments on earth - it's up to us to do something about things if we don't like what's happening.

2kids2dogsnosense · 17/10/2016 14:48

user
twocats= atheists don't have "belief" , that's a significant point.

Yes they do - they believe that God does not exist. What is that if it isn't a faith stance?

user1474781546 · 17/10/2016 14:54

Atheism is not a faith- calling it so is like saying not collecting stamps is a hobby.

LunaLambBhuna · 17/10/2016 16:49

I wouldn't have a Christian as a friend

Out of interest, is it just Christians? Would you not have Jews, Muslims, etc as friends?

Your world must be a pretty lonely place. Mind you, with an attitude like that, maybe they don't want you as a friend!
Confused

user1474781546 · 17/10/2016 16:54

The cognitive dissonance is too great. I could indulge in no more than idle chit chat with a christian.

LunaLambBhuna · 17/10/2016 16:57

Didn't answer the question.

user1474781546 · 17/10/2016 17:08

I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who worships a murderous god. No matter what faith.

Their gods are either inept or sadistic.

LunaLambBhuna · 17/10/2016 17:46

Bitter and narrow minded spring to mind. I'm sending you Flowers

user1474781546 · 17/10/2016 17:57

I don't see what's deplorable about thinking negatively of a person who sees fit to worship a mass murderer.

sunnyspot · 17/10/2016 21:55

You said exactly what I was thinking about User Luna. I am fortunate to have a wide circle of very good friends. I choose them on the basis of their personality and core values, not on whether they are of faith, of no faith ,or undecided.
Out of interest User, is it one of the first questions you ask someone you meet, and, even if you like them, do you then decide if they reply yes to a faith, that you are not going to be their friend ?

Lumpylumperson · 18/10/2016 07:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1474781546 · 18/10/2016 07:38

I choose them on the basis of their personality and core values,

Exactly. Which is why I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who worships a mass murderer.

TeapotTam · 18/10/2016 08:47

User - that's if you believe that God is responsible for every single thing that happens in the world, which most obviously don't, otherwise they'd be most disappointed when their every prayer wasn't instantly answered. They view God as a spirit, not a magical genie who can fix things with the click of their fingers but just enjoys watching us live in chaos.

Do you really believe everyone religious is evil? You probably think all muslims are terrorists too! I'm not sure if you have ever met anyone religious, let alone become their friend.

I'm an atheist too OP, just not as unfortunate to be so close-minded as some. Ignore the idiots.

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