How to deal with a rude atheist

[ItsNowOrNeverTrevor]

So over Christmas dinner I had the mis fortune of finding out a member of my extended family is a militant atheist (and I don't use that term lightly). I was raised a Catholic though admittedly I am pretty lapsed these days. That said, I strongly believe you don't need to go to church to pray, and I do pray sometimes.

I also strongly believe that if your religion is what makes you happy, then as long as it doesn't harm anyone else, then it's up to you what you practise. It really doesn't bother me. I think there's room for all sorts and all religions in this world and I feel that on the whole, the common thread running through all religion is to respect others, be compassionate and mindful. I don't see what's so wrong with that.

So what's with the militant atheists who are so very vocal in denouncing all religion and declaring their contempt for all those who believe?? I think he thought his audience was also atheist; I didn't feel like having a debate on Christmas Day of all days so kept quiet. But I did think he was exceptionally rude in the way he ridiculed all who are religious and I wondered how best to deal with the situation if it should rise again (which I'm sure it will?)

I also feel there was a certain hypocrisy but I'm not quite sure how to express it; along the lines of by banging on about what he believes in, he was actually no worse than someone who was very religious being quite outspoken about what they believe in, both equally wanting what they say to be taken as fact.

There is a time and place to challenge religion, and that is not at dinner with family, on a day when many people try to be kind to their loved ones. Pissing them off by ranting on about religion is not the way to be kind.

I am atheist, I would not do that on Christmas day. It reeks of smugness. If you don't want to talk about Auntie Muriels hip replacement, fine. But for gods sake don't turn the meal into a diatribe against something many of your family probably hold dear.

Of course there is a time and a place. Why then is it kind to have prayers before dinner and every one else has to accept them but its not ok to talk about the opposite?

You can voice opinion and still be kind, I personally find it very upsetting for relatives to bring up all the medical ailments everyone has but we have to bite out tongues and put up with it...

If your family wants a religious meal then why invite different religions/atheists and complain when they are open about life?

Why then is it kind to have prayers before dinner and every one else has to accept them but its not ok to talk about the opposite?

I don't think this happens at the average dinner party in the UK, even if the hosts are Christian? And even if it did, it's polite to follow your hosts' customs, but impolite to start a rant if you are a guest.

nextusername: That's what I am trying to find out, how is one supposed to know what topics are off limits/rude when no one tells them (as seems to be the case here). Christmas does sort of bring up the topic and as most people are now only culturally christian its hardly even a contentious subject.

Is it not a question of how you talk about something, not what you talk about?

Boorish behaviour is boorish behaviour whoever does it. Politeness and kindness is always at a premium no matter what your views. If you think that Christians are terrible because they try to impose their views on you, you will hardly be morally or intellectually superior by hectoring them back.

mininy: Exactly its about being a rude person and nothing really to do with atheism. And their is only 2 solutions, ignore them or tell them they are being rude. The op opted for the latter, so would I.