any Jehovah's Witnesses about?

[lorelei9]

I have a bit of a weird question
I hope it doesn't offend anyone and please bear with me as I don't talk about religion at all really so I am not sure what kind of ground I am on IYSWIM.

I work with two lovely lovely JWs. They never talk about their faith so I have no way of knowing if this is linked and of course I get that not everyone does their religion the same way etc.

one of them recently cried laughing when we had a conversation about "marriage for practical reasons". I was the one who used the term - someone was talking about all the legalities etc. I asked her why she found this so funny and she said "well it's ridiculous - marriage is about love - no one gets married for practical reasons". then as I continued to look flummoxed, she apologised and said "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, it's just such a funny thing to say".

This same person also gives me a vibe that she thinks I'm the 40 year old virgin on account of the fact that I'm single. I sensed that a while ago and the incident with the marriage chat made me wonder even more.

I'm wondering if either of those things are connected to her religion - the other one doesn't give me that vibe at all so I just wondered. I appreciate it may be totally irrelevant and the other one doesn't give me that vibe at all.

I know you can go online and find endless lists of who believes what, but I have no idea if they are accurate. Are JWs against sex before marriage? Do they have any particular beliefs regarding marriage that would mean it "should" be for love?

Thanks.

Ragged, yes because, while you were part of "the world", you didn't know any better.

Lorelei Jesus says in the gospels that his kingdom is no part of this world (when he is talking to Pilate), so his followers, JWs, should also be no part of it. She almost certainly doesn't do anything for charity because not only would that be being part of the world, it would mean helping non jws who all without exception are worshipping Satan, the ruler of this system of things, whether they realise it or not.

Re films and stuff, there are a limited number!ber of films/TV shows/books/music that would be acceptable. Anything with false religion (any but their own), bad language, sex, drug use, excessive drinking, magic etc. is pretty much a no no. Internet use should be restricted to approved stuff. You shouldn't even read another version of the bible but their own one, which you also shouldn't read independently but only in conjunction with watchtower published study aids.

Less, thank you, that explains something else I noticed with both JWs in the office. when we talk about films and TV, they have described certain things as "horror" when they are in no way part of that genre e.g if there's any scary element at all.

The other one, who does have a TV, was watching a period drama that a few of us recommended, then came in the following day and expressed shock at "the sex scene". A few of us piped up "what sex scene?" We were genuinely confused. It turns out she meant something really minor, a couple in bed essentially, and it was a post coital chat.

One of DD's best mates, "Ann" is a JW.
Ann gets exposed to some kinds of stuff I think (or thought) DD is too young for. Like reading The Hunger Games at age 11. Definitely not sheltered.

Ann has also done fundraising for causes at school.

Would Not be allowed a non-JW boyf, though.

Ooohhh! Her parents are a bit radical. Perhaps the governing body has realised that they have to loosen the grip a bit before they drive everyone away.

at some of these answers?

JW do help other people during disasters and share supplies etc and can fund raise if the choose to individually most JW would see putting money into the organisation as a way of helping others as much as doing in a fun run etc it is their choice.

You can read other bibles and you can read them whenever you want to and not in conjunction with anything if you choose.

All JWs are different and have varied life experience so some can be quite sheltered and some not. Many of the choices they make are also to do with their individual conscience so you will find some JWs involved in things others would not do.

Mistress "All JWs are different"

this is why I was wary of asking because all people of all religions are different of course.

definitely lorelei ...it's better to ask so you get a clearer picture.. there are fundamental guidelines and beliefs but some experiences are very individual, I have always wanted to believe that marriage is predominately about love and security for your partner but the reality is not everyone has that intention or opportunity and it would be naive to think so...

I'm sorry, mistress that is not my experience and I have been involved in several congregations around Scotland.
Re. the charity stuff, by far the majority of witnesses that I have ever known would never have given time or money to a worldly charity. They would give to the society exclusively. I know that they believed that this was the best way to help people but most of that help is targeted at their own or at the preaching work.

The conscience thing was always a card that was played for control. If something is left to your own conscience, the subtext is that Jehovah would likely not approve and because you have to stand before the judgement seat and justify yourself, the risk might just not be worth it. Also there is the fact that if it is known that you read fantasy novels/listen to death metal/attend a church funeral/school service, then you might be regarded as weak in the Truth and find yourself pushed to the fringes of the congregation.

It's all about control, although it is v. hard to see that from the inside because you need to keep the congregation clean and your conscience clear before God, the GB and the authority structure in your district and congregation. I even knew teens who were called before the elders because their parents had repo4ed them for masturbating. All done in "love" but not very loving.

About bible reading. There was an article, think it was watchtower, about not reading the bible without study aids because only with them could you discern the Truth. The GB had discovered that independent reading led to backsliding and falling away because people were misled because they couldn't understand what Jehovah was truly saying to them. Reading/studying other versions of the bible must be a new thing, except in the context of the preaching work where the householders own bible can be used by them. We were always encouraged, so to speak, to move them on to the NWT as quickly as possible.

I apologise if you find my comments offensive in any way, but I can only speak from my own experience.

my colleague definitely reads other versions of the Bible.

the other colleague - the one who seems a bit more in the world - listens to dance music and so on.

does anyone feel there is a typical view of a single woman in JW?

In my day, if you were single, you were expected to spend as much time as possible in the field and if you didnt, you were frowned at and bitched about. The preaching work was supposed to take precedence over everything, even employment and education, which was also frowned upon, except in fields that suited the GB.

I had many friends who just did not work. They told the DSS that they were full time ministers if religion. Those who did work only did a very few hours a week, enough to get the government of their backs. They did either 90 or 120 hours a month in the preaching work.

A single female was expected either to remain single or to seek marriage but only with another witness. She would remain under the authority of her father, who would be replaced by her husband on marriage. There are very traditional gender roles. No tattoos, one ear piercing only, modest dress, modest hair cut, no bright or unnatural hair colours. Devoutness and reputation in the congregation prized above all else. No leadership roles.

I agree with you Less about the vast majority giving to the preaching work I'm not saying this is not the case but I do know JW who have been involved with charity work.

These are all guidelines and as you said a person would have to make their stand but this does not change to fact that you can make personal conscience based decisions I have been to church funeral and sat at the back out of respect for my family members more than once and I know personally and author who writes historical fantasy novels who has been a witness for many years.

Some JW are not as loving as the could or should be but this is about those individuals and their behavior and some excuse this by pretending/believing that they are 'helping' but not providing the loving support that they should.

The majority of the bible reading would definitely be from the NWT but this does not negate the use of other bibles and never has if you read the WT and other JW publications they often use other bible translations and cited non witness publications as reference.

I don't find any of you points offensive and we all have different experiences.

ah, both my colleagues are big on fashion. Thanks for chatting though, it's been interesting.

You still are expected to spend as much time as your lifestyle allows in the field service all the young witnesses I know are working you should not be living off the state unless you are unable to work some have more than one ear piercing but not body ones some have red/purple hair(bottle),pompadours(men), dreads(women).

My Niece is currently training to become a plumber good money less hours and got time to preach.

JWs male and female are expected to remain single until married and marry another witness never heard of this father thing many younger witnesses I know have left home and have their flat/room or share.

reputation is important and although women do not have leadership roles like an Elder or MS but they are the teachers of the congregation and the majority of the full-time pioneers are women who are the heart of a congregation.

Yep lots of fashionistas...take care lorelei

Oh yes, the wt and the awake very often use other translations, especially the awake and a lot of the pamphlets etc designed for non witnesses. We were always discouraged heavily from using other bibles for personal reading, though and to turn studies round to the NWT at the earliest opportunity.

I think in all faiths and walks of life you get folk who are not as loving as they should be, its one of the things that put people off religion. I'm glad o haven't offended you. It can be difficult for a witness to deal with someone who disassociated themselves.

As I say, I've been out a long time. It's good that girls can train and work now. I'm from the generation that was encouraged not even to have children because the end was so imminent. Education was definitely a no no, especially for girls. I'm glad as well that there is more emphasis on girls supporting themselves, now. I had plenty friends who left home and flat shared with other witness girls, but who didn't work at all or who only worked a handful of hours. That was never a good impression to give people, especially in light of being no part of the world.

I'm a study but longtime associate trying to move forward.. totally agree with you that the behavior of people can put you off religion.. basically arses being arsey and blaming others or their religion for their behavior!

I'm going to support my girls in whatever they choose to do, if they want to do full-time ministry or work part-time ..their own business but I want them to have Jehovah in their lives.

We had a bad experience with a JW elsewhere in the family, but DD's solid friendship with Ann has done a lot to boost my view of JWism.

DD is a fashionista feisty transgender gay rights atheist activist. Naturally Ann has different views but they have learnt to let each other have different perspectives. DD's idealism about defending minorities certainly extends to religious minorities, and Ann can talk about how JWs were targeted in Holocaust, too.

ragged well done you! your daughter sounds lovely and respectful of others and their views

mmm... actually she struggles in some ways, Mistress. There's little cultural diversity around here and on the one hand she thinks everyone should be as rampantly pro-multi-cultural as DD thinks she is, otoh, she is sometimes naive about the causes she espouses (like all youth?). I'm glad she wants to think & not be a sheep, though. :)

They all do I think mine certainly do ....they are young finding their feet and realising the world isn't always as black and white as you want to believe but the good thing is she is a thinker and not just a follower

Well done your DD, ragged. It's brilliant watching your teens grow up into thinking young adults, isn't it. There's no diversity here either, but I like to think that my kids have grown up accepting, tolerant and compassionate. If only everyone could be the same, the world would be a much better place.

It would be even better if old fogeys like me could combine the enthusiasm and idealism of the teenage years with the experience and supposed wisdom that comes with getting a bit older.

I can't tell you how pleased I am that Ann's parents have let her continue her friendship with your DD. 20 or 30 years ago it just wouldn't have been allowed and the whole family would have gone down in standing in the congregation.