I'd like to share something that was a fantastic turning point for me.
I was raised by parents who never expressed pleasure or approval to their children - my mother was a drunken bully and father, although a good man, is grumpy and dissatisfied with life.
I gravitated towards bullying men because I had been trained that my role was to deal with their needs. Mine were always ignored, even by me and I grew more and more neurotic.
After extensive psychotherapy I became aware of all this and learned to make better choices, meeting and marrying my wonderful dh.
But the old patterns remained, and I would exhaust myself trying to be all things for everyone and fretting that if I did not impress my dh with my diligence all the time he would stop loving me.
Then 16 months ago, I broke my ankle badly and was not allowed to put weight on it for three months. With three children, the youngest aged two at that time, my family had to cover for me while I lay on the sofa calling out instructions and complaining about the pain.
I learned that my family love me anyway, even when I can't do anything for them.
This was the most wonderfully liberating realisation of my life. While I am still quite driven, I have only now, at the age of 43, discovered that I am allowed to lounge about and be lazy, serve beans on toast for dinner if I am tired, watch TV during the day if I want - and not feel guilty.
I now feel loved for myself and not for what I can do for people.
Despite all the pain and difficulty, I am so grateful that I broke my ankle.