What does 'forgiveness' mean to you?

[Thistledew]

My own view is that 'forgiveness' is mainly beneficial for self-serving reasons. That it is not healthy to carry around anger, bitterness or lingering hurt over something that cannot be undone. That it is beneficial to one's own state of mind to dwell on the past, and that we should try and recognise that we all behave in less than ideal ways from time to time but that does not mean that we are fundamentally bad people- and so we should recognise that in others too.

However, I don't see forgiveness as behaving as if the hurt had never been caused. It is perfectly possible to 'forgive' someone but to make sure that you don't give them a second chance to hurt you again. Or at least to give the person who has wronged you the chance to show that they can be trusted, but not to be giving of that trust until they have shown that it is deserved.

What does 'forgiveness' mean to you?

We had a wonderful elderly lady in our church - both of her daughters were killed by a drunk driver. She immediately forgave him and found such peace in doing so.
She passed away last year at the grand age of 93. She came to church every week right to the end and always had a smile on her face saying "There is so much to be thankful for !"
Her faith was so strong. She knew she would see her daughters again.
We all miss her.

True, Niminy, I know my friends used to say, "At least my life's not as bad as Cheapskatemums"! Whereas to me, it was just what my life was and I didn't have any alternative other than to get on with it. It wasn't major traumatic events though, just 4 lively young DSs (one severely disabled), a DH who worked abroad most of the time and no family anywhere near to help out ever. Certainly no one to forgive for that set of circumstances!

It;s hugely patronising to tell others how they should deal with trauma.

Which nobody actually has.