Peaceful, thank you for coming back.
We agree completely on suffering caused by man, such as the pain of that poor woman you describe. Nobody should hold their god accountable for it, and she can reasonably take comfort in her faith.
We don't agree on whether there could have been a better system. I think what you are saying is there is no better system; and if there were, that we would find other sources of pain. For me, that doesn't quite work, because self inflicted pain I can live with. And the damage caused just by genetic disability, to stick only with my example, is too terrible and widespread for me to forgive the fact that no better system was attempted. So I don't want god to be interventionist and destroy free will. But there is no free will when you are created terribly disabled by god. Free will doesn't come into it. This is deliberate sabotage, deliberate destruction.
I have confused things a bit by talking in my examples as if I believe in god, and so you wonder why I care that you are not angry with god, given I don't believe in him. Sorry, that was a way to describe my position if I had decided to believe. As you know, I don't. I become- not angry, in fact, but hurt- that people don't see the same as I do, and say, "god cannot exist, the explanation of suffering is not credible at all; and it is too important to sweep under the carpet, I will not put it out of my mind and carry on anyway." Ppl don't say that.
The idea that whom god loves he tests is all over the christian bible, especially perhaps in the story of the prophet Job. that was why i told my own parable, of those 30 orphans farmed for their organs. There is no benefit, to me or to others, that can justify what has been done to create that benefit. It is simply too cruel, nobody has the right to do this. Belief in god means accepting god does have this right, and I don't accept it.
Your other point is that most atheists have some secret reason, at a personal level, to hate ppl of faith. Nt in my case. I grew up in singing in a cathedral, I still do in fact sing in a cathedral when asked to. I am aware when ppl of faith do terrible things, and I don't refrain from discussing it out of misplaced loyalty to the institution, but that's not the same thing.
If I have only achieved one thing, I would like it to be that at least one atheists has made her position understandable, clear and worthy of full respect, not being dismissed as being something else. Not bothered by man made suffering. Not dealing with trivial "good for you" type suffering. Aware of free will. Aware of the teaching that whom god loves he tests. Not molested in the cradle by a vicar. Been through all that, peaceful, really. Given it careful thought.
Still think the example of genetic disability stands out and is a complete rebuttal to any argument I have yet heard for god existing. Sorry. But thank you for explaining your position too.