Help me get my head around atheist friend getting baptised.

[Nummer]

He constantly posts atheist and Christian-bashing comments/jokes/pictures on facebook. I find this unnecessary and sometimes offensive, but I never comment as I don't want to use facebook for anything other than lighthearted communication.

Anyway, he now lives overseas and is getting married to a local woman. The law there is that both parties must be the same religion so he is "converting" and getting baptised.

He is going to stand in a church and promise all sorts of things. It's not as if he's unsure what he believes - he has been extremely vocal about how he doesn't believe any of it. To the point that he tells people they are stupid to believe this.

I cannot get my head around how someone could do that. Is this a common thing to do?

Yes he can thegambler.
And at the end everything that we have said and done and even thought will be exposed.

For the man that the op is talking about, one of his needs and beliefs trumped the other.
His need or want for marriage trumped all sorts of stuff that he had been saying.

Was that directed at me, thegambler? Of course God can tell, and he is at work even if we don't know it! That is a Christian perpective, of course.

It;s just smartypants said "a sacrament is always serious to God even if a person thinks they are doing it with two fingers up and a sarcastic smile."

I have huge sympathy for your friend. I am an atheist, and luckily had the choice of getting married in a civil ceremony here rather than a church one, though this was back in the days before the law changed, when all weddings were either church or register office, no hotels or stately homes etc. I was lucky that my local register office was reasonably nice-looking, rather than the grim office blocks in some places. I can see why, in those days, some non-believers opted for a church ceremony rather than a civil one - but that was just too hypocritical for me.

But there are some countries, mostly in the middle East but probably elsewhere too, where there is no such thing as a civil marriage - religious ceremonies only. So what choice does your friend have? Yes, he thinks all the religious stuff is nonsense, but he wants to get married, and that is the only way.

If it was in the UK, and he pretended to convert in order to have a church wedding just because of family pressure/they liked the venue or whatever, then yes, I would be a bit sniffy about the hypocrisy involved, but in his actual circumstances, it doesn't sound like he has much choice. Coming back to the UK to get married may not be feasible if neither of them is officially resident here, and there might also be visa issues for the bride.

I'm an atheist and if my wife had wanted to get married in church I would have.

Thank you for all your thoughts. You have extended my perspective and I do feel a little less shocked!

I don't know why they don't go to the UK but I assume that the bride wants a traditional celebration with her family. They are planning a big wedding, I know that. His fiance does go to church, but I don't know her well beyond that so hard to say more.

To me it says a lot about the bride, happy to have her man speak vows he doesn't mean. Her attitude is questionable.

The important vows are the wedding vows - which the couple make to each other whether it's a civil or religious ceremony. He can still be 100% serious about those, despite having been pushed to make another (meaningless to him) set earlier to be allowed to marry.

My first reaction was to be perplexed by his hypocrisy. But then it dawned on me that I used to be pretty down on Christianity. I grumbled about how it was nonsense while secretly wondering about it. Eventually I started going to church and ended up having a believers baptism.

I do think it's a bit odd to make the statements required if you don't mean them. But you never know where he could end up.

I'm an atheist and if my wife had wanted to get married in church I would have

I'm an atheist and if my husband had wanted to get married in a church, I wouldn't have married him

Here here maid of stars- same here. I wouldn't have a relationship with a christian though- so hypothetical.

Here here maid of stars- same here. I wouldn't have a relationship with a christian though- so hypothetical

Indeed. The first version of that post came with a disclaimer that i was unlikely to ever reach the point of second date marriage with a religious person.

mais- sorrry missed that, but I agree. I wouldn't get to second date either!!

If she lives in an orthodox country then it's not appropriate to apply the ideas / values that we have here where there is much more acceptance and choice.

In some countries religion is totally ingrained in the entire culture through and through and pretty much everyone does it by default whether they believe or not. Many won't even think about it, it's just what you do. In some countries of course, abiding by the religion is enforced by law.

So really, he's not got any choice, if he wants to marry the woman, maybe if he even wants to have an open relationship with her, depending on what country we're talking about.

mais- sorrry missed that, but I agree

No you didn't, I revised my post to exclude it!