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Philosophy/religion

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Atheists... opinions please

41 replies

GeoffLeopard · 09/03/2014 23:03

I'm having an existential crisis. Don't believe in god and I've broadly made peace with that. But I have totally lost my way and everything seems futile. Can I ask..
How as an atheist do you find your purpose and meaning in life? And do you find it hard to truly acknowledge the thought that when you're gone, you're gone?

OP posts:
MotherIsTheBestBet · 10/03/2014 22:24

Try gardening, seriously. There's nothing better for dealing with this sort of thing. Forget Sartre anx get an allotment. There comes a point where there's nothing more to be said. Throw yourself into the earth for a while and somehow the whole idea of meaning becomes a sort of irrelevant noise and instead life and death come into focus as the solid, immutable and indivisible facts that they are. This is very healing. Humans can get very sick when they think too much.

OneEggIsAnOeuf · 10/03/2014 22:35

To answer your first question, i learnt to manage anxiety and depression and live in the moment using mindfulness meditation (which also has it's origins in Buddhism). It is really a way of bringing awareness to everything we experience. It can't make every moment a good one but it can make the bad ones easier to bear.

Instead of being overwhelmed by the sensations we experience in response to events, those sensations are broken down to thoughts, feelings and physical sensations. When we do this we can stop the chain reaction that leads from rumination to physical anxiety. It is one of those things that is very simple in principle but takes quite a lot of discipline to apply. I can link to some resources if you think it is something you may be interested in.

I can't really answer the second one since i have a different view, but will have a go! Someone earlier mentioned the ego being the main problem in accepting the finality of death, the fear that our individuality counts for nothing in the big scheme of things. This is absolutely true, but i think, for me at least, as an individual i have no fear about ceasing to exist. What i fear is separation, especially from my child. Having a spiritual belief obviously relieves that to an extent, but i am acutely aware that it is a belief, and so i endeavour to live as though this is all we have, and that means living with an awareness of how precious each moment is, especially those spent with those we love, which takes us back to living in the moment, and not wasting our life living in our thoughts, ruminating about things that may or may not come to pass.

To go back to Buddhism, Buddha had very little to say about life after death or metaphysics in general. He accepted that we cannot know and so speculation was pointless and the only meaningful thing we could do was to seek to understand the nature of this life.

CalamityKate · 10/03/2014 22:51

I'm often struck by how lucky I am to be alive, with all the wonderful things life can offer. I'm thankful for my family and my friends and especially my children. I sometimes look up into the night sky and marvel at how very insignificant and tiny we are, and just how truly amazing this planet is.

And I think I appreciate all these things more because I don't believe in any sort of deity. I think when we die that's it. That makes me even more determined to notice the wondrous; whether that's a beautiful sunset or a delicious meal or whatever.

LastingLight · 11/03/2014 06:30

GeoffLeopard if you're depressed that goes a long way towards explaining why you are experiencing life as meaningless. It's a depression symptom, get treatment and as you get healthy you will find that you live less inside your own head and more joyfully in the world.

headinhands · 11/03/2014 06:35

Good call lasting. Maybe you're over thinking it and what you've called an existential crisis is mild depression. And over thinking is all part of it isn't it. Definitely worth considering Geoff.

chocoluvva · 11/03/2014 07:44

Sartre was an unpleasant man IMO with little to offer.

I'm so glad you've had IMO really good advice on your thread.

I hope you have a good day today. Smile

GeoffLeopard · 11/03/2014 22:00

Thanks everyone. I guess depression doesn't help matters... But I keep coming back to the same philosophical thoughts even on my good days.

Oneegg I hadn't thought about that before. Its the thpight of separation that upsets me. Though also the never being able to see or speak to your loved ones. One to ponder on.

Mother I'm definitely going to do some gardening. Am planning this for Easter to celebrate renewal of life with my girls... Maybe I'll start sooner.

Again I really appreciate you all thrashing this out with me. I might print this out and keep it as a reference. I am having treatment and it seems to be working so fingers crossed.

Much love to you all xx

OP posts:
LCHammer · 13/03/2014 09:11

What a thoughtful thread.

LumpySpacePrincessOhMyGlob · 18/03/2014 18:55

If anything it can make life more meaningful. Every second counts. Every word or deed, no back up invisible get out of jail free card. It's just you and your own actions, words, thoughts, deeds.

The world is breathtaking, it doesn't need any mysterious invisible forces to add to its beauty.

Immerse yourself in science and nature and you just accept what a wonderful place this is. Follow the cycle of the year and when we drop off the conveyer belt of life then at least we would have walked around with our heads up drinking it all in.

Atheism makes the real important, as it should be.

CalamityKate · 19/03/2014 11:47

Absolutely, Lumpy!

I just can't get my head round people who can wax lyrical about spirits and heaven and all that rubbish....and who seem totally uninterested in things that DO exist. The world is utterly fascinating and beautiful as it is and yet some people aren't content with that; they have to invent things!

Biccietin · 20/03/2014 22:34

What Lumpy said!

If we only get one life and there's nothing after it, so that's a reason to not only try to enjoy our own lives but perhaps more importantly to try improve, or at best to reduce suffering in other peoples lives. That's a purpose there.

The world is amazing. Humanity is amazing, our capacity for love, art, creativity, innovation, humour is all amazing. When you learn how everthing in the universe is made up of a few atoms. And how huge it is. Wow.

I think Tim Minchin explains it really well somewhere, perhaps someone can find a link to a YouTube clip of it.

Pyneapple · 21/05/2014 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 06/06/2014 10:19

Atthestrokeoftwelve what a great post. It's really touched me. Smile

MarriedDadOneSonOneDaughter · 09/06/2014 08:02

As a sceptic atheist I find reconciling life with meaninglessnesss (!) the greatest of challenges. It is a greater challenge than "believing" in a god.

Meaning in life, however, is an entirely human concern. Outside human existence there is no meaning. However, we are all human and have the intellect to ascribe any meaning to life we choose.

With that in mind you are blessed. You have the luxury and ability to develop your own meaning to life, both through your intelligence and your leisure time/surplus wealth. If you have more than shelter, food and water you have "surplus wealth" and "leisure".

I read History of Western Philosophy (Bertrand Russell) a while back and found it useful as I could cherry pick from many wiser people the things that inspired me and therefore might give me a "sense" of meaning. They included:

  • Virtue
  • Happiness
  • Rational decision making
  • Empathy

That's my own synthesis of what is needed to "feel" as though I live life with "meaning" even if, existentially, I might believe there is no meaning.

I would also recommend reading the Amsterdam Declaration (2002) by the International Humanists.

thegambler · 16/06/2014 20:29

I don't have a purpose or a meaning to my life but there are many things in life I enjoy and they keep me going. Right now for me living is better than the alternative. Watching my kids grow, the elation of standing on a hill and taking in the view after the hard work of getting there, makng friends laugh, getting completely lost in a book, simple pleasures that make living worthwhile.

Interesting all the Sartre chat, do you mean the "being and nothingmess" stuff which I have to admit gave me a headache and made me none-the-wiser, or the fiction which I loved (Ivich was my first literary crush, I'm a bloke btw) ?

Anyone of the "it's pointless but we may aswell have a giggle while we're here" mind might want to have a look at Peter Wessel Zapffe.

puppythedog · 16/06/2014 21:46

I have been very calmly but strongly atheist for almost al of my life, at different times in my life I have also been a little bit low and questioned life. I have not turned to a god or any greater meaning; I have looked for an understanding of myself and my place in my relationships and my world/universe.
I found the idea that I was ultimately insignificant in a wide context and that I am not special (at least no more special than everyone else) incredibly liberating. I am not beholden to destiny, to any plan or expectation; I am free from all of that to enjoy what I can enjoy and tolerate what I cannot enjoy. This freedom does not limit my responsibility but rather has compounded it, I am responsible for myself in every way and I find that empowering.
I am significant to those I love and I am about to embark upon a new significance when we have our baby in October, I find that a bit worrying but I don't think it drastically changes how I define myself, although my choices and behaviours will likely be different.

I'm a fan of mindfulness because I think the ability to recognise thoughts as being thoughts rather than truths can help, even if you cannot work out the truths being able to disempower a thought can be a powerful skill. I am also a fan of sharing kindness and compassion whenever possible including towards myself. The times I do not manage to show the world the kindness I want I remember that i am a decent human being and I am trying my best.

However you try to make sense of your lot and your life good luck to you.

to Everyone else I have enjoyed reading your thoughts about this. It's nice to think about these things.

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